Moving, Money, Men and Drugs.

Umm…it’s odd. I keep thinking that I am writing in here, but when I go to look at the entry list, nothing new is there. I guess I am using a thought process of ‘I need to write this for the OD’ and just never get around to doing it.
Anyhow….life life life..what’s going on with me? Ummm… I’m moving on July 13th, and I have broken down and decided to pay someone to help me. *shrugs* It makes life easier. I haven’t started packing yet, because I don’t have any boxes. Corey said that he would get me some boxes from work, but I am still on an independent search for boxes. I mean I work in half of a factory, I SHOULD be able to find some great boxes. I just stuck a little note on this big stack of boxes that I saw in an elevator about to be taken to be recycled most likely, politely asking the ‘owner’ to give me a call. *sighs* Hopefully I will hear from them a little after lunch.
Note on above: I tend not to rely on people, because I know just how unreliable some people are, and how easily some people tend to shrug off ‘favors’ they have said they would do for someone else. So anytime I ask someone for a ‘favor’ (except my mom) I have secondary plans in motion just in case they fall through. If they don’t, I can always throw away some extra boxes, but if I do get left in the lurch, I won’t totally be assed out. Part of my pessimism showing.
I was supposed to start a new pack of pills on Sunday, and I haven’t. I don’t feel much different, though I did have a dream this morning in which there was a distinct scene of me slobbing Corey down, so that is a good sign. I haven’t called the doc yet either – work has been hectic, but I will do so. I never called him to talk about the results of my latest pap either, so I can kill two birds with one stone. I have researched and researched and there basically seem to be four different kinds of birth control. 1) Hormones – the pill, Norplant, Depo, Lunaire 2) Barrier – Condom( girl and guy), Diaphragm, Sponge, Foam… 3) for lack of a better word – ‘Devices’ – Chasitity Belts, IUD’s and the like, and the last kind 4) Dangerous/Unrealistic(for me) – Pulling out, Fertility Awareness methods, abstinence.
Hormones are out. I really don’t like taking them, and it seems that no matter what kind I take (I have been on three different kinds, a tri-cyclic, a low dose tri-cyclic and a mono-phasic) I end up not having sex cuz I don’t want to anyhow. Forced abstinence is a bit much for me. I’ll be damned if I get something stuck in me that I will HAVE to live with for long periods of time. Nope uh-uh. When I got pregnant before it was with a condom, so my security with that method is nil, I just don’t trust diaphragms (how do you know the stupid thing is covering EVERYTHING??) and I would use up a bottle of foam at a time (and what if his are some really tenacious wrigglers?) and sponges cost too much. Less than a child, yes, but still…and as for group 4 – I might as well just get pregnant and be done with it. So… that leaves me with the IUD. Mind you, I was conceived ‘around’ an IUD…but that WAS 25 years ago. I hope (pray…) that the IUD’s are better now. So…*sighs* I hate having stuff poked that far into me. It hurts. *grins* But as I’m sure Cyndi would say, ‘Labor feels worse!’ So…

Ummm… I have decided to borrow 100 bucks from my mom, just in case to tide me over if Gio’s surgery costs more than I expected it to. *sighs* If if if… bitching does no good though does it? I could have asked Corey for the cash… but as he still owes me 45.00 bucks for a damn phone bill *rolls eyes* I don’t want to have any monetary interactions with him. umph. And I sure as heck don’t want to be beholden to him in that kind of way. Is that sad? I’m not sure…we have very different ideas on how to handle money soo….it makes life easier. At least my life.
Anything else? Work has been….interesting lately. Hectic in a stressful kind of way, but not really in a ‘pressed –for –time’ kind of way. It’s odd. It’s stress based on conflict between what people want and what can truly be provided, rather than a conflict between what is needed and the amount of time we have to do that in. I think I like the time stress more.
I’m tired. Tired tired tired. I (stupidly) stayed up until 2am Sunday talking to Corey about ‘us’. If anyone has watched Sex and the City… I totally sympathize with Samatha – “I’m so SICK of talking!!’ . Anyway…I have been on the go since then, leaving the house around 6:30 am and not getting back until around 10:00 pm because of driving class, and then having to do whatever in the house and then drag my ass to bed. I’m wiped. And then they want me to come into work later tonight so that I can restore the system because most of our test data got corrupted yesterday. *sighs* Hopefully I’ll be home by 10:00 tonight. Hopefully. Last night I was talking to my mom about the money, and I was so tired while looking for the ATM card that I felt like crying. *sighs* Lack of sleep makes me an evil evil person. And Corey assumes that it is something to do with him. *rolls eyes* Mercy, can’t I have an attitude without him thinking that it is a personal reflection on ‘us’??

Stay Jazzed