bubbles

Ever have a feeling or a thought that just felt SO perfect and glorious and wonderful that all of a sudden it feels like the entire top of your head is filled with bubbles? I just got off the phone with Corey - and he suggested as a possible place to move to when we leave here - Miami. Suddenly my body is filled with bubbles.
The cost of living is a little higher, but we could cover that by the simple fact of us living together. Midwifery is legal there, and in fact one of the few midwifery SCHOOLS in the US is in Florida. The weather is great - one of the main things I was looking for in a city was that it be WARM. The ocean is close by - and we have both always wanted to live near the ocean. We are STILL on the East Coast which honestly, was one of the biggest reasons I was uncertain about moving to Cali, since my family and ALL my friends live on the East Coast. Miami is a bustling city - Corey will easily be able to find cooking jobs there. MIDWIFERY IS TOTALLY LEGAL - oh my god I could go to school...and be safe in the law... and learn with others...and be back in school.
The crime rate is a little higher, yes. We would have to learn Spanish, yes - but we planned on doing that anyway. You can get hit by hurricanes - yes. However, at least with hurricanes you have forwarning, AND you can escape. In a earthquake, you are SO screwed.

:) I'm giggly. I'm off to find diaries of Miami type people. I can't figure out what was so unattractive about Miami that it didn't end up on our original 'move-to' list...

Simplicity

I'm a believer in a simple life.

My life goal is to lead a simple life - a life pared down to it's glowing core where everything I touch and do has a purpose - even if the only purpose is to amuse myself.

In my dreams of my perfect future - I live in a mediumish sized old house. Maybe about 5 or 6 bedrooms. It has a HUGE backyard, and is close (under 3 hours) to a metropolitan city. I want to live someplace where it's warm most of the year so that I can grow most of our 'steady' produce in the yard.
I want Corey there - obviously. I want kids, lots of kids. *LOL* We've agreed to 2 with a possibility of a third, but in all honesty I'd like to have around five. I want to be able to stay at home with my kids - to homeschool them until at least 5th grade. I want to have work of my own - but work that I can do at home so that I can still be a mother. I want a circle of friends who understand and appreciate the simple life - who are as intelligent and quirky as me, but each bring something wonderful and different to the table.
I want to have parties - full of good food and good drink and laughing and giggling children (and adults) that end up with everyone outside watching a meteor shower.
I wantto spend long weekends with just me and Corey - knowing that our kids are safe and that we don't have to do ANYTHING but connect even deeper with each other.

I want to live in peaceful surroundings, doing the 'work' that I love, surrounded by those I love. Hm. I wonder how many people have a dream like this. I wonder how many people just don't dream at all.

For some reason, I've begun to think that I 'belong' in California. Yes, it's expensive as hell. Yes, it's damn near as far away as we can GET from both our families. No, I don't know anyone there/have any job prospects/know why the hell I have a pull towards the state thats going to end up as an island. But. But. From all I've heard/read about/understand of Cali....it truly might be where I belong.
Even in OD - I read the diaries of Cali people and I think YES! I should be THERE.... not here.

Simple Simplicity.

Cheerful Chic

I feel totally wonderful now, and I am most likely going to ruin that by getting some coffee.

Actually – I feel almost totally wonderful – I have this weird little crick in my neck right where my skull starts in the back – but that’s not too bad…it’s actually kinda nice – letting mek now that I have gotten WAYYYY too much sleep in the past three days.

Let’s see – I was off Sunday, and Monday, and Tuesday – from both jobs. I don’t think I have had three days STRAIGHT off since – since – oh I can’t even REMEMBER. It was WONDERFUL. I am soooo well rested, and so relaxed and so at peace – it’s AMAZING!

Also – we found an apartment AND the site for the wedding. *claps with joy*

We went to see the Hide Away spot – and it’s PERFECT. I mean totally hogswonkingly PERFECT. A huge kitchen, a gorgeous patio, chairs, tables, EVERYTHING. AND – it’s only 60.00 an hour with a 4 hour minimum. We are thinking about whether we want to get the place for a full day – or if we want to just get 5 or 6 hours. *grins* I’m thrilled – now all I have to do is be SURE to be there the day after Labor Day to insure that we can get the date that we want. I will take the day off if needed – oh yeah. So – that’s more or less done…

And the apartment!! Oh – it’s SOOOO cute. We’re going to be on the third floor, big balcony, 2 bathrooms, 940 sqft, 2 bedrooms, a big ole kitchen, carports – just EVERYTHING for about 560.00 – which is LESS than what we are paying now. *does a little dance* It’s futher out – south of Indy, and it’s in a complex – but that means that we have a POOL and someone to pick up our packages and a clubhouse! *giggles* I’m so thrilled – Corey’s pretty darn thrilled too. And – because Lilly is a preferred employer – we get a 5% discount, and no application fee. Can I be thrilled? Can I? *bounces*

We’re going to fill out the applications this weekend and drop them off at the complex. *grins*

I’m still broke – and now we need to start looking for movers – cuz I KNOW that is going to be expensive (moving from the first floor of an old building to the third in a place with NO elevator) *sighs* much loot. I’m not sure if I will be able to afford driving to PA – time or money wise. Testing will have started back up here, and I know it’s going to be like pulling teeth just to get the first week of July off – so trying to get two more days off might be close to impossible. Besides the fact that I always spend WAYYYY too much money when I go home…

Argh!


But I’m still in a damn good mood. :)


Jasmyn

Short Update and Note Replies

So tired. So so soooo very tired. Finished moving in...not finished unpacking. Love love love the place. Pictures soon. Cable doesn't work. Bad cable company. Catling is hyper. Boyfriend is wonderful. Need air conditioning. :)

Dollz: I have been collecting doll 'bits' from all over the web. If I can figure out a way to do it I'll display some of the nicer dolls. No Mermaid...you'll have your dolly in a bit. :) IceChica: Nah... I haven't checked out the barbie site, bit I will. Cyndi/Desert Rein: Do a web search for dollz (note the 'z') and plenty of pages of dollmakers will pop up. :) I've saved a lot of bodies and props to my hard drive so I can hold on to them...and play while I'm NOT hooked up to the web.

Um. I think that's it.

No-Title Title

Well… that went well…sorta. I have ‘taken’ possession of my new digs, but the key doesn’t work, so I haven’t really taken anything. *sighs* Anyway, I went to sign the lease Friday afternoon, went to the apartment (which I have STILL not been in alone…*sighs*) wandered around for a bit, ate at Mickey – D’s and then came on back home. I really really like this place. While the apt that I’m in now was…almost overwhelming in it’s openness and hugeness, this place is simply welcoming. It feels very homey, and I really like it. I wanted to go and smudge the place, but I want to do that alone so I might have to stop there Thursday night after class. I want that place to be sweet and fresh when I move my stuff in.

The rest of the weekend was more of the same. I lazed about Friday night, woke up relatively early Saturday, packed some, then got dressed and went out. I wanted to pick up a decorating book or two, and I wanted to see a movie. So I ended up going to see Tomb Raider (umm… wait for it) and eating out. I had some LO-VE-LY prime rib (and for under 20 bucks too!!) and an all around good time. Came home after that, watched a bit of TV, crashed a bit. Sunday, got woken up at 7:00 by the sounds of them imploding the old arena up the street from my house, couldn’t get back to sleep, so I went to IHOP. Having packed up most of my cookware and food and spices gives one a wonderful excuse to eat out. Packed a bit more, washed clothes, dozed, and in all had a lovely weekend. I hoped to see Corey before it was all over, but as he was detained in returning from his family reunion (what should have been a six hour trip turned in to a 10 hour trip) that didn’t happen.

Ah yes. And so now here I am at work, with little to nothing to do, freezing my poor little TOES off. *sighs* I really wish they would come back and FIX this crap. It’s a health danger. I think I might protest and start working from home. *pouts*

Anyway. I’m a little sleepy. *yawn* Hm. I start back up with these stupppppiiid driving classes again today. Oh joy… rapturous rapturous joy. blegh. I wanna DRIVE dammit. *sighs* Okay.

I’m gone.

Stay Jazzed.

Fireworks...

BRRRRRRRR!!!!!

It is just not right for it to be 83 degrees outside, and to be about 60 degrees inside. NASTY NASTY NASTY. I’m cold!! I don’t like being cold! Dammit!

With that little rant out of the way, I had a good Independence Day. I slept lots, packed lots, actually went and WATCHED the fireworks this year rather than staying cooped up in my apartment listening to them like I did last year. The only thing that would have made the fireworks better would have been if Corey was there with me. *sighs* I ought to call him up and tell him that. I think I will. *pause* Um. okay. All done. *sighs* I’m turning into a clothing courier. Ah well.

I’m practically done packing, but it doesn’t look like it. Because this is the first time I am moving with actual real furniture, the house still looks kinda full, cuz all the big stuff is still sitting around. Most of the cabinets and stuff are empty, but you can’t really tell that from a single look. I have been throwing out so MUCH stuff… it is really ridiculous. I have been carting along so much junk with me for the past few years, it’s actually kinda nice to get rid of it.

Giovanni is NOT happy with the whole moving situation. He has been acting like heis on drugs for the past few days…running around chasing after something only he can see, meowing so sad and pitiful and then when I try to pet him attacking my hand…it’s scary. Almost like he is regressing. He doesn’t even seem to notice that his bits are gone…

I am starting to feel … guilty … about not doing my hair. It doesn’t really look THAT bad, but I am just really aware of that fact that I have not DONE my hair in well over a month, and that is just not cool. I finally put a bead in it (it looks really cool, I might have to take a picture) but I’m not as happy with it as I should be because the REST of my hair isn’t all nice and neat and parted and DONE like it should be. However, since I am a lazy baby, and there are so many more interesting things for me to do lately than my HAIR, I don’t see me getting it done anytime soon.
Also, I know that I am a little sensitive about my hair. There have been many a day when I thinking that I look like an utter crow’s nest up there, and someone will compliment me on my hair. Another thing that has been picking at me is the fact that I have…odd hair. Remarkable thick, rather kinky coily and nappy, but ONLY when it is totally free. If I have my hair twisted on in braids or in locs like it is now, the roots of my hair come out wavy. Almost straight. And I don’t think that they are gonna loc up on their own. *sighs* Soooooooo….. I think that I am going to break down and do my hair.

But speaking of hair…

I had an interesting run in yesterday, and I haven’t figured out whether to be insulted or complimented by it. I was walking to the liquor store ( to get BOXES!!!!) and this guy pulled up next to me in a Mercedes with a girl in the passenger seat. He asked me if I did my own locs, and I said yes. He asked if I did other folx, and I said not really. All well and good right? So then he asked for my number so that maybe he could call me to get his done. *shrugs* No problem, this might be a secondary source of Income. SO I give him my number and my ‘other’ name, and continue on the to grocery store. He had a bit of a tude, but I didn’t pay it no mind. So I’m behind the liquor store, scavenging for the best boxes, and here comes Mr. Car Dude… anyhow… (here comes the insult/compliment part) he tells me that I have a lovely ass (umm..thanks) and that he would like to get with me in about an hour. *makes face* Say whaa?? After I turn him down, he tells me that he is a producer from NYC with big bucks…. I tell him I don’t want/need nobody else’s money and anyway... I GOT a man… he comes back with ‘well I don’t need nobody else’s woman’. *snickers* So annnyyyhow… he gets a further tude (on top of the one he already had) cuz I told him I had no interest in fuckin his skanky ass… and then leaves, saying I was gonna change my mind.
Now, my point of confusion was this: Should I be complimented on the fact that he noticed me as a lovely sexy woman, or should I be insulted that he stepped to me in such a trifling way? My own personal feeling is pure amusement that he thought he was so much the shit that he didn’t NEED to show any common respect or decency. *shrugs* And he wasn’t even all that cute!! Or maybe I should just hold the two things as separate compliment -------- insult. *sighs* *giggles* He thought I was gonna be IMPRESSED?!??! Umph… please.
I briefly considered telling Corey about this, but somehow I think this is one of those things that men just don’t need to know. Or at least boyfriendly type men…*shakes head*


Stay Jazzed,

Moving, Money, Men and Drugs.

Umm…it’s odd. I keep thinking that I am writing in here, but when I go to look at the entry list, nothing new is there. I guess I am using a thought process of ‘I need to write this for the OD’ and just never get around to doing it.
Anyhow….life life life..what’s going on with me? Ummm… I’m moving on July 13th, and I have broken down and decided to pay someone to help me. *shrugs* It makes life easier. I haven’t started packing yet, because I don’t have any boxes. Corey said that he would get me some boxes from work, but I am still on an independent search for boxes. I mean I work in half of a factory, I SHOULD be able to find some great boxes. I just stuck a little note on this big stack of boxes that I saw in an elevator about to be taken to be recycled most likely, politely asking the ‘owner’ to give me a call. *sighs* Hopefully I will hear from them a little after lunch.
Note on above: I tend not to rely on people, because I know just how unreliable some people are, and how easily some people tend to shrug off ‘favors’ they have said they would do for someone else. So anytime I ask someone for a ‘favor’ (except my mom) I have secondary plans in motion just in case they fall through. If they don’t, I can always throw away some extra boxes, but if I do get left in the lurch, I won’t totally be assed out. Part of my pessimism showing.
I was supposed to start a new pack of pills on Sunday, and I haven’t. I don’t feel much different, though I did have a dream this morning in which there was a distinct scene of me slobbing Corey down, so that is a good sign. I haven’t called the doc yet either – work has been hectic, but I will do so. I never called him to talk about the results of my latest pap either, so I can kill two birds with one stone. I have researched and researched and there basically seem to be four different kinds of birth control. 1) Hormones – the pill, Norplant, Depo, Lunaire 2) Barrier – Condom( girl and guy), Diaphragm, Sponge, Foam… 3) for lack of a better word – ‘Devices’ – Chasitity Belts, IUD’s and the like, and the last kind 4) Dangerous/Unrealistic(for me) – Pulling out, Fertility Awareness methods, abstinence.
Hormones are out. I really don’t like taking them, and it seems that no matter what kind I take (I have been on three different kinds, a tri-cyclic, a low dose tri-cyclic and a mono-phasic) I end up not having sex cuz I don’t want to anyhow. Forced abstinence is a bit much for me. I’ll be damned if I get something stuck in me that I will HAVE to live with for long periods of time. Nope uh-uh. When I got pregnant before it was with a condom, so my security with that method is nil, I just don’t trust diaphragms (how do you know the stupid thing is covering EVERYTHING??) and I would use up a bottle of foam at a time (and what if his are some really tenacious wrigglers?) and sponges cost too much. Less than a child, yes, but still…and as for group 4 – I might as well just get pregnant and be done with it. So… that leaves me with the IUD. Mind you, I was conceived ‘around’ an IUD…but that WAS 25 years ago. I hope (pray…) that the IUD’s are better now. So…*sighs* I hate having stuff poked that far into me. It hurts. *grins* But as I’m sure Cyndi would say, ‘Labor feels worse!’ So…

Ummm… I have decided to borrow 100 bucks from my mom, just in case to tide me over if Gio’s surgery costs more than I expected it to. *sighs* If if if… bitching does no good though does it? I could have asked Corey for the cash… but as he still owes me 45.00 bucks for a damn phone bill *rolls eyes* I don’t want to have any monetary interactions with him. umph. And I sure as heck don’t want to be beholden to him in that kind of way. Is that sad? I’m not sure…we have very different ideas on how to handle money soo….it makes life easier. At least my life.
Anything else? Work has been….interesting lately. Hectic in a stressful kind of way, but not really in a ‘pressed –for –time’ kind of way. It’s odd. It’s stress based on conflict between what people want and what can truly be provided, rather than a conflict between what is needed and the amount of time we have to do that in. I think I like the time stress more.
I’m tired. Tired tired tired. I (stupidly) stayed up until 2am Sunday talking to Corey about ‘us’. If anyone has watched Sex and the City… I totally sympathize with Samatha – “I’m so SICK of talking!!’ . Anyway…I have been on the go since then, leaving the house around 6:30 am and not getting back until around 10:00 pm because of driving class, and then having to do whatever in the house and then drag my ass to bed. I’m wiped. And then they want me to come into work later tonight so that I can restore the system because most of our test data got corrupted yesterday. *sighs* Hopefully I’ll be home by 10:00 tonight. Hopefully. Last night I was talking to my mom about the money, and I was so tired while looking for the ATM card that I felt like crying. *sighs* Lack of sleep makes me an evil evil person. And Corey assumes that it is something to do with him. *rolls eyes* Mercy, can’t I have an attitude without him thinking that it is a personal reflection on ‘us’??

Stay Jazzed

It's crashing down around me...

Man…. I knew things were going bad on the project I work on, but I didn’t think it would all start coming down around our ears. Most of the team had gone upstairs to the café (which was odd as the food is notoriously NOT all that good…and expensive) and we were lounging a bit after finishing lunch. Then the three consultants who work with us came upstairs as well. A few seconds later, one of the team members came up and told us that part of the ceiling in our team room had exploded. We didn’t think it was THAT big of a deal, but after coming downstairs and actually SEEING what had happened… my goodness. The ceiling fell in right over the consultants’ desk. Scaryyy…..so they have kicked us out of the team room, and we are sitting out in the hallway in cubicles. Yeech. Talk about NO privacy… I don’t like having people be able to look over my shoulder. The thought of having to reduce the little bit (yeah right) of OD’ing that I do is ugly!!

Anyhow… me and Cheffy had a nice long talk at last last night. *sighs* I think things will be better, but I’m still holding back for sure on that point. Damn it… forget it. I’mma call him Corey… it’s a lot easier on my head. *sighs* The only thing that soured the night was that he didn’t want to spend the night unless we had sex. *rolls eyes* Men.

My head hurts. I hope there is no asbestos in the ceiling tiles…that would suck.

On the moving front: One of my co-workers told me that you can call The Church of Latter-Day saints and they will move you for free…all they ask is that you buy them lunch. :) I think I can swing that without too much of a problem. So that seriously reduces my overhead, which is good considering I DO have to pay the last months worth of rent in the expensive place, and I have to pay the pro-rate for the cheaper place. *sighs* I think I might change Gio’s surgery to just be neutering rather than neutering and declawing… it will be a little cheaper I’m thinking. *sighs* What I forgot about was the fact that they cash the security deposit check rather than just holding on to it until the end of the lease. *sighs* If I just had another week everything would be much much easier. Ah well…can’t bitch over spilled milk eh?

Stay Jazzed.

Lock me up and put me away...

I am officially certifiable. Why you ask? I am going to try to move in 3 weeks. Yup… three weeks. *sighs* I’m demented. Why do I plan on doing this…because it would save me a months rent at the higher rate…and I’ll be damned if I don’t take advantage of that fact. I’ll be moving over the weekend of the Fourth. *sighs*
I’m going to the office today to give them the rest of the deposit and the pet deposit, and then I am going to go and look at the place one more time (not as if I could weasel out of it now) just to get another grasp on anything that I will have to hammer out.
The issues will be actually MOVING…and the money issues. If I could just have until the 15th of next month everything would be peachy. *snorts* We are going to have to talk about that fact.

*grins* But I’m happy… and much more relaxed now that I know I am DONE DONE DONE.

At least with the apartment….

Stay Jazzed.

The hunter goes forth.

Well…I THINK I might have found an apartment that I like. I’m gonna do a pro/con list for it:

Pro:
Hardwood floors
Heat is paid
Close to downtown
525.00
On busline
Good water pressure
‘Character’!

Con:
Have to move in earlier than I planned
On a busy street
Kinda smallish
No central air
No balcony


I think the two lists kinda balance out, so I’m not going to worry about it… (much). I have 3 places to look at tomorrow, one on Monday, and one on Tuesday. If I don’t see anything in that group that I like, I will go for this place…I think. If I have to move early, it will be a bit more of a headache because I won’t have a car/license and so I will either have to pay someone to do it or rely on someone else do help me out. Ugh…I am really such an independent cuss. *sighs* The other places are more expensive…so this place realllly might win out. I’m going to leave here early and go get the passport stuff done, then I am going to go to this other place that I haven’t been able to get in contact with anyone, but the place SOUNDS nice so I want to swing by and see what is up with it. Hmm… even though I have given a deposit (just to hold the place) I’m suspending a decision for a bit.

I didn’t realize that I would be shopping while I was in the throes of PMS… so I am going to have to be just disgusting analytical about the places to be sure that I’m not jumping into someplace emotionally. Also, I do think that I will take a 6 month lease…if offered, just so that I can browse around and see what else is available. Of course, it will suck to have to move twice in a short period of time, but I want to find a really nice place for me that will be as homey as possible. What WON’T suck is paying 420 dollars less for rent every month. That’s a car payment, insurance and utilities. *happy grin*

Um. I guess I should do some work now. Huh.

Stay Jazzed.