Excuse me while I Vomit.

It was a waste of time for me to eat lunch today, because I messily vomited when I read the last series of emails from AG and Papi.

He is trying to say that I should have known that they were in a relationship from reading his diary, and that fact most likely wouldn’t have stopped me anyway. Last year, that would have been true, I didn’t give a fuck. This year, no…sex & love aren’t that fucking casual for me anymore.

She is saying that I am in a state of delusion, where love has me blind. I am, and I cannot lie and pretend not to be. But with each email that she sends me, the disgust and revulsion grows.

I can’t take it anymore. I can’t let my heart be played with. I really don’t even give a fuck whether she thought they were in a relationship…that is a mind thing, and there is no proof of that but her words (which my stupid heart may try to convince me to doubt). But the sex, the emails, the phone calls referred to in the emails, I am sick. A month… one fucking month and he was cheating on me already.
Emotional infidelity is so much worse than physical infidelity because you can never fix your mouth to say, “She didn’t mean anything to me”. Phone sex, is just as sexual as sticking your dick in somebody. Salacious emails, are just as damning as the best of voice taps.

And the fucked up thing is…the only thing he is denying is the fact that they were in a relationship…everything else manages to slide by and get avoided.

excuse me…. I think I am going to be sick again.