Aura Magic

There is something really peaceful and secure about hanging out with gay men. I always feel like…a whole creature around them. If I was the only woman in a room full of straight men, there would always be that palpable sexual imbalance that puts me slightly on edge. Around gay men though,,, it isn’t there, I feel like a whole person…. one who is not just a woman, but at the same time is without a doubt a woman. * smiles* I can’t help feeling anything but secure in myself around them, and perhaps that is sad that it takes basically an almost total lack of sexual desire in order for me to feel totally secure…but at the same time I have a desire to be viewed as a sexual person. *shrugs * I just know that being told that I am a cool person to me is on of the greatest compliments possible. *smiles * It’s like being told that you have a beautiful aura...it’s an appreciation of something that is totally based on WHO you are, not what you look like, or how much money you make, or what you wear….It’s a compliment that touches the deepest parts of who I really am… and it makes me feel beautiful, even if that wasn’t the intention of the compliment giver. Being told that I am pretty is so much shallower to me, simply because it is. That is one of the first things anyone notices about you, what you look like,.. and being complemented on something that is just sooooo damn obvious is like.. *shrugs * I don’t know….being told that a Hershey’s bar is chocolate. *laughs * Maybe what it really means is that most of the time I have no doubt about my attractiveness, but I do have doubts about my personality.

Ah well… my friend seems to be having some internet connection issues, so I don’t know if I will be able to post this today, but I will give a good old fashioned try…

Stay Jazzed.