Quest

I'm on a quest - a journey that is perilous with dangers, steep drops, and long backslides. I'm on a trip to be a size 8.

Yup - none of that 'I want to be healthy' or 'My doctor told me so' here. Well, maybe a little of the 'I want to be healthy' but since I already AM disgustingly healthy, it's not much of a goad to drop the poundage.

However - being a size 8 - now THAT's a goad. I'm not quite sure why I picked a size 8...but it simply sounds right. It's the biggest single digit number (so perhaps that's why - it feels at least barely reachable) and it's shaped rather like me - round on top, round on the bottom, and nicely cinched in in the middle.
And yes - maybe it's a little bit because in American society an 8 is still considered a bit on the plump side - but at least you aren't shunted off to the 'womens' sizes (where women = 53 with 2 grandkids, lots of cats and gray/blue hair) anymore. It might be a wee bit because of the fact that my bestfriend (who at her smallest was a ten) still looked a little chunkier than my ideal - and we have almost the same body type. It might be simply because I have NEVER been an 8 - I went from little girls clothes to misses 13/14 almost overnight, and I want to know what being an 8 feels/looks like.

So far - I've been working towards that goal for the past 6 months. I'm now an 18 (which while it CONTAINS the number 8 - ain't where I want to be) from a 22 - so yes, there has been progress. But it's not nearly as much, nor nearly as fast as I wanted it to be.

And - at this six month point (even though I'm no where near the end) I find myself losing focus. I eat things that I KNOW are not good for me or my goals. I've started to avoid exercise like it's the plauge. I jsut don't have that clarity of vision that I've had before - and I'm *shudder* starting to see a few pounds creep back on.

So. Exercise is my first and primary priority. I know that I can fudge a bit with my eating if I exercise, and honestly - I LIKE exercising. Lifting weights is fun. The elliptical machine (while it IS an instrument of torture) is still fun. It's a challenge. It's something I KNOW that I can master and overcome and it's a big fat challange that is sitting there and that will be fabulous once I get over the hump but DAMN that initial hump is soooo very big.

So.

The quest has begun!