Work

I don't like to work. It's a rather simple fact that most people (at least my older coworkers) can't seem to understand. The only - and I do mean ONLY - reason that I come to this job every day (and even almost on time) is because I NEED THE MONEY.

There are things that I would much rather do with my life (like be a midwife) but that simply don't provide enough of a cash flow to cover my needs. And no, I'm not a extravagant designer wearing, credit card running up, jetsetting kinda woman. I'm simple. I buy my clothes from Value City. I read books for entertainment. I own a used car. I LIKE finding great deals, and I'm stingy.

Right now I've been working at the same company for almost 3 years (I got hired straight out of college which is SUCH a blessing) and I'm being 'groomed' to work on another project within my team. I don't think I've ever felt quite so empty-headed in my life. And if there is anything that makes me feel insecure - it's NOT knowing. Then, I also feel rather guilty. I feel like I SHOULD know (or at least have a CLUE) about some of the things that are being talked about - but instead I'm drawing a blank. I have to sit in meetings, open-eyed/eared and closed mouth feeling like the local village idiot sponge.

It's hard for me to remember that I felt EXACTLY this stupid and unprepared when I started working here - and that EVERYONE who works here had to go through that same stupid period. The secret is to try and make it through with the least amount of dumb questions asked (unless it's one-on-one) and the most amount of information understood.

*sigh* The Learning Curve is a bitch.

But - back to work.