*thunk* *thwack* *slapslap*

I still don't have an offical altar - as of today. 

But lately - as in the last two weeks or so, I've been getting firmer and Firmer and FIRMER slaps upside the head that it's HIGH time that I put my altar together.  

The housewarming - which was meh - kicked off some of it.  I'm never sure if it's coencidence or the Gods - but over the last few weeks, I've found  - 
a) 2 god houses
b) a perfect table for my altar (which I was considering making into a sewing table - and within the next TWO days, found TWO other actual sewing cabinets - one WITH a sewing machine still in it)
c) ancestor pictures (my great gramma, and my Nikki)
d) various small bowls/items perfect to hold offerings ( a tiny bowl from the thrift store, as well as the perfect incense holder/incenses from BigLots as well as a symbol for my mother) 
e) figured out altar clothes (both that i had purchased recently, but planned on wearing, and as I looked at them again, realized - HELLO?!?!? altar cloth!) 


And just in general - shit has been coming together in a way that to me says - it's time. Hello? Is anyone listening? It's TIME. 

And it's very scary, because I'm pretty sure that Ma'at was only my introduction (she was bait) and the switch is coming soon, and while I think that I can HANDLE the switch, I'm not sure that I'm READY for the switch. 

But then, I don't think that there has been anything that I REALLY needed (not wanted, but deep, below my own consiousous awarenesss NEEDED - the hands of the gods) that I've been ready for.  I've always appraoched change with a 'toes in the water' type of attitude - and I have always felt like anything moving any faster is basically shoving me into the deep end - no matter how minor. 

I'm being gently nudged towards the deep end now, and I  don't even  have the knowledge to be aware of what the deep end IS. I'm trying (very very very hard) to just relax and assume that whatever the deep end is, I'll learn what I need to know (or be thwacked on the head with the knowledge or discover the knowledge as I do other thins (like the Sacred Womens Healing Circle that is suppsosed to kick off tomorrow) and go with the flow. 

My logical side is saying that the Gods don't work this way (that the Gods are a human creation to allow us to understand and integrate with the All that is - well, it's the ALL.) but my other side - the softer, nesting, gardening, creepily hippy/pagan/amazingly confident/earth grounded/ side - is saying - DUH!!!  The gods are nudging you! Nudging! The Gods DO communicate with everyone that they really want to talk to - not just one dude who shares with everyone else. 

But that makes me feel too special. Too unique. Too much outside of the norm.

And it's scary.
And delightful. 
And different. 
And Wonderful.
And I'm SO not ready. 
But I'm moving on. 

I wonder what kind of stain I should get for the altar?