Bitter

I LOVE Me'Shell NdegeOcello . She's got a voice out of this world, and can play the bass like nobodys business...AND she's a hot bald woman. Her *thinks* 3rd album was called Bitter and that has been what I've been listening to (when I don't actually have the radio on) all weekend. It fits the feelings of helpless misrey I've been dealing with.

Eh. Sometimes I feel like it's rather stupid of me to care - almost ridiculous for me to see the sight of a city of 5 million being strafed and burning and feel a twinge of horror for the people who live - and hopefully did not die there.
I have a hard time trying to make my words of protest understandable as words of support for the troops. I admire/respect/pity the men and women who are fighting over there. I admire them because they have what must be the hardest job on earth - consiously killing others. I respect them because they can come back home and turn WHATEVER it is that allows them to kill off, and be calm, humane, productive parts of society. I pity them, because they are part of a battle that has nothing to do with 'defending' our shores, against a country that is 50% children, and against a treacherous dictator who has no problem massacring his own. I support our troops - I support their right to live and to be with their families and thus I am against this war. I don't blame them for where they are - they are soldiers, which inherently means they have no right to question their orders. I understand how they got there - I've thought about joining the military but realized that the free school and the GI Bill would mean jack all after I was court martialed for going AWOL the first time I was expected to kill.
I blame the so-called 'leaders' of our country - those men who never HAD to face the thought of killing another man and then returning to their normal lives. I blame them for EVERY death - Iraqi and American and British and Australian. I blame them for not trying something different. I blame them for not being STRONG enough to decide to assasinate Saddam rather than waging a war that is about as legal as assasinating him would be. I blame them for all of the vet's who will return to rocky lives, rocky marriages, a rocky economy and the awareness of the blood on their hands that will forever be buried in their psyche .

So - sometimes I'm a little bitter when I hear "We can't critize the President because we have to support our troops". Nothing I can say is going to make them feel better about what they are FORCED to do - but perhaps something I say can convince those who ARE forcing them to fight and die to bring them home and persue other avenues of 'regime change'.
I get downright aggravated when I read editorials about how some people have no right to protest because they've never fought. I start to get a little pissed off when people try to tell me that by protesting I'm disrespecting the memory of all the men & women who have died to GIVE me the right to protest. I simply cannot understand what web of idiocy has been draped over those peoples minds. How can they NOT understand that standing silent when I am in disagreement with my government would be the greatest form of disrespect I could possibly show those brave people? I am going to honor the memory of those who have gone before by exercising the right they DIED for. I am going to honor the soldiers who are currently putting their lives on the line by demanding that they NOT have to die for whatever spurious 'rationale' Bush & Co. come up with next.

So. I'm bitter about the state of the world today. I'm bitter that America has decided that she can try to run the rest of the world at her own expense. I'm bitter that becaue of our 'brilliant' policy of pre-emptive attack, we have opened the door to far greater atrocities than Saddam could ever commit on his own.

Mostly though, I'm bitter that in a country that is supposedly the bastion of Democracy - the People are being ignored and dismissed, and the Powers that Be don't even have the decency to try to present a compelling, true and convincing argument to support this war. I don't think that is asking for too much - and I don't think that DEMANDING that explanation is anything BUT the highest expression of our patriotic pride.