Blank

I feel oddly blank - empty. I feel like I've been drained of all color (which is NOT as easy thing to do) pressed flat, and propped up to view the suddenly two dimensional world. Tabula Rosa. I've issued a moritorium on television. I watch CNN occasionally, but only on mute with the closed captioning on. Other than that - it's not worth it. I realized that I wrote much more before I started watching TV - I think I was less distracted and more in touch with the writer inside - so I'm going to try to do that again. Also - the moritorium will help be go to bed earlier, as I won't be glued to the set until 11pm/midnight. Also - it grants me some form of peace of mind...very head in the sand yes, but still...

I started cleaning my house yesterday - so far my bedroom and my bathroom are spotless. Corey has to work this weekend, so I will have this weekend to myself (oh! wonderous joy! I love having him here - but not having him here is sometimes nice too...) It's not going to be as nice as it was last weekend - but it will still be pleasant. I should be able to wrap up my spring cleaning.
Yesterday, I went to a career development workshop. One of my friends is rather exasperated with me - quote "Why don't you just quit and run off to write and garden and midwife like you KNOW you want to!!!???" Eh. I'm a big fat wuss, that's why. I'm a big fat wuss with only 500.00 in the savings account that really should be earmarked for something else. And I'm scared. The tests that I'm taking tell me what I already know - but I'm a reader, so seeing it in black & white make it so much more OBVIOUS. Well...baby steps - at least I'm taking them.