Monday, May 16, 2005

Whaaa????

It's Monday ALREADY???? Sheesh - what happened to the weekend??


Saturday, I was quite busy - had to run some errands, (must get patches for C today!) and go to the bookclub meeting.  I really enjoying hanging out with those ladies and talking about the books - I let them rope me into being the secretary for the group, and it's fun - I'm still not totally clear on what my duties are, but hey - it's fun!!


Sunday is officially Me & C's day - since it's the only day we have off together (he's off today, but clearly, I'm at work!) so we just slept in, grilled, played a couple of games - general houselovey fun. 


Our garden is doing sooooo well!! Almost everything has spouted/growing - I'm going to have having to thin them - they all look so vibrant. Somethings been nibbling on our plants already, so we stirred up some organic pesticide (garlic, onion, cayenne pepper and soap) and sprayed the plants - hopefully that will 'scare' off the bugs.  These are for US, not ya'll - stay away, stay away!!


I installed SIMS (I've got the double deluxe pack - I want to get the Making Magic expansion pack) but I haven't played it yet - we got involved in playing Yu-Gi-Oh instead.


Ahh! Lunch time!! Free barbeque today - yayyy!!

postweekend rambles

It's been a good weekend - had sex AGAIN - spontaneous, right before he went to work. It was fun - quick, easy, and I tormented him a little afterwards (thank YOU, Dr. Kegel!!) I think I must be ovulating, because I've used by vibrator almsot everynight before I go to sleep. I'm a naughty girl - my favorite fantasy is most likely one of the least socially acceptable ones, and my second favorite involves exhibitionism. Years ago, I said if I ever lost enough weight, I would most likely get a parttime job stripping. Heaven knows I've got the boobs & ass for it - if I could only get rid of me tummy.


What else? I've started the hunt for a girlfriend - yes, I know it sounds odd since I have a low(er) libidio, but I really think that part of it is because I AM bisexual - no shadow of a doubt there, and if I only express half of my libidio, I repress the whole of my libidio - it's actually been really fun - and I figure I'll have a better chance of finding a woman who is interested in me AND my hubby quicker if I just look on my own rather than as a couple. I've actually MET one girl already - she is in my bookclub, and we actually met online - and it took us a day or so to realize that we had already met earlier - had no clue that the other swung that way either. We are supposed to meet this weekend - I'm SO excited, and I hope she feels the same way. She's a virgin - so THAT's going to be interesting, but - I think it'll be cool - even if we don't hit it off sexually, I think that I might have discovered a running partner. She's a bit older than me - but based on her attitude, you wouldn't guess it.


I'm getting involved in a lot of other things too - I'm the admin for our bookclub, I'm doing the lifepath training, I'm a moderator of one of the bi yahoogroups in Memphis - what else? Work - of course! Putting together our house (naturally!) but - I'm not going to let all of the good/happy/wonderful feelings/things that I'm doing let me convince myself that I shouldn't still go to therapy - it's going to be interesting talking to this lady - I'm going to have to feel her out - because I don't care how 'objective' a therapist is supposed to be, there's always the likelihood that her own opinions on the 'proper' relationships won't match mine - and I'm sorry - I DON'T know what my issues are, but being bi is most certainly not one of them. Being interested in a poly marraige isn't one of them either - and I'd be damned if someone tries to pin my issues on that. *sigh* Accept me for the whole woman that I am, mmkay?


I've always noticed that I work better in 3's than I do in couples - for example, if it's just me & another person talking - I tend to be shy/reserved - but get me around two or more people, and a whole nother bubbly, social, talkative as HELL side comes out. My image a perfect relationship/living situation has always been a commune along the lines of what Friday had from Robert Heinlien's book Friday. A large marriage group, with everyone responsible for raising the children, for supporting the family as a whole, in a big ass house on a couple of acres of land. Basically, a commune. I should run that idea past C and see what he thinks - I'm so cool with the concept of multiple wives/husbands - even if all the wives AREN'T bi - it's more about the concept of an extended, reliable, loving familyunit than it about the sex.

Friday, May 13, 2005

Picture Requests - Part One

Wow - you guys asked for a LOT of pictures..... I think I'll be able to get everything, except the picture of my favorite meal by C - he's working now, and it's going to be hard to get him to cook ANYTHING at home for a while..... but - with no further ado!!!


show your favorite place in you home and why....[Half Baked]


This is the view(s) from my chair on the patio - a lovely sky & tree view - and a fence high enough so I can stroll out side in me draws. This question was almost a tie - but I figured I liked the patio more than the bed. :)

The back yard patio


your desk and workspace at your office; maybe even a pic of the bldg? [Sweet Magnolias]


My lovely desk - the computer has my notes screen (yes, I'm a closet note 'ho), the big purple cup is my 32oz of water...the colorful stuff on the wall are the various calendars/landscapes and other dately crap I have to keep up with. The white stuff is legal paper I put on the cube wall as a whiteboard substitue - I NEED my whiteboard!



The continuation of my desk - more of my 'whiteboard' and the two pictures on the side are a print of my favorite wedding picture, and the girls from my old job. *sniff* I miss my girls. And really, I didn't straighten up my desk at all!


This is the outside of the building - the way I come in, which is the backside, as our section of the building is ALLLLL the way in the back. We also have a VERY convienent FedEx box....and no, I'm never lucky enough to get one of the GOOD parking spots. There's just something WRONG about getting to work before 7:00am.


your book collection! [Stealth Bombshell]


Okay - these are pictures of the main library upstairs. Those - colorful things on top of the one bookcase are BlueEyes White Dragon, and Exodio the Forbidden One - two Yu-Gi-Oh figurines of C's. The little bookcase in the middle is the one we got from Pottery Barn.
If you can tell, all of the books on top of the bookcase without the Egyptian Gods *rolls eyes* are stacked four across and three deep - and the shelved themselves are stacked two deep on both bookcases. In fact - the WHOLE bookcase on the left is all my paperback sci-fi/fantasy books. The bookcase in the middle holds the hardback ones.


This is the second set of books - and those are the bookcases we got from PierOne. Those are most of the non-fiction books, and the top three shelves of the bookcase on the right are all of my doula/midwifery books, along with a few of the itty bitty books I've collected. THe door in the middle leads to our bathroom(s). The one on the side closest to the library is mine.
And yes, that is a Scarface movie poster above the bookcase. *shakes head*



And this is the library books collection - I have to keep these separate, otherwise I'd be banned from the library in short time. I actually need to go around the house and round the rest of them up, as all of those sheleves should be full. In the corner in front of the TV, you can see a bit of the other cabinet we got from PotteryBarn for the videos, and that black thing is the front of the fireplace. *grin* If you look closely, you can see The Jetsons on TV. I heart Boomerang.


Your vehicle - from the driver's perspective. [Principassa Pollyana]


I'm short, so all I really can see is the steering wheel! *LOL* And I would have taken a picture of the whole car, but it's so dirty, I'd be ashamed to show it. The fence in front is atthe front of the house, and theres actually enough room to fit the car in there, but opening and closing that gate every morning would REALLY be a headache. There is a SUPER cheap gas station near work (the latest is 1.94!!) which is why the gas tank is so wonderfully full.


This is the middle panel - that's my frog prince that C won out of one of those machines for me when we first started dating. He's holding a little heart that says 'Kiss Me' *giggles* The ring around his ankle is one of C's ring I jacked a long time ago. He's lost enough weight that it doesn't fit him anymore, so the Prince get's to keep it. And of course, a bottle of water. Oh! You can see Miss Elizabeth, our neighbors house out the front window too.


Your makeup. I'm always curious to see what beauty products people use! [Cinderella] & [Bellisa]


*LOL* I wear makeup when I'm going out (and I mean seriously OUT on the town - I didn't even wear makeup for our anniversary dinner) and when I wear it, it's usually just eyeliner, eyeshadow, and lipstick. All that said - here's the makeup collection. If you couldn't tell - I LOVE M.A.C. Love it! The only reason I have brushes is because the nice lady at the M.A.C. counter talked me into buying them - and I HAVE to admit, it really does make a difference in the application. But let's see - concelaer, eyeshadow, pressed powder, foundation, eyeliner, lipliner, lipstick, more eyeshadow , and mascara (which I've used like twice - I'm sure it's old enough that I need to throw it out by now). I have more brushes - like five or six, but I didn't feel like dumping them all in the sink. :)


The only thing that I use on my face daily is a castor oil/olive oil/vitamin E oil mix. I got the idea from [Babyslime] who first turned me on to the Oil Cleansing Method. It sounded TOTALLY off the wall to me at first, but I think I've used soap on my face MAYBE once or twice since January - and I haven't put lotion of anykind on my face at all. I need to stir up a new batch this weekend too - I've got about enough left for just this weekend. My skin looks better than it EVER has - smooth, rarely get pimples, and when I do, I 'clean' my face, and they usually pop right out and are totally gone by the next day. I also had REALLLLLY had flakes on my skin from where it just dried out - those are totally gone too - and nope, my face isn't oily at all. It's weird, but it WORKS - and it's cheap as HELL.
The Taco Bell cup is my bedtime water cup. Damn, I drink a lot of water.


Actually, I do want to see your cats. [Thunder Road]

Okay - it was HARD getting good pictures of these two, they liked closing their eyes just as the camera snapped.
This is Giovanni, more affectionately know as FatBastard. If you can't tell how big he is, he weighs 19 pounds. He looks even bigger, as he's a long THICK haired cat. I joke that I could shave him and make a sweater....maybe two. He's outside on the patio - another reason why I love it - I can let them be outside with no worries.


This is Nikki - or StupidCat (or Shortbus Kitty). I wrote an entry about HIS adventure the first day in our house a while ago. He hates other cats with a passion, and there's this cute little girlcat (she's too little to be a boy) that hangs around outside the window and drives him batty. Considering how much of a fraidycat he REALLY is, it's actually kinda funny. He acts like he's half dog though - as SOON as he gets outside, he flops down and rolls around to collect as many bits of leaves, dirt and other crap in his fur as possible. He's my cuddly dingbat though. And as you can tell - he's MUCH slimmer than G - a mere 13 pounds.


I have TWO requests- your FAVORITE pair of shoes.......[~Bella~] (Bella's other request was the makeup - check out the previous entry)


*grins* I need to go shoe shopping BADLY, so while these are my favorite shoes, they actually aren't the shoes I wear the most often. One pair is too casual, and the other pair is WAYYY too dressy - I call them my Hot-Momma Shoes. *raawwwrrr*
These are my hot momma shoes - on the edge of the ledge upstairs. That black thing they are so artfully propped up on is my Abercizer - which has been peacefully collecting dust for a while now. I can't remember where I got these from - there NineWest, but I think I got them from ValueCity.


And these are the casual shoes - sooooo damn comfy. And they're black! and PINK! eeeeeeee!!!! *goes all gooshy eyed* And I actually have a running suit (HAH!) outfit that matches these perfectly. I brought these for a 'traveling' trip before one of my trips to Geneva - gotta look cute while I'm on the plane, ya know. And I learned my lesson about wearing heels on an international flight the time I had to run from one end of the terminal to the other at Charles De Gaulle - the worst airport in the world. Ugh. That cord next to them is leading from the closet upstairs, over the ledge, and hooked up to the cable modem. I need to call my landlord and find out when the HELL he's going to install our wireless. Sheesh.


[~Steel Magnolia~] had all of the following requests......


A picture of the infamous and no longer leaking waterbed.


Oh. My. God. I don't think I've gushed (so to speak) properly about the new watebed - but it's HEAVENLY. I mean, I knew waterbeds were hot, but this one is the shit. Seriously. It's got some sort of pillowtop thingy that fills with water, and it's SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO damn comfy. Ingore the hideously unmatched sheets (we need new waterbed sheets BADLY) and the general unmade state of the bed and messy condition of the room. That's C's side of the upstairs, so all that stuff on the floor are his clothes. Not that I can talk, as there are clothes on the floor on my side too - if you take a close look at the bookcollection pictures - yeah, I need to wash. I don't know what the heck that white thing is on the bottom of the bed - and yes, our bed is the only furniture in the bedroom. We need nightstands, but haven't found any we are both pleased with yet. We don't have dressers either - it's sad.


Your reading space (unless it is the above mentioned bed).


Nah - the only time I read in bed is if I'm reading myself to sleep, or waiting for C to come upstairs (*grin* have I mentioned how much I LOOOOOVEEEEE our waterbed???) My favorite reading space is our only piece of furniture currently in the living area - the futon. Hmm.... I think it's actually my oldest piece of furniture. This picture was taken from the steps coming downstairs (have I mentioned that I LOVE our house too??) Let's see - the big purple thing is the futon - the laptop is there in front of it - and our 'coffee table' Why we still use the trunk when we have a PERFECTLY nice glass topped coffeetable (over in the corner by the wall o windows) that we could use. As yes, it's a mess - but it's mostly papers. That black box on the coffee table is our WONDERFUL Black NagChampa that came in the mail today - the place almost smells like home again. The cat bed that G never uses (he's too fat to fit comfortably in it) is against the back wall. The TV is in front of the couch too - so it's just perfect. That big gray thing is the only remaining piece of our old furniture - it was all that color, and over the years got INFESTED with cathair. I love em, but ick.


And, the freezer compartment of your fridge.


Let's see - ice holder, ice tray (to replenish the ice holder) a hunk of steak waiting for the grill, some lovely hot pork sausage, a shaker (with ice) ready to make drink (yes, we STAY prepares) and ice cream (it's no Sugar Added!!! Really!!) More meeat - Italian sausage and ribs, I think....some Liqour (I need to make a run this weekend - that little bit of Curenta y Tres ain't gonna last long) and our oversized spices - to keep em fresh, ya know?


And on the door - See!! We do have veggies!! Brocolli, Spinach, and a poor bag of green beans on top. There's a plastic shot glass in there too (gotta measure the alcohol right) and some butter I got when it was on sale. I don't DO margerine. I don't care how low in cholesterol it is - I'd really rather go without. We really do need to go grocery shopping though - that's kinda light, even for us. I have to admit though, we eat more fresh produce than we do frozen.


~~QP asked me what my favorite place in Memphis is so far - and without a doubt - it's home.

This is the 'front' of the house - that gleaming eyed blob at the front door is G, wondering why the hell I haven't fed him yet. Our bed is between those two windows upstairs, and the window downstairs is the kitchen window.


This is the house as it faces the street - that little 'roof' over there is the patio - and as you can see, not only do we have a high ass fence, there's also a huge bush there too - SOOOOO wonderfully private. That's the Silver Streak in the driveway - I have no clue why it looks like the reverse lights are on. And while it doesn't LOOK like we have any windows, the whole other side of the house - the one next to the patio, is a wall of ceiling to floor windows downstairs, and upstairs there's a HUGE window over the open portion of the loft, and then a single window in the library.



Whooo!!! Thanks for all of your requests ladies - that was actually rather fun!!! Now I'm off to torture myself by installing SIMS back onto my computer. *shakes head*



let the hunt begin!!!

I am, if nothing else, a very deliberate person.  So, in this three week long search for a swimsuit, there are certain things that I would like to have.  If I can find all of these things - I'll snatch it up in a heartbeat.


1) The top has to go by BRA size - I'm a 38/40DDD, and dammit, I need the support - those damn 'shelf' bras don't do a damn thing for me. And why, why, must plus size women's swimwear come with ATTACHED 'padding'. I can understand it being there, but at least make it DETACHABLE.  
2) Boy panty bottoms - I went looking for a picture, but couldn't find one, but I did find that the real name is 'boyshorts'.  They are comfy, and they actaully are the cutest little things for my booty and belly.
3) Cute. As in attractive. As in, I'm 28, and I don't want my swimsuit to be anything my grandmother would even CONSIDER wearing - yet at the same time, I don't wanna have to worry about the girls making a break for freedom.
4) I suspect that this will be kinda optional/end up getting thrown out the window - under 100 bucks. Please?


Hmm...all together, I figure I'll HAVE to get a two piece tankini set - simply for the boy bottoms. I'd actually like the top to be sports bra styled, because if I going to be doing some serious swimming, I'm going to need the freedom of movement.....and.......sturdy. Okay, yeah - the last 'real' swimsuit I got was cheap as hell, but that's still no excuse for the strap to pop (see item #1).


My last set of swimsuit(s) were actually created out of desperation - I was going to the Dominican Republic in a little under two weeks, it was the middle of August, and I NEEDED to take more than one swimsuit.  After nearly crying in one 'speciality' swimsuit store (I found a lovely swimsuit that cost TWO HUNDRED AND EIGHTY dollars) I finally threw up my hands, took my tail to Victorias Secret, brought three bras (the current ABSOLUTE favorites in fact) and three sets of matching tank tops and boyshorts, and matching thongs (to go UNDER the boyshorts in case of an 'accident' cuz ain't NOBODY I'm not married to seeing THAT much of my ass), and 130 dollars later, left VS a happy lady. Of course, as the fabric wasn't DESIGNED to be a swimsuit, they just lasted the week and a half of the trip - I still wear the bras and the bottoms, but after all the salt and the chlorine, the tanktops are a little worse for wear.  I'm actually considering getting a maternity swimsuit - as I was leaving the mall from VS, I remember seeing them and noticing that they DID have 'real' bras in them, but hmmmm.....my belly isn't THAT big.


I swear though, if I could find them in the right fabric (ie, not cotton!) I would just do that again. It was SOoooooooo easy...and cheap.


 

eeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've been in a gloriously floaty mood all day....no clue why considering I woke up as my usual evil, grumpy, why-the-hell-is-it-8am-already self, yet by the time I got to the car and starting singing my way to work - I was just plain old happy. Giddy, I just won the lottery (okay maybe not THAT happy) but just genereally cheerful.
Got to work, slammed a good 5 hours of work out (and considering it's FRIDAY that's damn near a miracle) and now, it's RAINING!!! And yes, that's an expression of joy.  I've firmly decided that without a doubt, early summer is my favorite season. I actually LIKE humidity, the sun being hot is a blessing from the heavens above, and a summer thunderstorm is just the cherry on top of a lovely day.  Yes, I'm an odd child, I like thunderstorms, tornados, hurricanes, the whole natural storms thing - natural SUMMER storms I should say. You can keep the blizzards to yourself, thank-you-very-much.


This weekend, I'm planning on cleaning the house (the dust bunnies are frantically multiplying) washing clothes (I'll have to take new pictures of the bookcases AFTER I get rid of the mounds of clothes that are scattered about the room), and finally putting together the planner for the Book Club as I volunteered to be the secretary for the club, buying a swimsuit (or at least start looking).....hmm....I think that's about it.


Umm....dang, got pulled into chatting about stuff with my other verrah bored coworkers and damn - it's only 2:30.


I wanna be out playing in the rainnnn................


And ya know, the fact that it's friday the thirteenth makes it even cooler. :)

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Poem for Cest la Vie

aloneisabadword
itmeansalways
singleinaworldoftwos
itmeanssleepingsolitarywhen
everyoneisintwinbeds
itmeanscoldwhenall
othershaveasharedwarmth
itmeansalwaysoutside
lookinginandknowingthat
youhavetochangetosomething
notyoutobecomeoneofthem
andbeone
yetstillalone
becauseyouarealwaysyou
evenifyouaresomeoneelse
itmeansalwaysangryatyoubecause
youdidnothavethestrengthtostayyou
andhadtobethem
sellingouttobestrongisinitself
aweaknessbecausethereisaseparate
peaceforthosestrongandalone
andthosestronghappytogetherbutnot
themself.
ifIshouldchangeiwoulddie
ofmissingme.


And yes, I hate typing that thing. What POSSESED me to write it like that, I'll never know, but I've always liked it that way.

Swimmingly

For some evil, evil reason, there is a scale in the big women's bathroom at work (as if we don't have ENOUGH to fret about at work - oh yeah, here, see how much you weigh every time you take a leak!!!).  Of course, unable to resist temptation, I clambered my gradually getting plumper ass on it.  Now, while I won't tell you the numbers (suffice it to say it looks like I might as well have never gotten chummy with Dr. Atkins all of three years ago) I was - stunned. Not really shocked, as I know the beast lied, and McDonalds is a curse (damn you FiletofFish - DAMN YOU!) but stunned. STUNNED I tell you. So - I climbed down (it's one of the doctor scales kind too which CLUNKS when you get off just to EMPAHSIZE the weight) and immeadiately retreated to my desk to find the closest Y that offers swimming lessons.  I LOVE the water - love it - love it - but never actually learned how to swim. For the longest time, it was simply the fact that I couldn't SEE in the water - glasses + pool = nerdly mcnerd, and contacts + pool = stupid & painful but as I've had perfect eyes (thank you Mr. Lasik!!) for the last two years, no longer any excuse.  I have no fear of water (which includes going white water rafting twice - as a NON-swimmer with contacts as well as ocean sports like riding a banana boat driven by an insane Dominican who wanted to see the american girls boobs bounce - my best friend is as well endowed as me, but slimmer in the wasit and hips) but I've just never gotten off my slowly spreading ass and learned how to swim. So - it's summer time, and a cool dip in water every few days sounds like a lovely thing.


Therefore, I go to the YMCA of Memphis page, and am presented with a plethora of options.  (ohhh, big word! and spelled right! I think......) but now - which one should I go to?


1) Fogelman YMCA - downtown, 6 minutes from my house. Classes in the evening (I think - I've emailed asking for thier adult swim schedule).  Upsides? 6 minutes from home. downsides - downtown. I shudder to think of the types of traffic drama I'd have to deal with on game nights (as it's right across from the ballpark) or really - any other kind of night in the lovely summer on Beale Street. Besides all of the lovely blond pneumatic types who might frequent it (nothing against blond women! I wanna be blond! Seriously - I'm considering bleaching my hair....but me & the hair thing is a WHOLE nother entry). Me in a bathing suit is bad enough, I don't need (okay want - seeing her might give me some MO-Ti-Vaaaaation) to see perky mcsexy doing laps next to me.


2) Mason YMCA - off of Central, 9 minutes from home. Classes from 7:30 til 8:30, Mon-Thursday, at a most reasonable rate - 85.00 (as a non-member, 55.00 for a member), for two weeks of classes, 4 days a week. Open swim for free for members Tuesday/Thursday evenings, and Saturday & sunday Mornings (I'm actually suprised a ymCa is open on Sunday - esp in the South). Downsides? Umm... 9 minutes from home (yes, that's the lazy heifer side of me peeking out) upsides - NOT downtown, but still close. Convienent times....and the classes start next month. 


Thus giving me enough time to work my way through the largest downside of a swimming class.......... purchasing a bathing suit. (Why'd I call it a bathing suit rather than a swimming suit? hmm... no clue  - Freudian slip of the type of outfit I'd purchase, most likely).  While I utterly heart Tarjay, and their bathing suits, and this is the perfect season (oooh excuses, excuses) I HATE buying them. I've got - almost giganourmus tatas (I shudder to think of the kind/size/price of nursing bras I'll have to purchase at some point in the not-at-all-close future) and a VERY short waist. Most of me is boob and leg, seriously. Sooooo.....buying a swimsuit that 1) supports the girls (there is a limit to how much they'll float) AND 2) isn't ugly - I'm such a spoiled little fashionista and 3) costs LESS than 100 bucks (why is it the items that include the LEAST fabric - swimsuits, bras, underwear - cost the damn most I'll never understand) it's a - frustrating enterprise, to say the least.


But. I've got three weeks to do it. And do it, I shall. I love the water, I won't sweat while I'm swimming (or at least I won't feel it) and it won't stress my fragile little knees and ankles - besides building lovely amounts of shapely musckules.


Besides, if I drink like a fish, I might as well be able to move like one, yes?

*yaawwwnn*

I've decided that anytime I write an entry after lunch, it's going to lean towardst he more grumpy/bored side of things.  Of course, if I wrote an entry before lunch, it would most likely also lean towards to grumpy/bored side of things.  Aren't I just a delight??


I've collected loads of pics of stuff that people want to see - though the fact that TWO of you asked to see my makeup - which i wear about a good three or four times a year - cracks me up - and what's even funnier is the amount I have for a supposedly 'don't wear makeup' person. Most of it I was talked into buying for the wedding (over a year ago) and it barely looks used - thus giving you an idea of how often I actually use it.
Also - my cats don't like the camera. I've got one good picture of G looking like the devil cat incarnate, and a couple of Nikki - but I'm going to try to get a picture of them together. I also want a picture that demonstrates G's utter HUGENESS - any suggestions of what to photograph him next to/under?


Ahhh...ice water. So good.


Hmm....meeting. bleh.

5/12/05

I realized that I don't work well without sleep. Hubby has a new job, and as we only have one car, I'm forced to work my schedule (banking hours) as well as his shift - (late night hours). While driving at night is enourmously relaxing, it also makes me sleepy as hell - which means that by the time we get home, I'm mostly incommunicative, mildy grumpy, and focused on going to BED - to sleep, not to play any hinkypinky business. I think I might have to start taking a nap when I get home from work. I can't wait til he gets a car.


A few morning's ago (or was is yesterday morning?) he woke up hard, and started jerking off in bed. I KNOW I have issues now, because my first gut reaction was 'Ew - why is he playing with that thing? Doesn't he have enough respect to keep such - such activities to himself??' then I started analyzing my reaction - one of the wonderful things about this journal - I'm more aware of my reactions - thus making them subconsious reactions yet I'm consious of it. And of course, you can't fix something you aren't aware of. I laid there for a while - actually NOT pulling away, or rolling over on my back like I usually would, and listened to him pleasing himself while I turned my reaction over in my mind. I thought about it, and about the tenseness in my body, and the almost automatic reactions of 'Ew!' instead of a more normal reaction of 'oooohhh' and - well, I didn't come to any conclusions by the time he came.

And then, to make me feel even MORE guilty (for having that reaction) he moans my name as he comes. I have an amazingly wonderful husband, who's even more amazing because he puts up with me. But I love him - dearly, deeply and truly....and I honestly think that's part of the problem sometimes. I haven't figured out how to integrate real love with raw lust. It seems - wrong somehow to have them both at once...at least in my twisted little mind.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

showoff!!!

Okay, I stole this from Steel who stole it from Stealth.....


I've always wanted to do one of those, but since usually either my computer or camera was dead (or the house was in something very seriously approaching shambles) I never dared. Ask!! plleeeeasssseee??? I'm such a showoff. That's why I put it first - so everyone will see it.




Ok, here's the deal. Ask me to take a picture of anything in my life that you might want to see, and I will do it. Ask to see my house, my town, my car, my feet, my nose, my bed, my trash can, my washer, my toilet, my cats..nothing is off limits (besides the hubby and my bareskin - I'm not THAT much of a showoff. Besides - most of ya'll have seen him!!)
As soon as I get some requests ( If I get any at all!) I will post some lovely pictures. Ask and ye shall receive.
So there it is...request away. Think of the wild, the weird, the strange or the ordinary. Just ask and I shall click.




 




 


 


Heard back from the furniture people - only 375.00 for shipping - which is a HELL of alot less than I expected. And - I noticed that they only chared us for ONE ottoman, when we ordered two. *sshhhhh* Maybe it's a deal of some sort. *nods* Yeah, a deal. And since we requested contrasting colors on them, they KNOW we want two. So, Sweeeet. I need to fill out the info and fax this back to them TODAY. I would like to have it by the time my family comes to visit in July, but that might be cutting it close.


One of my coworkers is leaving them team, and we had a French breakfast for her this morning. There is something wonderfully decadent about walking into work, having fresh warm quiche, berry filled crossaints, and frappachinos.  Of course, I'm now going to alternate between beings tired and hyper all day - but DAMN, was it ever good.


Ah yes... I've been meaning to share this link with all the other cat-owned beings around here - it's utterly HILARIOUS and reminds me of my furry pair on a CONSTANT basis.


See - now I'm sleepily hyper. *bouncesnorebounce*


*sigh* I guess I should do some work.


Seriously - it might SOUND like I never work - but I do. It's just that I tend to get so much done so much faster than it's expected - I have to procrastinate in order to have SOMETHING to do everyday. Now, if I could just take Wednesday-Sunday off, I would NEVER be on OD. Hmm.......


Ah yes. I'm going to get the iPod. No doubt. Will wait till C get's his first check, but the iPod shall be MINE *muauauauahahhhhaaaa* I also need to check and be sure that he doesn't still plan on getting me the shuffle. I have advanced in my greed and want the full model now, dammit. Now - something else that totally rocks - as I was QUITE traumatized to find out that only the MINI's come in colors - and me? carrying an all white iPod? Uh-uh. Goes against all my fashion sense it does - the place here -  makes SKINS for iPods. Skins!! Sexy ones too - artsy and shtuff.  Oooohhh.....puuuuurrrty.