It's been a good weekend - had sex AGAIN - spontaneous, right before he went to work. It was fun - quick, easy, and I tormented him a little afterwards (thank YOU, Dr. Kegel!!) I think I must be ovulating, because I've used by vibrator almsot everynight before I go to sleep. I'm a naughty girl - my favorite fantasy is most likely one of the least socially acceptable ones, and my second favorite involves exhibitionism. Years ago, I said if I ever lost enough weight, I would most likely get a parttime job stripping. Heaven knows I've got the boobs & ass for it - if I could only get rid of me tummy.
What else? I've started the hunt for a girlfriend - yes, I know it sounds odd since I have a low(er) libidio, but I really think that part of it is because I AM bisexual - no shadow of a doubt there, and if I only express half of my libidio, I repress the whole of my libidio - it's actually been really fun - and I figure I'll have a better chance of finding a woman who is interested in me AND my hubby quicker if I just look on my own rather than as a couple. I've actually MET one girl already - she is in my bookclub, and we actually met online - and it took us a day or so to realize that we had already met earlier - had no clue that the other swung that way either. We are supposed to meet this weekend - I'm SO excited, and I hope she feels the same way. She's a virgin - so THAT's going to be interesting, but - I think it'll be cool - even if we don't hit it off sexually, I think that I might have discovered a running partner. She's a bit older than me - but based on her attitude, you wouldn't guess it.
I'm getting involved in a lot of other things too - I'm the admin for our bookclub, I'm doing the lifepath training, I'm a moderator of one of the bi yahoogroups in Memphis - what else? Work - of course! Putting together our house (naturally!) but - I'm not going to let all of the good/happy/wonderful feelings/things that I'm doing let me convince myself that I shouldn't still go to therapy - it's going to be interesting talking to this lady - I'm going to have to feel her out - because I don't care how 'objective' a therapist is supposed to be, there's always the likelihood that her own opinions on the 'proper' relationships won't match mine - and I'm sorry - I DON'T know what my issues are, but being bi is most certainly not one of them. Being interested in a poly marraige isn't one of them either - and I'd be damned if someone tries to pin my issues on that. *sigh* Accept me for the whole woman that I am, mmkay?
I've always noticed that I work better in 3's than I do in couples - for example, if it's just me & another person talking - I tend to be shy/reserved - but get me around two or more people, and a whole nother bubbly, social, talkative as HELL side comes out. My image a perfect relationship/living situation has always been a commune along the lines of what Friday had from Robert Heinlien's book Friday. A large marriage group, with everyone responsible for raising the children, for supporting the family as a whole, in a big ass house on a couple of acres of land. Basically, a commune. I should run that idea past C and see what he thinks - I'm so cool with the concept of multiple wives/husbands - even if all the wives AREN'T bi - it's more about the concept of an extended, reliable, loving familyunit than it about the sex.
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