5/9/05

Had another encounter this weekend - apparently, there's something about done-with-the-gardening-dirty girls that hubby likes - thankfully, our neighbors didn't come peeking over the fence, and our patio furniture didn't collapse. Even more important, the patio has officially been christened! Dang, should have saved some of the champange for that. Twice in under a week? Write this one in the record books boys! It's odd - because this time is was definitely a 'him' initiating it, and - it took me a while (okay - 5 minutes) to decide if I was going to join in. It's interesting looking inside my head at times like that - it wasn't that I WANTED it - but I wasn't averse to it either. So - we had lovely outdoorsy sex. Maybe that's what I should focus on more - not whether I want it or not - but why I'm sometimes averse to it, and sometimes not.

I'm - a juicy girl. (change of subject) - and I don't mean that in the pussy kinda way. I'm - fat. There, I said it. But - I'm fat in all the right places. I've got hips and ass and boobs till all eternity, and I do like all of them thangs - it's just the juiciness in other places that bugs me. The belly. The thighs - though with the hips I've got, the thighs are really part of the package. The general - juiciness of all my juicy. Sometimes, I'm okay with it - hell, most of the time. I've never been 'big' on clothing, and my usual laying about the house outfit is a tanktop and draws. But - sometimes - I - wonder - if my weight has much to do with how - sexy I act/feel/think. I mean - hell, even at my skinniest (which was still fat) I - felt sexy. But - let's just say that I DO have low testosterone - it would kinda make sense that the less body mass I have, the more effective it would be. Also - considering the fact that I get 'revved' from outside attention, the slimmer I am, the more 'attention' I get. That's one of the things I LOVE about the south - hips and ass and boobs (and not in 36-24-36 proportions either) are - more appreciated than they are up North. No clue where I'm going with this really - just - thinking on paper (on screen?) more than anything else.

Actually, I take that back, I do know where I was going. I'm thinking about dieting (ugh!) and exercising (double - no TRIPLE ugh!) again. One of my friends commented on how going to the gym always make him horny, and it was like - hmmm... I wonder if that would work for me. But - gah! Ugh! I need to find either a good club, or a wonderful dance class - which is the only kind of exercise I really enjoy and can see myself doing frequently.

Gah. Meeting. I hate work. Really. I need to be a kept woman. I would have made a WONDERFUL courtesan.