So - I actually took yesterday off, but it sure as hell was no vacation day - I did quite a good bit of running around. One interview/meeting that I went to was with the homebirth midwife here - I'll call her K, and her assistant M.
It was interesting - I got there while she was finishing up with a client, and I sat in the waiting room and listened to her interacting with the mom. *shrugs* It wasn't an interaction that made me feel all warm and fuzzy - she seemed a little, strident I guess - a little abuprt. Anyhow, she wrapped that up about 15 minutes after I got there, and we sat down and talked.
I told her what led me to wanting to be a midwife/doula, and what my current lifesituation was - it was a good conversation, and she gave me several tips around what I should do. Speaking of which:
LADIES: If you were looking for a doula, and found a website, what information would you want to be there???
I've started working on my website, (I love building new wbesites), I've designed the business cards, and K gave me a few suggestions of women/co-ops that I could work with in order to get some hands on experience.
The things that - kinda rubbed me the wrong way (but looking at it from her perspective, I can kinda understand) were - largely how she talked about her fellow doulas/midwives in the area. Just from her conversation, I can see that there are power struggles, cliques, and two sides of the midwifery world here. One side is willing to go with the flow - bite their tongues, throw up their hands and say 'things aren't going to change here, so why even try to change it?' She's a firm member of that camp - but she's been working in this area for 12 years, and maybe she's just tired of fighting. The other side is what she calls 'vigilante' doulas, including the local Bradley instructor (who just from what she said - I've GOT to take classes with this woman!) These are the doulas/midwives who firmly believe that women should get exactly the service they want from their doctors, and should demand that service - no matter how much it might irritate the powers-that-be. Then - she goes on to say that the women who are part of that 'vigilante' group are basically ostricized by the other midwives and doulas in the area - when they are giving referrals, they leave them off the list, and they don't mention them at all - it's like these other women don't even exsist.
I don't like cattiness, I think it's the height of unprofessionality, and I don't think that telling a new doula who is interested in working with the women is this area that there are people she needs to stay away from is - appropiate. I'm a grown woman, I should be able to make my own judgement calls about people, based on their interactions with me and their moms, NOT based on gossip, hersay, and heaven knows what else. I also think that they are doing a disservice to the moms by not recommending these women - it's NOT their place to regulate the type of service a doula is willing to offer, nor is it their place to decide (independant of the moms) that this doula isn't an 'appropiate' fit for what they consider a doula to be. Every woman is different, and some of them might NEED a tigress by their side rather than a lapcat. If the doulas aren't GOOD, let the moms make that decision - don't ostracize them because you don't like their politics. *rolls eyes*
And of course, I'm saying all of this from a total outsiders perspective - a young, inexperienced, still fired-up and hoping to change the world one birth at a time perspective. I'm also a woman who knows the delicate skill of being stubborn without being loud, bitchy, or disrespectful - and as a mothers advocate, I think that's a healthy thing.
Though I have to admit - her comment that she isn't used to competition, having been the only homebirth midwife is this area for a long time, raised some red flags too......how much of the drama is being started/perpetuated by her?
So - I'm about to join the online group for this bunch of women, along with the Tenn. Midwives Asso. as a doula student. *sigh* I think it's going to be - interesting - to say the least. *rolls eyes* I can see that my new signature is going to be along the lines of: I serve mothers - not society!
There was a few things that she told me that helped me understand things a little better - firstly is that this area is a high-risk care center for the surrounding four states - and that affects the infant/maternal mortality/morbidity rates - exagerrating them in ways that don't really apply to the general health of the women in this community. I took that with a grain of salt, as there was a long series of articles in the paper (even bigger grain of salt) talking about the high infant mortality rates in Memphis - and somehow, I don't know if they were including or excluding the high risk clients. Anyhow - I think that - *sigh* dammit, I think that if these women took the time to put their petty intercine issues behind them, and serve WOMEN as they should be doing, the rate of change might speed up a little bit.
She also mentioned pricing - and holy shit! She suggested that I start charging what I had planned on charging AFTER certification, prior to certification. She did suggest that I offer to do births pro-bono (which was my plan all along) but that just in order to recoup gas money & time money, I should charge at least a little something - which, I've got nothing against.
All in all, I left her office feeling - excited. I'm going to talk to my (pregnant) boss in our one-on-one today, (the first one) and tell her about this 'side job' I'm starting, and ask her how best to work that around my schedule, as heaven knows babies do NOT come when you want them too....
So - the stuff I need to do is as follows:
Order the business cards (the cheapest I can get, as I know I'm going to need new ones once I get certified)
Finish my website
grab a copy of Guerilla Marketing - which lists how to advertise for cheaper (if not free)
find out how much an ad would cost in the local women's magazine, as well as the local parenting magazine.
I want to find a doula that I can work with - either as backup or as an assistant until I can build my own client base - which I don't plan on doing actively until AFTER the training.
*laugh* Buy ANOTHER organizer - I wonder if DONA sells any? They do - but good LORD are they ugly. *shudder*
Finalize my contract and write a backup contract
Make a list of the items that I want to have (massage powder, stress balls, hot/cold pads.........) and find a good bag.
Join TMA and the Co-op
Take a Bradley class - I really want to meet this vigilante (I guess I'm odd enough to NOT consider that a bad thing).
So dman exciting - my life is really getting busy & full.....it's - wonderful!!
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