Solitary Stars shine the brightest

Hmm... how to start this?
I'm a solitary - always have been one, even when I was in a place where there were more pagans around me than I could shake a stick at. For the longest time I was solitary because I wasn't interested in 'proving' my worth. Then, as I started to come closer to accepting the fact that the path I wanted to walk was starting as the path of a student, I opened my mind to the fact that it was most likely a good idea to at least become - partially integrated - with the communities around me, so that if a teacher was there, I would see them. The more I deal with pagan communities though, the more I'm - comforted by my choice to be solitary. I hated the Christian church because the people there did not act as Christians unless they were actually IN church. The pagans I am around remind me of this. Gossiping, slandering, back-biting, tossing about accusations, and basically acting like 9th graders. I'm - I'm too old for that kinda stress and drama in my FAITH.

And maybe that's really the issue. I expect people of faith to hold themselves to some sort of - higher standard - than the average, everyday person. I don't even claim a faith - and yet - could not see myself doing or joining in with such bickering in a community that I was trying to form and solidify. Maybe it's not even an issue of faith. I expect ANYONE who is part of a small, local community to do their best - on an individual as well as collective level - to insure the health of the community as a whole - and to insure that individuals within the community act either with maturity, or they should be treated as children.

Hm. That really is what it boils down to. I'm not willing to join a community that is clearly unhealthy, and I've yet to encounter a faith-based community (of any kind) that is truly HEALTHY. And - that doesn't mean there are never interpersonal issues. That doesn't mean that everybody loves each other on a daily basis. It doesn't mean there are never fallings out, and arguements, and situations that require arbitration. What it DOES mean is that in every situation - things are handled OPENLY, HONESTLY, and MATURELY. It means that people think before they speak. It means that people do not lie. It means that people truly try to do their BEST for the community - and that they rein in (or expell) those who would do any less.
It's - really fascinating - thinking through my concepts on how faith/community/worship/life intersect, and realizing how much of what feels RIGHT to me is Ma'at. It feels good, honestly.