Wow - I got lots of responses to that last entry, rather thoughtful ones too. Funnily enough, I had forgotten I had written that, and when I logged in I was like - DANG!! Where all the notes come from? Anyhow!
Had a wonderful, wonderful weekend. Me & the Boy crept out of town and had a wonderful weekend in South Carolina - did ya'll know they have palm trees there? It was rather trippy - I thought I was just still sleepy - but nope, they were real palm trees. We stayed in this wonderful sexy hotel, and wandered around the city (and can I tell you how LOVELY the weather was) and ate food that just isn't offered in Memphis (like GREEK!!!) and - generally had a fabulous time.
We're actually going to be going out/social birds for the rest of the month. On the 20th, we are going to a wrestling event (that I brought tickets for and didn't tell the Boy about - he's gonna CRAP!) and a Grizzlies game (the company offered tickets for 5 bucks - but we ARE in the nosebleed section, so we may or may not go to that one) on the 28th - which is also our first wedding anniversary. We'll most likely celebrate the second this year, as it lands on a weekend.
Also - I finally got the ovaries up to email AM (the doula I'm working with) and ask her about the long silence and wonder of wonders!! She actually got really GOOD feedback from the couple we saw, and she's just been really busy and didn't get a chance to answer my email. Can I tell you how much better (and worse) that makes me feel? Better because, well, I don't suck. Worse, because well - she didn't respond to the email - is that a sign of things to come? Anyhow, she suggested that I pack a doula bag (which, I already have - the only thing missing out of it is something for my hands - I should learn how to knit or something). So *deep breath* I feel SO much better about that.
I still haven't made up my brochures - largely because I'm debating being cheap and flimsy, or being expensive and sturdy. Basically, it's all about paper weight. Standard paper weight is 24lbs - but it's also rather flimsy and - well, it has a rather homemade feel about it. Brochure weight is 32lbs - a little more sturdy, but still a heck of a lot lighter than cardstock. It's also a heck of alot more expensive than cardstock OR regular paper - I think because it's mainly used for resumes. I don't really WANT to use glossy brochure paper (even more expensive), and I haven't found a good source for 32lb paper in the color I want. I need to go to xpedx and see if I can find some there. Maybe I'll do that tonight.
Ohhhh!! Yes - during the drive to SC, something CLICKED in my head around the whole 'fear of my own light' issue. I realized that I don't LIKE going outside of - predetermined paths. I'm not a real pathbreaker - I like to travel paths that others have traveled and that I KNOW will get me to exactly where I'm going. I'm not all that eager to experiment with my life. And - as I was thinking about that, I realized, that ya know - the path that I want to follow isn't one that can be mapped out ahead of time for one person, and then work perfectly for everyone else. It's too - unique, too specialized, too much me and not enough society. So - with that thought in mind, I realized that one thing that I can do to - ease - a lot of the fear that I have is to map OUT my path. I've done it from the financial side via our budget (oh, our poor creaky budget), but I've never really outlined in detail the other things that I need to do in order to get where I want to be going.
If I have my path mapped out - I can at least follow the first few steps that I think are right, then at least I've made a start. And once I follow those first few steps, I can regroup, and see where I am, and figure out the next ones to take. I basically have to scout out my life. *creep&crawlcreep&crawl* So, yeah. That's my goal for this week - actuall get down on paper what I want to do - and list out at least five steps of how to further that. *nods* And ya know, that's not the LEAST bit scary.
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