Cycles....

I know I go through cycles, and I really wish I could time them so that I'm aware of when my next internal insanity is going to rear it's nasty little head. The cycles vary - I have high points and low points on my personal graph of life and everything. The main variables are usually money, babies, work, weather - not always in that order. "That Girl" does a saucy scale on her entries - I would need four! But at least my hubby isn't included in one of those insanity triggers - usually in fact, he calms me down.
Sidebar: Can I say that he is so wonderful? I've noticed that I don't talk about C much (unless he's pissing me off - which he hasn't done in a WHILE) - but really, my husband rocks. There are somedays when I come home and I just have to love all over him because I don't ever want him to think that there is a thing that I would change - and really there isn't (most days). He's a wonderful, amazing, man. *laughs* Okay - as I'm typing this - I can hear Minnie Riperton's 'Loving You' playing from SOMEWHERE in the office. How appropiate.: End Sidebar
So - I (being not quite bored, but don't quite feel like doing the hideous work of consolidating a spreadsheet and a database) considered making one of those little biorhythm type graphs of each of my crazy making points, on a scale of one to ten. (have I ever mentioned that I LOVE excel?) and then noting how I feel about each one on a day to day basis. I know, I know - silly, but - well - I need another excuse to play with excel!

Um. Damn. There was something else I wanted to type about, but now I can't remember what it was.  One cool thing that I have noticed lately?? I can ALMOST touch type. I type slower thna my usual 120 wpm speed - but I'm not looking at the keyboard. That is one danger of 'learning' how to type by chatting - if I'm writing from the head, my fingers literally FLY - but if I have to transcribe something, I'm slow as molasess. Of course, I can't SPELL at al, but really - who needs to be able to spell?

I've noticed that many very intelligent people that I know have a bigger written vocabulary than they do a spoken one. I'm one of those people - there are words that I can spell, but I can't say.  Like ask.  Yes, I'm one of those people who say axe, and it drives me BATTY, and as much as I've tried, I've yet to figure out how to say it right. How do I overcome it at work?  I NEVER say - Hey - can I ask you something? I always say - Hey - I've got a question for you...... I even TYPE - quick question? when using our internal IM software. *shakeshead* But - that's not really the kind of vocab I was talking about. *thinks* I wish I could remember what word it was - but it happened recently, and you could tell that the person KNEW what the word was they were using, they just couldn't pronounce it.

Some coworkers of mine are having a conversation right now about not being able to move/leave their job because of retirement. One of them said that her husband has 15 years left at work in order to get his retirement pay. FIFTEEN YEARS??? Holy shit. I mean - *tilts head* maybe it's my age group. I can't - I can't imagine working at one place for 25 years. I can't imagine WANTING to work at one palce for 25 years.  I guess - maybe as you progress up the company ladder, it get's eaiser? Or is it just a rut?

I don't know.

There's really so much that I think I know, that I know that I don't really know. Until you actually experience something, you don't really KNOW it. Book knowledge and experiential knowledge are two entirely different things. Obvious, but - hard sometimes. Esp. for someone as curious as I am - I feel like I know a little bit about a lot - but really, I don't know much about much at all.