BirthDay

How to start? It was - amazing - interesting - incredible - yet, at the same time, somewhat disappointing.

M's water broke around 9ish, shortly before her appt. with her doctor (who was flying out of town later that afternoon to visit his mom - go figure!), and the doc wanted her to check into the hospital. She talked him into letting her go home to get her bags, and called in A (the doula) from there. She was 1cm/90% effaced at that time.
We met at her house around 1 - contractions were still pretty irregular & mild, and A started her one a series of homeopathic stuff to get the contractions really going. J (the dad) went and dropped the doggie off at the kennel, and when he came back (around 2) we went for a walk around their complex. He really wanted her to go to the hospital (he was wanting to stick to the doctors schedule) so, we left to go to the hospital around 2:30ish or so.
Once they were all checked in, the long haul started. Thankfully, the nurses were really nice - they had all worked with A before, and the on-call doc didn't show up until around 5 - her contractions were still pretty irregular at that point - but they were strong enough that she couldn't talk through them anymore. The doc checks her at 5pm, and says that she is still just 1cm. She tells him that she's had a LEAP done (13 years ago!) and he comments that LEAP's can often scar the cervix and cause dilation issues, so while he's checking her, he stretches her cervix out to 3cm.
After that - the contractions really started picking up. By 10ish, she was hitting transtion, and was really starting to be out of it. A talked her into getting into the shower, and the second the water hit her back, she dropped to her knees (which freaked me out! I thought she had fallen!) and started grunting that she needed to push.

At that point, all hell broke loose. See - the whole labor had been really low key - me, A, M & J in the room - listening to jazz and Norah Jones - M was doing visualizations and breathing through her contractions - the lights were dim - it was really - laid back. As soon as she started bearing down though - *shakes head* about 5 nurses showed up, plus the doc. They turned on the big bright lights, they wheeled in extra equipment - it was - insane, to say the least. And - they almost totally IGNORED M. It - it was actually rather surreal. But - she pushed for MAYBE 45 minutes - I think closer to half an hour, and little (tiny! 6lb4oz/19in) Sarah was born at 11:35pm. 

It was a REALLY quick labor for a first time mom, and she - oh wow ya'll - she was soooo - strong, and intense, and - beautiful really. The delivery was - what I had expected from a hospital birth (he gave her an episiotomy DESPITE her not wanting one - and really - a SIX pound baby???!! she soooo didn't need to be cut) and it wasn't - icky - really at all.

So - it was kinda disappointing to me personally - it was - odd, being the 'apprentice'. I'm glad that I was with A for the birth - but - I felt pretty darn useless, honestly. I occasionally helped when J was on the phone or A was in the bathroom, but other than that, I drifted on the outside feeling very much - out of place. Birth is a very intimate time, and since I didn't really have any  assigned roles - I was definitely the 4th wheel on the tricycle. A called me this morning because another one of her clients was in labor (she cut those two CLOSE) and she asked me if I wanted to go, and I said no - largely because I was still trying to review the first birth, and secondly because I'd never even MET this woman - I wouldn't feel the least bit comfy being at her birth - esp. considering that A had been at her previous birth so they had even more of a connection already. I'm trying to figure out how I should handle this - should I ask that I be a part of all of her prenatal visits? Should I limit myself to just being backup and accept the fact that I won't meet the moms ahead of time? I think that me & A need to sit down and talk about what my role should be - I really didn't like feeling like a voyuer at her birth. And being the ice/chux/water/essential oils fetcher wasn't so bad, at least once M's contractions really required some thought to get through - but....... gah. It wasn't what I expected.

However! I'm so - so much more calm about being a doula, in and of itself. I know that M's birth was - a dream, really, all things considered. She was very much so prepared, the doc really didn't give a damn as long as she had the baby before the 24 hours were up, the nurses were very laid back, her hubby was fully participatory, she wasn't having back labor - it was a dream birth, really. And seeing the role that A took - *grins* I SOOO know that I can do this - I definitely won't have the same style - she's very different from me - but - at least now I'm pretty sure that I won't royally fuck up if I'm on my own.

I did not even attempt to claim the birth as one for my certification - I didn't feel like I DID enough to even attempt to claim it. A asked me about the form for the doc, and I just shook my head - at that point I hadn't figured out WHY I wasn't going to claim it - but really - that's why. I didn't feel like I added anything to the birth - nothing that was significant enough to count it as part of my certification.

What did I learn? I know that I want to learn more about homeopathics and using them to encourage contractions. I know that I need to get a 'uniform' - I really don't WANT to wear scrubs (I think they are hideous, and look funny on me, and dammit, I'm too stylish for that ish) but that means I have to find something else. I need some proper shoes, and I need to get some clients. I need to review the pressure points. I need to strengthen my legs so that I can squat for long periods of time without getting wobbly.

So. :) That was it. It was wonderful - and - not the least bit - gross, in any way shape or form. I wanted to get a better look at the placenta - but the doc was grossed out by it, so he trashed it ASAP. Ah well.