Reshaping 1: Silent Beginnings

I figured Halloween was a good day to start, as heaven knows, this is SCARY. Let's start with the current numbers...

K's Stats	Current	Goal	Diff
Age:	28	30	N/A
Height:	5'4 (64 in)	5'4	N/A
Weight:	230lbs	140	90lbs
BMI:	39.5	24	15.5
Upper Arm	16	12	4
Bra Size	40DDD	36DD	4in/1 cup
Waist	43	28	15
Hips	51	39	12
Thighs	29	22	7

The 'Goal' sizes would put me in a size 10 - which would thrill me to utterly no end. Ya notice, I plan to do this by my 30th birthday, which gives me 62 weeks. I think it's definitely do-able. A little under a pound and a half a week, and really - the measurements are MUCH more important to me than the weight itself - I could be 160 - 170, and if I can fit nicely into a 10, I'll be thrilled.

So - how do I plan on doing this?
1) Exercise - *gasp* That's right - the hated word. I'm going to finally start doing my swimming/weights routine that I've had prepared for oh, eons now. The schedule is as follows:
Monday & Wednesday: Starting with 1/4 mile (9 laps) - I haven't figured out the step-up schedule yet.
Tuesday & Thursday: Full Weight schedule (the one I've had for ages) - once I can do more reps at the end of a set, I go up by five pounds.
Saturday: Yoga & Ab Work at Home
Friday & Sunday: Days of Rest

2) Diet - this one, I honestly haven't figured out yet. I think that I'm going to do an unholy combination of French, South Beach, and Low Cal. My definite goal is under 50 carbs a day and under 1200 calories a day. I'm going to exercise for three weeks before I even start WORRYING about this however - those three weeks are the 'evalution' period from French - where I look at what I eat, and determine what I am easily willing to relinquish, and what would just be too too hard to give up on. For example - I already know that I can easily give up on the cookies from work, but the home baked bread I won't give up on. I can give up on the sugary drinks, but I will keep my good wine. I will limit my apple cider to the sugar free stuff from home, and only twice a week. So - my ultimate goal is to basically use the 'mental' aspects of the French, the nutritional aspects of SB, and have both of those limited within my caloric intake. A lot of it will consist of high quality food, carry in lunchs, and *groans* three meals a day. I really HAVE to start eating breakfast. But - I figure, a cup of something warm, half a piece of fruit, and a bit of yogurt should be enough. So...so so....

Okay - I wandered off to get a food diary, and now I ahve no clue where else I was going. But I think that's it - food and exercise. We'll get into rewards once I've actually earned one. Though, I really do want to create a calendar for meself..... I think I'll do that, then go eat lunch.

Yaaaaaaaaaaawwwn

Fall back gives you an extra hour my tail - I just wanted to fall BACK into bed this morning. But - bleh. Somehow I managed to drag myself up, had the hubby scare the living crap out of me by still being home (he had an unexpected day off) and somehow ended up at work 1/2 hour early (which is virtually unheard of for me!!)
So now of course, I'm sitting here yawning my head off, but at least I only have another 30 minutes or so. Going swimming tonight (YAYY!! me!) and brought a sweat suit to change into.... I'm debating if I should change at work, or if I should jsut go to the gym, swim, then put the sweatsuit on. Benefits of changing at work? I can leave one outfit in the car. Benefits of changing at the gym? I don't have to come back into work to change. Sadly enough, I think that might win out - once I am out of this building, I really don't want to come back in until TOMMOROW morning.

I say FIE upon Access by the way - I don't WANT the users to see the database when they use the form, and it seems like there needs to be some sort of heavt VBA shite going on to do that - and ya know, it's SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO not that crucial, eh? But - most of the form is done. I need to put in some validation stuff, and bang out a report or two - but still this was the 'famed' 3 month long project. If this validation takes me two months to do - I'll.....I'll - I'll eat something REALLY gross.

Speaking of eating gross stuff - the habeneros have almost ALL turned orange from being in the house. I need to grab a cutting before the poor plants die from the frost...and I need to slice up the peppers and 'flash' freeze them so that we will have lovely spicy goodness all winter long. Speaking of all winter long - can I say just how BADLY we sucked in our first month of budgeting?? Hmm?? Suckworthy, we were. It's funny though, C is almost more on board than I am - example? I put together a 'grading scale' for us based on how much we spent over our base budget amount. I thought that 50.00 was a good scale - he wants it to be 25.00. :) heh, well excuse me Frugal Fred!! Anyhow - there were a few 'unexpected' items. We STILL managed to save ALMOST as much as we were supposed to (I think we saved like 50 less than we were supposed to) largely due to his overtime - but really, we could have don'e MUCH better. So - we got an 'F' this month - we'll see how we do next month.

I'm rambling on, as it is FAR too late in the day to meddle about with Access anymore...and my toes hurt...and I'm sleepy - which I think I mentioned all ready.

*taptaptap*

 

*blinks*

Well..... I've survived day one of hubby-at-home rather nicely - so far, so very good. And I'm quite relieved to find out I'm not the only one who gets the wiggling heebie-jeebies at the thought of spending ALL of their time with someone. And EEKK!! I found out he's going to have the weekends OFF! *gasp*

Access is going to make me pull my hair out, but in a good way. :)

I forgot to eat lunch today as I was so involved, and I have every intentions of escaping early and going home and baking a fresh loaf of bread. In fact, I hope to meddle about on here until it's time to go. 4:16 now....

Found 'French Women Don't Get Fat' - am dissapointed so far because it apparently is bestfor those semi-svelte women who only have 30 pounds or so to lose - heifern. Still, seems like a good attitude to have as far as appreciating food and eating for QUALITY rather than quantity and being aware of what's going in your mouth. I realized today as I was getting dressed (we aren't even going to TALK about the clothing hurricane that is the library/my closet) that I really DON'T have an issue with the weight that I am - with my size. What I would like to get rid of, is what I've had since I was BORN - my potbelly (or bucketbelly now).  EVERYTHING else on me is proportionate - hips to boobs, ass to thighs, knees to ankles, head to everything else - EXCEPT the belly. My grandmother once thought I had worms. *le sigh*.  But one good thing about me - as I lose weight, my waistline tightens up too....

We grilled last night - lovely ribs, simply lovely. I made veggies to go on the side, he had soup. I want something - summery for dinner tonight. Not ready for Fall. Not! Not! Not!

Finally gave in and picked the last of the habeneros from the plant last night - brought them in the house, and left them out on the counter. This morning, five or six of them had turned orangey colored - I think just the warmth of the house is making them ripen. I think that I'll take a cutting or two from the plants and try to over winter them. Hmmm.. Cuttings.

HMm....looks like I cut, and stick in some dirt. Hmmm......Sweet.

4:25pm. Not bad. G'night ya'll.

I'm such a horrid wife....

The darling light of my life is about to start working days, and I'm hyperventilating. Why, you may ask? Because that means we'll be together ALLLLLLLLLL the time - okay, maybe not Saturdays, but STILL.
See, you must understand two things about me. One, I'm an only child, and I need time away from humans in order to remain human - no matter how much I might love them.  Two, for a good 80% of our relationship together, we've worked roughly opposite shifts. I've done the 9-5pm bit, and he's done the 3-11pm bit. We always have weekends, and lately it's been Monday's together. Which means that we get our 'own' time about 3 days a week (I stay up late on Fridays and spend that time with him as well) and have lovely wonderful togetherness time 4 days a week. Has worked wonderfully thus far.

Now....he's switching to days. Which will most likely turn into 7-3pm - which means I'll get a little time in the morning (when I'm not human ANYHOW) and no time at all (besides driving home from work) to myself in the evening.  AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! And to make it even worse, it's getting COLD - which means I can't escape outside. I love him, love him dearly, but I know that it's going to drive me crazy.crazy.crazy. And I really have no clue of how to deal with/handle it.

It's not like - he bugs me or anything - I just like having time to myself. And it's interesting, because I've always wondered/worried about this aspect of myself once I have kids - but I realized, ya know what - they HAVE to sleep sometime.......and that can be the 'me' time that I need, whereas the light of my life WILL stay awake until I go to bed, and will come to bed with me.

So. I'm making plans....plots would be a better word - on how to deal with it. The way our house is set up, the only room that I could retreat to would be the loft - which wouldn't be bad, except for the fact that the computer mainly resides downstairs (ah yes, remind me to gnash my teeth over my computer). And besides, theres' no furniture up there. *laughs* Ya know, this might be a wonderful way to FORCE me to go and work out on a regular basis - I can zone away into my own little wornd while I'm working out, and come home 'cleared' and refreshed. That would really be a win-win....and once again, it would give me SOME alone time 4 days of the week - plus making me go to the gym. Hmmmm - that might be right peachy.

See??? I feel better already.

 

---

 

Got the new piece for my laptop (a backlight for the screen, if anyone is interested). Tested it IN the screen that chickiedee sent it to me in (the one that she said worked). Now, she could be lying, but as this is a replacement part for the FIRST one I got (that reminds me, I need to leave feedback) I doubt it -  she's already got mah money. *sigh* hooked it up to the computer, turned it on, and nothing. Utter darkness. Which *swears vibrantly* tells me that it's something OTHER than the backlight. Am I going to take it to get fixed? No, no I'm not...and why not you may ask? Because fixing the damn screen on a laptop is the MOST expensive bit of the little bastards. I was lucky in being able to get a new screen for 'cheap' (300 and someodd dollars??) when the first one got cracked, but dammit I am NOT shelling out for another screen at this point in time. And from what I've seen online, if I took it to someone to get fixed, they would laugh at me and tell me it would end up being CHEAPER (once you factor in labor) to buy a new one. Dammit. So. *sigh* I suppose I could check out the inverter - depsite me being almost POSITIVE that isn't the problem - and seeing if that works.
The computer is going to have to become stationary, I think - largely because I can get a nice monitor for much cheaper than a new computer...but that would also require the use of a good desk, as we won't be able to balance a laptop bottom and a monitor on the little TV trays that we are currently using.  And besides, I'm stubborn - I LIKE my computer. I've got it set up JUST right. I don't WANT a new one, dammit - despite the fact that we actually have enough money saved (house money!! do not touch!!) to get a really noice new laptop - but no. So....on the lookout for a nice monitor, and a worthwhile desk - though we could use the dining room table (which we almost NEVER eat on) for a while. *makes face* Gah. Why, oh why, isn't crap built to LAST anymore? Hmmmm?? Damn Gateway. Fie on thee, FIE!!!

 

---

 

I'm sure that I haven't kvetched about work in a while - I'm still bored senseless, but I volunteered for a project that should keep me occupied for at least a week or two - building a new Access database for us to keep track of our fixes to the system. One of my coworkers said that it would take about 3 months to finish (snicker) I'm thinking it'll take three weeks - and I'm not even that FAMILIAR with Access. I've used it before - built some really cool shit - but what we need is simple enough that seriously - a good book or two, and I'll be off and running. Speaking of building ish, I'm glad to say that despite for ONE area my doula website is almost done - yet another reason I want my computer back! I need to finish off the brochures and such. And yeah, I can work on my work computer at home (as I've been doing since it went down) but I don't feel right about it - despite the fact that my boss knows about my 'side' job. So yeah - that's all kinds of cool & ish.

Um. 4:23pm. Gah.

 

HoHum, It's Monday again.....

 

So - once again, the weekend is over. Hail the week!

Um, yeah - a little giddy today....but had a lovely weekend - lets run it down, shall we??

Friday: The usual - baked some bread, made a huge pot of spaghetti sauce, used up the last of the old loaf in bread pudding (I want to find a way to make a savory bread pudding instead of the sweet ones), then kicked back with a COUPLE of glasses of wine - up falling asleep in a chair, woke up with cramped hands.
Saturday: Was woken at the unholy hour of 9:30am by the landlord coming back up 'freshen' up the heating system - I want/need him to clean out the fireplace as well. Ran errands - returned some books to the library ON TIME (that's my new thing - I heart the MCPL, but um - the whole point of going is FREE books, yes??) and scored a couple of new books from the library shop - one FoxFire book that talks about old timey stuff (like how to make moonshine) and *thinks* a dieting book. I really want to get my hands on "French Women don't Get Fat...." but I'm dragging my feet on actually buying it. Humph. Hit up the thrift store near U of M - LOVELY book section - and they have shiteloads of clothes too. But, scored TWO breastfeeding books for 0.99 EACH - swwwweeeeeeettt - and I got another book - Ah yeah, 'The Red Tent' - which is something I've heard is verrah good, but never read. I'll have to go back and check out the clothes. I LOVE browsing. That's me - I'm a queen browser. There's something very - satisfying in digging through stuff, looking for treasure. By the time I got home, the replacement part for my laptop was waiting for me (hopefully this one works - if not, I'm going to have to *sob* break down and get a NEW laptop. Dammit! *sigh* Or, I could break down and give up my 'image' of portability and just get a damn monitor. Geh!!)
Sunday: I cleaned out our downstairs closet which was in a state (to say the least!), and found, much to my regret that I most likely won't be able to use it as a germinating room for the  veggies in the late winter time, as there is NO electrical outlet in there for the lights. *rolls eyes* Hubby suggested that there might be an adapter we can hook into the light socket, so there might still be some hope.  I did 'uncover' some seeds that I brought a year or two ago, as well as some 'computer' sized screwdrivers - I'll be better set up to repair the laptop when I go home tonight. The hubby decided that since he's got a nice little chunk of overtime, we should go out and treat ourselves - and besides, we had to see Doom. So, he worked, then we went to the movies, and stopped out afterwards for a drink and a appetizer (part of which has become my lunch for today - yuummmmm...) Doom was REALLY good, by the by - nicely gory and action packed and fabulously unrealistic.

I'm a wee bit bitter over the fact that I left my iPod home today - *weeps* I actually have to listen to my coworkers all day. Not that they are actually - irratating or anything - but I just prefer to NOT listen to them babble all damn day. Sheesh. And it's COLD outside!! What the hell happened? Yes, yes, I know that it's danggone near November (can you believe it!! Already???!!) so I suppose I should put away the fluffy, fluttering summer stuff and go and get some dang winter clothes. *sigh* I'm not READDDDYYY!! Bah. Bah I say!

Okay, lunch is calllllliinnnggg me..... ciao!

if anything goes, it's all gone.

I'm - restless.  I suspect it's hormones (this Billings thing is really fascinating - talk about getting in touch with yourself!!) but it's - odd. I feel - lost?  And it's not even like I know where I'm going - I feel like I'm looking for something without even realizing that I am looking for something, and really no clue of what I'm looking for.
Or - maybe it's more like I've forgotten something that I never could remember. It's - odd, really.  And then I come here and try to talk about it (thus the chattiness) and it's like - I really have nothing TO talk about - but I keep going anyhow, hoping that one of the tangents I go off on will remind me of what it is that I forgot.

Let's see - what's new in my life? Nothing really - I stopped the day before yesterday and finally talked to the gardening guy in my neighborhood. There is a median - and a pretty wide one too, down the street that I live on, and there has been a lovely garden there all year - and I've seen the gardener working there quite a few times, but this was the first time that I actually stopped to talk to him. He was a nice fellow - name of Robert - and offered me some cuttings from his roses next year after I mentioned that I was planning on a garden. It's interesting - anytime I mention garden, I automatically think of vegetables. I don't consider planting/growing flowers gardening - that's landscaping....even though of course, I know that it IS gardening. Anyhow, I didn't turn down his offer - I can plant both, yes? And he reassured me that my garden most likely only needs about 4 hours of direct sunlight a day - which every area of the little dirt patch I plan on planting gets.

I almost feel like I should go back to older entries to see what the hell I talked about then. Work is - work. It pays the bills, which is rather useful considering the fact that I didn't win the Powerball last night. My computer died (I can't remember if I mentioned that) and therefore I am on hold with my website as ALL of my bloody outlines/documents and information was on there - and I could start again from scratch - but hopefully the part that I need should be on it's way here. I need to start designing some beads - as I've sworn that I won't get a toaster oven to finish them in until I actually have some solid designs to use them with. I still haven't cleaned out that damn closet - even though it calls to me on a daily basis. Thank heavens, it's Thursday, which makes tomorrow Friday (yay!) and hubby's payday (not that it really matters with our 'new' budget) and the day before the weekend - which is when I'm more likely to actually do stuff around the house. I consider it a truly advanced level of success that I have managed to keep the kitchen clean almost all week. I might make another loaf of bread tonight too....

Ya'll ain't writing enough. :)

 

Things....

Things that I like about not smoking....
1) I can hear better...
2) I can smell better...
3) I don't think about where I can do and who I can go with that doesn't mind smoking...
4) My clothes, hair, breath, car, and house smell better...
5) I don't get the early morning hackfest.

Things I don't like about not smoking...
1) I miss going outside 5-6 times a day while at work...
2) My appetite is back... 
3) I miss the feeling of smoke roooolllliiinnnnggg off mah tongue.

Clearly, the positives out number the negatives......it's officially been 6 weeks not smoking, and honestly - I don't have much to complain about. It's actually been a MUCH easier path than I expected it to be - and I'm still 'realizing' habits I had formed while smoking that I didn't even realize were rooted in smoking. It's - cool, kinda. It's just the appetite thing that is screwing with me. I realized a few days ago, that half the time, when I got hungry - I would 'interpet' it as a craving for a cig, and light up. Of course, that suppressed my appetite for a second, but then it would come back......and I'd light another one. Humph. It's - interesting - actually WANTING to eat again, and rather frustrating too. I - I don't want to have to eat. *sigh* I honestly wish sometimes (my waxing rapturously over bread notwithstanding) that food was - an option. Like - wine. I mean - I enjoy wine - throughly - and I like drinking it - but, it's an option. I don't HAVE to drink it - I drink it because I want to...and I wish food was like that too. Where it would be MY choice whether to eat or not (and without the nasty health related side effects of starvation) - and if I didn't want to eat, I wouldn't be prodded by my biology to eat SOMETHING. And no, I'm not even tripping any where NEAR bulimia/anorexia - it's just - interesting - realizing that I tend to NOT want to eat.
And how amazingly rich am I - to be able to even make such a statement when most of the world is begging to be able to eat anytime they so damn well please.
Gah.
I wonder if my years of fasting as a younger person has anything to do with it?? *sigh* Exercising or not (and I still lurve mah pooltime) I - I think that I need to change my eating habits. I can't remember if I mentioned it here before, but I figured out why I'm fat - me personally. I don't have to work for my food...I mean yeah, I have a job and all that provides the money to buy food - but I don't have to actually exert ANY energy into the process of actually obtaining/preparing my food. Making bread has reminded me of that fact - I love bread - and one of the things that I'm considering in my change is to work for my food. For example - if I eat bread, it's gotta be bread I've baked. If I want sweets, I've got to make them. Lunches should always be something brought from home. Drinks should be iced tea. In other words - I'm thinking that I should be making everything - or mostly everything that I eat. I'm not going to start churning butter, or making cheese - though I might start making yogurt - but I honestly don't eat enough to really make it worthwhile. I don't know - I know that I need to start doing SOMETHING different. And it goes way beyond a 'diet' - it's - almost a shift in how I view food.

*shakes head* I haven't processed long enough to think about it. *laughs*

That's something I've noticed about me - I have to NOT think about stuff for a while before I can actually think about it - it needs time to percolate in my subconsious before I'm ready to deal with it consiously.

Dang!

Someone - I think it was Kimmie, did this a while ago, and I've been meaning to imitate her erry since. So - the Top Ten Most Played Songs on my iPod.

1) Fellowship - Comfort Woman (Me'Shell Ndegeocello)
2) Barefoot - Evermind (Amethystium)
3) Andromeda & The Milky Way - Comfort Woman (Me'Shell Ndegeocello)
4) Body - Comfort Woman (Me'Shell Ndegeocello)
5) Hot in Herre - Nellyville (Nelly)
6) Still Standing - The Best of David Benoit (David Benoit)
7) Son of a Gun - All For You (Janet Jackson)
8) Love Song #1 - Comfort Woman (Me'Shell Ndegeocello)
9) Come Smoke My Herb - Comfort Woman (Me'Shell Ndegeocello)
10) Love Song #2 - Comfort Woman (Me'Shell Ndegeocello)

Mind you - jsut to make it perfectly clear considering how OBVIOUSLY stacked the favor is for one particular album - I usually have my iPod on random - it stops when I plug it in to charge it, but other than that - random. *shakes head* My iPod likes Me'Shell - I knew it had good taste.

Actually.....

I think that I am just getting more and more frustrated with people in general on a daily basis. I've noticed myself using 'HUMANS!' as an expletive more and more lately.  It honestly feels like there is a huge gaping chasm between my thought process and the thought processes of 95% of the people around me. For example - a few days ago a coworker and I somehow got on the subject of  her sons' (16 or so) schoolwork. She was 'complaining' about how hard his work books were (he goes to a Christian school that uses homeschooling books as take home workborks) because they - horrors of horrors - expected you to READ three paragraphs, UNDERSTAND them, and then answer a fill in the blanks question - and it WASN'T in the form of a sentence that could be found in the preceeding paragraphs - you actually had to understand the concept that the chapter is teaching in order to get the question right. *gasp!* *horror*

And - I just sat there and looked at her, thinking - you mean, you're complaining because the school and  workbook actually wants your son to LEARN something, and NOT just regurgitate a sentence that he just read??? And - how - I mean - how do you even talk about something like that - when - obviously - I mean - she doesn't even see it like that? *shakes head* baffling.

Did I ever mention the Pagan Pride Festival I went to? I can't remember if I did or not - it was - okay. *thinks* It feels so - horridly elitist - to say that they mostly weren't my kind of folks...I mean - oh hell, I don't know. I want to make friends so damn badly, but - I - *sigh* I don't know. I'm becoming more and more grounded and stable and happy with MYSELF as a person - and anytime I feel like I shouldn't be/can't be fully who I am - it makes me uncomfy. And - if someone - even on first meeting - seems to have - difficulties there - gah - I'm not interested. And even more so - if - gah! I feel so snobby but - I'm not! I've got no problem interacting with people, talking to them, no matter what kind of foolishness they may be spouting - it's just that once I walk away, I file it under an interesting human to human interaction, and I move along. It really *laugh* takes a special person for me to really be interested in making them into a friend.

That's one of the reasons I love OD so much. It's allowed me to meet people who - think - like I do. The dirty little thoughts and concepts and grime that make us - interesting and not pap filled consumers.

But really, I was talking about the Pagan Pride Festival because they were giving a 'psychic ability' test. Pretty simple tests - one for clarvoyance and another for telepathy. For clarvoyance, you had to 'see' the card before she turned it over. For telepathy she looked at the card, then tried to 'send' me an image. Clarvoyance, I got 5 out of 25 right. Telepathy, I got 20 out of 25 right. *grins* creepy, right? As much as I would LOVE to have some sort of ESP - I think it's just caused by years and years of being a wallflower. *laugh* When you are leaning on the walls, watching others interact - you - learn powers of observation. Even now, I LOVE watching people interact with each other - the facial expressions, the body language, the shifting eyes, the tapping feet - it's really - amazing how much we communicate without words.

Which, almost makes it more odd that I have made more CLOSE friends online than I ever have in the real world - and for all of the people I've met online and thought that I would be able to get along with - we have clicked AMAZINGLY in real life. It's been a serisouly winning streak - and I don't know why. are we more honest with ourselves and each other online because we can't see the telltales that indicate approval or disapproval of who we are? Or does the eletronic connection allow us a sense of 'distance' and a facade that allows us to totally let down our hair under it?

I'm not going anywhere with this - in fact, I don't even know where I was trying to go. I'm just writing at this point. It's amazing how leaving this place for a month almost guarantees that I'll be writing like a mad woman once I get back.

a.r.g.h.

Ya know....there are things that you can do something about, and there are things that you can't do anything about, and heaven knows that the difference between the two is sometimes so glaringly obvious that I cringe at just how MUCH I want to meddle - knowing quite well that I have a) no damn place to meddle and b) not enough information to meddle.
So instead, I bite my tongue, and come here to vent/kevtch/mutter grimly about the horrid state of care for mothers to be.
My boss is pregnant - well, she will be until around 2:45pm this afternoon. Her due date is the 31st. They are scheduling her for a c-section - for 'low' amniotic fluid (which consider how small she's been through her whole pregnancy, I suspect has been the case all along, and I'd LOVE to know what her numbers are) and because the baby is breech. TWO WEEKS EARLY????? Ummm - and she's a first time mom??? Shesssshhhhhhh people! *thumps head on desk* *bangs head a little harder* *cries in pure frustration* And mind you - she's tired, yeah - but she wasn't anywhere near the 'Oh sweet jesus get this kid OUT of me stage'. 

So see - not a damn thing I can do. Not even a damn thing I can say at this point. I just bite my tongue, and curse the fact that another woman is having a c-section despite the lack of any serious risk to babe. and TWO WEEKS EARLY!!! Holy shit! If she was due - hell, post dates, I might - MIGHT - understand. But two weeks EARLY? *sigh*

Jaysus. Jaysus! Dammit!

It's not my birth, and I know damn well that it's not my birth, but - it's - *sigh* don't know the whole story. Give the doc the benefit of the doubt. *snork*

Breathe.
Curse.
Breathe.

Ah, well. *shrugs*

I'm seriously going to cry if the babe has to go to the NICU for underdeveloped lungs. And her family tends to go post dates? *shakes head*

*sigh*

and another thing that I've noticed that is REALLLLY starting to creep me out - a LOT of YOUNG women taking clomid/going through infertility treatments - or at least on OD. I can understand it if you are 30ish - okay, yeah, infertility treatments - okay. But 21? 23? Damn - isn't that supposed to be like peak babymaking times in a womans life? And is it horrid of me to wonder if these TTC diares of these super young woman are actually real? esp considering when they write about stuff and can't even spell the words right? Or when they are asking noters to tell them when to start taking the hormones instead of their doctor? Eh.