I got Flowers Today.....

I got flowers today. It wasn't my birthday or any other special day. We had our first argument last night, And he said a lot of cruel things that really hurt me. I know he is sorry and didn't mean the things he said. Because he sent me flowers today.
I got flowers today. It wasn't our anniversary or any other special day. Last night, he threw me into a wall and started to choke me. It seemed like a nightmare. I couldn't believe it was real. I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over. I know he must be sorry. Because he sent me flowers today.
I got flowers today, and it wasn't Mother's Day or any other special day. Last night, he beat me up again. And it was much worse than all the other times. If I leave him, what will I do? How will I take care of my kids? What about money? I'm afraid of him and scared to leave. But I know he must be sorry. Because he sent me flowers today.
I got flowers today. Today was a very special day. It was the day of my funeral. Last night, he finally killed me. He beat me to death. If only I had gathered enough courage and strength to leave him, I would not have gotten flowers...today.

STOP DOMESTIC VIOLENCE TODAY!!! DO NOT TOLERATE IT!!!!!

I got this in an email a few weeks ago…and I just read it, got thoroughly upset, and left it there, because I didn’t really know what to do with it. I’m still not sure what to do with it…because it touches something in me. It’s odd, because while I have never been subjected to physical/sexual (why are the two separate? isn’t sexual abuse the most abusing of all physical abuses??) abuse, I know entirely too many people who have been, whether in a relationship, or a marriage, or whatEVER and it scares me. It scares me because no one, male or female is safe from it. It scares me because as a woman, I have a 75% chance of being exposed to abuse on my body at some point in my life. And there is nothing that I can do to protect myself from it. I make every effort to ‘keep safe’, and no matter who ‘he’ is, I try to be sure that I am alone with no man who I don’t trust with my life. And trust me…most of those men are gay. But waayy back in the back of my head, I know that I am never safe… and I know that love can turn in to pain and even death. And I know that people may ignore my pain, and that even I may ignore my pain. And I know that every time I walk down the street… I take a chance. And that knowledge sits in the back of most women’s minds…no matter how many self-defense classes they have taken…or how fast the can run… or how unattractive they may feel themselves to be. We are hostage in our own bodies…on the constant alert & guard against violence.
I wonder if men fell the same way, and I can’t imagine that they do. I am not saying that I feel weak, or that I feel like prey, I am saying that I have the awareness that someone else may look at me and see me as weak, or as prey, or as a victim, and that I may have to fight for my life & my soul… and that I only rarely can I be totally safe. And I know that the only thing that may save me…beyond me being able to save myself… is for others to see what is going on, and assist me. So I’m doing this with it….scattering it out you the people in the Open Diary (many many many more people than I will ever have email addresses for) and with it, a plea.

If you see someone being hurt, whether it be a child, or an adult, or if you SUSPECT that you are seeing the side effects of someone being hurt…talk to that person…ask them if there is anything that you can do…anything that they need. And if you even consider yourself the least bit of a friend to that person… KEEP asking them until either you are CERTAIN that nothing is wrong, or until they turn to you or someone else for help. I am asking this for YOUR daughters & sister & brothers & cousins & sons & mothers & fathers & aunts & friends & loved ones. I am asking you this for every ONE who has ever had someone lay hands on them in anger or rage…I am asking this for ANYONE who has ever been harmed by someone they loved. I am asking that you do this for yourself…because the life you save my be your own.

Stay Jazzed…