The OTHER facts of Life (for us)

Excerpts from The Other Facts of Life : from Mad at Miles: A BlackWoman’s Guide to Truth by Pearl Clege
These are the other facts of life. The ones your mother probably didn’t tell you because she didn’t want to scare you. What she didn’t realize that being scared isn’t the worse thing that could happen. Being unprepared is much worse

Violence
In America, they admit that five women a day are killed by their husbands, boyfriends, ex-husbands, ex-boyfriends, or lovers.
In America, the main reason women are hospitalized is because they have been beaten and tortured by men.
In America, thousands a women a day are raped and/or tortured and abused by men in as many ways as you can think of, and probably a whole lot more you haven’t thought of, and don’t want to, including beating, shooting, scalding, stabbing, shaking, and starving.
All men are capable of abusing women, no matter what they tell you or what they call it, so don’t kid yourself about this one or that one being different. It takes years of work & trust to eliminate the probability of violence in relationships between men & women. Don’t think you can rush the process because you wish you could.

Rape
Review the facts at the start of the section on violence. Let yourself think about them and feel what they really mean to each of us. Keep them in mind while you read about rape.
Rape is a crime of woman-hating and violence. It is NOT a crime of passion or a sex crime.
The victim of rape is never, never, never, never responsible, no matter what she was wearing, where she was walking, what she was doing or who she went out with, had a drink with, married, kissed, flirted with or lied to. Bad judgment and carelessness are not punishable by rape.
NO rape is ever justified and no rapist ever has an acceptable reason or excuse. Ever.

Sex
Take complete responsibility for birth control. Of course, in the best of all worlds, men would share equal responsibility for birth control. but realistically speaking, they won’t take it as seriously as we do. They can’t get pregnant.
Take complete responsibility for safe sex. Protect yourself against AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases by always carrying and using your own condoms.
Don’t fake pleasure, excitement, or orgasms. There is no excuse for it, no end to it, and no way to justify it. Whenever you find yourself considering ‘faking it’, ask yourself why & who benefits from such bullshit?