Good Lovin Rockin

I am so depressed by the statistics for relationships. Marriages tend to have a 50/50 chance of surviving, people fall in and out of love like they are changing clothes, and everyone is looking for something that they swear cannot be found. I think that I have discovered the reason why.

If you did not grow up in an environment where you saw two people in love, interacting on a daily basis with all the highs and the lows and the pitfalls and the peaks that making love work requires, where would you get your concept of love from? How would you know what was real love and what was something else, like infatuation or random lust? You would have to go to secondary sources, and what is the main secondary source for love knowledge after the babblings of our just as lost friends? What surrounds each of us every single day that deals mainly with love? Music. Umhm… music… love songs.

After watching all of the videos that I have over the past two days (today was my sleep very very late & veg out day) I realized that I have an utterly unrealistic idea of what love is. I somehow expect my love to be hot and magical and passionate and EASY. I expect love to be something that is simple and uncomplicated and totally and utterly perfect, until suddenly it ain’t right no more. I expect to make it last forever , without ever realizing that I got work to do. I am expecting a love supreme, when sometimes all I have ever really wanted was real love. I have expected sex (that good love) to cover all of the holes and gaps and missing spots in a relationship, rather than realizing that communication is a powerful thang, and can overcome anything.

I got the urge to write a research paper on the Representation of Romantic Love in Popular Music, just so that I would be able to outline and set down exactly how backwards most of my assumptions were/are.
And in the process of thinking about all of this, I started to realize that some of those old school - old fashioned ideas might be best…saving sex until marriage, taking it slow. Yeah, there might not have been that crazy passionate love in some of our grandparents & great parent’s relationships, but they learned to love each other, they learned to be in love.

*sighs* Love is the biggest compromise there is, and * smiles * I remember saying earlier that I don’t think that I could ever be fully and completely in love because the compromises required were too high. After these last few months though, I am more than ready to compromise. *smiles* This latest heartbreak has cured me of all of my wandering lust issues. I am ready to *gulp* settle down. The next thing I get into, the next relationship that I have, I want it t be for keeps. I want it to be something that will last. Now I know that I could previously never stand folx who were looking for a wife, because it seems that they limited themselves to finding only those kind of people who were looking for the same thing. But now I realize that if that is what they want, then they are not TRYING to go through the hassle of opening up their heart to someone who knows that they will be transitory, a thing of a few months before they move on.

Now… I understand. *sighs* Growing up sucks sometimes. I have been looking at these videos with a really jaundiced eye, trying to see if there is anything that I can pull from them that can be useful. And the more I watch, the more disgusted I get. *sighs* Me…the queen of sexual freedom being turned ever so thoroughly turned off by the rampant sexuality of the music world.

*Sighs* Ah well… I think that my earlier free wheeling spirit may be coming to bite me in the butt. To me, most sex (mainly penetration) is not even a representation of love anymore. It is just something that folx do to get their rocks off. I feel like kissing and cuddling are about the sexiest and most intimate things you can do with someone…a hug or a touch on my collarbone inspires more feelings of love than a dick sliding into my pussy ever could. *sighs* Humph. The lessons learned too late to make a difference, the burnt child wonders what a fire is good for.

Stay Jazzed