Bondage

So. I tend to avoid doing this like the plauge - but once again it is time for me to sit back and take stock of my current financial status. My debt to income ratio - not good. My current assests - nil. My debt - about as far from nil as you can get.

I had a plan that I had set up all lovely and wonderful at the start of the year. Then, I totalled my car, and that sent my plans into a total tailspin. Then, I had to deal with my insurance comapny dicking with me for another two months - and, yes, I went a little haywire with the spending (the vision stuff and the computer). Now - I'm staring at the short side of 70 bucks to get me from today until April 15, along with a tax bill of close to 1,300.00 that is due April 21st, and I'm realizing that at THIS precise moment - I'm in deep shit.

So. I'm sitting back and taking a real and honest look at my finances. The first thing I did was to determine what my REAL income is. I've been under the delusion that I make close to 50K a year, and according to the IRS, that's right. However - I only bring home (to spend on stuff like bills & cat food) about 30K a year - which is a big fuckin difference. I estimated my yearly neccesities and school loans(also known as the stuff I just WON'T live without) to end up costing me about 18K. Which means, if those were the only bills I had, I would have about a grand a month to work with. Which, honestly would be rather nice. It ALSO tells me that once I erase my debt, I can work at a place that pays at a max 15K less than what I'm making now, and still live pretty well - especially if me & Corey live together.

However - I DO have credit card debt. I've got the overdraft account - which is no longer any good. I've got a credit card through work - which is close to not being any good. I've got the card that the wedding is being sponsored on - which is still good. I've got the loan for LASIK - but I totally think it's worth it. So - all together, I've got about 9K of credit card debt. Honestly, looking at that - it's not that bad. That means that I could pay it off in a year. So - that means I would have to dump about 800.00 a month on those bills to clean them up. Which - is workable.

The hard part - which I know is a problem that I have - is that I LIKE TO SPEND MONEY. I really like going out to eat. I like being able to go to the grocery store every week or two. I like being able to scoop up something I really want on eBay. I really don't WANT to go back to living the way I lived my last year of college -I don't think I should HAVE to - but maybe I NEED to. And that REALLY sucks.

So. Tonight, I'm going to write up a budget. I get paid on Tax Day (I'm going to have to file for an extension.... clearly) and I'm going to have to work it out then. I figure - I KNOW I have the willpower - hell if I can control how and what I eat I sure as HELL should be able to control how much and when I spend. Right?? I'm also going to have to get Corey to buy into this paln with me - cuz it's HARD keeping a budget when there is all the temptation to spend like mad people (which we are BOTH really good at).

And time is slipping through my fingers. I want to be at a state where I am FREE to leave this company June 2004. And I really don't want to shoot myself in the foot by creating a set of golden handcuffs for myself.