Earth

he is my earth. my grounding. his touch alone makes me feel whole. i miss him. i miss waking up in his arms. i miss going to sleep listening to him play soulcaliber. i miss his laugh. i miss his smile. i miss him every moment of every night that i'm home alone thinking of him. i miss living with him - all the bad and the good. i miss watching him sleep as i leave for work. i miss him waking me up when he gets home. i miss his touch. i miss our fights over who gets in the shower first. i miss the smell of him on my pillow. i miss waiting for him to come home. i miss watching him cook for me. i miss cooking for him. i miss every little thing - even the things i hate. i miss him so much just seeing people hold hands sends a shock of longing through me. i miss him so much. and its only been 3 days since i've seen him.
i am adrift in space - floating 111 miles from my earth. i've been drifting for two months now and i don't know how much longer i can drift before i start spiraling down. 

 

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and I feel utterly horrid and selfish and mean for missing him so much when there could be 100,000 other women who miss their men too - but have no guarentee they will return home to them alive. How dare I miss the man I'm going to see in 3 days when there are others who deserve to miss their loved ones even more? how can i tear up over missing the one i love - my little missing is nothing compared to so many others. but it's mine, and it hurts me and it touches me and so - i'm beling selfish.