Purification

scraping away
all excess
revealing sinew
bone
blood
a radical purification
is needed
to bring me
home

is where I start
throwing away
clothes
books
knick-knacks
furniture
leaving the walls bare
and calm
like my soul
desires

are eliminated
no wants
no needs
disconnection from the cycles
of desire/consumption
shift
to the recycle
where everything not discarded
is turned
into something worthy
of my attention and
time

passes slowly
each moment a chance to choose
less or more?
needed or wanted?
energy or mass?
choices made to
insure the
needed purification of my life
discarding the trappings of
status
for the prize
of a peaceful soul.

---

So. This weekend I started the new plan for a simpler life. I performed a financial ritual on the night of the full moon (wednesday), and as I was tearing my house apart looking for a piece of green silk I could have sworn I had, I realized that just in GENERAL - I've got way too much crap. However, during the process of tearing apart my house, I also stumbled on a deck of cards called 52 ways to simplify your life that I purchased years ago when I was still in school. I didn't look at them just then, but instead just picked them up and sat them next to my goddess cards and the tarot deck I also found in my search and left them alone for the rest of the weekend. The concept of simplifying my life though - that remained bubbling in the back of my head, and connected to that fact that lately I've been itching for change and reorganization. Normally, I would just color my hair and be done with it, but this time I think that I have the energy and the need to do more. I believe that there is a right time for every change that you truly NEED in your life - whether it be quitting smoking, leaving a relationship, losing weight, getting organized - whatever - and to try to force yourself to do that before it's truly TIME for you to do it almost guarentees that it's going to be harder than it could be. Of course - a lot of times we don't have the liberty of waiting until that time arrives, but when the need is there and the time/moment is right as well - it makes change almost easy.
The time for me is right - I can feel the urge bubbling up to rip it all apart and put it back together the way it should be.
Somehow, all of this is coming together and it's really most exciting. I'm doing things that I've wanted to do for YEARS - and it seems to be rolling together all at once. It's scary and wonderful and exhilerating because I can finally see myself actively becoming the woman that I want to be.

I'm melting down to my true core.