Death is a snowjob

*sighs* I had written almost a whole ‘nother entry… and then I started writing Stronger. and what I was writing before made totally no sense at all.

when death comes
shall I go silently
or scream so the whole world
hears
my final breath?
after death
is there anything left of me
of me
of I?
or am I reduced
to my lowest common denominator
and turned to dirt again…


*sighs* well… as I was saying before…It’s snowing. Really hard. *shakes head*
I’m all stirred up…reading about others pain and knowing that as much as I would like to there is nothing I can do…it shakes me up. It’s odd how easy it is to forget that I am a finite person. That I am limited very much so in what I do. That someday, I’m going to die. And there is not a damn thing I can do about it. I get the urge to fly madly about and try to do everything that I ever wanted to do RIGHT NOW because my next breath may be my last…but a few minutes later I have forgotten about how every second I live leaves me with one less second to live…and I continue on through life feeling like an infinite being.
I have a really bad headache and so nothing…absolutely nothing is coming out right. *sighs*

Stay Jazzed.

Stronger.

I was talking to AOIM …umm…Gemini Complex a few days ago, and somehow we got on the topic of seeing how many issues people have, and she asked me if that was a bad thing. (Kelly… I know I am saying this reallly bad… but bear with me). And my reply was that I was amazed every time I read something about the hurts and pains that people go through, and yet still manage to exist and love and write and feel joy and fight on. It amazes me how STRONG people are, how much pain people can suffer through, and yet still mange to share a joke or laugh or try to cheer up someone else’s day. I am awed by the simple endurance of people, and how so much of what we think we know of people is really a shield over the pains and joys of their lives. Most of the diarists I read probably don’t even know that I am there, looking over their shoulder as they struggle through life, being inspired by the courage that they show in just living…in moving and loving and growing. Reading all of ya’ll *waves hand to encompass the whole OD* has let me know just how BLESSED I am in being able to do things without even thinking that some others have had to struggle to be able to do. Sometimes I am shamed at the petty problems that I bitch about in light of the struggles that others go through. But I am always always always encouraged…to push on… to not just stop and let life pass me by..to keep on going even though I really have no clue where I am going.
I didn't say what I was trying to say as well as I wanted to...but I hope somebody hears me and understands...

Thank’s ya’ll…


Stay Jazzed.

ho-hum.

*twitches* Okay.. I thought I was hooked on OD. I have realized that I am much much much more hooked on hotmail. For some reason, I can’t get to hotmail, and I can’t get to MSN and I am about to go utterly crazy. I don’t know if the system crashed, or is Microsoft is having issues or what…but if I can’t read my email soon I may go stark raving mad. Seriously. I can’t even get to anything related to hotmail. Maybe the sysAdmin blocked it… but WHHYYYY!!!!!!????????????!?????????!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Okay… I went to lunch. I cam back. No dice. *sighs* And… I have a hole in my stocking. *sighs*

Welll…. I really have nothing to write about, but I want to try and look busy so I will sit here and type for a while. I am almost able to type without looking at the keyboard, but it is still really a touch and go kinda of thing. And as I can’t spell…I could chalk up most of my mistakes to that. Hmm.. I wonder if people could spell better (generally) before the age of computers. I mean when you are working on a typewriter, it is a bit harder to correct your mistakes. *sighs* Anyhow…

I don’t know if I have said this at all...but I do love Chef. I think it has been coming through in my writings, and that it is clear in a really hazy way (figure that one out two years from now) but I do love him. It’s interesting, that as I look over my past relationships, I have ALWAYS been the one to break things off. I don’t know why I am bringing this up now.. but that is just the way it was. Hm. Random blabber.

Still no hotmail. I’m about to call microsoft.

*sighs* I snatched a creativity survey from somebody earlier today, but I really didn’t feel lie doing it. In fact, what I feel like doing is curling up with Chef and drifting half off to sleep. *sighs* He is SUCH a cuddle monster.

I lied earlier when I said I write only for me… I have some writings that I did while I was in Philly that I still have not posted…and I’m not sure why. Sometimes I feel like writing thins in here make them closer to real, make them something that has to be studied and examined and truly thought over instead of merely dismissed as a random flicker of thought. Yeah, some of it I wrote while I was sick and I am sure that my brain wasn’t all there… but still. *sighs* I know some of what I wrote is very very real in my life, and is something I need to address and look into and think about…but I’m still too much of a punk to do it.

*deep breath* Okay… the doctor just called me back. He said that my PAP smear came back abnormal…*sighs* Okay…. That I am not freaking about. Not in the least. Really. I’m debating if I should hop onto the internet and see what the hell that could possibly mean…but then I would really scare myself…so I am just going to write about things less nerve-racking. *sighs* Damn… and I have to wait until Feb. 12th to get re-checked out. No worries. None. I’m off to Yahoo! Health. Umph. That helped NONE.

Okay…back to the previous topic. One of the things I wrote about was not having friends here. *thinks* I don’t think I have talked/bitched much about this topic, so I am allowed to keep on it. ( I hate it when people complain and then do nothing to change whatever they are complaining about, so I have decided to limit the amount of bitching I can do about anything if I haven’t taken steps to change it.) It’s weird, I honestly don’t know HOW to make friends in real life. Most of the friends I have made in the last 6 years have been over the net, and the friends I made before that in person were due to Upward Bound. And so I’m here, in a new town, and I feel…so lost. I want to meet new & cool & interesting people, but I have no clue how to go about doing it without making myself look like an utter ass. And then, add to that the fact that really.. I am a little shy in real life.. it makes it…harder for me to really go out and meet people. I feel like if I had just ONE person that I could go out with and use as a bit of moral support…it would be cool.
I’m actually going to lunch with a cool woman that I met last year at a luncheon. She works here too, and I think she is about 23 or 24… in other words a raw newbie like me. Maybe we can do something…but then I don’t know how to pull off the ‘follow-through’. What is too much contact? What is too little? How do you keep in touch with people without them feeling like you are trying to analyze their entire life, or like you don’t give a damn about them and only call when you need something? I need to learn basic out-going social skills… and I am not sure how to. And then there seems to be so few people to practice on…that screwing up is really not an option. *sighs* I’m depressing myself… off to read diaries and continue pretending to work…

Stay Jazzed.

Still no hotmail. Help!

Of Chatting and Boobies.

*hums* Isn’t she lovely…Isn’t she beautiful… whatever is it…she desires…

Ugh. We have been together for a mere four months. *sighs* Well… no rush. No hurry. Each day goes by at it’s own speed. At it’s own rate.

*taps a little hole in the box of life*

hm hm hm. Totally random flooooooow of consiousness. Dang I can’t spell. Didn’t buy my house is a home thing this month. *sighs* No cash. *sighs* Haven’t gotten kitties either. *sighs* Don’t know if I can afford the food & litter & vet fees and all that other junk. I did submit an application for a job…and ya know.. I don’t think I have ever NOT gotten a job that I truly wanted. *sighs* Please let this not be the one that breaks the track record. And it didn’t look like there was a dress code… just Rocky Horror T-shirts and jeans. : ) I would work with that.

I’m not sure if I should be freaked out by the fact that my doctor called me, left a message just asking me to call him back.. and I still haven’t heard back from him. Should I be freaked? I’m thinking I should not be.. but really..how often does your DOCOTR call you personally… not a nurse, not a NP, but the actual doctor. .and leavea cryptic freaking message. *Sighs* I will not freak. Besides… I feel all better except for the whole sore hands thing. And the whole dehydration thing. And the whole muscle cramp thing. And the whole cold as a witches tit thing. : )
*grins* but really… I feel a hell of a lot better.

Anybody hear of this thing called ISCA? About *thinks* three years ago it was an amazingly popular bbs. Now… it’s not so much. I’m back on it and that certainly helps me pass the time while at work. But it’s cool… I get to chat and post and all that jazz.

*yawns* Hmm… Diary of a Tit Job. That should be interesting. Can’t wait to go to the doctor so I can get some go-ahead & feed back for me dieting. I have seen more documentaries on plastic surgery in the past few weeks than a little bit. And as I am horribly squeamish when it comes to blood on TV…I was really hooked. The one on MTV was rather ridiculously graphic to be… but then I don’t like some action movies because they show to much blood… so clearly me watching a surgery is out. Anyhow…I am still considering it… one of those things in the back of my head…but I love my tig ole bittes so much… *sighs* I just wish I could get a damn bra that fits. *sighs* Though it would be interesting to see what it felt like to have a pair of perky little titties for a bit. : )
I told Chef a few days ago that I have always wished that I was more like a fairy and less like a belly dancer. *grins* I have always wanted to be one of those short, frail little women who somehow manae to be bigger than everyone else in the room. Rather than the great hulk I feel like sometimes. Urgh. Hm…there are a lot of web sites for this….my main issue would be that I wanna feed my kids. And I have seen most placess ay that they canot guarentee that that will be possible. : ( major suckage.

If you can’t tell yet, I am talking to myself mostly here….I tend to write for myself.. or at least write as if I don’t expect anyone else to read. I think that is why I get so geeked when I get notes.. cuz it means someone read me, when I wasn’t expecting it. Well…

Stay Jazzed.

Duller than Thou

Whooo…never thought I would be relived to have signs of PMS. I am suffering from the whole intense emotional experience thing… I nearly teared up while thinking about what car I want to get. Scary eh? This is the time when I start to really feel like I might be just a little crazy. I start thinking about anorexia and flinging myself down elevator shafts and becoming a true alcoholic and quitting my job and traveling the world with a book and a pen and 5 bucks to my name. Just random wild woman thought that normally wouldn’t even creep into my head…much less receive any serious consideration.

Urgh. Anyhow… I think that I will go tonight and get my glasses. I was going to go Saturday, but a certain someone asked me to wait because he thought he was going to have Saturday off and he wants glasses as well… as he doesn’t have Saturday off... I am going to get my glasses post-haste. *sighs* Men.

Umm.. just came back from lunch and I am very sleepy. I was up until almost 3 this morning for some reason I just couldn’t get to sleep. I was online for a while.. chatting, but even once I got off I just laid there…I finally drifted off around 3:30ish…and then woke back up to set my alarm clock back a few hours…and I still overslept. Now…I’m just tired. And cold. *sighs*

Stay Jazzed.

Living the Non-Religious Life

I’m so tired of my life. *sighs* That sentence seems a little over board… but…that is just how I feel. I feel like I am standing still…and I am so fucking tired of bitching about it.
I’m tired of not doing IT. I’m tired of not even knowing what IT is. *sighs* And there is the fact that I… I don’t know what I want. *sighs* A little emotional am I.
Umm…URGH! It’s really aggravating to lead a solitary life. This space here is totally NOT a appropriate substitute for talking to a human one on one… even though you folx here are totally wonderful…sometimes I need the bouncing back & forth interaction that can only be gained through interaction.

Okay…onto a totally different topic…
I read a book this weekend called Little X about a African-American woman’s experience of growing up under first the Nation of Islam, and then under Orthodox Islam. So much of what she said resonated with me that it was scary…at least during the period of her life while she was an Orthodox Muslim. One of the things that mostly resonated was how growing up as Muslim warped the second generation…as in the kids of the adults who had embraced the religion. The girls/women grew up mostly swearing to never end up as their mothers did, depending on a man for the money and life, while stuck in the home producing babies and cleaning up after them. Also this weekend I had a series of conversations with friends about the whole Jesse Jackson thing, and the combinations of these two conversations led me to realize just why I am not the member of any religion.

As I grew up, I saw the most… amazing feats of hypocrisy and out-and-out warping of the rules that were to guide all of us. *sighs* Those who were in positions of power…or those who were simply male, had it so so much better than the rest of us. Growing up as a girl who wanted more than to be a mother and a wife was a scary proposition. *sighs* I am not expressing this half as well as I feel it and I hate that. When I think back to the Muslim woman who was held up to the rest of us in the community as the example for the rest of us to follow was a woman who had 8 children, was the wife of the Imam (the religious leader) and whose entire life revolved around her children and her husband.

Perhaps it wouldn’t have been so bad if it wasn’t for the fact that they were on welfare because he felt that it was more important for him to be a good leader to the whole community (and more impressive besides) than it was for him to have a ‘real’ job and take proper care of his family. *sighs* I wonder what her daughters are doing now...whether they managed to live in that life, or if they managed to break free…or if they ever even realized that there was something to break free from. I know consciously that it isn’t really right nor fair of me to judge an entire religion by the twisted actions of a few, but as that is what I grew up with, that is what I have come to expect. And honestly, nothing that I have seen has led me to a different view of Islam in general. For a woman who wants more than to be a wife & a mother (not that there is anything wrong if that IS what you want) it sucks to be a Muslima. Period.

And I am not a Christian because I grew up as a Muslim, and I just have *thinks* too much knowledge of other paths and other ways to be even remotely saved, and going to church tends to creep me out on a very visceral level. I greatly enjoy the music…but that is it. *sighs* I haven’t figured out what it is…but there is just something about churches that rub me the wrong way…almost like hospitals. I just don’t like them.
*sighs* Anyway. I should be getting ready to go to sleep… but I simply don’t feel like it. *sighs* I know that I am…but…sometimes what happens in life…hell most times what happens in life is no where near as fulfilling as what you WANT to happen in life might be. And then… what if what I want to happen in my life is just as unfulfilling as what is (or is not) happening now? It’s too damn late/early to be philosophical…

Stay Jazzed.

Moving A-round

EEP!! There is nothing scarier than coming into your diary and seeing entries just GONE! *sighs* I wish they would make up their mind as to how they will set up the dates/entries in the diaries. Personally…I like the reading list being ordered by the author selected date on the entry and NOT the date that the entry was written on. I mean… what if you want to add stuff in from ages ago? Yesterday, all of the stuff was right where I wanted it…and now? *sighs* My Jazzy’s Rules of Dating & Relationships entry has been shoved back into the dark ages of this summer. *sighs* Ah well… maybe it’s a ‘sign’ that I won’t be needing to use them anytime soon.

I picked up my check yesterday. ARGH! It is going to barely be enough to cover my glasses, and mercy knows I am not going to be able to get anything exotic on them. Hopefully the super thin & light won’t be too much of an added price tag…and I think the tinting is out. *sighs* Not gonna bitch. I am get going to go and get the application and be done with it. Hopefully I will get the job.

I am trying to perfect a imitation cookie recipe. I want to figure out how to make cookies that taste and feel like Bordeaux cookies by Pepperidge Farm. I loveeeee those cookies, and they aren’t that high in calories, and they are WAYYY too expensive. So, I’m experimenting with baking them. This first batch has come out pretty darn good. Spicy, crispy, crunchy kinda cookie. Yum Yum Yum. The texture is almost perfect, but the taste is off. I think I need some almond flavoring instead of vanilla.

*groans* I read moonflower’s diary, and she was describing how she felt, and it sounded just like how I felt and she thinks she has mono, so I wonder if I have mono. Checked out the symptoms and they fit soo well. They have tested for strep (cuz I went back on Wednesday to see what was going on) and that is negative…so I don’t know. If I did it would have mostly run it’s course by now, so unless it flares up again, I won’t be worried.

It’s FRIDAY!!! Happy Happy joy joy. : ) umm. Yeah.

Stay Jazzed.

Nattering on...

I like to sleep. Not always because of the pure restfulness of it (though that is one reason) but mainly because of the dreams I have. I tend not to have really big, swooping grandiose dreams of flight and magic and love and all that kind of stuff. I tend to have just…dreams of me being in situations and places that are possible, but highly unlikely. *sighs* I am not making much sense of this here…and I don’t think that I will be able to. It’s hard to translate something from the sub-conscious, into the conscious, and then into the finger tips to transcribe the emotions that I feel into words that I can still understand. *sighs* I don’t know.
Lately I have been having a lot of dreams about friends, and about me with camera in hand. *sighs* I need…need…need to get into me.

Anyhow… I’m sleepy. It’s almost 11…and I am going to be staying late so that I can get my paycheck from those damn bartending people. I was up late (and drank waaayyyy too much) last night, after going out on a date with Chef. : ) We went to a ‘eat-in’ movie theater and saw Vertical Limit. Really good movie. Had it’s shocking & gory bits, but in general it was a really really good movie. I haven’t had that much fun in a while. But…another wonderful thing happened. The place that we were at has a bar. And the bar is looking for part time bartenders… HELLO! I am looking for a part-time (hopefully night time) job with someplace in the downtown area. *sighs* It would be sooo cool if I could get a job there. I forgot to grab a application on the way out as me & chef were in the middle of a mock argument about one of the characters in the movie…but I can swing by there on my way home one night. : ) Thrilled I am.

Umm… finally getting my check from those shiesty ass people at my bartending school tonight. *rolls eyes* I went through way way too much to get this damn check, but I will be able to get my glasses using it. : ) As the ear piece of my current pair just gave up the ghost, this is a very good thing. And as my current contacts are as about as easy to put in as it is to put a cat into a hot bathtub with running water, the convenience of being able to throw on some glasses will be very nice. And besides, glasses go really good with my hair. Speaking of which… I LOVE my hair. It has been acting sooo good, it is just amazing. No more days spent re-twisting…all I have to do to it is wash it every other week, put a nice herbal rinse in it, and every once it a while tighten up the roots as I go along. Even if I sit down and do the roots all at once.. it takes me no more than 2 hours. And it’s growing SOOOO well. : ) In the morning, all I have to do is get it a little wet to shake out the funny sleep shapes it ends up in, and I am set. *sighs* love love love my hair. *does a miniature happy little hair dance*

In a little under a week I am going to be a student again. : ( Nope… not thrilled in the LEAST…but I want my damn degree so that if I so choose to change jobs, I can do it and truly will HAVE a BS in CS. : ) So that will be something that I do to entertain myself at work until May. : )

Oh…and I feel a hell of a lot better. I think I was just sick some kind of way. *shrugs* I seem to have another mild viral infection in my throat (maybe I have tonsilitis?) but other than that…all of those muscle aches and foot hurting stuff is gone. My hands still cramp up, and I am still dehydrated as all get out, but…I feel a lot better. Hopefully this will last.

I have been keeping track of what I eat and when…I figure if I can show the doc a list of what I put into me.. he can tell me where I am going wrong. Though I have noticed that I don’t eat hardly enough fruits & veggies. Though really… I don’t see how anyone could really eat the whole USDA requirements of fruits and veggies in a single day. That is A LOT of food. Hmm.. speaking of which.. I’m off to lunch.


Stay Jazzed.

One before Lunch...

Who, at this very moment would you like to have next to you? Hmm…my darling Chef. (Yes, I know, I’m boring!)
What, at this very moment do you have an intense craving to eat? Umm..some really good Indian food.
What’s the last TV show you watched? Hmm..last night I was kinda watching Scooby-Doo. While reading. Does that count?
What's your favorite restaurant? Don’t have one…but my favourite (AHHH..been reading too many European diaries) fast food place would have to be McDonalds.
What do you absolutely hate? Disrespectful people.
What turns you on? Hmmm humor, intelligence, and a pair of lovely hands.
What's your favorite lunch? Don’t have one…I don’t have set ‘meal’ foods.
Philosophy? Ummm…huh?
Favorite breakfast? Ummm….I’d have to say pancakes with sunny side up eggs and soy sausage. Ummmmmm….
Favorite cartoon? Looney Tunes, hands down.
Favorite playground equipment? The SWING!
Favorite jewelry to wear? Hm. It was my class ring till it started irritating my skin, now I guess it would have to be my ‘mysterious’ symbol silver necklace.
Favorite Disney Movie: Hm. Mulan.
Have you ever won a contest? Uhhh… yeah.. I won two tickets to Lillith ’99.
Would you rather be deaf or blind? Deaf. Not being able to hear music, I would barely live with. Not being able to read? Kill me now.
What is your best quality? *grins* My so sunny pessimistic optimism.
What is your worst quality? See above.
Do you like to dance? Yup. *starts shaking what her momma gave her*
If you had a round trip ride in a Time Machine, when and where would you go? Umm. Hm. Don’t know. I like where I am now (though I hate my job) and I would be scared that if I changed anything in my personal time line I might end up someplace else. So…that said.. I would have to go to Ancient Egypt and see what was really going on.
If you could be invisible for one day what would you do? Ummm….*sighs* Steal simply loads of money.
If you could change your name what would it be? *grins* Jasmyn Black. Sounds like a spy doesn’t it?
Have you ever thought you were going to die? Yes. The night after my best friends prom as we were sneaking to the shore we ended up in this simply horrible accident and I KNEW I was done for.
One thing you hope to do before you die? See Egypt.
What do you think about lesbians? *grins* Some of my best friends are lesbian. Really.
If you could smack one famous person in the head who would it be? *thinks* Um. W. better known as Dub-ya. Ugh.
What is your deepest darkest secret? Don’t have any… at least not in here.
Who understands you more than anyone? Really not sure. .
What's a smell you can't stand? CHITLINS!
What was the worst thing you ever saw? ( I have to say I can’t compare to BridgetJ’s answer ) Nothing really… I have had a bit of a peaceful life.
Least favorite relative? My slimy ass uncle.
Something that most people don’t know about you? I have a half sister.
What was the worst thing you ever did? The worst? *thinks* Not sure.
What’s your favorite quote or phrase? Sounds like a personal problem to me.
What room is your computer in? The living room
What did you have for dinner last night? Three lovely all beef hotdogs and a big ole cup of water
Favorite time waster? The OD in general….
If you could’ve been born in anytime era what would it be? Hm. About a century from now.
Ever been skinny dipping? Yes… very fun. I felt like a true water child.
Favorite video? Umm.. I’m thinking “That’s the way Love Goes” by Ms. Jackson….


Ohhh… this is fun. I just keep an eye on Bridget and snatch her surveys. She has good taste in them too. : )

Oh..look Mom! Another survey....

*Name as it appears on your birth certificate: Something Aishah Something
*Nicknames: none…I was never popular enough, and my name doesn’t yield a nickname very well
*Number of candles that appeared on your last birthday cake: : ) Literally? On my last cake? Well the last time I had a cake I was turning 21, but there was only one candle on there (a 21 candle). However, I am 24.
*Date that you regularly blow them out: January 13
*Height: 5’6 (I think)
*Eye color: Dark Brown
*Piercing: two in each ear, used to be three, but the top one in my left ear refused to heal with an earring, so I let that set close
*Tattoos: none. Yet..
*Scars: Oh god…lots and lots. I scar easy and I was a clumsy child. Plus I like playing with fire. My latest? Umm…a burn mark on my thigh from FWCO*
*Birthplace: Washington DC
*Hometown: Umm…Indianapolis I guess.
HAVE YOU EVER?
...Been to Africa? no
...Been toilet-papering? nope
...Been toilet-papered? nope
...broken a law? Does it count if you have never been caught?
...been arrested? nope
...done drugs? Very few.
...been in the car with someone who had a gun? *thinks* I’m sure I have, but I didn’t know it.
...accidentally took a sip of spoiled milk, or on purpose? NO…I always perform the sniff & shake test first.
...Skinny-dipped? : ) uhh-huh… lots & lots of fun.
THIS? OR THAT?
Croutons or Bacon Bits: Bacon Bits…I like bacon
2 doors or 4 (on a car): 4
Coke or Pepsi: *sings* Alwaysssss Coca-Cola…yeeeahhhh … I lived in Atlanta for five years…what do you expect?
Coffee or Ice-cream: coffee ice cream
Blanket or Stuffed Animal? Blanket.
Bridges or Tunnels: bridges
adidas or Nike: yuck. Sneakers!
Nike or Reebok: see above
Adidas or Reebok: see above the aboe
jumping into a pool of hungry piranhas or sticking your hand into a lion's mouth: ummm the lion. Cats tend to like me.
pixie sticks or dixie chicks? *LOL* Earl’s gotta DIE!
Marilyn Manson or Hanson: um….YEECH! maybe?
slurpee or icee: Italian Ice….the authentic Philly kind
hot dogs or hamburgers: Hot doggggsss with lots of mustard & relish
McDonalds or Burger King: McDonalds, I don’t like my food burnt.
amish guy holding a slurpee or bob ross: Um…why would I have to choose one of them?
Disney Channel or Nickelodeon: Umm.. the old school Nick.
WORD ASSOCIATION:
RUBBER GLOVES:hair dye
ROCK: Do you smell what the ROCK is cooking?
MARY: magdalene
ALUMINUM FOIL:cookies
GREEN:beans
DENTAL FLOSS: mint
WET: soap
TIM: the tool man taylor
CRY: wolf
PEANUT BUTTER: and JELLY!
LAWN CHAIR:grass
HAY: fever
CHEESE: cream
SPUD: weiser?
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE...
... Salad Dressing: a nice Raspberry vinaigrette
...Phrase from a movie: "Lock & Load.” Data, in StarTrek: Insurrection.
..Saying: Sounds like a personal problem to me
...Favorite Holiday: Christmas. Only because of the vacation.
...Food: ice cream, Smartfood white Cheddar popcorn,
...Day of the week: Saturday. Sometimes Sunday.
...Joke: ohh I suck at telling jokes.
...Singer: Janet Jackson. Ms Jackson if ya nasty….
...Vacation Spot: Anywhere hot.. with sun & sand & sea.
...TV show: WWF. Raw is War & Smackdown. *sighs* The only shows I tape.
...swear word: fuck! It’s just soo…. Flexible.
...Toothbrush: ummm don’t have one.
...Restaurant: *thinks* don’t have one of those either
...Least Favorite Subject: Math.
...Sport to Watch: none.
...Love Song: Loving You by Minnie Ripperton
...Rap song: Push it by Salt & Peppa or anything off of TLC’s first album
...Country Song: no. that’s all.
...Sesame Street Character: ELMO!!
...Disney Character: Don’t have one…
...Fast Food Restaurant: McDonalds!!
...place to chill: my bed.
Miscellaneous Questions
If you could be any animal...what would you be and why?
A Royal Egyptian Cat. Why? *sighs* Spoiled, pampered, considered a goddess? Wny NOT?
If you could have one wish, what would it be? To have enough money to do anything I wanted.
If you could be any tool, what would it be and why? Ummm…none.
Do you want kids? Yep! Lots of em. At least three… maybe more.
What do you want to do when you grow up? Be free.
What’s your lifelong goal? To be happy in life
What do you think of school? I can’t wait until I am officailly DONE with it.
If you had a balloon launcher..what would you launch out of it? All of the baggage and history that I carry from my other relationships.

* (frying without clothes on)