Bitchin...

At least I'm healthy again, but now, I hate people.

I really don't want to be at work (and ooh, look, it's only noon) but that's most likely my eagerness to get home and start my vacation time.

C & I had a huge, stupid, fight last night, mostly because of a straw that broke this camels back, and him being thickheaded - I hate it when people agree with me just to shut me up - no, the conversation ain't over til it's done. *sigh*

Anyhow, now I'm all moody today because I know he's gonna be grumpy for at least two more days (oh, the delights of being married to a man moodier than you are)

And there's the trip 'home' that I have not planned for, thought about, prepped or packed for, and I know that I need to do all of that, as well, otherwise we'll leave Monday sometimes and spend the whole time at GMIL's house - and ugh. At least I've figured out our answer - we just brought a house, we're in no rush to have a baby! I have no issues whatsoever with lying to that bunch.

Hrm, what else? Had a wonderful potluck at work, and made a really good beans and rice recipe - used some Zatar, which gave it a nice full-bodied flavor. It really needs a hunk of ham to simmer with it, but I made it vegetarian so our veggie coworker would be able to eat it.

I've been spacing on taking my pills for the last few days - either walked out the house without them, or never took them at work. *shrug* I don't know - I know I need to be still taking them, but missing a day or two here and there doesn't seem to be too bad. I take them at night pretty faithfully, so it's not even a whole day, it's just a dose that I'm missing.

I SOOOOOOOOO want this day to fly by. Please?

Babymaking Notes....

To make a girlbaby....

1) An acidic environment is preferential to female sperm penetration of the ovum.
2) An acidic douche she is decreasing the possibility of failure, as the douche will immobilise most of the male producing sperm.
3) An acidic environment favors girl sperm and kills male sperm. Creamy CM favors girl sperm. pH should be
below 7.00 (neutral). pH higher than that is alkaline. When trying for a girl, a pH level around 5 or 4 is
best. Anything below that will probably kill the sperm.

4) Foods: ALKALIZING
VEGETABLES
Alfalfa
Barley Grass
Beets
Beet Greens
Broccoli
Cabbage
Carrot
Cauliflower
Celery
Chard Greens
Chlorella
Collard Greens
Cucumber
Dandelions
Dulce
Edible Flowers
Eggplant
Fermented Veggies
Garlic
Green Beans
Green Peas
Kale
Kohlrabi
Lettuce
Mushrooms
Mustard Greens
Nightshade Veggies
Onions
Parsnips (high glycemic)
Peas
Peppers
Pumpkin
Radishes
Rutabaga
Sea Veggies
Spinach, green
Spirulina
Sprouts
Sweet Potatoes
Tomatoes
Watercress
Wheat Grass
Wild Greens

ALKALIZING
ORIENTAL VEGETABLES
Maitake
Daikon
Dandelion Root
Shitake
Kombu
Reishi
Nori
Umeboshi
Wakame

ALKALIZING
FRUITS
Apple
Apricot
Avocado
Banana (high glycemic)
Berries
Blackberries
Cantaloupe
Cherries, sour
Coconut, fresh
Currants
Dates, dried
Figs, dried
Grapes
Grapefruit
Honeydew Melon
Lemon
Lime
Muskmelons
Nectarine
Orange
Peach
Pear
Pineapple
Raisins
Raspberries
Rhubarb
Strawberries
Tangerine
Tomato
Tropical Fruits
Umeboshi Plums
Watermelon

ALKALIZING
PROTEIN
Almonds
Chestnuts
Millet
Tempeh (fermented)
Tofu (fermented)
Whey Protein Powder

ALKALIZING
SWEETENERS
Stevia

ALKALIZING
SPICES & SEASONINGS
Cinnamon
Curry
Ginger
Mustard
Chili Pepper
Sea Salt
Miso
Tamari
All Herbs

ALKALIZING
OTHER
Apple Cider Vinegar
Bee Pollen
Lecithin Granules
Molasses, blackstrap
Probiotic Cultures
Soured Dairy Products
Green Juices
Veggie Juices
Fresh Fruit Juice
Mineral Water
Alkaline Antioxidant Water

ALKALIZING MINERALS
Cesium: pH 14
Potassium: pH 14
Sodium: pH 14
Calcium: pH 12
Magnesium: pH 9

Although it might seem that citrus fruits would have an acidifying effect on the body, the citric acid they contain actually has an alkalinizing effect in the system.

Checking the pH of you cm is vital to understand how girl friendly your cm is. You can purchase litmus paper/pH strips. The best way to test your pH is after checking your cervix position, do a sweep with your
finger and then pull out and rub the cm on the pH paper. It will change color immediately indicating
your current pH. For ttc a girl, you want a pH between 4 and 5. Anything over 5 is boy favorable and anything
lower than 4 is to hostile to all sperm.

Cranberry: This is used to make your pH more acidic
and to dry up your cm and make it more creamy. The
amount depends on your specific body and how it
tolerates the cranberry. Some women take a small dose
around 1800mg, where others take up to 10,000mg. Begin
with a low dose and increase as necessary to achieve
desired results. Taken daily from AF till OV has been
confirmed.

Calcium/Magnesium: These supplements are the backbone
to making your environment girl friendly. Theory has
it that the calcium/magnesium help to attract the girl
(x) sperms to the egg. Dosage should be around Cal/Mag
1000/400mg. Taken daily from AF until OV has been
confirmed.

Vitamin D: This is important to help with calcium
absorption. Take one pill daily from AF until OV has
been confirmed.

Folic Acid: This is essential to anyone ttc, as it
helps prevent birth defects. Dosage is 400mcg-800mcg
daily.

Sudafed: This is used to dry up ewcm. Doesn't matter
what type and follow directions on the box. You can
use this leading up to OV or just before BD or only
when you notice ewcm. If taking before BD to dry up
ewcm, make sure and take it atleast an hour before

Vitex: This is a supplement that has had great reviews
for those that have gotten pg with a girl! Its also
great for those with irregular cycles. However, it
takes 3 months to get into your system and for some
women it can cause their OV to vary, be earlier or
come later. Follow suggested dosage and take from AF
until OV.

Recommended WHILE TRYING FOR A GIRL
AS much milk as possible (1 1/3pts or 770ml a day)
Fresh cream, yoghurt
Limited meat or fish (1 1/4 oz - 125g a day)
Unsalted butter, unsalted soft cheese (I think Philadelphia OK but check)
Milk puddings
Salt free wholemeal bread, crisp-bread & pastry, without yeast
Rice, pasta, semolina, tapioca
Limited amount of potatoes (doesnt say how much)
Fresh or frozen carrots, green beans, turnips, aubergines, onions, leeks, peas, cucumber, radishes, peppers, cress, celeriac, celery.
Unsalted walnuts, hazelnuts, almonds, peanuts
Fresh or frozen or tinned apples, pears, clementines, strawberries, raspberries
Tinned only pineapples, plums & peaches all WITHOUT syrup
Jam once daily, sugar, honey
Vegetable oils, spices, home-made sauces without salt
Mineral Water

FORBIDDEN WHILE TRYING FOR A GIRL
Salt & salt substitute, all salted or smoked foods, including salty cheese
Coffee, tea, tinned fruit juice, fizzy drinks wine, beer, cider, liqueurs, aperitifs
All meat & fish except for daily allowance above
white bread, pastries & biscuits, unless salt free; crisps
sweetcorn, popcorn, parsley, spinach, cabbage, cauliflower, mushrooms, courgettes, endive, avocados, fennel, raw tomatoes, soya beans, dried peas and beans.
All fresh fruit except for those listed above as allowed, dried fruit
Chocolate & sweets
Bicarbonate of soda & all prepared sauces
All ready made dishes whether tinned, fresh or frozen.

Stuff TO do...

Compare "isfet and Apophis" as well as "ma'at and Ma'at" - one repestenting the concept, the other the god who emobides to concept - Assman, maybe??

Put together recipes for next week.

Calculate the calories in the bacon pasta.

Food Rut = Weight Stuck??

My comment in the last entry about being in a food rut made me want to go and google it, and this is an article it came up with - which is interesting, and kinda scary too. I wonder how much of my weight loss was because I was a) eating less and b) eating foods I had NEVER eaten before?? Interesting, interesting.

 

Fat Loss:
Food Rotation Can Help You
By James Williams,
Nutrition and Lifestyle Coach Level 2, Cranial Sacral Therapist, London

For many of us, just eating organic food isn’t enough if we want to lose fat.

Your body loves it when you eat unprocessed organic foods because they contain no toxins that end up being stored as fat. Your body appreciates you even more when you include lots of variety. Feeding your body a varied diet is called food rotation and is essential for fat loss and good health. How many days each week do you:

Eat the same foods for breakfast?
Order the same meals from the menu when you eat out?
Make or take-out identical lunches every day?
Get hooked on one food and then eat it to until you’re bored with it?
When I look at food diaries, it often reveals the scary picture that most people only eat up to 12 different foods! If this was the way things were meant to be, then why did Mother Nature give us thousands of varieties of fruits, vegetables, grains? We were meant to eat a varied diet and have done so for thousands of years.

If the "food police" searched your refridgerator tonight, what variety of healthy organic foods would they find?

So, how do you know whether you are stuck in a food rut and need to rotate? Caroline Mein, the author of Different Bodies, Different Diets, defines "rut eating" as eating the same thing three to four days in a row. People also rut eat when they consume the same food at the same mealtime every day. Many off-the-shelf diet books are in fact just rut eating regimes. They fail to include food rotation in their eating plans and take no account of the fact that your body is different from everybody elses! These are two of the key reasons why they do not work. Why rotating your foods will help reduce body fat:

1. Eating the same foods stresses the pancreas because it is continually producing the same enzymes to break the foods down. As the enzyme levels become depleted it results in poor digestion and makes it hard to extract energy from what you ate. The brain detects that your last meal didn’t provide you with enough sustained energy, so it stimulates you to eat yet again. The extra food costs you more money and subtly piles on the pounds.

2. A stressed pancreas may disregulate your blood sugar and trigger bouts of low energy. This causes you to overeat in a bid to get more energy, causing weight gain.

3. You are less likely to develop food sensitivities which rob your body of energy. This means you’ll have more energy available for building health and shedding fat.

4. You will be less likely to binge on treats because your palate is stimulated by a variety of tastes.

Now that you know how important food rotation is, how do you do it?

One of the main methods is based on taxonomy where foods are grouped together by their relationships in nature. This may work well for people with significant health problems. However, a more practical method of food rotation is to eat a specific food only once every four days. Quite simply it means if you eat beef on on Monday, then don’t eat it again until Friday. This approach has been used by well-respected holistic health practitioner Paul Chek, and his clients have found it very successful, particularly those with busy lives. Now that you know how to rotate your foods and that rotation will help you lose weight, you are ready to start.

Review your food diary and notice repetitive food patterns. Try a scientific experiment - for the next week, add more variety. Buy different fruits and vegetables at the grocery. Try at least one new recipe. Eat at a different restaurant. At the end of the week, notice your energy level and read the scale. Your body will definitely reward you for your decision!

Foodlove

So, I want to start putting together at least a rough menu for the month, so that we can start eating healthier. I figured that a good place to start would be to list out what we usually eat, and then just - organize it.

I started doing that, and realized that really, the problem is a bit bigger than that. I am sitting here, racking my brains for recipes/edibles - and I realized that even when we cook at home - it's all about the fast food. Sandwiches, soups, barbeque, pasta - it's all 'fast' cooked - and really, there ain't that much - wiggleroom, I guess. The funny part is that, really - I would like to make 'real' meals - but I just don't know WHAT to make. I mean - there is a wide, wide world of food out there, and I feel a bit - challenged by all the choices. And the fact that I'm married to a chef really doesn't help - it's a slightly different world in a professional kitchen vs. a personal one.

What sort of food would I LIKE to cook? Healthy stuff - not lowfat/lowcalorie - but more, fresh veggies and fresh meats, and nothing much out of a box. Less bread, less pasta (because that's usually our fallback position - spaghetti or a sandwich). More fish - which I love, but haven't had at home in - ages! But not super expensive, either - we are trying to stick to a certian amount of monet being spent on groceries a week. I love lebanese, indian, asian, thai, greek, morrocan food - but they all require some pretty specific ingredients. During the summer time - cool stuff. Salads, yes, but - filling salads. Stuff that I can have leftovers to take to work with me the next day. Stuff that is satisfying, yummy, and healthy. And, really at this point in time, I'm saying screw lowcarb. If I can find a lowcarb version (like Dreamfields pasta) okay - but if not - *nods* I want my brown rice, dammit!

I honestly don't know where to start. *laughs* It seems like the first thing to do, really - is collect recipes. But - I'm drawing a blank! *lol* I need to 'jumpstart' my brain and check out some recipe websites.

*sigh* More later, I'm sure.

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Later....

Well - I just started brainstorming, and this is the list of food I've come up with - not saying it's going on a menu, just - THINKING about it. *shakes head* I know that I'm being far, far too limited - but my brain isn't very strechy, foodwise. Hm...I'll definitely have to get help from C.

Indian Yogurt Rice
Stuffed Grape Leaves
Hot Eggs and Noodles
Couccous
Falafel
Hummus
Feta
Parsely Salad
Barbequed Ribs
Baked Beans
Spaghetti
Fried Rice
Grilled Pork Chops
Creamed Spinach
Chicken Ceaser Salad
Hot Wings
Cheesy Cauliflower
Enchiladas
Grilled Cheese Sandwich
Meatloaf
Lasagna
Avacados
Tuna Salad
Salmon Cakes
Noodley Stirfry
Something Soup
Hamburgers
Quiche
Pesto Pasta
Pasta Carbonara
Hot Dogs
Sandwiches
Garlic Spinach
Pita Bread
Greens
Beef Stroganoff

The other thing is - it's HOT. And we don't have central air. Which means, really, I'm not trying to bake a lot (no bread days) and would rather not boil much (though I can just suck the steam up via the vent fan), and honestly - I'm not big on really - HEAVY stuff. But the light stuff ain't quick, and usually needs a bit of 'steeping' time. Not complaining, just thinking outloud and wandering about in my head.

And I don't have nearly enough good, ethnic food. *laughs* I've got an old copy of Back to Eden, and I'm seriously considering going through that and pulling out recipes - maybe two or three nights a week, making something from there.

I'm tired of bieng in a food rut!!

More about Food....

So, like I said before, we are back on the low-carb wagon, and it's been interesting, because we've been off it for a while. One of the things that I LOVE about lowcarbing it is that it FORCES you to explore new foods and new ways of eating old foods. For a person who loves food, it's - so damn cool, basically.

The funny part is - we've forgotten a lot of that stuff, and as we go along, we are starting to remember it again. I've had to make a list of stuff that we need to buy next time we go grocery shopping that is PERFECT for us, but we just forgot about. I figure I'll stash the list here (so I can update it from work or from home).

Out of The Ordinary LC Foods
1) Spaghetti squash (not super un-ordinary, we just didn't buy any)
2) Miso Soup (ummmmm, yuuummm)

Breakfast Studies....

So - I went out, and searched on 'weight loss breakfast study' and the results are MOST interesting. For the studies/articles that were fully listed online, I've provided links. My commentary on the studies and how they relate to me follows.  

 

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 http://www.obesityresearch.org/cgi/content/full/10/2/78

Objective: To examine breakfast consumption in subjects maintaining a weight loss in the National Weight Control Registry (NWCR).
Research Methods and Procedures: A cross-sectional study in which 2959 subjects in the NWCR completed demographic and weight history questionnaires as well as questions about their current breakfast consumption. All subjects had maintained a weight loss of at least 13.6 kg (30 lb) for at least 1 year; on average these subjects had lost 32 kg and kept it off for 6 years.
Results: A large proportion of NWCR subjects (2313 or 78%) reported regularly eating breakfast every day of the week. Only 114 subjects (4%) reported never eating breakfast. There was no difference in reported energy intake between breakfast eaters and non-eaters, but breakfast eaters reported slightly more physical activity than non-breakfast eaters (p = 0.05).
Discussion: Eating breakfast is a characteristic common to successful weight loss maintainers and may be a factor in their success

My Comments: The main thing I pulled from this one is that people who tend to expend more energy, tended to eat breakfast. Which makes sense, because I know that when I'm lifting, I usually NEED something in the morning, because I'll wake up hungry. I also noticed that the abstract finished off just saying that breakfast MAY be a factor in keeping the weight off. I'm thinking the physical activity helped more than breakfast did.

 

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http://www.nutrition.org/cgi/content/full/127/1/75

The purpose of this study was to determine whether meal ingestion pattern [large morning meals (AM) vs. large evening meals (PM)] affects changes in body weight, body composition or energy utilization during weight loss. Ten women completed a metabolic ward study of 3-wk weight stabilization followed by 12 wk of weight loss with a moderately energy restricted diet [mean energy intake ± SD  = 107 ± 6 kJ/(kg·d)] and regular exercise. The weight loss phase was divided into two 6-wk periods. During period 1, 70% of daily energy intake was taken as two meals in the AM (n = 4) or in the PM (n = 6). Subjects crossed over to the alternate meal time in period 2. Both weight loss and fat-free mass loss were greater with the AM than the PM meal pattern: 3.90 ± 0.19 vs. 3.27 ± 0.26 kg/6 wk, P < 0.05, and 1.28 ± 0.14 vs. 0.25 ± 0.16 kg/6 wk, P < 0.001, respectively. Change in fat mass and loss of body energy were affected by order of meal pattern ingestion. The PM pattern resulted in greater loss of fat mass in period 1 (P < 0.01) but not in period 2. Likewise, resting mid-afternoon fat oxidation rate was higher with the PM pattern in period 1 (P < 0.05) but not in period 2, corresponding with the fat mass changes. To conclude, ingestion of larger AM meals resulted in slightly greater weight loss, but ingestion of larger PM meals resulted in better maintenance of fat-free mass. Thus, incorporation of larger PM meals in a weight loss regimen may be important in minimizing the loss of fat-free mass.

My Comments: This one I found very interesting. Basically,  stacking your calories towards the beginning of the day causes you to lose weight faster - but you are also losing muscle mass. However, by stacking your calories towards the END of the day, you lose weight slower - but you preserve more muscle. Personally, I'd rather take my time, eat late, and keep that fat burning muscle around.

 

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2: American Journal of Clinical Nutrition. 1992 Mar;55(3):645-51.
The role of breakfast in the treatment of obesity: a randomized clinical trial.
Schlundt DG, Hill JO, Sbrocco T, Pope-Cordle J, Sharp T.
Department of Psychology, Vanderbilt University, Nashville, TN 37240.
Fifty-two moderately obese adult women were stratified according to their
baseline breakfast-eating habits and randomly assigned a weight-loss program.
The no-breakfast group ate two meals per day and the breakfast group ate three
meals per day. The energy content of the two weight-loss programs was identical.
After the 12-wk treatment, baseline breakfast eaters lost 8.9 kg in the
no-breakfast treatment and 6.2 kg in the breakfast treatment. Baseline breakfast
skippers lost 7.7 kg in the breakfast treatment and 6.0 kg in the no-breakfast
treatment. This treatment-by-strata-by-time interaction effect (P less than
0.06) suggests that those who had to make the most substantial changes in eating
habits to comply with the program achieved better results. Analyses of
behavioral data suggested that eating breakfast helped reduce dietary fat and
minimize impulsive snacking and therefore may be an important part of a
weight-reduction program.
Publication Types:
    Clinical Trial
    Randomized Controlled Trial
PMID: 1550038 [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE]

My Comments: This comment here just about says it all: "Analyses of behavioral data suggested that eating breakfast helped reduce dietary fat and minimize impulsive snacking and therefore may be an important part of a weight-reduction program." So - it's not really eating breakfast that makes a difference, it's making GOOD food choices all day long that makes the difference.

 

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 http://www.mealsmatter.org/EatingForHealth/Topics/article.aspx?articleId=5

(quoting sections of the article)

When you skip breakfast, your metabolic rate slows down and your blood sugar drops. As a result, you become hungry and have less energy. This sets you up to impulsively snack in the morning - often on high-fat sweets - or to eat extra servings or bigger portions at lunch or dinner. When you eat breakfast, your body feels nourished and satisfied, making you less likely to overeat the rest of the day.

 

My Comments: Once again, this article is focusing on the 'fact' that eating breakfast prevents you from getting so hungry that you run to the vending machine at 10am and grab the first thing that looks good due to HUNGER. Or you eat your lunch and your coworkers lunch, and STILL grab something out of the vending machine.  If, let's say - you aren't starving YOURSELF - you aren't going to run for the vending machine or eat a huge lunch - breakfast or not.  

 

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http://www.azcentral.com/arizonarepublic/arizonaliving/articles/0519breakfast0519.html

 

(quoting sections of the article)

 

Does it matter? Do we really need that meal in the morning?

Some current research suggests that yes, we do.
• A recent study of 16,452 American adults, reported in Harvard Men's Health Watch, a medical school newsletter, found that skipping breakfast wasn't a good way to manage weight. Those who ate a healthful breakfast tended to be leaner than breakfast skippers.
• A 2002 study of people in the National Weight Control Registry, a group of more than 3,000 people who have lost at least 30 pounds and kept the weight off for at least a year, showed that those who had maintained long-term weight loss were usually breakfast eaters, and the researchers concluded it may have been a factor in their success.
• In another study, reported on the popular health Web site WebMD, scientists found that women who skipped breakfast ate more during the rest of the day and had higher levels of LDL, or bad, cholesterol.

But it's also worth noting that the funding for the first study (and many others) was provided by the Kellogg Co., one of the world's leading producers of breakfast cereal, so perhaps it's not surprising the researchers stressed that eating ready-to-eat cereal is a good thing.
In the second study, the scientists found that eating breakfast was a characteristic common to many of the successful weight-loss maintainers but did not conclude that it caused their success.
As for the last study, it involved only 10 women who skipped breakfast for two weeks. Earlier research on the effects of omitting breakfast using overweight subjects had been inconclusive, according to WebMD.
Breakfast, says Bonnie Liebman, director of nutrition at the Center for Science in the Public Interest, is a non-issue for healthy adults.

 

My Comments: Oh, this article had me snickering. Especially considering I HAD noticed that a lot of the surveys mentioned starting your day with a 'fiber-rich cereal like Z, Y, or X blahblahblah'. Yup, most of these breakfast studies are funded by the very people trying to SELL breakfast. How sneaky is that? How much credibility can these studies REALLY have - especially considering not ONE of them came out and baldly stated that either a) Breakfast (in and of itself) HELPS you lose weight. nor b) That breakfast - in and of itself - keeps your metabolism going. But then - I didn't include metabolism as one of my search words.... let me see what I can dig up if I do that.

 

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http://www.charlotte.com/mld/charlotte/news/nation/12601456.htm

 

(quoting from the article)

 

"We think it kick-starts your metabolism because you've eaten something," Barton said. "When you get to lunch you're not starving and you can make reasonable choices for lunch and dinner."

John Kirwan, a professor of medicine at Case Western Reserve University's Schwartz Center for Nutrition and Metabolism, said the findings may be "more reflective of overall eating habits and quality of food consumed."

"Those who eat breakfast on a regular basis are more likely to have a structured eating plan throughout the day and consequently are less likely to snack between meals and consume empty calories," said Kirwan, who has studied the effect of breakfast consumption on exercise performance and was not involved in the study.

My Comments: This is actually one of those 'cereal' studies, which proved that teenage girls who ate cereal in the morning tended to be slimmer than those who did not. But once again - even the study author (Barton) said that they THINK it kick-starts the metabolism, but they were SURE that it helped the study participants make better food choices through out the day - which may or may not really have anything to do with eating breakfast.

 

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Overall, I got one main point from all of these studies, which quite simply is:
Eating breakfast helps you make better meal choices during the rest of the day. Now, if you are already making GOOD meal choices, you aren't eating empty calories or randomly snacking, and you aren't hungry - what's the point of eating breakfast again? There's not ONE study that I could find that conclusively proves that breakfast 'kickstarts' your metabolism.
And then - there's the blood suger bit. I don't do hunger, and I don't do low blood sugar. I get REALLY ugly headaches when my blood sugar drops, and I just don't LIKE being hungry. It's a nasty, nasty feeling.
I'm wondering, if the fact that I tend to eat within 3 hours of going to bed, instead of stopping eating 4-5 hours before I go to sleep, makes a difference? I wonder, how much of the food I ate the night before is still getting the calories and nutrients sucked out of it in my digestive system once I wake up. The digestive system goes to sleep when you do - so maybe that's why I'm not hungry early in the morn - my body still has food to process.

Interesting, interesting, interesting. I LOVE looking at studies for stuff that people consider to be 'givens'. The articles that focus on the abstracts usually don't outline the full span - or the full results of the study.

So - will I be eating breakfast? I'm still not sure - I might - just something little, something under a 100 calories, like a boiled egg, or a piece of cheese or something, and see 1) If I get hungier quicker - which to me would be an indication that my metabolism IS burning faster, and thus my body needs more fuel and 2) if I lose weight any faster.

Hm. That's an interesting thought. If I am MORE hungry on the days I eat breakfast - I will most likely consume MORE calories in a day than I would if I didn't. Now, is the resultant increase in my metabolic rate going to balance out the additional calories? Cuz see, like I said earlier, I don't DO hunger. I've never 'stuck' on a lowcal/lowfat diet because of that very reason. If I'm hungry, I'm going to eat, period - and sometimes 3 celery sticks simply AREN'T going to satisfy me. The lowcal/lowcarb diet works for me, because - well, I'm not hungry. Which also means I can make good food choices all day long.

This was fun.... I think I'm going to dig up some more metabolism studies....

More about Food....

So, I was thinking about this more last night - as I was eating a lovely, lovely, dinner.
Hunger - to me - is like the 'Low Fuel' warning light for your body's gas tank. Your body isn't going to let you run totally OUT of fuel before it says - hey! Dumbass! Eat something! That would be stupid on a purely survival level.
Anyhow....the whole breakfast thing...eh. I don't know. Once again - it's the battle between how everyone says you SHOULD eat, and the concept of not eating unless you're hungry.

I suppose I could start eating SOMETHING in the morning. The thought actually makes my tummy clench a little - and it just doesn't seem RIGHT. And if eating breakfast causes me to eat LESS food during the day - I'm really going to be SOL. And then of course - how soon do you have to eat after waking up for it to count as 'breakfast'. And ya know - there was a study done about which was more valuable - breakfast or extra sleep in the morning, and the sleep won. Sleep is a large reason why I don't eat breakfast - I'm not one of those people who wake up an hour and a half before they have to leave for work and putter about the house, watching the news and ironing clothes. No. I get up, and I am out of the house in 20 minutes - and I'm STILL usually running a little late. So - does eating something 2 hours after I wake up count as breakfast? 3 hours? 4?

*laughs*

Hmmm... of course, I have noticed that the earlier I wake up, the quicker I tend to get hungry in the morning - so if I WAS one of those people who got up much before they had to go to work, I would most likely actually be hungy enough to EAT breakfast.

*sigh* I still think I should trust my body over some scientist who doesn't know me. Eh, maybe I do need to go and talk to a nutritionist. *laughs* I betcha she'll tell me to eat when I'm hungry too.

Anyhow! Enough about when I eat, let's talk about WHAT I eat.

Breakfast/Early Snack: Protein of some sort - a boiled egg, piece of cheese, protien bar. Usually something very, very, very, small. Under 100 calories easy.
Lunch: Lately it's been a protien shake - funnily enough, I'd rather eat a quick lunch AT work so that I can leave earlier rather than leaving, taking my hour, and then having to stay longer. Damn that. The shakes haven't been too bad - and I figure that they are a HECK of a lot cheaper than actually going out to get lunch since a 4 pack is 5 bucks - which is less than I would spend for lunch on ONE day. And - they aren't FILLING, perse - I miss the whole 'chewing' bit - but I am satisfied and not hungry until dinner. And of course, they are convienent as a MUG. And naturally, they are disgustingly low-cal and low-carb.
Dinner: Oooohhh - my favorite meal. No real consistency here - usually meat & a salad of some type. I looooovvvveee salads (green/fresh/crunchy/salty/chewy/ cheesey/spicy), and somehow, I forget about this love when I'm not trying to be lowcarb. I could acutally do the salad thing for lunch but - ugh, so not convienent. And going out for salads are a real rip-off....though there IS this pizza place up the street that has a 4.99 lunch buffet and has a pretty damn nice salad selection. Hmm.... maybe that will be my Friday lunchtime treat spot.

And then, of course, once I start lifting weights again - I know that my early appetite will ramp up, and my late appetite will ramp down, so I might have to revisit this whole dang thing in about a week. Still... it's interesting.

I think I'll go and look up studies about weight loss differences between people who ate breakfast and people who didn't.

Ahhh, Food.

I'm so - confused, I guess would be the best word, about my eating habits.

I was always one who agreed with the concept that you shouldn't eat unless you were hungry - which to me, makes perfect sense. You want your BODY to tell you when it's time to eat, not the clock. 
But - at the same time, all of the 'recommendations' around eating healthy say that you should not skip meals, and you should eat 5-6 small meals daily - with no mention of hunger.
So - to me, it seems like these two things only work in concert if you are actually HUNGRY 5-6 times a day. If you aren't - you are ignoring your bodies requests for food, and feeding yourself whether you really NEED to eat or not.
And then, of course, there's the concept that you should never skip a meal if you don't want to slow down your metabolism - which once again, doesn't fit in with only eating when you are hungry - and this is where it starts to impact me.

Simply put, I don't GET hungry until around *thinks* 10ish or so usually, and even then, I'm usually not really HUNGRY, I'm in the mood for a snack. If I eat something then (something as small as a protien bar, or anything that DOESN'T have a high carb level) I'm usually simply NOT hungry again until 4 or 5.  If I force myself to eat early in the morning (having something resembling breakfast - anytime before 10) I won't get hungy again until around 4 or 5, completely skipping the hunger signals for 'lunch'. My NORMAL hunger patterns have me eating actual meals twice a day - once in the early afternoon, and again in the mid-evening. When I'm not working, my NATURAL sleep/eating pattern goes something along these lines:
Wake up around 11am
Eat the first meal of the day around 3pm or 4pm
Eat something small around 9pm
Eat another meal around 12am or 1am
Go to sleep around 3 or 4

When I am working, it's more along these lines
Wake up around 7am
Eat the first meal of the day around 12pm
Eat something small around 5pm
Eat another meal around 9pm
Go to sleep around 12am

So....it looks like I generally get hungry for the first time around 4 hours after I wake up. Then I'm hungry enough to want a snack about 5 hours later. Then I hungry again about 3 or 4 hours after that, and then I go to sleep about 3 hours after my last meal of the day. My biggest meal of the day when I'm working is the last one, and when I'm not working is the first one. I've realized that the reason I eat a larger last meal when I'm working is because I'm actually at HOME and can cook & eat precisely what I want to eat, and don't have to 'make-do' with something else.  

Interesting. I've never actually written it out like that...... I suppose I could make my 'snack' more substantial, and call that the third meal of the day.

It's interesting and frustrating, because I've NEVER been an overeater. I've always been the kind of person who eats when she's hungry, and stops once she's full - though I've been known to push myself to gorged when I drink with meals. But at the same time,  everywhere I look, there is information telling me that eating WHEN it feels right to me, and not eating when I'm not hungry - is screwing up my appetite and my metabolism. I've spent all morning trying to find information about a linkage between how hungry you are, and how your metabolism responds. I can understand that denying yourself food when you ARE hungry (starving yourself) is a bad thing, but if you aren't hungry, you CAN'T be starving yourself, right? And if you AREN'T starving yourself, not eating 5-6 meals a day shouldn't be screwing up your metabolism, right?  And if my metabolism isn't screwed up, then eating 1500 calories a day should almost guarentee weight loss, right?

*sighs*

I'm thinking about all of this because me & C are going back on the low-carb bandwagon, and heaven KNOWS that I have even LESS of an appetite when I'm low carbing it, and I can EASILY drop below 1500 calories a day - and STILL not be hungry. But if your caloric intake is too low, your metabolism stalls, and you don't lose weight. But what's too low? Is too low a number, or should too low be determined by whether your body NEEDS food? And really, if I have a naturally slow metabolism, I don't MIND - not in the least. I'm not trying to jumpstart it, I'm not trying to speed it up - I just want/need to know how to work WITH it to achieve my goals.

Anyhow, to try and get a handle on this, I'm doing a couple of very important things.
Firstly, I'm eating ONLY what I want, when I want it.
Secondly, I'm going to supply myself with mini-meals for work. So far, I've got a drawer full of protien bars, because it's small enough that it'll be perfect for that late afternoon 'snackiness' - which honestly, I do sometimes tend to ignore if it's within 45 minutes or so of me going home. I'm considering trying  a shake for lunch - but only if I don't have a SPECIFIC taste for anything. I'm going to keep my largest meal of the day as dinner, because I can control what I eat and match it to want I WANT to eat easiest at that time.
Thirdly, I'm finally writing down EVERYTHING that passes my lips - except water  - AND what time I eat. I know that I drink a minimum of 1/2 gallon of water a day, and I usually shoot for a full gallon, which is just about how much I should be drinking. I'm going to tally it up at the end of the week - because right now I just want to see what my NATURAL habits are.

Me & C are also working on a exercise program we can do together. I'm still doing Tabata Intervals on the Gazelle (bastards that they are) but once it warms up a little bit, we will start walking after I get home from work.

I just refuse to believe that I'm supposed to be fat. I refuse to believe that my body WANTS to lug around all of this extra weight, and I do believe that if I could actually get really in touch with what I NEED and when I NEED it...... that the weight will - well, at least stabilize at a slightly lower, slightly healthier level.
Is that foolish to believe that the human body instinctively knows what it needs to be healthy, and that it's the misinterpetation that our well-trained (or mistrained) brains put on it that screws us up? I don't think so - simply because of babies. A healthy baby that eats when and how much it wants to doesn't get obese UNLESS there is some underlying health problem. Why can't I do the same?

Tsk....I'm being boring....

I'm still digesting the DISGUSTING amount of food we cooked for our Very First Thanksgiving - so much damn food, it was ridiculous - seriously. Okay - anyhow, I'm suckworthy at noting & keeping up with people.....but I'm reading, I swear I am!!!
Okay - really I'm totally distracted because I FINALLY have my computer back (the odd combination of laptop and desktop that it is now) and I've been delighting in having meh own STHUFF!!!!

Dense,

chewy, warm, smooth, rich, crunchy, tender, sweet, buttery, finger-linking good - bread. My. God. I really forgot JUST how freaking good homemade bread is - I'm definitely going to have to start 'playing' with sourdough bread. And damn - as I was making bread, I realized just why americans are so fat. We don't have to 'work' for our food. Making a single loaf of bread took about 4 hours from start to finish (not of constant work) and - it was HARD work. Man - my arms were getting tired just kneading.
But damn. *licks fingers, lips, and anything that came in contact with the bread* is it good. And - I can't imagine eating this bread in a SANDWICH. Or - more accurately, I now understand why people could live off of bread and water.  This is a WHOLE nother level of bread, ya'll.

 

Updates....

Been doing some navelgazing (more like mad researching) and have settled rather comfortably into acceptance of the fact that at our current income, if prices keep going up, we won't be able to afford the life we lead now. It's odd, but I'm perfectly okay with that - and actually trying to gear up and prepare for the challenge.

So - put together a budget, and found (much to me & C's shock) that we can actually be DEBTFREE in a year! A YEAR! and - we will still have a healthy sum of money to live off of. We should have enough money to live off of that if we CAN'T live off of that money, we seriously need to bring our spending into check.

I had my last cigarette yesterday. I pop a 'Zyban' twice a day, and sport an absolutely hideous 'nicotine patch' on my left shoulder. The reason they are both in quotes is because I'm part of a Quit Smoking Study, and as it's a blind study, one of them could easily be a placebo - or I could be getting double doses of the real stuff. Anyone who take Zyban - do the pills SMELLL to high heaven? I mean - damn, these suckers STINK. Thankfully, they have no taste.  So far - the hardest bit has been while driving - I'm so used to puffing through at least half of my 20 minute commute home. I'm popping a cinnamon tictac to make up for it - so far, not too bad. Work has been a breeze - I've told my coworkers I've quit - so they are leaving me alone. Had a BIT of a headache on and off all day - but I'm trying to suck down massive quantities of water to make up for it.

I need to find the Farmers Market everybody keeps telling me about - I suspect that it's no where near midtown, and really - I'm the kind of person who will balance whether the distance I drive for cheaper/better/fresher veggies is really worth the gas. I also need to check out the EasyWay store I drive by on my way home and see what sort of stuff they have. If it's fresh and locally grown, that ight be good enough. But the Farmers Market most likely has stuff like eggs and cheese and all the other yummy stuff that comes from farms. Is it year round? Most likely not - rather defeats the purpose of a Farmers Market if half the food isn't local.

I'm mulling over going back on Atkins at the end of this month. The quitting smoking  is a health plus, but if my ass gets any fatter that will dissolve into a minus. And I'm not quite fatalistic to think - hmmm..... future food stores! No - I don't think it'll get that damn bad. Suprisingly enough, I've noticed that I have a very small appetite. I tend to skip breakfast, and lunch, and will eat a few bites for dinner - and it's mainly because I'm truly NOT hungry. Huh. I wonder if I could be in ketosis any damn way. Hmmmm......

All but one page on the website is done - my philosophy page. I'm struggling with hitting the right balance between - I will fight to the END for what you want and - Sometimes, you have to do what you would rather NOT do....Eh. It's taking me a while, but it's almost ready.  Scared again am I - I'm such a wuss ass. Terrified of my own fucking light. *sigh*

In other side business news, I think I may have worked through one of the biggest kinks in my 'other' business idea. If I can find a cheap (but nice) selection of thin elastic cord, I'll be in business - literally. hmmm.... I wonder when Pagan Pride Day is, and if I could make enough to try and have a booth?? *tsk* I need to come up with some bead designs.....

So....I'm pretty involved/preoccupied with my real world life - and I can tell, as my rate of involvement with my online world has slacked greatly. eh - I go through cycles....

So, how ya'll doin?

Journey

My entire office smells of burnt popcorn. My mind interpets the smell as over-grilled meat and/or burning paper. Odd, considering I know that what I'm smelling is nasty burnt popcorn, but my mouth is still watering at the scent of meat.
I've been strangely clumsy today - running into walls, dropping things that I have a perfectly firm grasp on, stumbling over non-exisistant bumps in the floor. I think I'm unbalanced by the fact that Corey is still here - he was most sick this weekend, and took two whole sick days off to rest up and heal himself. I find myself wanting to hurry home to be with him - simply to soak up his presence as I try to stay as far away from his infectious tail as I can. I wonder if it will be like this when he's back here - I hope not. I plan on having a least a wee bit of a life - even if it consists of nothing more than group outings and meetings and working out, and to feel guilty about not going straight home is rather silly - isn't it? I suppose when he's healthy and working I wouldn't feel so bad.
I'm considering going to a tanning salon this summer. I'm a bit piebald for a black girl, with light and dark patches all over me. From 5 to about 15 I never played outside with bare arms or legs, and I think that my body simply forgot that there should be jsut as much melanin there as there is on my face and hands. Over the years these oddly pale legs and shoulders of mine began to bother me more and more - and I figure why should I have to live with something that I don't like and I KNOW I can change. Of course, the simple brass ovaries it's going to take for me to walk INTO a tanning salon and have a calm conversation about starting a tanning regimen still have not dsplayed themselves, but at least I'm thinking about it. I figure that I'll get better results (as well as slightly safer) going to a salon rather than doing my usual route of laying out in the sun every weekend.
It's only 4:30 - I want to be out smiling in the sun, singing along with my mixCD, driving to the gym. *sigh*

Comparison

I'm sitting here debating if I'm going to spend 25 bucks for 125 bags of tea. It's Good Earth Original, Caffeine Free, Sweet and Spicy Herb blend. The stuff is FABULOUS - and I go through 2 bags a day. I ran out of that, and out of my ginger tea, so now I"m reduced to drinking some Celestial Seasonings tea. Bleh. It's odd how much my tastes have changed from drinking herb teas - the Celestial Seasoning teas just don't taste good anymore. The main reason that I'm holding abck from placing the order is because I don't really NEED the tea - I can drink my Celestial Seasonings just fine, and because I'm not totally sure that is the cheapest price I can find. I might swing by Trader Joes to see if they have any - and while I'm up there go to Costco again and see if they sell it - which I doubt.

I've got this coworker who has a daughter - a heavy girl - who got a breast reduction a few years ago. Ever since one lunch we went to together, she keeps trying to talk me into getting a breast reduction. Why? I - personally - happen to LOVE the shape of my body. I've got big hips, a big ole round ass, a (relatively) little wasit, and a pair of bodacious boobs. I'd like for everything to be a LOT smaller, but in general - the proportions are great. I'm very balanced body wise, and it puzzles me why she is so gungho about me getting the girls gouged. It would be different if I couldn't carry them - like if I was a size 6 and my boobs were still DDD. Or even if they DID fit - but my back was constantly hurting. But neither of those situations are true - and I doubt that they will be true for a good little while. Everytime I've lost weight, I've NEVER lost any boobage at all. In fact, my boobs tend to look like they get bigger when I lose weight because everything is getting smaller. I might get to a point (like the aforementioned size 6 with DDD's) that I might THINK about getting them reduced, but then again, I might not. Hell - women PAY to have boobs like mine, and I'm rather used to (and know how to handle) men who seem to think that my eyes are nipples. It's just an odd conversation to have to have with someone more than once. Besides - I think her daughters boobs are too small...

I'm being prolific today - enjoying the little corner of comfort I've carved out for myself at work. I've got pictures up, I've finally figured out (or lost enough weight) that I can sit cross legged in my office chair, and I've got LaunchCast to listen to. It's good.

Production

Sunday, Corey and I started muttering about when we wanted to start trying to have children again. He said - right after we get married? and my mouth fell open. He quickly elaborated that yes, he did remember that we wanted to wait until we were a little more settled and financially secure and all that - but yeah.
I still want to wait - but at the same time I don't want to, but I know it's smarter if we do. I'm thinking that June 2004 might be a good time to start - right after we move to wherever we end up going. :)

I went home and cooked my tail off last night. I made 2 pans of stir fried 'rice', a pot of barbecue sauce which I imeadiately used up on some chicken breasts and a pork loin (for pulled pork), a pot of parmesan spinach, a pan of shepards pie, a pot of hot wings, and 3 kinds of pudding (white chocolate, butterscotch, and pistascio). My kitchen looks like a hurricaine swept through it, but MAN I had fun. I managed to make a little room in my fridge, but not nearly enough. Tonight, I might make some lasagna to get rid of a couple of the containers and veggies, but I'm not sure if there will be room to put anything in there.

I've scheduled myself to go to a couple of Meetups through that Meetup.com place. I've picked the bookcrossing one, a homebirth one, and a pagan one. I was scheduled to go to one tonight, but eh - I don't feel like dealing with outsiders. I have this urge to vaccum my living room - and since the cooking madness took me over yesterday - I was in the kichen from the time I got home at 5:30 until I finally crawled into bed at 11:30 - AFTER I talked myself out of starting another dish - I really didn't have any time to clean. Wow - I shold procrastinate like that ALL the time. So, tonight - I think I will stay at work until 5, then head home, start washing clothes, then start cleaning the house. My bedroom is still pretty good, but the living room needs some serious work. I need to reclean the kitchen too after last night's excitement.

Ah! Lunch time... let's see how good my barbeque sauce is.

The Monthly Menu

Breakfast
Week One
Boiled Eggs
Week Two
Granola
Week Three
Yogurt
Week Four
Mini Burger /Spicy Sausage Balls

Lunch
Week One
Rueben Casserole
Stir Fried Rice
Week Two
BBQ Wings and coleslaw
Crab cakes and Sautéed Spinach
Week Three
Italian Spaghetti Casserole
Lasagna
Week Four
Shepard’s Pie
Pulled Pork and Cornbread and Greens

Dinner
Week One
1 Stir Fried Rice
2 Kohlrabi Mix
3 Steak & Turnip
4 Reuben Casserole
Week Two
1 Crab cakes & Spinach
2 Steak & Veggie
3 BBQ Chicken & Cornbread
4 Lemon Salmon & Asparagus
Week Three
1 Turnip Mix
2 Chicken & Veggies
3 Steak & Veggies
4 Beef Stroganoff
Week Four
1 Pulled BBQ & Corn Bread
2 Steak & Veggies
3 Hot Dogs & Sauerkraut
4 Fish & Veggies

---

Well - doesn't that just look like a PEACH of a menu? My goal is to eat the 'carbiest' meal at lunch - start the morning with mostly protein, and end the day with protien and veggies. My grocery list was actually shorter than expected - I don't think I should have too much of a problem keeping it in the rough range of 200/300 bucks.
I also want to try to make as much as I can - that way I can cut out more hidden carbs, and also save a little money (at least on some things). I truly truly love the fact that I can lose weight, improve my health and energy and eat yuuuummmmmyyyyyyliscous foods too.

I've gone and made myself hungry now. :)

Commentary

The only person I want to be around is Corey. Regretfully, he's back in Cinci now and I'm stuck here facing the rest of a dull day at work. He's talking to his current supervisor about getting a transfer here. Totally world-rocking.
I'm sleepy besides - I actually woke up before noon all weekend, despite the fact that I didn't go to bed until after two all weekend either. Thus, I'm facing the start of the week with a lovely sleep deficit. yawn.
I'm excited - I'm getting my nails done and a pedicure tommorow. I'm also going to treat myself to a nice pair of brown sandals - somehow I've allowed myself to be talked into going to spend time with his family for Easter, and I need new shoes to go with my dress. At first, I thought I needed to buy a new dress, then I realized that my graduation dress that I just started fitting back into would be perfectly appropiate for Easter. So - a new pair of summer shoes (which I do need) is all that I'll spend - and the nails and the toes are a luxury I refuse to give up. I've also determined that I'm not spending a penny over 20 bucks for the shoes.
I mailed off my tax extension form today too. So - I've got the pre-15th postmark and now I have until August to scrape up a grand to give to the IRS. Damn them.

I need to put together a grocery list for the next month. I figured that if I can alternate - two different meals can carry me through lunch for the week. So - that means I need at least 6 different things for lunch for the next month. Dinner is usally the easiet for me - some sort of baked/grilled meat and veggies. My favorite is a nice hunka hunka ribeye *smacks lips* but for the sake of economy I'm going to start eating mor chiken . Heh. I love those cows. So - two steaks a week is about 8 steaks a month. *shakes head* This Costco trip is going to be verrah interesting. I'll post my menu later.

HELP!

Does anyone know of a good, free, ad/popup buster? I thought there was something going around OD that blocked popups, spyware, and those hateful, hateful mouse cursor THINGS!!!

Any and all links/downloads will be greatly appreciated, as I seem to have stumbled across something that provides me with minutes of 'Fight the Porn PopUps' style entertainment. I have a 'firewall' called ZoneAlarm since I've got the hot cable modem and leaving myself always connected with NO protection is just stupid, but these damn popups don't even register on that.

I haven't taken a nap yet - I started cooking a 'seafood bisque' which is shaping up rather nicely in the crockpot. I've also got some nice fish marinating that I'll drop in before I go to bed...it will make a LOVELY lunch tomorrow. I've also got dessert - baked jicama which tastes almost EXACTLY like stewed apples - they are almost too sweet for me. They would go nicely over a bit of custard.

I love doing stuff like that - coming up with a yummy, long lasting meal from the random odds and ends of other meals I've made. I feel so - domestic goddesslike.

I'm a magpie - I don't know if I've ever mentioned that. I LOVEEEE sparkly stuff - if I had a buncha money, I would have more custom made jewelry than you could shake a stick at. I've found a source for stones that look almost EXACTLY like a diamond (you'd have to be a GOOD jeweler with a diamond tester to tell the difference)- but for ohhhh... about a tenth of the cost. Stunning. I've brought several loose stones from them, and I have no clue what I'm going to do with them. So - since I can't wear them - I take them out of their boxes every couple of months and just drool all over them instead. It satisfies my need for new sparklies somehow.
So - while I'm waiting for the last of the lasagna to heat up, I'm gonna watch The System and play with the little pretties.

Comfort

I love to eat. I like the feeling of food in my mouth. I like chewing food. I like the taste of food. I like cooking food. I like sharing food with others - especially things they have never tasted before. There are very few foods that I won't eat (chittlins, peas) and some foods that just occasionally taste good enough to eat (brussel sprouts), but most food to me is just plain good. I haven't yet met a food that I won't try - at least once, and the fact that it's more than likely GOOD rather than bad encourages that practice.
Oddly enough, after all that, I don't have a comfort food. I have a 'type' of food that I like to eat when I'm sad, or sick, or grumpy, but no particular food that when I need some 'comfort' I turn too. I think it's from the fact that as I grew up, there was never anything consistently in the house that I turned to when I was out-of-sorts. All of my escapism was done through books - which I'm sure is the only reason I don't weigh twice as much as I do now. I did love to eat and read, and I still do - but I've at least broken the habit of feeling like I HAD to eat something to be reading.
So - what is my comfort 'type' of food?? Custard/Ice Cream/Pudding. I love custard - proper egg custard mind you, cooked in a water bath, with the tiniest hint of vanilla and nuts. Or creamy caramel & dark chocolate swirled in vanilla ice cream, rich & cold & sweet and dark - simply melts away in my mouth. Or pudding - umm... butterstoch or chocolate or vanilla or a nice lemon curd.
So. Luckily, I can still eat custard. There have been a few stressful days when I would stop at the grocery store for eggs and cream because I knew that would make the day a little less painful. It's not quite comforting like a happy email from my best friend or a single kiss from Corey, but - it makes the uncomfortable bits of time a wee bit easier.

Before Lunch - After Lunch

Hm. I think today will be a day of prolific entries. I actually feel like writing, and there is not a damn thing else going on here today. What’s going on in my life?? Nothing much. I feel so much better after the Bra Rant, but *shrugs* I don’t know. I finished reading poppyseed’s diary, so that wonderful source of entertainment is gone.

Hmm. Lunch. What a delightful interruption to the day. There was a ‘cookout’ here, that due to the weather they moved inside. Food wasn’t half bad. I have noticed that I eat a lot less now. *shrugs* I’m just not as hungry, and I get full a lot quicker. Good bad.. I don’t know… I’m just working with it.

I have changed my mind…I’m not going jean shopping tonight. I’m tired, I’m certainly wearing the wrong shoes, and I need to wash clothes. I haven’t worn these shoes in a while (professional looking heels rather than my usual summer sandals) and my toes are NOT happy about being slammed into confinement once again. *sighs* Besides I’m just TIRED. I need to get my rest… there is nothing worse than going on vacation and wasting a day or two just getting your rest. I think I’m going to duck out of here a little early too… especially if it stays this dead.

Hm. I guess I will have to go back to reading comics to pass the time. Fox Trot is hilarious….

Stay Jazzed.