It's that time....

Once again...it's Friday. And to make it even better, it is a GORGEOUS Friday. I am wearing one of my pretty new dresses, and I am about to go home in a bit. I want to go out... but I don't know where to. I'm thinking there has to be a park or SOMETHING somewhere near my house that I can lounge at for a bit, but I don't know. *sighs* Though I could just go home, toss open the windows and clean the house well from tip to totter. Knowing me, I will settle for the latter. *shakes head* I'm such a bum.
I did work out last night, went and hopped on the elliptical and lifted some weights. Can I say that the elliptical is AWESOME. My god, I had to FIGHT to stay on it for 5 minutes. It's one of those machines that you just can't slack on...you HAVE to work and work pretty hard while you are on it. MY foot started to hurt though, so I hopped off. I'm kinda concerned about my right leg in general. It's been... achy and tight and sore and just ODD since I started working out, and I know I have foot & ankle issues...so I don't know what's going on with that. I have been trying to be really good to that leg...working it but not working it HARD. I think I need to keep my tail out of heels... that will most likely help me out a lot.
Hmm.. what else? I am going to do some schoolwork this weekend, as my time is getting shorter and shorter. I have like three assignements to do before the 9th of May. About a week and a half... I might have to start taking the laptop home every night instead of only on the weekends. Hm. THAT's a thought *LOL*

I'm trying to blow as much time as possible before I leave for the bus...but as I have to *ahem* handle some bid-ness before I leave, I guess I shall sign off now.

OH!! All of you who left the notes of support and encouragement on my list... THANK YOU! *grins* It's like getting extra shots of will-power and strengh..you gals & guys are GREAT!!

Stay Jazzed... and have a good weekend...

Mo-Ins-Der

Jazzy’s Top Ten Slim Down Reasons

1) I’m tired of shopping in the fat girl ghetto of clothing stores
2) I want to be strong enough to be able to carry a couple of bags of groceries home without feeling like I am going to fall out
3) I want to be more flexible...you can only bend your body in so many ways before the lovely rolls get in your way.
4) I want to be more proud of how I look
5) I want my self image of myself to translate into real life
6) I want to be healthier so I can do more…easier.
7) I want to be in shape so that when I DO have a baby, I will be the best incubator I can be.
8) I wanna wear sexy lingerie without worrying about looking like a parody of a sexy woman
9) I wanna be able to run for fun (or for my life) without feeling like I am going to fall out
10) I want to. For me. AND for the way others look at me AND the way I look at myself.


Motivation. Yes!

I had another dream/dream thought as I was falling asleep last night. It was me going somewhere (driving no less) in a lovely silver car. I stepped out and I was like the perfect version of myself (body wise), and I had there long lovely dark brown locs with brilliant red tips that came over my shoulders. It was summerish time and I was looking GOOD. I think that is going to be my dream/sleep/meditation image for a while. Me looking the way I want to look… doing my own thang.

Inspiration. YES!

My auntie died of colon cancer when I was about 8. I used to look just like her, but shorter. *LOL* I admired her greatly, and she was a wonderful woman…rather like who I want to be. If she had been smaller, the doctors would have been able to find the cancer before it metasized throughout her entire body. She lost almost 100 pounds before she died…and I would greatly prefer NOT going out like that. I want to live in my skin healthy and whole for a very long time.

Determination. YES!

What more do I need?


Stay Jazzed.

The Usual Subjects

I had the most interesting dream last night, it would have been a perfect book. I woke up a little and remember thinking.. hmm that would make a really GOOD book, and then I just went right back to sleep. When I finally got us this morning, all I could remember was the thought, hmmm..this would make a really good book, but nothing about the dream itself. *sighs8 I hate it when that happens. Most of my good short story/ novel ideas have come from dreams. Odd me. But it’s been bouncing around in my head all day.
I didn’t exercise this morning, but I al going to the gym when I get home and after I wash my gym clothes. I am hitting the ‘point of exhaustion’ in my cycle where life is work & sleep.. nothing else. I guess a side effect of the hormones is that I just get TIRED. And it’s odd considering the fact that I am on a flat dose pill, that I still get the sleepy times. I mean I went to bed around 8:00 last night….and slept until like 6:45 this morning…okay I woke up at like 5 something, and I really should have gotten up then, but I opted not to. I felt so guilty about not exercising…*Grins* such a good thing.
I went back over my Jazzy’s REALLLY needs this stuff list, and realize that I got most of the stuff. At least the important stuff. *sighs* I am still being a buster about the driving lessons though, mainly cuz I spent a little more on the clothing than I had planned on. *sighs* I realllly need to get my freaking license. I need to figure out how I can get a hardship waiver so that I can get the license without having to wait for the required 60 days after having the permit to be able to take the driving test. Umph. I am SUCH a slacker.

I have decided that I am moving for sure. *sighs* I love my apartment, really I do, but it costs just wayyyy too much for me right now. *sighs* I am paying 940.00 a month now, and once I get a car I will have to pay another 45.00 bucks a month for parking, plus whatever increase I would have to pay when I renew my lease. *sighs* That will be close to a 1000.00 bucks a month for an APARTMENT!! *sighs* Argh. If I could drop that down to about half as much, that would almost give me most of my car payment, along with a little extra for my bills. I know that I don’t really want to move into another smaller apartment complex, I would much rather rent a duplex or a townhouse, but not one in a complex, something in a real neighborhood. Kinda like the little house I was looking at when I was here before. I figure if I move into a house I won’t miss the little amenities of an apartment as much, AND I can give myself a trial run to see if I really want to buy a house or if I would be better off getting a condo in the long run. It might be a bit of a headache to find the kind of place I am looking for, but… I think it will be worth it. I will have to add in the cost of heat and any taxes or that kind of jazz…but hopefully I will be able to find it for under 600….which was what I came up her planning to pay but then I just fell in love with the lovely little place I have now.

Umph. But enough money talk. *shakes head* It’s sad, I really have nothing else to talk about. Me & Cheffy are still sailing on calm seas, even though there are a couple of oddities that have popped up. I’m waiting to see if they are a consistent thing that I will have to call him on, or if I am just being a bit more sensitive than usual. *shrugs* We have passed the ‘official’ honeymoon stage (the first six months) and so now it is starting to get into the nitty gritty of it all. I SO want to get away somewhere and just chill me & him… *sighs* I really hate money… or the lack thereof I should say. Umph. Is it wrong of me to wonder where the hell all of his money goes sometimes? He makes almost as much as me, has an apartment that costs a third of mine, only has to pay a phone bill cuz his apartment covers heat & air and he doesn’t have cable…yet seems to be perennially broke. *raised eyebrow* I don’t know… it’s just odd to me…*grins* Besides, I’m nosey as hell, so it isn’t as if it is in the least bit important, it just tat I’m curious. I have decided to put myself back on a budget like I was while I was in school. I am going to try to live off of 500.00 bucks a month….as just free money. With all of my bills paid (and paid over the minimum) I will have 500 bucks left to play with for food and other essentials. I REALLY should be able to pull it off… if I stop doing dilly stuff like blowing 50 bucks a weekend for food. *grins* What a lovely side effect of dieting… a smaller food bill. *groans* Speaking of which…ah. I don’t know. Atkins can be more expensive than ‘traditional’ dieting, and Weight Watchers has got otbe even more expensive. I think I will do a ‘moderated’ version of Atkins and traditional ( I know I know….).. eat no processed bread, no sugar (buh-bye ice cream) and as few natural starches as possible, while trying to stick to ‘serving’ sizes. *rolls eyes* I want to drop about 10 dress sizes by my Birthday in January….which gives me 9 months… so that is about a dress size a month, and I think on me a dress size is about 10 pounds. Hmm… that might be a BIT aggressive… but it is a goal. I really don’t c are about my weight… I just want to be stronger. Hm. I think it is list time….

Stay Jazzed.

By the By......

Oh yes. I'm mildly scarred. I like this place and am waaaaaaayyy too attached to it. This is totally ridiculous. *rubs the servers belly softly* good server....goood server. I'm actually almost getting to the point where I would be willing to pay some small fee to be here and to insure that the servers continue to act right. Oh the levels of emotional blackmail the DM and his (it is a HE right??) staff could stoop too....it makes my tummy quiver. And that quivering has NOTHING to do with the lovely amounts of tummy I have either.

*waves* I'm gone...really.

Umph..took ya long enough. :)

Well…it’s day two of the OD Vanishment. At least it is day two to me. *shrugs* I didn’t bother writing yesterday, but I an only go for but so long without typing SOMETHING out.
I’m still exercising… I planned on going out last night to get a jump rope, but as I got caught in a bit of a spring shower with no umbrella and a silk dress on, I figured it was in my best (simply BEST) interest to just take my tail home. However, after working out this morning with Debbie Austin (she’s cool.. a LITTLE too damn perky, but cool) I realized that in order to jump rope I am going to need a much much much much much much much much much better sports bra. The one(s) I have now I just NOT up to the job. Walking and biking and lifting weights, sure.. they keep everything nicely in place. But Jumping??? Oh HELLLLL nawh. I don’t think I have really jumped rope in years…I might just have to wear a regular bra while I jump rope… some REAL support. The elastic & fabric combo is NOT working out.
Also, I might get some Tae-bo tapes. Debbie did a bit of that this morning and WHOOO!! Talk about a workout. And I like the fact that the steps seem pretty easy to get into. Hm. Also, I want to get some weights. I have seen over the past few days that I LIKE staying in… it gives me more time to work out, and I am more comfortable there. So… if I buy a set of weights, and get a good cardio tape, I will be set. *wiggles with joy* Next, comes the hard part. I have decided that I am going to exercise for a month before I start dieting. *rolls eyes grandly* I am going to start keeping a food record again too.. I need to see where my consumption is going. Ugh. It’s odd… I don’t mind the getting up an hour early to exercise.. in fact I am starting to enjoy it.. but the thought of having to shift a round my eating habits.. *sighs* that is a whole nother bottle of wax. Personally if I could just go without eating that would be simplest…. But I KNOW that won’t work. Um um um… I need something remarkably simple. That is the thing with most diets… you have to think and calculate and estimate every time you sit down to eat. Eating starts to lose *thinks* any enjoyment that you could get from it because you get so busy measuring and calculating and fretting about how much you are taking in. *sighs* Oddly enough the exercise isn’t much of a chore.. I like it. I like being hyper aware of my body… *shimmys in her seat* Yeah babbbbbyyyyy….. I can feel myself moooove differently, sit differently.. *shakes head* it’s reallllly interesting. How your body can just slowly… deteriorate and you never notice it until much later. Ughaa.
WHOA! I just got a shot of major inspiration. A chicky on this BBS that I’m a member of just posted some before & after pics after she lost 75 pounds…oh my god. Hm…she was on Weight Watchers. Hm. The difference is scarily dramatic. *shakes head* The only thing I’m worried about is losing all of my boobies. I LIKE my boobies (and my bootie too) and dammit! I wanna keep them… at least some of them.

I was ‘talking’ to a friend today about how confused I feel sometimes…like there is something missing from my life, but I can’t quite put my finger on it. I mean, I am in a wonderful state right now, good job, great man, wonderful home, healthy, mostly happy with myself and working on it…not stressed, spiritually peaceful… it’s all so .. right, but I just don’t feel like it is all right for ME. I am just confused. *shrugs* vaguely unsettled. I don’t know. It’s an odd state to be in…but a good one too.

Ugh. Well. The network is dead, and I have nothing to do. Which means that I can’t work… nor can I play. *sighs* And I’m cold.

Blah. OD is probably STILL is not back up anyway… well.. until tomorrow

WHOO HOOO!! Bite MY tongue won’t cha!?!

Stay Jazzed

A deeper Love (part 2)

Okay…I have heard SOO many people scream about how bad the Atkins Diet is, so I figured I would go out on the internet and find out what kind of issues have been found with the diet.
The first thing I found was Atkins FAQ which after a long discussion, wound up with this conclusion:

In conclusion, ketogenic diets such as Atkins' program are no more successful than those weight loss programs recommended by the scientific/medical community. They are more dangerous than other fad weight regimens due to its high fat content. Persons who choose to follow ketogenic diets should check with their physician periodically as the diet can cause electrolyte depletion and increased blood lipids. They should have periodic blood tests to measure total cholesterol, LDL cholesterol, HDL cholesterol, and triglycerides.

However, in an interview with Dr. Atkins talking about his plan (and in the book… for those who have read it) he says:

The major issue then seems to be the speculation that it would be bad for the heart. I hope you agree that it's not the cholesterol and fat in the diet that leads to heart disease, but rather the cholesterol and fat in the blood. If so, we can review the changes in the lipid profile on low carbohydrate diets. They fall into a common pattern. The total cholesterol usually drops a bit, and there is usually a tendency for the HDL to rise and the LDL to fall, much as a recent study out of Wilmington, Delaware, on a modified low carbohydrate diet shows.

as well as this : Atkin’s Article

The same naysayers who hoped I'd shut up a page ago before the ketoacidosis section, are now pointing a finger and saying that with all that fat in the diet we're going to have cholesterol levels shooting through the roof. Wrong! First of all, if foods are chosen wisely, the source of dietary fat is given due consideration, and the person using the ketogenic diet is also reducing calories and losing weight, I can almost 100% guarantee that cholesterol will drop or at the worst, remain the same. Triglycerides (another factor being given weight with respect to cardiovascular disease) will fall substantially. Good cholesterol may also go up, which is a positive factor for reducing cardiovascular disease risk. I hope I've kept this article somewhat readable so far and I'm not going to change course and go into the dozen or so studies which prove my point but they are readily available for anyone wanting to do some digging.

In fact, if you read the Diet plan, AND follow it as listed, you will actually end up eating LESS of the unhealthy fat that is in most American’s diets, because you CAN’T eat the carb-rich food that a lot of it is hidden in.

As far as worries about the poor poor kidneys or liver being overstressed, Dr. Atkins recommends that you drink at LEAST 64 oz of water a day, PLUS an extra 8 (or 16… I don’t have the book with me) for every 20 pounds you need to lose. This is more water than most of us get in a day, and thus your kidneys are CONSTANTLY flushing out any ketones that slide into your urine.

He also recommends multi-vitamins, to insure that you get all of the needed vitamins and minerals that your body needs. HOWEVER…any one on a low calorie diet is required to do the same, because they are not eating enough food to get the vitamins and minerals that they need either.

So…why in the world would any one take the risk of eating on a diet that soooo many people (both doctors and non-doctors) are saying is unhealthy, when you could just get on the good old fashioned low-fat, low-calorie diet that has been ‘working’ for so long? Three very simple reasons (at least for me) :
1) I know many people get on this diet, lose weight, and stay healthy. Old people, young people, lazy people, not so lazy people, black, white….any kinda person. And compared to the ‘normal’ diet, I have heard very few complaints.
2) You are NOT hungry. I hate being hungry. It makes me grumpy, it make s me very inefficient and it makes me want to eat…which means I’m going to fall off of the diet. Which means I’m not gonna lose weight. Which means going on the diet in the first place was a waste of time.
3) The last, and too me MOST important reason. I lose weight on this diet…and I DON’T lose weight on the others. I have seen myself lose weight on this diet. Not only do I lose weight, but I feel better. I have more energy. I sleep better. I FEEL better. ANDDDDD… as I am not starving my body by refusing to feed it…as I go into the maintenance stage of it I DON’T balloon back up. And to me.. I KNOW I am hurting my body by being this heavy…even if I keep ‘hurting’ my body by being on this diet.. and I am helping my body at the same time by losing weight…then I think it is worth the risk.


Thanks for reading….

Stay Jazzed.

Ahhh.. push it....

Well… it’s been an interesting week. I have gotten up and exercised every morning, alternating ‘inside’ and ‘outside’ workouts…so I’m still proud of myself. I know that I am going to want to see some major changes in me like FAST, and just exercising alone is not going to do it. I was reading this one book the I got at the half price book store about how to get a flat stomach ASAP, and the author recommended a 1,600 to 1000 calorie a day diet, consisting of several 300 calorie mini meals a day…for a period of six weeks. Um…no. I would have to kill somebody if I tried to reduce my caloric intake that much. Besides, after those six weeks were over I would most likely balloon up like a fat pig. Sooooo…. I think I am going to tryyyyy to go back on Atkins. I know that I lose weight well and safely on that plan… so I MIGHT go back on that. But I’m not sure…*shrugs* Oddly enough, I don’t want to tell anyone that I have been working out, and that is one of the reasons that I am kind a iffy about going onto Atkins. Once you go on a diet everyone around you knows that you are trying to lose weight, and somehow for me having other people involved (Other than you LOVELY OD’ers ) makes it more of a outside thing than an inside one. It’s kinda like praying in public. You only do it if you are trying to show everyone else how wonderfully humble and in awe of your god you are. If you are really just doing it for you and your god, there is no reason to make it a subject of public discussion and involvement. The only odd thing I have noticed since I have started working out is that I have needed A LOT more sleep. I thought exercising was supposed to energize you? I do go through most of my day pretty well… but by the time 9:30 rolls around, I am OUT like a light. The fact that I am up at 6, and I tend to be moving pretty steadily until 5’ish…*thinks* that is 15 hours that I am awake… give or take an hour, which means I’m getting about 9 hours of sleep a night. Hm. I guess that isn’t too much sleep considering I am increasing the demand on my booooddddy. :) YAYYY for increased demand.

In other news, work SUCKS. These people are truly demented. *rolls eyes* Expectations from the program as a whole are way too high for a BETA system that is more buggy that the New Orleans Bayou. *sighs* And forcing people to come to work on the weekends does jack shit for morale I would like to add.
*sighs* I have figured out something about me. I am a much much much better follower than I am leader. Or maybe not. I am a much better ‘doer’ than I am ‘organizer’. I am DAMN good at actually doing and executing a task or tasks laid out in front of me. ..but organizing a group of people or a series of events? That I am realllllly not all that skilled at. *sighs* I guess it is good to know one’s strengths and weaknesses…. Perhaps I will grow out of it, or even worse be forced out of it due to promotion. Yeech.

*sighs* I love my Cheffy. He is such a sweet’art. *sighs* Sometimes I wonder if I am just overly blessed, or if this is just making up for the years of suckyness I went through before this (both on my part and on the dude’s …or dame’s part). And yet I know that if I had met him… oh a few years ago, I would never have known what was really up. He is a good person.. with his flaws and all. *rolls eyes lovingly* Men.
Umph. I don’t have much to write about…just a series of random notes on the rather bland status of my life. I have started to grow to truly dislike people asking me ‘what’s new with you?’ especially if they have just finished running down this long list of the new and wonderful things that have happened to them. *sighs* Nothing much I have to reply, almost apologetic and having to admit that I am stuck in a rut that I rather enjoy. I get up, workout, shower, get dressed, maybe grab some breakfast, kiss my sleeping Cheffy good bye, catch the bus to work, work, mess around online, go to a couple of meetings, stretch and try to breathe away the stress, catch the bus home, go home, watch a little TV, read a little, go to bed. On the weekends I go shopping. Maybe cook. It’s a rather scarily peaceful and calm life. It’s not that I don’t like it… it’s just. Dull. And not dull in a mind numbing way.. just dull as in looking from outside (even me) it doesn’t seems the least bit exciting. And really.. it isn’t. But I don’t mind. Does that mean that there is something lacking in me? *shrugs* I don’t know… maybe it just means I am a homebody… maybe it means I am a lazy bum who prefers her creature comforts at home. I don’t know. I think that for working out on the weekends I am going to take out my camera and my tripod and take at least a roll of pictures a weekend….but I will only get them exposed once a month (right after payday) That way I can exercise my legs and my art skills at the same time…and I can learn at least my neighborhood, maybe more. And considering the weather is getting nicer too… hmmm…. Yes I think I will.

Stay Jazzed

A deeper love

I’m quite proud of meself. I woke up early this morning, and rather than climbing my lazy buns back into bed and sleeping for another hour, I got up, got dressed and went to the ‘gym’. I wanted to hop on the treadmill, but this thoroughly dedicated chick was runnnnning on the treadmill almost the whole time I was there (about 40 minutes). I stretched a bit, then got on the bike. I hate exercise bikes. I am a wide hipped, thick thighed woman, and them damn seats HURT my stuff. I toughed it out for about ten minutes, and then decided that the whole no pain to gain thing is a load of crap. I then hopped off the bike, and did some weight lifting. :) I went back home, and then did some yoga (mainly breathing/relaxing exercises…cuz I only had 15 minutes left before I had to start getting ready for work). Overall I’m pretty satisfied. The cardio bit I’m disappointed in, as I didn’t get a chance to hop on the treadmill, and I love my knees wayy to much to start off on the step machines. I think I will have to go to a thrift store and get some cheap sweat pants and sweat shirts so that I can walk/run outside. All I have now are shorts, and as it is getting COLD again… that is just not going to work. But I made the effort. *sighs* I think that I will do this every morning…an hour of SOMETHING. I have a couple of “8 minute ‘randombodyparts’” videos that I have had almost since I have been in Indy. I might also get a jump-rope, and use that for some in house cardio work for those days that I don’t feel quite human. *sighs* I have been scaling down my portions too. I figure I KNOW that I am not going to want to give anything up, but I can not eat quite so much of anything. *sighs* It’s odd…I am truly interested in making my body and better happier place. *shrugs* I think I know why, but I’m not ready to admit that reason to myself. Humph. I can remain in a state of denial on some subjects… yes?

Ah! I knew I was right. My co-workers IS pregnant. She is due in November. :) She fessed up yesterday at lunch as a group of us was talking about another co-workers grandbaby to be. I’m thrilled for her… raahllly I am. *sighs* I have issues. Anywayyyyyy….

I went crazy shopping this weekend. Brought an almost whole new wardrobe, nice flirty funky summery stuff. I purposely brought stuff that could be worn at various sizes…dresses with ties in back, button up stuff whose buttons could be shifted and the like. I want this stuff to last me until at least close to September, and then I can get some new winter clothes. *deep breath* Me me me memememememememememeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Stay Jazzed.

super super short.

blah. I wanna go home. NOW.
I don't feel like writing a bitch bitch bitccccchhhhh entry cuz I am sick of hearing myself whine. So instead, I bid ya'll adeiu...and complain that it is 45 degrees today...ain't THAT nothin?

Stay Jazzed.

Rollin Rollin Rollin....

*hums* Hmm… I’ve been in an odd mood for the past few days… singing to myself a lot.. feeling like I need to just get out and dance in circles or something. I would call it spring madness or something if it was more…concrete. I feel like wearing flowy dresses and sleeping under the stars and traveling across America in a old small car with my very best friends. Hm. Maybe I’m just sick of work.. sick of pretending to be settled and calm now and reasonable and reliable. I wanna run off into Oz and not come back until Munchkin Land has turned into Silicon Valley. I need a vacation. I wanna escape in a way that reading and dreaming isn’t letting me do any more. I wanna be SO outta here. This whole day to day corporate job stuff SUCKS. I reallllly need to start writing so that I can get the hell out of this…place. I’m considering doing something that I really really really know I shouldn’t do. I want a laptop of my own, and as I actually DO have a credit card (yeah it’s in my mom’s name but I pay for it….) I can get a laptop. I have been rummaging this idea around in my mind for a quite a while, but I think I will save it as a reward for when (if) I pass this danngone class. *sighs* I am such a lazy bum…even when I know that it is in my own best interest to NOT be. *sighs* This is the same thing I went through with one of my classes while I was still in school.

---

Okay one of my co-workers just broke down crying. I hope that nothing is wrong with her yet to be born grand-baby… *sighs* I know that this project is stressful but damn… I hope it isn’t that bad.
Okay… family issues. *sighs* Mercy.

---

Back to whining about me. *sighs* I really don’t want to take this damn class. That is the problem…really once you get down to it. Arrgh. *hangs head* If I still could I would withdraw…but I KNOW that ain’t an option any more. Hm. Actually I can. I have up until two weeks before the last class. Interesting. *sighs* I’m not. I’m NOT. Dammit. Okay… I am gonna be just fine. I just submitted part of my project over a month late and he gave me a C. *shakes head and sighs* I realllllly have no excuse!

As a preparation for the exercise that I am going to start doing next week right after I gt my sneakers, I have started stretching every night. I used to be a scarily flexible person, but due to age, lack of use, and excess flesh being in the way, most of the lovely poses that I used to amaze my friends and intrique my lovers have gone the way on the Dodo. So I figured warming up those muscles, reminding them what physical activity feels like, is a good prelude to be working out. It is also helping me just FEEL better, as I have been suffering from aches and pains and the like for just waayyy too freaking long. What I thought was a sign of my eminent death may just be my body’s way of saying “HEY!!! I can’t haul around BUT so much now….”

Work has been fun. I am learning a lot more, and I feel a lot more comfortable transitioning into this role. Not leadership ( I don’t know shit about what I don’t know… and I certainly know that I don’t know enough to be in a leader ship role) but rather a more supporting role. Yes I know I bitched about the job earlier, and if I could get out of it I would… however I kinda enjoy what I am doing now. So I have to go and do it…

Stay Jazzed.

Hellloooo Spring... *VVOOSSSHHH!!!!!!!!*

*smiles* I have been going around all day asking people what the HELL happened to spring. While I have absolutely nothing against a nice spate of warm weather, jumping from 40 to 84 in the matter of a week is not realllllly what I was expecting. *sighs* This is in NO way to be taken as a rant or even vaguely complaining, I’m just commenting, that’s all. My main problem is that I have no no no work suitable summer clothes. The last time I actually bought summer clothes had to be almost three years ago, and it is WELL worn out. I would be shamed to wear most of the stuff to the laundry room, much less to work. I don’t have any shoes either…so that kinda limits my already limited wardrobe even more. I was expecting a bit more transition time before I really had to pull out the ‘warm’ stuff. *sighs* I think I have enough stuff to get me trough this week (by the hair on my chinny chin chin) but I am for sure going clothes shopping this weekend. I get paid on Friday (which helps loads) and I will be hitting all of the lovely bargain basement places that I know of so that I can try to accumulate a rather cheap collection of suitable summer clothing. I am going to pay the minimum on all of my bills this month so that I can get everything that is on
“Jazzy’s I really really NEED this stuff list”
two pairs of sneakers (one to work out with and a cheaper pair to wear just kicking around)
a small but flexible summer wardrobe
some plants for my balcony and my house in general
driving lessons
and really… that is about it. I expect the sneakers to be the ‘biggest purchase’ for the least amount of stuff, as one pair can easily cost up to 100 bucks. *sighs* So far, I have a stack of bills in the house that I know need to be paid…hmm… the only ones that may be variable is one of the credit cards and my phone bill. Hmm… but that still leaves me with… *raised eyebrows* hmm… a rather healthy chunk of change to play with. And depending on how much of this raise I actually SEE…. Hmm… yes.. Jazzy might be able to have a bit of fun.
I have decided that when my lease is up, I am not going to resign another year long lease, I am just going to sign a six month one instead. As I plan on getting a car in September, I will be able to drive around and try to find another cheaper place to live…because I am pouring waaayyy too much money into this apartment. Though mercy KNOWS I do love it… *sighs* I don’t know… if I do move it is going to have to be to a verrah verrah nice place. And as I know I am NOT buying a house in this city. *sighs* I don’t know. I have to try to figure out how much this place is really worth. I feel utterly ridiculous for paying this much for an apartment (I’m paying more than most of my co-workers MORTAGES)..but at the same time really I can’t beat it. *sighs* I don’t know… paying for parking might be what kills me in the end. Ugh. I’m just not going to think about it right now.. leap over THAT particular bride/river when I get to it.
*grins* Who knows, by that time I might be living with Cheffy…by that time I might not even be HERE anymore. Not gonna stress it out. In fact… as soon as I can escape from this place of semi-misery that some call work I am going to the grocery to get the fixing for the pepper bread that I am making for the ‘Carry In’ here on Wednesday…and then I think I will clean my bedroom. *nods* Maybe I will get some incense from one of the little shops over by the grocery store so that I can make my house smell all lovely and stuff.

Stay Jazzed.

Forgive Me, for I have slacked...

*sighs* I am SO bad. I feel vaguely guilty, and yet not guilty at all. I have been SO slacking on this class that I need to graduate. Now I understand the dangers of starting working BEFORE you have fully completed your degree. For slackers like me, that is an open invitation to just not do SHIT. I have missed one assignment so far, and the next one is due tomorrow (which naturally i haven’t TOUCHED yet), which means I have two long ass assignments to do, that I haven’t even started on *sighs* I don’t know why… I actually tend to forget about the damn class. Clearly net learning is NOT good for me. *sighs* So.. I’m taking to laptop home with me tonight, along with the disk drive so that I can save frequently… and I am going to get to work. There will be no traipsing off to Pier One tonight for me. And no cleaning either. At least not until this amazing feat of bullshit/creative writing/ learning curve is complete. Just me, the computer, the 80 something dollar text book that I have yet to open, and maybe some music. Working away. :)
I feel so much better having confessed. I’m almost looking forward to doing this. I’m usually pretty good at designing systems. And after the past 5 months, I’m DAMN good at testing them. And as this computer is a HELL of a lot faster than mine…it won’t be as nerve wracking to work on it. And as it’s a lap top, it’s also VERY mobile. *nods* *pumps herself up* Yeah Yeah YEAAAHHHHH!!!!!

Stay(ing) Jazzed.

What DAY is it?????!!!???

*sings*
Never on Sunday
Monday’s too soon
Tuesday and Wednesday just won’t do…
Thursday and Friday weekend begins
But our Saturday LOVE….. will never end… sugah!

Guess what? It’s Friday. And guess what else? It’s warm…I’m talking close to 70 ° !! That is just SOOO Jazzy. This weekend I might be guilted into cleaning my apartment, as yesterday as soon as I got home I opened every window in my house, and I left them open all night without feeling the least bit chill. *sighs* I really was kinda trying to put it off…I mean WHO likes to clean right?? But today…if I am not TOO incapacitated by the cramps that seize my entire lower half and make me spasm like a fish freshly out of water…I think I might swing by the Pier One outlet again and see what they have new. As I am not really spending ‘my’ money (I’m still working off of the gift card to Pier One that my mommy gave me for Valentine’s) I don’t have to feel the least bit bad about going and splurging for more new stuff for my house.
I had to call my mommy and whine yesterday about the fact that they (they being Subaru) have changed the design of MY car… and they (horror of horrors) have taken out the freaking SUNROOF!! ARRGGGHH!!! That was one of the main reasons I wanted to get the stupid car (besides the lovely all wheel drive of course). *sighs* But the new body of the 2002 Impreza is just so freaking CUTE! I don’t know… I have been so fixated on sunroofs…now I have to start all over again and figure out what kind of car I want. I would just get a 01… but….from a quick search I did on the web, I don’t think they are going to be that easy to find. I mean when I was looking for them last year they were hard as hell to find. *sighs* Maybe I should just look into getting a sunroof installed in the car. Hm. It’s a thought. Hm. Looks like installing one aftermarket costs about the same as getting one factory installed. *sighs* *pouts* *whines vaguely*
Ahh welll… I’ll get over it. Maybe.
As I woman, I would like to say that if that whole Eve & the apple Genesis thing is even vaguely on point…contrary to any and all previous ideas, God has GOT to be a man. Otherwise, God wouldn’t have given us stuff like cramps and childbirth and all that other painful stuff than men can just look on and pat our hands and back and the like in pseudo-sympathy. *growls* I least I don’t PMS. *growls* I would prfer it.
*laughs* I just passed one of my co-workers in the hallway and she wished me a Happy Friday. It reminded me of that priceline commercial where the lady came up with the idea of St. Croix day… and managed to turn it into a sort of holiday for everybody.. while she was off on a plane to St. Croix. *sighs* Flying off somewhere on a semi spur of the moment sounds like a great idea to me. Yup yup yup….I’m browsing for cars again… *pouts* six more months.. that is what I keep telling myself… only six more months…
*softly chants*
There’s no place like home…I mean…Just six more months… just six more months…


Stay Jazzed.

I gotta go buy a tiara...

*does a little boogy-woogy shake my tushie dance*
I would first like to thank all of my wonderful wonderful readers for your support. Without you, I would never have reached this point.
I would also like to thank my fingers, for dutifully typing out each entry, and my eyes for being able to see the wonderful results.
And most importantly, I would like to thank my BRAIN…who has dedicated so much of her time to putting together words in arrangements that somehow usually manage to resemble sentences…

I HIT 1000 NOTES YA’LL

You guys like me… *sniff sniff* you guys realllllllly like me….

I’m Jazzed and ya’ll better STAY jazzed.

For Peter and his Shadow

*grins* Some jokes for my favorite pilot:

A DC-10 had an exceedingly long roll out after landing when his approach speed was just a little too fast. San Jose Tower: "American 751 heavy, turn right at the end, if able. If not able, take the Guadeloupe exit off of Highway 101 and make a right at the light to return to the airport.

---

O'Hare Approach Control: "United 329 Heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, 3 miles, eastbound
United 329: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this... I've got that Fokker in sight!"

*grins* Hope ya'll enjoy....

All's Well....

Thank you everybody for the good wishes at the doctors…it went WONDERFUL. According to the doctor, there are 4 levels of severity for ‘abnormal cells’ with the lowest being 1 and the highest being 4. He said that my little patch of oddities was a ½. :) Not even a one. Ain’t that just lovely??? And we went over the whole birth control thing real quick… but as I was on the damn things for five years beforehand, there was very little that we touched on. :) I have to go back in about two months to get some pills and get a check-up PAP. Hopefully then everything will be clear and happy little cells. If that ‘odd’ patch is still there, he is gonna *shiver* FREEZE my cervix and hope that normal ones grow back. Is that or is that not the freakiest thing you have ever heard?? *shudders* I hope they go away on their own. I get old easy enough… I really don’t want any cold stuff in MY stuff….

Work has been pretty good today…keeping me busy and on the run. Transitioning to this new role shouldn’t leave me much time TO be bored. Like a said, the woman I’m learning from is really high strung, but god knows that makes for an interesting time. :) It’s kinda funny me dashing after her, as I am a notoriously slow walker and she…isn’t. :) But it’s actually kinda cool as I am LEARNING…praise the heavens.
I miss my Cheffy. *laughs* He actually went HOME last night, and thus I completely missed out on him. Though I thought I heard him come in last night… *sighs* but it was just dreamy me. I got plenty of sleep for once, as I went to sleep around 8:30pm. *sighs* It was wonderful…I actually woke up with my alarm clock at 6, and STILL went back to sleep… even though I didn’t really need to. I got out of bed at my usual hour of 7am…but I haven’t been sleepy ONCE today, even though I ate a sandwich and chips and soda for lunch. It’s kinda sad how much of a difference a little sleep makes.

Well… it’s taken me all day to write this one really short entry, and I would write more but I refuse to miss my bus and end up stuck here until 6. That just ain’t happening today.

Stay Jazzed….

:( ):

Cheerful Cheerful. That’s kinda me today. I haven’t been sleepy much (which is a blessing) and I am kinda…upbeat. It’s rather lovely. I’m sure it is a side effect of the fact that I know that I have a short day today, as I am out of here at 2:00 pm so that I can go to the doctors. *sighs* Finally, I get to ask them what is wrong with me… if anything. I never got any information back about the biopsy…so I am still assuming nothing is wrong. *shrugs* Cheffy keeps asking me when I am going back to the doctors…I wonder if he has an ulterior motive though. :)
*sighs* Blagh…I’m bored today though. The little bit that I had to do I got done in about 20 minutes, and as far as the ‘training’ for the new duties that I am supposed to be taking on is going… *sighs* That is just going slow. The woman who is supposed to be training me (the same one I think is pregnant) is so…high strung that it’s kinda amusing. And then she has a very…curt tone the more high strung she feels, and so she tends to be really snippy at people, even though I’m sure that she doesn’t mean to be. *shrugs* I chalk it up to her not being American… :)
Not many people wrote in the OD today…though quite a few of the people who did were folx that I hadn’t read in a while… so that was nice. But… I wanna read more.
Blagh.
Don’t really WANT to write. Just trying to do something to waste time.

Consider it wasted.
I wish I was wasted. *giggles* or at least sleep.

Stay Jazzed.

I've had better...thanks..

*yawns hugely* I’ve had a wonderful weekend. As it decided to be cold as hell rather than the lovely 60 ° I expected it to be…(ohhhh thank you Wendy!!!) I stayed in all weekend except when I ran out to get fixings for bread. It was rather nice. I’m itching to do some serious spring cleaning… but it just doesn’t FEEL like spring cleaning unless all the windows are open and a nice warm SPRINGY breeze is blowing through the house. As nothing of the sort has occurred yet in this accursed town…well let’s just say that my pad is not in the lovely state that it could be. Weekends are usually the best when they just all kind of blur together into one smooth symbol of calmness…just lovely.
I didn’t get as much rest as I had hoped…or I ate too much bread. :) It’s just SOOO yummy. I made two loaves of cinnamon swirl bread…and the swirl and all came out RIGHT this time (addition of eggs and a double rising and a tighter roll) as well as three mini loaves of pepper cheese bread… *sighs with delight* Cheffy is consuming the cinnamon bread (as I made it for him that is only logical…I’m not too crazy about it) while I am eating the cheesy stuff. It really pokes all of my food buttons. Bread is already yuuuummmmmmy as all get out…but to have it baked with yummy FRESH peppery cheese in it. *rolls eyes* oh heaven…toasted… with just the TINIEST hint of butter swooped across it… *sighs* and I wonder why I’m not losing any weight. My mouth is watering just THINKING about it…. And then it is LITTLE bread too… with makes it even more snacky and finger foody. Yum yum yum.
Anyhow…as I was saying I didn’t get as much rest as I had hoped because I am just so so sleepy. *wriggles* But by the time I get home I’m not quite as sleep y anymore and I think of all the things I could do while I am at home and I don’t go to bed till 10:30 11:00 and I wake up sleepy the next morning. *sighs* And the main reason I stay up so late is so that I can see Cheffy for a little while when he comes in from work. *shrugs* It’s just nice to do…
I reaaallllly want to just go home and go to sleep tonight after a light dinner of toast and tea… :) but I doubt that I will… *sighs* I’ll try though. :) My new furniture is just so danggone comfy that I tend to get all settled in out there and not wanna go into my not quite so nice bedroom and go to bed. *sighs* I guess the bedroom is going to be my next fixer-upper. I actually managed to get my hair tightened up over the weekend. Yes… it took me alllll weekend…most of Friday night, all of Saturday…and while I wasn’t doing it continuously…still it took longer than I had expected. The results are very much so worth it… at least to me. I doubt that anyone else can even really tell that I did anything to it, although you can see a bit more of my natural color now. I however, can most certainly feel and tell the difference. Why tightening up my roots makes the whole loc feel smoother and tighter I have no clue, but I like the end result. Then again, maybe it was the conditioner that is really doing all the hard work. Whatever the reason I am thrilled with it. It’s just starting to feel more ‘locked’. *does a happy twirly dance*

Ugh. It’s only 2:15…*sighs* Well.. at least we didn’t change the time here today… I’m back on Central time again. If it was 1:15 and I was feeling the way I do right now I think I would have to seriously harm someone. Really.
I haven’t done a survey in simply AGES… hmmm… mainly because none of my favourties have done any. *sniffs* Maybe I will wander the jungle of randomhood and see if I can find something that way…


Stay Jazzed.