Body Matters

I see beautiful women, and I wonder if they like their life. *sighs* I know that every woman, no matter how lovely, most likely has some issues about her looks…simply a side effect of America.
But, when other people look at beautiful women, are they treated differently? Are they summed up as the totality of their appearance alone? I am wondering because I want to become a beautiful woman. Perhaps I should explain what I mean by a beautiful women. Have you ever seen that woman who makes your head turn without a second thought? She walks by and it’s like ..wow…grace has touched her. She radiates something far beyond just physical beauty. She *thinks* she reminds you of something greater, she is like a goddess.
Physical beauty is a part of it, yes without a doubt. But there is also something that comes from within that insures the beauty is always there, not matter what age the woman is. I think that I have some of that grace, but because I am not truly comfortable with my body and my looks as a whole, I can’t settle into the full range of beauty that I could possibly have. At the same time, I wonder if I really WANT to be more attractive...if I would want the attention that may follow me. *sighs* Brothas can get on my nerve as it is now…do I really want to be any prettier? sexier? slimmer?
*shakes head* Some how this sounds so freakin conceited…but I’m not. It’s just that I see beautiful women, and I see how people look at them...and I wonder if it bothers them. And you can’t just walk up to a sista and say.. “Does it bug you when brothas scan you like a hot pot roast?” or “Okay…do you LIKE getting hit on damn near 24-7?” *shrugs* And I know just the little bit of attention I get is like… Whoa….ya’ll are trippin, so I wonder if I could handle anymore.

I need a personal trainer…because I know what I want my body to be able to do and to look like...but I have no clue how to get it to be that way. I used to be able to put my feet flat behind my head, and sit in contorted positions for extended periods of time. I really just want my flexibility back…and I want a lot more strength. And balance…and grace…and endurance. *sighs* and cardio strength…and all that other jazz that having a truly healthy body entails. I want to have a dancers body… *sighs* I wanna wanna wanna dance...I wanna wanna wanna be free…I wanna wanna wanna be able to leave the house without a bra…I wanna wanna wanna be all of me. Ya know I have considered going through basic training JUST to get in shape. Thas ugly ain’t it??

Stay Jazzed.