The Dash Between

So.... went to the Coven Meeting (by the way, her craft name is Hecate - which to me, is a pretty ballsy name to take on - in my mind, that's along the lines of having the craft name Kali.........) 

*sighs* 
The good: Interesting meeting, two great women there, had a wonderful, wonderfully wandering conversation - I introduced them to the concept of chop wood/carry water pagans (thanks madrun !!!) and bascially bounced all sorts of things around. It was a GREAT conversation - definitely made at least one new friend.

The unexpected: The other two women there - were black! *jaw drops* Not only were they black, they also know of several OTHER black Kemetics (I suspect they are of the nationalistic variety, but beggars no choosers) - and as we hit it off WONDERFULLY - I might have found the link to another paganistic community in Memphis. 


The bad: *siiiiiiggghhh* I plan on going to another meeting (and those intentions get weaker and weaker every day)  - but - in and of itself - I doubt that I'm going to be participating, and I feel rather - badly about it, simply because Samantha (I can't call her by her craft name - it just doesn't FEEL right) seemed so - *thinks* despondent? sad? abandoned? lonely?
Firstly, of course, there was the whole 'coven meeting in a BOOKSTORE' thing. Then, there was the fact that despite she knew that the people coming would all be new (three people showed up, me, and the abovementioned two black women) she didn't have anything  - at all - to say. Then, there was the fact that out of a group of about 25 people (at least that's how many people are in her online group) - NONE of them but her showed up.  And if us newbies hadn't been there - she would have been sitting in the bookstore all by herself. 
It was like - it wasn't a meeting, it was a - a - I don't know - a chance to sit in the bookstore? If we (the three newbies) didn't get along (and provide 90% of the conversation), the four of us would have been sitting around the table in silence.  She talked twice - once about her cats, and once about how after she brought 200 dollars worth of food for a coven meeting, no one showed up. *erm?*  Is that really the sort of face you want to put on your group? Sheeee.......
And then, of course, there was Samantha herself.  I tend to judge a group (rightly or wrongly) by the leader - especially small, intimate groups like this one. She was......................I don't know quite how to describe it. Weak, isn't quite the right word. Ah! She had a very small personality.  Not small as in petty or mean, but small, as in mouselike and withdrawn.  Now, I know that not everyone is the bubbly outgoing type - but - at a meeting - for three new women who indicated some interest in your group - wouldn't you have SOMETHING to say about the group? About how it works? About what ya'll do? About - anything???  
And we - all three of us, at one point or another - asked her if she wanted to, ya know, kick the meeting off - and each time, we just got a little shrug, and a 'It's fine'.  *raised eyebrow*  




Overall, I'm glad I went.  I met some great people, I actually displayed the intestinal fortitude to be in a BOOKstore and not even browse (largely because I knew that if I browsed, I would end up buying. And it was a full price bookstore - and I haven't spent full price on books in.......well, it's been a LONG time).  
But, I definitely haven't found - at least not in the The Sisters of the Triple Goddess coven (wow, just realized the name - I wonder if that's why she picked Hecate? Tsk - if I go next Wednesday, I'll be sure to ask her) the group that I want to jump into and work with.  

Doors and windows, doors and windows.