Here Again

Stupid child? nope.. that doesn’t quite fit it.

I don’t know what I feel afterwards, later on. It’s an amazing drug, infatuation is…something that completely overwhelms you…but only while the infatuee is there. *sighs* I don’t know. One of my friends suggested that I simply have fun, enjoy it for now, and keep my eyes open. That is what I am doing…that is all I plan on doing…and yet I want to do more. *sighs* I feel like I am forcing myself into time table that makes no sense, and has no relation to my feelings. *shrugs* I don’t know, and it ain’t something I can constructively stress over, so… I’m just gonna live through it. The ‘but…what if’s’ are a real drain on my energy. If there was nothing else that I learned from the fiasco that was me & Papi’s relationship, it is if you look for trouble, you will find it.

Hm. Anyhow. Over the weekend I took out my braids, colored my hair, and twisted it. *sighs* Talk about an entire weekend gone. It took me about 8 hours to take me hair out, wash it, and condition it. It took me about two hours to color it, 8 more hours to twist it, and I STILL ain’t too pleased with how it looks. The color I love, it is a rich black with a red undertone ( goes great with me skin) , but the twists themselves are… so-so. My hair is wonderfully soft, and it really did grow (I could tell from the demarcation line of the reddish color vs. my natural color) almost an inch or so since I colored it. :) Wonderful hm? *sighs* The love/hate affair I have with my body parts amazes even me sometimes. Ah well.

Life…oh life…oh lifeeeeee…oh life!

I understand the need for a religion… a need for a guide to life that is more or less permanent and can fit any situation. Dammit. There are some things that even religion can’t explain.

Stay Jazzed.