The Season's A-Changing

*wiggles with joy* It’s Friday Friday Friday…AND it's the first day of Fall. Ahh...the sun shall show his face less and less until December. hmm. I wonder if I will be here then, or will I be in Pa? hm.

*sighs* It has taken way toooo long for this day to get here, and at the same time, this week has simply flownnnnnnnn by. *smiles* Anyhow….

Went home last night and cleaned up my house, then collapsed in a sexy sweet smelling heap on my bed. I lavished myself…hot hot shower, oil rub, sweet smelling lotion. Ummhmmmm I was a hot mamma!! The water in this city is so hard that it dries out my skin something horrible. So, every once in a while I have to really pamper myself, other wise I will turn into a rough and dry husk of a woman. *laughs* That is one good thing about this diet I am trying to stick to…I don’t have to worry about lacking enough fat to keep me sleek. Ummhmm…

*ch* That is my new sound..part surprise, part sigh. Sounds like cheese without the ‘ease’ part. Anyhow…that is the sound I am making right now. *ch* Why? Because…hmm.. I want to talk about this but not sure how.. so I will let my fingers work on their own. Anyhow.. me & Papi had re-started our daily emails back & forth…calm & casual…rather nice. So, yesterday…(the day before?) I made a comment that was unabashedly salacious…:) not hot-assed, just red-blooded, and he expressed surprise that I would make such a comment to him… I told him that once I got over something, I was well and truly over it, and that my feelings for him/about him had reverted to what I felt like the beginning of this year. When asked what those feelings were, I told him that I looked upon him as a brother and a friend, with no chance of anything romantic happening EVER. Period. I told him that I had to move on…hm.

Somehow, I don’t think that was quite the response he was expecting at all, because he said that he needed to take some time away to re-set HIS emotional state and what he was feeling. I want to write about this because I am wondering what he expected…did he think that there would remain the possibility of us getting back together? that I would continue to carry a flame for him? For a while…yes, I did. I will admit it, but then I realized that if I kept carrying a flame for him I would not be able to catch a flame for or from anyone else, and that led me to drop that firebrand like it was hot.

So…now we are off-limits until Thursday, and I am without a doubt curious to see what if anything he will say when he comes back. Hm. I don’t know…I couldn’t go back with him…simply because I couldn’t. *laughs* Even if we had not broke up in the manner that we did, I would not risk our friendship again… not for shit. That was one of the main rules in Jazzy Rules for Dating & Relationships…and that is one I am not going to break for ANYBODY…especially mi Papi.

Money Money Money… hm hm hm… :) So wonderful to spend it. I have been buying stuff like mad online. music & videos & other stuff. Hmmmm…. I am going to get paid again soon, and I need to drop off my rent check for next month. hm hm hm. I am trying to be good, but I know that tonight I am going to be spending amazing amounts of money on hair stuff tonight/this evening. I wish I knew where a hair supply store was so I wouldn’t have to spend the enormous amounts of money that I know I am going to drop in CVS. Ah well….

Tonight will be a test of Chef. :) I am going to be taking my hair out, and if he can handle me wild & funky hair and all, he might just be a keeper. He has asked me to be ‘his lady’…and while the thought gives me a frisson of delight, I’m not sure. I need some time to think about it. Besides, I have only known him for *thinks* 22 days. We met on first Friday, which this month happened to be the first of the month. *sighs* I don’t know what to do… confusion confusion confusion.

Hmm.. for lunch there will be Carribean food. :) Yum.

Stay Jazzed.