Prayer

I pray
with bated breath
the beats of my heart
counting out the rosary
of my penitence
I kneel
before something so great
it is unknowable
and plead
for what I have not yet
earned
I supplicate
the deaf god
of my world
I show
the blind ruler
of this universe
my pains
I entreat
the heartless creator
to free me
from its creation
and receive nothing
but
less hope
less faith
less trust
in the god of
my doubting heart


People casually say: “pray for me” or “I will pray for you”. I wished that I could utter those words, and feel the security and peace in the utterance that it will make a difference, that something will actually be changed by just the concerted thoughts of people on the problem. Belief in prayer however, implies belief in a god that listens, in a creator that acknowledges me and my petty pains and minor issues, and pessimistic as it may be, I think that if there were a god like that, we would have had another flood, another rain of fire and brimstone, another huge natural disaster that would shake human kind out of their sheep like idiocy and stoic cruelty to each other.

*shrugs* Maybe it’s a really narrow view of humans, but as a whole, we are a really twisted species. *sighs* And anything that allows us to keep on doing what we are doing to each other and the world we live on, doesn’t seem like something I would want to put my faith and trust in.

Stay Jazzed.