Beliefs & Mysteries

I haven't written a good essay in awhile....actually I haven't written too much of ANYTHING in a while. Little scraps of stuff, bubbling tot he surface, but...nothing serious. Nothing detailed or long winded orthat uses my wonderful vocabulary. I have been doing a heap of reading tho. Fiction & Non fiction, and that is a new one for me. I think that...i KNOW that I have the ability within me to write in wonder & amazement... my magic is in words.

hm. That is something that I can talk about... how I believe that each of us has a magic that will allow us to fully fulfill ourselves. If we deny that magic it's outlet, we stifle ourselves and the beauty that we hold. *sighs* Okkay.. I'm not saying this right....

As humans, we each havea single skill that surpasses most others. Some of us are blesse with more than one, but we ALL have one. For some, it is a wizardry with math... for others it is a way with people... for some it is music.. others art... others of the mind & some of the body. No matter how crippled in heart & soul we may be, we each HAVE this magic. NO one can take it from us, but we can stifle its expression. Okay.... when you use your magic is a healthy way, on a daily basis, your life becomes filled with joy & a sense of rightness. You are doing what you were created to do, and that fufills the mind, body & soul. Ever meet a person who just hates the world? Never gets a moment of joy from anything or anybody? they have stifled or someone has stifled for them, their magic so throughly that they have lost all joy. Those psychopaths that one meets? They have twiste their magic into something warped and ugly. Most ofthem get along with people well, and use that to harm others... pulling people into that web. *shakes head* It is odd writing down someting that has always beena resident belif with me, but I could never quite find a way to put into words.
I think that those people who are most fufilled, most joyful have found that spot that is theirs... that place inthe world where their magic works best for them. Hm, Perhaps if insetead of magic I called it Talent, it would make more sense. AH! It is like a river...hidden under the earth. As long as the river flows along ts right way, unrestricted or bound, all is well. But let something block the rivers path, or turn it away from it's streambed, and trouble appears on the earth. Things die, become stunted.... become hard. And if the river is turned away from it's right way for too long, it becomes fixed it that warped pattern... warping the earth as well. So.. the river is our Talent/magic, and the earth is us. How we feel about ourselves, how we realte to life... it is all reflected by how our talent flows.


I once told someone that if we compare a tree to itsef it is perfect. Nothing else can fit the space that the tree has made so well. At times I forget to apply this to myself. I always compare myself against some standard that is not....well me. How can I compare myself to that which is not me? *sighs* There is no bench mark for Jazzybelleness. So.. I am alewas comparing myselfagainst some vague unattainable THING.... that I couldn't be if I really wanted to bebecause that THING is not me. *sighs* NOT to say that I cannot change because I can... but... *sighs* another one of those vague beliefs that I hold on to but can't be explained very well. It is just understanding or not understanding. there is no middlestage.

I wish I could sleep with my eyes open... I am honestly too tired to

Stay Jazzed