J said - Re: Side Notes that I have to say

Dammit.

I NEED TO SAY SOMETHING THAT IS FAR BEYOND WORDS. I NEED TO SPEAK OF SOMETHING THAT CANNOT BE HELD ON A PAGE. I NEED TO TELL YOU THAT I LOVE YOU.


Dammit.


But will that make a difference, Papi?


Dammit.


I think that I don't like email any more.


Dammit to HELL Chris.



She stirs in the silent dark room, listening to the sounds drifting up from below. Still half asleep they filter into the sounds of a fight. She drifts back to sleep and dreams.


Her hands are tied behind her. She is laying curled up ...under a heavy mildewly blanket. Her feet are tied together. She wiggles out from under the blanket...terrified as to what she will see. She looks out into her living room...and watches as he hits her once...twice...thrice...four fivesixseveneightnineteneleventwelve times...she stops counting...tears fill her eyes. She is silent. She is still. She is helpless and hopeless.



Dammit.


I NEED TO HEAR SOMETHING THAT CANNOT BE SPOKEN. I NEED TO SAY SOMETHING THAT CANNOT BE SAID.


I can't stop you, but damn I don't want you to go.


Dammit.


Dammit to HELL.


Why?


I can't cry at work.

So I will go now.


Dammit.


I can't even find out if something happened. IF something happens. POOF. GONE. SHIT.


Please don't scare me. Please please please please please please please please please don't die on me.

I love you to much to lose you. Please Papi?


J.