Monday, May 3, 1999

Damn my mouth &the foot sticking out of it

*sighs*


Okay... character flaw. Generous to a fault. Sometimes I forget to say no...and then later can't take it back. Or...I don;t feel right doing so...How so?


My best friend in all creation (Nee) has an intership in the lovely city...and she asked if she could stay with me. I said yes...and now I regret it. It will only be for June and July...but still...*siiiigghhhs* I have begun to treasure the utter ALONESS of my house....I wlak in after work and say Hello house...and fell quite thrilled by the echos.
I am the only one there...my scents and my clothes and my books and my unfinshed projects and half begun thoughts lay scattered about. I stroll through the house boldly nude... or barely covered in a wrap. It is MINE...all mine.. my little abode of me-ness. And I wonder if her being there will ruin the me-ness of it. Make it 'our' place...with 'our' smells and things and tastes and....*siiiiiggggh*
And add to that the fact that my house is a tiny bit bigger than a studio (only a tiny bit mind you) and the thought of someone else LIVING there (not visiting.. not stopping through.. but STAYING) rattles me. I understand (ah bitter understading) now what my cousin meant...the house is simply too small. I love Nee to NOOOO end..but...I really don't think we should live together.


Now... how can I tell her this without hurting her feelings...or making it seem liek I don;t want her around....*siiiiiiiiiiiighs*


Friends...like family...make life so much easier and so much harder at the same time.


J.

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