Sun...lights...up...the Sky.

Sooo.. I’m sitting at my desk cold, paranoid.. slightly terrified and utterly out of order. Wow. Tomorrow… *grins* I mean I know other folx have met other diarists but this going sooo far. *laughs* me & CAK are more than just other diarists.. god. Why? Okay…
1) cold…office. Men. White men. Yes..they DO have a lower air temperature requirement than I do.
2) Paraniod..mainly because..well we have a wonderful friendship.. I don’t want to stop it in it’s tracks…. But I don’t want to ruin it by pushing to far. *sighs* I don’t know….I have occasionally THOUGHT about being WITH CAK….but I KNOW it wouldn’t work. We are too different and too much the same. *grins* and there is NO way I could survive in a LDR, *grins* I like… I NEED affection…touch… (SEX) too much for that. And he is… *sniffs* about to move to CALIFORNIA?!?!?!?!?!?????? So.. I’m urghhy.
3) Terrified? See above.
4) Out of Order? *humph* I feel like everything is everything or nothing at all. I’m making no sense what so ever but.. goodness. I realize I’m not going to be talking about too much else for the next few days, so bear with me. And I’m tired. God.. I was really going somewhere there and it just *shlooop* slipped out of my head.


Anyway….. Q came over last night. *laughs* I told him before he could get the job he had to submit to an examination…. I must say he passed with flying colors. *shakes head* I have never seen such an incredible display of self control in ALL of my life. Umph. Even I’m not THAT good…but I like him. He is…….a lot different from what I expected.. and he has a simply LOVELY body.. *shakes head* umph umph umph….and… he is.. I don’t know…. I guess I had/have an idea of what jail birds are.. and he doesn’t fit any of the molds. *sighs* hm. And he is so… open about his experiences in there.. it makes him… intriguing. So I’m kinda sleepy now…but hopefully I will be able to sleep in the car on the way to DC (since I can’t drive…at all) and I will be fresh & rested & stuff once I get there. *grins* I am supposed to be hooking up with so many folx.. *shakes head* this really will be amazing… My First Road Trip. *pats bag* and I have a good supply of lube & film to record every moment.

Thursday…things weren’t the same…(*hums Mary J’s song*)

Okay.. the songs in my head are so sappy.. considering how much of a hopeless romantic I am not. But.. god…. It’s weird because I have this song in my Head that I associate with MJW (I’m still not sure why) and for my first few years of college it would ALWAYS make me cry…. I still don’t know you actually originally sang it, But I have a version by Randy Crawford…my favorite verse(s)

Everything must change…
Nothing stays the same…
Rain comes from the clouds…
Sun lights up the sky…
Humming birds do fly (ay yay ay ay yay ay)

And sometimes…

Music makes me crrrryyyyyyy.

*shakes head* the MOST beautiful song I have ever heard. Anybody know who it’s by? I need music money. I need book money. I need moonnnneeey…….

The main problem with getting involved with your best friend? Who do you talk to about your relationship?? *laughs* oh god. I don’t know. I don’t know…..okay.. I SWEAR.. I’m going to stop harping on it now.. really I am. I need to go do some work…I wish these jumbo jets in my stomach would land so that it would be easier to….

Stay Jazzed