Beauty Sleeps

Whooohoooo…I’m in SUCH a darn good mood for some reason. Sleepy.. yes.. but..*shrugs* cheerful mood. Hmm.. what shall be the topic for today? *laughs* I haven’t done a SCRAP of work today.. between carrying on an email conversation with CAK, running back and forth dealing with these data tapes, and arranging lunch for a training group.. *sighs* I have had an interesting day so far. Ah.. I know what I will talk about. The impression of beauty.

Hmm.. how to enter into this topic? It is something that every woman..(and maybe some men) deal with on a daily basis. Our own attractiveness.. what draws some people to others like honey to flies, and leaves others on the sidelines simply watching the world go by? I have been mulling this over for a while, as I have begun to feel less and less.. ‘attractive’. At least in the immediate physical way. *thinks* And it isn’t that I mind.. because I’m not really interested in finding anyone ‘for’ me. I’m not on the hunt...and I am not interested in being hunted. But still it is the little things that makes me wonder sometimes.. what is it that I’m missing that makes…me so different?
Okay.. I KNOW I am not the slimmest person around…but I carry all of my weight well.. *smiles* in...classically acceptable places. I don’t have the fly hair…but…my hair is gorgeous...at least to me. I guess the whole thing that I am dealing with is others perception of my appearance. I don’t do much to change what I look like. I rarely wear makeup, my hair style tends to be strictly functional...and.. *shakes head* I don’t know. Then…the thing that blows my mind is that Nee.. who is utterly lovely…worries the same way that I do. She is a size 8, gorgeous thick long hair, curvaceous...and yet she STILL worries about her appearance. She always wears makeup, and steady worries about her clothing & so forth. Why? *laughs* I always tell her I can’t take her anywhere because everywhere she goes she gets hit on. Yet she still worries about her looks. What are we (the both of us…and most women) striving for? I mean… I know that I don’t want to look like a fashion model (as my momma told me…only a dog wants a bone) I love my skin color.. I love the body that I’m in...but I don’t want it. I want to be something else…or at least look like something else.. in a conscious effort to become more attractive. But, at the same time… why am I trying to be more attractive...when I am not trying to attract anyone? *sighs* and why is Nee worried about her looks, when she looks like what most folx would WANT to look like. What are we striving for? What set of beauty is there that prevents us, no matter what we look like ,with being satisfied with it?


Okay...that is all I had to say about that. Lunch was wonderful.. there is this store called Eatzi's’. that is a grocery store/bakery...but of the gourmet type. *rolls eyes* It is so wonderful and good, and the free samples they give out REALLY do help. So I went there…got an utterly wonderful roast beef sandwich and some stuffed grapes leaves. Hey.. I eat odd stuff.