Scabs are a GOOD thing....

This is from June 5th

*stretch & wiggle* A good night’s sleep is a wonder to behold. It makes you feel SOOO much better and stuff inside….it has been a productive day. I was considering using this space form for more than just a lurid retelling of my day...but instead as a reflection of it.

*sighs* Okay...the day is done to all intents and purposes.. in fact it is the next day. Nee is here…and she has pulled my coattail to a few things. *sighs* I will have a lot to think about. Damn him. I am still in love with MJW…and this will cause problems… *sighs* why is it that stuff that you need to put away from you the most always manage to pop back up just when you thought that you had utterly vanquished them? I mean...what is up with that. *smiles* Nee is here…. I will like us living together I think.. human contact will draw me out of my shell I think. And she IS my girl…my sista of the heart & hand.
What have I accomplished this day?
I cleaned my house…finally.
I went grocery shopping…I have to present a proper guest feast.
I admitted to my love of MJW. as much I as I wish that I didn’t have it.. it haunts me.
I missed CAK. *smiles* and I’m not the least bit jealous of where he is (with his…I don’t know what she is to him…but she is something important) or possessive. *sighs* ever since yesterday I have had this feeling of falling or flying away from everything. I am more at peace with myself than I have been for a while. it is an almost unnatural utter calm. like the still in the air before a tornado…

I am so not ready to talk to him. He makes me cry. I HATE to cry over emotions…to me it is a sign of weakness and lack off control and god/dess knows I try my damnedst to be the strongest most on top of it in control sista there is. *sighs* I am NOT ready for this.
I gird up my loins and go into battle…and the whole time I WILL...

Stay Jazzed.