What do you do....

What do you do:

When the man you love makes your stomach hurt?
When you know you are losing something…but don’t know what or how to keep it there?
When the lover you never had gets a girlfriend?
When the sister you never had…drives you crazy?
When you realize the no mater how much money you make…life will still suck sometimes?
When all that matters… is the next way to forget that you exist?
When you realize how & why people become addicts?
And you wonder if you are brave enough to go down that path?
When friends are no further away than a keystroke…but too far to hold you when you need to cry?
When the woman you want is married?
and her husband wants you too?
When the newest friend you have had for years tries to go further?
When sex no longer becomes casual?
When the test is positive?
When you are tired of not being negative?
When something is so wrong, but everything seems so right?
When life is amazing…and there is no one to share it with?

What do you do…when all you want to do is nothing at all?
What do you do…when you realize that loneliness is a state of life…not a state of mind?
what do you do…when you realize that nothing you can do will help you find a soulmate?
What do you do…when all you need is a ear…that has no mind attached?
What do you do…when writing is all you can do…and sex is all you want?
What do you do…when you want something more?
What do you do…when you don’t remember what is was you wanted to do anyway?

You stay jazzed… and stand still...and wonder WHY you chose to be here…
And then the sun breaks through the clouds… and the sunset turns the whole room golden and you remember…you go through the confused parts for times like these…when everything is silent and warm and perfect... even if only for a second…and you don’t really have any questions anymore.