One Hundred Percent...Pure....

*madness*

I simply won’t be satisfied with *hugs & kisses* anymore, cuz I’ve had the real thing.

*If I take a plane up eaarrrly on Saturday or late Friday... and come back Sunday afternoon….*

*arrghh* I have been touched & infected & overwhelmed and I just don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t want to fall…off that cliff cuz once I get to the bottom I can’t ever climb back up.

I was being my classically smart assed self and he threatened to speak to me in only Spanish. *groans* The way he whispers his Spanish I could get arrested for the things I would want to do to him……

I think I would have sat down at Gate A and cried if he had left. Oh god. And now… I don’t know what to do…my relationship-style emotions are so fucking volatile that I can’t trust them. I love him yes.. but do I love him ‘like that’? and will it last or…will it go the way of Mike & James?

*sighs* shit. My heart & me had a deal for a while. I get to sleep around and she just slept. Silent...cold…closed. Now she is awake and being rather insistent. *groans* Oh god…this could get ugly.

He said I had pretty eyes. *rolls them expressively* I have been going around thinking of his…every time I looked into them the two CAK’s merged perfectly…and it is a circle…I try to think of not thinking of him and it just doesn’t work. I just think of something else about him to think of. Dammit.

I saw Crystal Waters on Saturday.
100% pure love
from the front to the middle
and back again
I’m gonna love ya
Until the end
100 percent
pure love


*arrgghh* I am so not ready for this.

Prince on the way home Sunday.

I would
die for
you.

Hypothecticals – your child or your mate. You can only save one from the avalanche.

I would
die for
you.

I am under an avalanche…getting swept away utterly out of control and…I don’t know if I like it.

*groans* oh oh oh. Kisses like blessings and butteflies. Shameless PDA.

Sweet Dreams are made of these…

Oh. Oh. Oh.

I think…maybe I’m feeling like I felt for MJW. And of god I never want to have to go through that hurt again...but he feels the same way so it should be jazzy right? Not so. Why? Cuz I’m a punk. I’m scared of love and relationships and oh dear god don’t even SAY the c- word.

Define: Jazzy.

The state of being jazzed.

Jazzed- to be one with oneself. To be whole. To be at peace. To be sane in an insane world and free to be your own perfect perfection. To be aware of the growth that will come and the path you have already taken. To know the path that you desire. To be strong. To respect, but not bow down to fear. To be jazzed.

He is spiritual. He looks up to God. I…am not. At least not in a classic way. But then again nothing about me is classic. Classy.. yes.. on occasion. Classic.. no.
OH. But today…I understand…sometimes you just need SOMEONE to let it all go to.

We talked about guardian angels on the way home. They asked me if I had ever seen mine…I said no & said that I hoped never to because that would been that something really serious was coming down the track that me & my momma & my friends simply could not handle alone. I never even considered that she could be a harbinger of joy.. or an open ear.

When you fall in love with your best friend…who do you talk to about it? Arrgh.

Stay…Jazzed.