perfection

Once, a long long time ago, when I was a teenager and horribly split between being me and being the 'perfect' teen, I told myself that I was perfectly ME. You don't call a tree imperfect because it's not straight - it's just a tree, and in it's treeishness, it's beautiful and lovely, and perfectly Tree.

Anytime you judge something outside of what it is - it's going to fall short. Even a ruler isn't PERFECTLY straight. There are things in life that are close to perfect - but not being those things doesn't make you horrible. It makes us imperfect, wonderful beings.

I have to start reminding myself of that more. I'm perfect as me. As A'ishah, I'm a perfect representation of who I am - cuz I'm measuring me against myself.  And yeah - even the PERFECT me can be a BETTER me - but I really have to let go of trying to compare myself to someone else to try to figure out what I'm worth. I know being slimmer is BETTER for me - but I can't let myself feel bad because I'm fatter than everyone I work with. I just have to accept my state, and work to bettering it. I know I could be a BETTER wife to C, but I don't compare our marriage to others marriages - because - well, they ain't us. And never could be us.....and so how can I possibly compare myself to them?

Being less than perfect is what makes me, me - and what makes other people even interested in me. A little crack in the clay tends to make the pot even more beautiful - it makes it unique. And each of our faults, our failings, our not-quite-the-best choices and decisions - that's what makes us human.

And we're all perfectly human. Imperfections and all.