Well, my new style lasted for about 5 days before it was just too matted for me to be happy with it - but still! That's very reasonable - I could alternate this style, and my 'protective' style to give me some alternation.

Anyhow! It's been about 6 months since I've started on this hair journey. My hair is a little shorter than it was when I started (by my choice!), but I have more skills, more knowledge, and a cabinent full of wonderful substances for the health of my hair bot externally and internally. I'm not as healthy as I would like to be overall - in fact, I feel LESS healthy at the end of this year - but that is one of my main goals in the next - to get back on track with the physical changes that I was making, and prepare myself for my next adventure.....

Happy New Year's Yall - may this year be your best year ever!

Is 2006 really over???

I know - It's the 31st of December, which means, yeah, 2006 is officially almost over - but - damn....this year just whizzed on by. I'm not ready for time to start to fly by just yet - I want the days to plod by, and for weeks to stretch out into forever. 

Well - the highlights of my year....

• Made semi-finalist for The Amazing Race 10. Didn't make it any further, can't bear to watch the show anymore.
• Started leasing to own a house and land from the gov't and the bank - and have actually done a good bit to make it ours.
• Agreed with The Boy that would would start officially trying for a little Black in 2007.
• Wrecked my car
• Attended my first birth
• Got my first doula client
• Started and buried several friendships and a woman's group.
• Hubby went from line cook, to Exec Sous, to Exec in a year (cuz he's the shit, thas why)
• Paid off all of our debts
• Made new friends
• Started walking my spiritual path

2006 has really been a year of new things - new begininnings, new lessons, new awarenesses -  There have been places that sucked, but looking back over the year, my mind is glossing those over, and the highlight blaze out clearly.

I've enjoyed this year. I've learned this year. I've loved this year.

May each of you enjoy more,  learn more, and love & be loved more in 2007 than you were in 2006.... 

Go in Peace! 

K.   

Delightful...

Life is delightful, which means I have nothing to bitch about, which means I'm not writing much. I know, I know, I suck.

My birthday is in a few weeks! I've asked hubby to get me a new iPod, as well - I COULD ask for jewelry, but I'd rather get something REALLY useful. And - and - I'll be finally able to go back to the gym!  I'm trying to sweet talk mom into giving us a matresses (but I hope she doesn't because then I would feel beholden and leechly), but I suspect she'll send me something I would have never expected anyhow.

I'm going to be 30! Me & mom were laughing today about how the older I get, the younger she seems - it's really kinda cool. I don't feel anything vaguely near APPROACHING thirty - is this what it's supposed to feel like?  Maybe it's the fact that I'm joyful rather than mournful - hell, I'm still ALIVE! And I'm rich!  

Anyhow. Since I have nothing to say, I was hoping ya'll would inspire me.

Ask me a question about anything, ask me to take a picture of anything, or ask me a question that needs a picture to answer it..... whatever.

Gimme SOMETHING ya'll!  

*grins*

More experimenting with new styles!! I think this style is ADORABLE - makes me look at least ten years younger - though it doesn't show up in pictures well. Well, I think it makes me look 16, I'll have to ask hubby if he agrees when he gets home.

ETA: *LOL* I had spoken to DH earlier, and told him that I thought it made me look unreasonably young (I'm quite proud of all my years!), and as soon as he walked in the house, he took one look at me and said 'My gods, I've robbed the cradle' *LOL* we agree, it's the part in the front that REALLY does it.
Now - is there ever a reason to look YOUNGER than you are? Discounts for the underaged?

I basically made about 20-30 two strand twists, and then twirled them into bantu knots (which are basically tiny, tiny, beebutts) and slept in it overnight. I had planned on using it as a style to let my hair dry straight, but this morning, as I untwisted them, my hair had dried into these tiny, tiny, tight little curls. I pulled the twists/curls apart a bit to hide the parts, and voila! I'm really interested in seeing how this ages - it might be a way for me to wear my hair 'out' without trying to wear it in in a 'fro or using heat to straighten it...



My hands are orange from the henna I did Thursday night - I forgot to put on gloves, and by the time I remembered, it was a moot point.

It was hard trying to get a GOOD picture of the curls...




I trimmed about an inch off before I henna'd, and I'm wondering if that helped me pull this off as well - I suspect that longer hair would 'pull' them loose - but still! Yet another style - and this is 'fancy' to me.

WHoohooo!!

Okay - it's been a busy weekend, hair wise. I took Friday off, just because I felt like it, whic of course, gave me more time to play with my hair!

The haircut! I cut my hair on Solstice, because - well, not ONLY was it the right moon time, it's the season of renewed growth and energy.... so, yeah.
I took down my 'normal' hairdo, combed it out, then put it into about 12 tight, tight braids.


I then snipped off most of the thin, gnarly ends....


Leaving me with this.....


I figure that I cut off about an inch - maybe a little more, maybe a little less, in some areas. I FINALLY got why some folx said that when they cut off the thinner ends, their whole head of hair felt thicker. I don't know why, but it suddenly felt like I had about twice as much hair on my head as I did BEFORE I cut - and combing it out was a dream! But then, I'm comb happy anyway.


So - Thursday night - after I cut my hair, I mixed up a new bunch of henna. I know, I know - too soon! But - I really wanted to see how the FNWL henna would work - and I give it an unabashed thumbs up.
1) Dye released in about 45 minutes - and all I used was hot water + a little citric acid.
2) VERY goopy/snotty/stickytogethery - I just put a LITTLE conditioner into it, and it went into my hair with ease.
3) STRONG dye - I started putting it in with bare hands (brain fart) and by the time I realized it, my hands were a BRIGHT orange - which, is very pleasing.
4) Rinsed out easily - I left it in for about 14-16 hours, and I was worried that it would dry out, but nope - it rinsed out like a dream.

I ended up with the same great henna conditioning/shine - and I noticed that my hair was DISTINCTLY thicker - something I don't remember noticing before.

I had clarified my hair with baking soda & conditioner before I henna'd, so it was extra curly, but it combed out with no problems with the conditioner - and I didn't even leave it in that long - I did the whole thing in the shower. I finished off with my usual cool water rinse.

Then - I went to go and condition/style it. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with it, so I just parted it, coated it with WP, and put it into about 20-30 two strand twists. Then, jsut becuase I was bored (and I didn't like the Pookie look) I put all the twists into bantuknots, and went to bed.

So - that brings us to Saturday. I needed to go out, so I figured that I would take out the twists, comb it out, and put it into my usual style, but once I started pulling them out, I found that they pulled out into tiny TIGHT little curls - I've seen folx whose hair naturally looks like this. I pulled them all out, and separated them a bit to hide the parts, and voila! New style!!





I'm really interested to see how well this lasts after sleeping on it, etc.

Because I want it that way, that's why!!

ETA: Now, mind you - with all the bruhaha I've made about this color, I've never actaully SEEN it on a car - I think it's a new color for '07 models. Anyhow! I get to work this (12/20) morning, and what do I park next to? A brand new Toyota Camry in - Cosmic Blue. Ya'll. Dude. Seriously. If there was any color that I would claim as my color - this color is it. It's like - Ever seen snow, so compacted, with the light shining through it, that it looks blue? Okay - take that color, and layer it over itself over and over and over again, and keep a little bit of the sparkle of the ice/snow, and make it REALLY shiny - at's that's the color blue. It's so pretty, I grin every time I walked past the car - like DUDE! That's totally my color. Now, the wait isn't quite as bad. Oh, I'mma still bitch about carpooling, but it's worth it.

I don't mean to be difficult - really, I don't. In fact, I usually make a concerted effort to be as easy going, and go with the flow as possible. But, sometimes, I just want things JUST so, and because I'm odd, no-one else wants them the same way, and therefore I end up with something Just For Me.

So. Car wrecked, looking for a new car, winnowed through the selection of cars that didn't have what I wanted/were too small/were too expensive/etc, etc., and finally ended up picking a Toyota Matrix....

Now, the list of things I wanted on the car - simplicity itself (or so I thought)

The Moonroof/Cruise Control/Power Windows package
The Upgraded Sound System (just cuz!)
The Rear Heating package (which was the only way to get the rear wiper blades)
Anti-Lock Brakes
Side Impact Airbags
Manual Transmission (because automatics are *makes the oogeyboogeyickybug face*)

Not too complex right? I mean - really, I'm not asking for much, am I? Apparently, Toyota dealers across the country think that I am, because while a car in THAT color was found - With everything, except it's an automatic. A car with all the packages/transmission was found - but it was black. A car that color, with everything BUT the ABS and side airbags was found - but after the LAST crash, I want side airbags, thank you very freaking much.

So. I'm actually getting a car made JUST FOR ME. Yup, a car. Now, while that rocks, and makes me feel all unique as shit and sunshine, apparently, it takes a healthy bit of time to get a car made. In fact, it apparently takes about a month and a half to make a car (who knew? I figured they slapped em together in a week). *weeps/pulls hair/gnashes teeth*

Now, normally, I'd be real cool with that - except for two things.

1) The rental car that the insurance company is ever so kindly subsidizing loses it's subsidy on 12/26 - about a month before my new car will be ready. Now, normally, me & the boy would just carpool, but that runs us directly into issue #2

2) The Boy has just gotten a new job - and he's the Man at the new job, which means.... well, for example. I haven't set AWAKE eyes on my husband since Saturday night. I think he's working roughly 14 hour days at this point, which is insane, but true to form for him.

I know, that we will just start carpooling (unless I can find a rental for a really, really, really, really, REALLY, reasonable rate) but - give me this time to bitch and moan about having to be UP and alert enough to drive at 5am everybloody morning, and then having to stay up and be alert to drive at midnight (or later) every bloody night. I swear, the man is super human, cuz I wouldn't be able to do it.

But! Dammit! I'm going to have a car that there is very little chance that ANYONE else on the road will have (or will have the patience to wait for, because if I wasn't a stubborn git, I would just go and buy the car off the lot that has everything I want except it's the wrong color), and I suppose that's worth waiting for.

Have I mentioned how utterly bloody impatient I am? Yes? Well. *sigh*

Maybe it'll be done early, and I'll have a rockass birthday gift! Yeah! *sigh*

Hmmm..... this is gonna be a choppy entry...

[*] I did a coconut soak over the weekend - actually slept in it overnight, and let it dry out a bit (I'm such a slacker). It was - *thinks* coconut milk (I mixed it up in the can, and it was FAR too watery - next time, I'm sticking with just the creme, and skipping the water), citric acid (in lieu of limes), honey, CASH oil, and a bit of Humectress (to make it thicker so it would actually stay IN my hair, rather than drip down my forehead and over the back of my neck.
When I Rinsed my hair, it was soft (sooooo soft) but I didn't see any loosening of the curls - I have some really cute lil spirals right behind my ears - but, I'm very cool with that, as I'm slowly starting to accept the fact that I most likely won't EVER be able to wear my hair 'out' until it gains a good bit more length.
It was also VERY easy to comb out - I combed it out 'naked' (no product) just standing in the shower flow.
I then styled it - just a little shea butter in it to lock in some of that moisture, and some Burnt Sugar to tighten up the twists once I was done. I was in a rush, so instead of doing the two strand twists in the back and bunning them, I just did flattwists going straight up and down - it's cute, though I need to get soooo much better with my parts.

[*] One more week til trimming time!! I need to dig up my scissors - they are well hidden somewhere in the bathroom, as DH has no concept of single use tools. I twisted my hair into fat twists as I was buttering them, and ooooohhwee - it (and I!) will definitely appreciate having some of these tired, tired ends gone. I'll have to go back and see how long it's been, but I think it's been at least 3 months - and moon willing, I won't be going THAT long again. I know that I missed one trimming window - I wonder if the Farmers Almanac has trimming days. I'm thinking I'll end up taking off about 3/4 of an inch, on average. There were some sections of my hair that I could 'feel' weren't too bad - and others that were really bad. Even on the not so bad parts, I could still FEEL where the virgin hair ended and the colored hair started. I'm also much less worried about losing the ability to do my 'favorite' style, because I can just vary the size of the twists, and even if I cut ALL the colored hair off now, I can still do them with my virgin hair alone.

[*] Henna! And other conditioners! I'm trying to plot out a reasonable hennaing schedule. My hair DOES pick up some of the henna color - it's subtle, but after the last hennaing experience I could definitely see a - purplish - glow, almost in my hair. And the strength! It's still not as strong as it was at the end of my last henna'ing streak - but then, my hair didn't start breaking off, either! So - I'm trying to figure out a good schedule. I'm thinking about a once a month kinda thing.... every 4-5 weeks or so. In between, I think I'll do at least one coconut (or other milk soak - after seeing the new thread on veggie milk soaks), and potentially a trim, and *thinks* there was something else I was thinking about squeezing in on a weekend, but I can't remember what it was.

[*] Supplements.... so, I've been pJ'ing it up. I've brought Lenzi's Request (some scalp stimulating creme people have been raving about on LHCF) Hair Souffle (a moisturizing creame) and I'm still on the lookout for some cheap sulfur so I can make my own MTG. I'm doing all this so that I can start to move away from the internal supplements - gearing up for TTC and all that - and I figure that I should be taking my babymaking supplements (which I still haven't purchased - I need to take advantage of PP's 60% off sale) for at least three months beforehand - so I need to start taking them at the turn of the year as well. I'm also getting low on HH - but I wanna try out the hair souflle to see how that works, before hand. I figure I don't have to be CRAZY money spendy.


[*] I want to come up with some sort of spray that I can use to moisturize my hair while it's in braids. I know there are several commercial ones, but I know my hair ain't all that fond of glycerin, which is what most of the commercial ones have. I'm thinking about a nice lil mix of honey, conditioner, a lil oil, and some distilled water - mmm, that sounds like a recipe I've seen around here somewhere. It would be nice to be able to moisturize my hair in the middle of the week without taking it down, and just leave the DC for the weekends. But then, I KNOW how my hair is, and even with a daily spray in moisturizer, I'm not sure how happy it will be with me. Hrmmhrmmrmm, decisions, decisions....



Hrrmmm. I think that might be it. Not as choppy, but more booklike than I planned. *sigh* It's almost 11:30 - I suppose I should be heading to bed soon. Blech.

So, because I think I'm super woman....

This is all the stuff I would LIKE to get done before the turn of the year....it will be added to as I think of more stuff.

• Lasanga compost the future garden area - I've got cardboard, and I've got newspaper, and I've got carpet to keep it all in place - I just need to hie my ass out there and get 'er done!
• Prime & Paint the bathroom - it's the only room left in the house that we have paint for, and is READY to be dealt with. We have paint for the kitchen, but.....
• Tear down the wallpaper in the kitchen - it needs to be taken down, so we can paint. I'm thinking that we need to paint BEFORE we tear out the counters, so that we can see just how our selected countertop will work in there.
• Measure the bloody counters in the kitchen to figure out how much it's gonna cost us to get it done. I am pretty certain I don't want to know the answer, but dammit, I want to use my dishwasher! (I should be able to fit this one in easily).
• Sew the pillow for my shrine area
• Fix the damn soffit in front of the side door that has been driving me batshit since it broke.

Hmmm... that's all I can remember this very instant - I'm sure I'll come back and update more. For a while there, I was considering reinsulating the attic, but Merrph. It scares me, and considering C's working hours, he won't be around to help, so, nevermind. 

• Make myself a skirt or two.
• Put away all of our clothes in the lovely bedroom furniture  
• Wash EVERYTHING.
• File the huge basket of papers/important info  

Babymaking Notes....

To make a girlbaby....

1) An acidic environment is preferential to female sperm penetration of the ovum.
2) An acidic douche she is decreasing the possibility of failure, as the douche will immobilise most of the male producing sperm.
3) An acidic environment favors girl sperm and kills male sperm. Creamy CM favors girl sperm. pH should be
below 7.00 (neutral). pH higher than that is alkaline. When trying for a girl, a pH level around 5 or 4 is
best. Anything below that will probably kill the sperm.

4) Foods: ALKALIZING
VEGETABLES
Alfalfa
Barley Grass
Beets
Beet Greens
Broccoli
Cabbage
Carrot
Cauliflower
Celery
Chard Greens
Chlorella
Collard Greens
Cucumber
Dandelions
Dulce
Edible Flowers
Eggplant
Fermented Veggies
Garlic
Green Beans
Green Peas
Kale
Kohlrabi
Lettuce
Mushrooms
Mustard Greens
Nightshade Veggies
Onions
Parsnips (high glycemic)
Peas
Peppers
Pumpkin
Radishes
Rutabaga
Sea Veggies
Spinach, green
Spirulina
Sprouts
Sweet Potatoes
Tomatoes
Watercress
Wheat Grass
Wild Greens

ALKALIZING
ORIENTAL VEGETABLES
Maitake
Daikon
Dandelion Root
Shitake
Kombu
Reishi
Nori
Umeboshi
Wakame

ALKALIZING
FRUITS
Apple
Apricot
Avocado
Banana (high glycemic)
Berries
Blackberries
Cantaloupe
Cherries, sour
Coconut, fresh
Currants
Dates, dried
Figs, dried
Grapes
Grapefruit
Honeydew Melon
Lemon
Lime
Muskmelons
Nectarine
Orange
Peach
Pear
Pineapple
Raisins
Raspberries
Rhubarb
Strawberries
Tangerine
Tomato
Tropical Fruits
Umeboshi Plums
Watermelon

ALKALIZING
PROTEIN
Almonds
Chestnuts
Millet
Tempeh (fermented)
Tofu (fermented)
Whey Protein Powder

ALKALIZING
SWEETENERS
Stevia

ALKALIZING
SPICES & SEASONINGS
Cinnamon
Curry
Ginger
Mustard
Chili Pepper
Sea Salt
Miso
Tamari
All Herbs

ALKALIZING
OTHER
Apple Cider Vinegar
Bee Pollen
Lecithin Granules
Molasses, blackstrap
Probiotic Cultures
Soured Dairy Products
Green Juices
Veggie Juices
Fresh Fruit Juice
Mineral Water
Alkaline Antioxidant Water

ALKALIZING MINERALS
Cesium: pH 14
Potassium: pH 14
Sodium: pH 14
Calcium: pH 12
Magnesium: pH 9

Although it might seem that citrus fruits would have an acidifying effect on the body, the citric acid they contain actually has an alkalinizing effect in the system.

Checking the pH of you cm is vital to understand how girl friendly your cm is. You can purchase litmus paper/pH strips. The best way to test your pH is after checking your cervix position, do a sweep with your
finger and then pull out and rub the cm on the pH paper. It will change color immediately indicating
your current pH. For ttc a girl, you want a pH between 4 and 5. Anything over 5 is boy favorable and anything
lower than 4 is to hostile to all sperm.

Cranberry: This is used to make your pH more acidic
and to dry up your cm and make it more creamy. The
amount depends on your specific body and how it
tolerates the cranberry. Some women take a small dose
around 1800mg, where others take up to 10,000mg. Begin
with a low dose and increase as necessary to achieve
desired results. Taken daily from AF till OV has been
confirmed.

Calcium/Magnesium: These supplements are the backbone
to making your environment girl friendly. Theory has
it that the calcium/magnesium help to attract the girl
(x) sperms to the egg. Dosage should be around Cal/Mag
1000/400mg. Taken daily from AF until OV has been
confirmed.

Vitamin D: This is important to help with calcium
absorption. Take one pill daily from AF until OV has
been confirmed.

Folic Acid: This is essential to anyone ttc, as it
helps prevent birth defects. Dosage is 400mcg-800mcg
daily.

Sudafed: This is used to dry up ewcm. Doesn't matter
what type and follow directions on the box. You can
use this leading up to OV or just before BD or only
when you notice ewcm. If taking before BD to dry up
ewcm, make sure and take it atleast an hour before

Vitex: This is a supplement that has had great reviews
for those that have gotten pg with a girl! Its also
great for those with irregular cycles. However, it
takes 3 months to get into your system and for some
women it can cause their OV to vary, be earlier or
come later. Follow suggested dosage and take from AF
until OV.

Recommended WHILE TRYING FOR A GIRL
AS much milk as possible (1 1/3pts or 770ml a day)
Fresh cream, yoghurt
Limited meat or fish (1 1/4 oz - 125g a day)
Unsalted butter, unsalted soft cheese (I think Philadelphia OK but check)
Milk puddings
Salt free wholemeal bread, crisp-bread & pastry, without yeast
Rice, pasta, semolina, tapioca
Limited amount of potatoes (doesnt say how much)
Fresh or frozen carrots, green beans, turnips, aubergines, onions, leeks, peas, cucumber, radishes, peppers, cress, celeriac, celery.
Unsalted walnuts, hazelnuts, almonds, peanuts
Fresh or frozen or tinned apples, pears, clementines, strawberries, raspberries
Tinned only pineapples, plums & peaches all WITHOUT syrup
Jam once daily, sugar, honey
Vegetable oils, spices, home-made sauces without salt
Mineral Water

FORBIDDEN WHILE TRYING FOR A GIRL
Salt & salt substitute, all salted or smoked foods, including salty cheese
Coffee, tea, tinned fruit juice, fizzy drinks wine, beer, cider, liqueurs, aperitifs
All meat & fish except for daily allowance above
white bread, pastries & biscuits, unless salt free; crisps
sweetcorn, popcorn, parsley, spinach, cabbage, cauliflower, mushrooms, courgettes, endive, avocados, fennel, raw tomatoes, soya beans, dried peas and beans.
All fresh fruit except for those listed above as allowed, dried fruit
Chocolate & sweets
Bicarbonate of soda & all prepared sauces
All ready made dishes whether tinned, fresh or frozen.

OD Year in Review

Rules: Take the first sentence (or 2, or 3 or 4 whatever lol) from the first post of each month of 2006. That's your year in review.

January:
So. Tommorow, around 9:10pm, I'll officially be 29.

It's - interesting, me getting older - esp with all else that has been happening to me and around me. Looking back over the years, I'm certainly NOT where I thought I would be at 29, but - I'm - happy with where I am. I have a husband whom I love (and loves me), I've got a job that pays the bills and a plan for the future. I've got friends, and joy, and love. I don't have kids - or a house - yet, but - I see that in our close future. And really - I'm - HAPPY, dare I say it?

February:
It's only WEDNESDAY?? Sheesh, this week is really dragging.

So, work - right? I write so much more at work than I EVER do when I'm at home, largely because well - at home I actually have ISH to do.

So - I think that yesterday I wrote about my explorations in the world of Thrift for wineglasses, and my utter failures thereof.

March:
Hmmm.....I'm thinking that maybe I should change my diary name - I'm still Witty, Wicked  & Wise - but I'm more other things than I am that. And lately, I've been feeling kind of - sharp. Pointy, even.

April:
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten
-- Natasha Bedingfield - Unwritten

That song has been - my song - since it first came out. I love it, love it, love it. It reminds me to be open, to be hopeful, to keep moving forward and pressing on.

May:
Hmmm... let's see, what's shaking in me life?

The movers are coming Thursday, as is the cable guy (gotta get the internet, ya know!), and hoepfully (if the bastids from Sears ever CALL me) so will the fridge, but I'm thinking we might have to go a couple of days fridge free. Luckily, we have two HUGE ice coolers, and a pratically bare fridge, so that should work out well. I'm going to do a DITL on Thursday, even though the 'official' DITL day was yesterday. Pffht. *laughs*

June:
So, it's the end of the week (Yaaay!!) and we just got paid (YAYYY!!) and I'm merrily plotting on what to do with the 'loose' money (within reason, of course!)

So. Let's start with making more money. I've got a 401(k) that I can use to 'play' with stocks.

July:
There really should be more four day weekends - they are lovely - just long enough to TRULY enjoy the weekend, but not quite long enough that I am dreading (anymore than usual) coming to work. So....

Didn't do NEARLY as much as I planned, but did do the important stuff.  The bathroom is spotless! The kitchen - mostly spotless. It was spotless before I leapt upon it and wrecked it with a 4 hour cooking marathon.

August:
Your Life Analysis:

Life: Your life rating is a score of the sum total of your life, and accounts for how satisfied, successful, balanced, capable, valuable, and happy you are. The quiz attempts to put a number on the summation of all of these things, based on your answers.

September:
This is the fourth time today that I've clicked on 'write' when I meant to click on 'notes'. I guess that is the universe's snarky ass way of telling me that if I want notes, I need to bloody write something, eh?

Be warned - this entry has more parenthetical comments than - than - heavens, I don't know what, therefore it might be an adventure to read. 

Let's see.

October:
Why, yes, I AM still alive. Bullets, cuz I'm random like that.

• I have instruction manuals for both the knitting machine and the sewing machine, as well as bobbins and needles and yarn and thread and the like. Now, I just have to muss things up, and turn my dining room table into a craft center.

November:
Haven't even started writing today - naughty, naughty girl. I've been pounding away on a document I need to get done for SWHC that I need to finish at work so that I can print out many many free copies, so - yeeeahhh. 

I may be the oddest person ever - really - I get moody for the silliest of reasons - just resentful that things aren't going MY way. *stomps foot*

Why yes, I AM a brat.

December:
But I'm not sleepy in the least - I'm just tired. The kind of tired that makes you snippy. The kind of tired that makes doing anything more than laying draped on a couch under a blankie seem not only unfair, but also rather mean. The sort of tiredness that makes you want to throw tantrums and stomp your feet and pout because dammit - if  you could just GO TO SLEEP everything would seem to be sooo much better. But you can't. Cuz you aren't SLEEPY.

Just tired.

Traveling without Moving....

I'm - content.

Today, I told a friend that over the last few weeks, I've come to accept two things...

1) Looking at it from a global level, we're quite wealthy.

2) People do dumb shit.

I've been enourmously peaceful through/because of those two revalations. While sometimes 'The Hate' (as I like to call it) overwhelms me, and I hate everything breathing within a 20 ft radius (20 yds if I'm driving), most of them time I'm disgustingly zenlike & happy. 

I feel like I'm finally - doing things  - to get me where I want to be. I'm not just standing still, marking time - I'm traveling. And - I'm traveling, without moving, because most of my travel is - mental?  viewpoint? I'm changing, gradually, into the woman that I've always wanted to be, and it feels odd, and lazy, and - far too easy. 

I feel superstious, like everytime I even think of how wonderful things are, I should complain and bewail it, so that mischevious fairies don't come along and screw the whole thing up - and even as I think that, I laugh at how foolish it is - and yet how right it feels. 

It's scary being this - satisfied. It's not like I WANT drama in my life - it's just that - I've never lived a life as - suitable - to me as this one is. I'm worried that - I'm scared that I might start to take it for granted, and that I might lose sight of how precious and wonderful and lovely my life is.   

*grins* So. New and new and new.

I'm happy.

Ages upon ages

Wow - it's been so long since i've written in here, they've changed stuff up on me.

It's not that I don't have things to say - it just that usually, everytime I come, and look at this blank sheet, it feels - overwhelming - to even start. So, I'll kick things off with a little whimsy, and then do the serious stuff under the cut.....

On the twelfth day of Christmas, maatwomyn sent to me...

Twelve ibejimoms homesteading

Eleven maatwomyns unjobbing

Ten urban_homesteads a-cooking

Nine luellons composting

Eight gnolyns a-homemaking

Seven icbhods a-reading

Six doulas a-farming

Five co-o-o-ommunes

Four midwives

Three intentional communities

Two women issues

...and a kemet in an alternative energy.

Get your own Twelve Days:

So - since the last time I wrote, where I mentioned being nudged (and rather firmly, too) towards at least getting off me ass and DOING something - I've
1) Set up a wee altar - It's in my nook, and at some point, I need to take a picture of it - I love it, and I visit it everymorning to make offerings to the Akhu and the Netjer (currently represented by my handmade Ma'at - but she will be joined by others - I plan on making the most of this holiday season), and I go through the declarations, and I (slowly, slowly) teach myself tarot by pulling a card on a daily basis - I figure that sort of slow repitition will get me used to MY deck - and it will be a good spring point towards other decks.

It's been interesting, pulling and reading cards. For a WHILE (and dangit, I need tostart keeping track of the cards I pull & when) they were telling me to relax, stop trying to rush things, that guides/teacher would come as I was ready for them, and that me hunting for them was simply NOT GOING TO WORK. Well, FINE. And I stopped, and started moving slower, and ya know? It's working. I've been pulling a lot of Earth cards too, and many journey cards. I think I've only pullled TWO air cards and ONE water card - everything else is either Major Arcana, Earth or Fire. Umph.


2) Started First Realm classes with Summerland Grove - which is basically a root level introduction to Paganism. No, I don't NEED to be in these classes, but dammit, all the cool kids are in school, and I (shhhh!) miss learning in a structured environment, and I miss interacting with people who have some bloody sense, and despite thinking that I have a pretty good grasp on the basics of Paganism, I think that this will be useful. Besides all that, I know that I want to go at LEAST to 3rd realm classes, and ya can't take second without starting with first. So far, I'm really enjoying it - and taking the classes is giving me a slow entry into SG.

I've been - interested - in becoming more involved with SG for a while - esp. after meeting Trudy, and after hearing

madrun gush about Anne, and jsut - the general VIBE of the SG people has been very - no nonsense dealt with/endured, semi-organized (as organized as you can get when herding cats) and just generally friendly and SMART. I don't do well with dumb folx. So - taking the First Realm classes also helps me get over my shyness - despite 'knowing' several of the people there - I'm still outside of their group - not part of their clique, and 1st Realm is a cheap way for me to get over my(self) shyness, and - interact, dammit!

Hrrmmm - let's see, what else is going on in my spiritual life? See - it's rather mundane really - it's a slow, slow, sllloooowww journey, and it's not til I've moved a good little ways along that I can turn, and look back, and say - wow! I've actually MOVED some. SO. Yes.

I'm seriously plotting on extending the scope of my LJ - I think that I'll add the mildy obsessive gardening & peak oil stuff here too, and I MIGHT toss in a bit about the upcoming babymaking. MAYBE. At least that way, I'll have someplace to write this stuff, as I can't get nearly as obsessive as I would like to be in my OD - I think it's just TOO public. And despite knowing folx are reading here too - this is MUCH more intimate, and much more - earthy, basically.

I really just need to stop doubting myself, and TRY things, before I assume that they will be too hard/too much work/my hair isn't long/thick enough, or that I just don't have the talent needed.

Yes, I've created a new hairstyle! I put pictures of it up in the photo journal, but...I wanted to ramble on about it a bit more.

I've been realizing over the last few days that I REALLY needed to figure out a new hairstyle - not because I didn't like the one I had, but because I was starting to get worried about repeatedly parting my hair in the EXACT same spot straight down the middle of my head. I would put a satin cover over the headrest of my car, but I could still feel little hairs rubbing against the satin. Now, I'm split pretty evenly on whether those wee hairs are new growth (I've seen several tapers!) or broken off hair (and I'm still losing red hair and a rapid rate) but - still! Thinning hair or not - if it hadn't happened YET, it was sure TO happen.

So, I rummaged around the web, and starting thinking about yarn braids again (I already have the yarn and EVERYTHING), and then figured- heck! I'm redoing my hair tonight ANYWAY - might as well try something different, natch? First, I had to figure out HOW I wanted to do my hair - I'm not all that imaginative when it comes to hair, and I'm really 'trapped' in thinking that my hair needs to be longer to do ANYTHING with it (which I am pulling myself out of), and finally I just settled on doing what I've been doing - flat twists, but doing them ACROSS my head, instead of from front to back.

I ended up with four flat twists, joined on the left side, with a 'twist minibun' (two strand twists, twisted together and secured with a bobby pin into a tiny, tiny, button bun) - and - well, it's LOVELY. Also - I'm thinking that this might last longer, since each flat twist is smaller, so even though it takes about twice as long to do, I shouldn't NEED to redo it quite so often. So, this might be my new hairdo for the rest of the most of the winter. And I doubt that I will runover the EXACT same line when I redo them - they'll be a little bigger or a little smaller each time....

I'm amazed AGAIN by how thick my roots are, and how THIN the bleached hair is - I mean even when I look at a strand of hair - I can SEE the difference in size. And if I stress test a shed strand, 80% of the time, it will break RIGHT at, or a little below the demarcation line between dyed and undyed. I realllllllllllllyyy can't wait til all of this damaged hair is gone - and I don't think it's going to be all that long - I figure by the summer, I'll be all virgin haired. Doing the twists for the back showed me JUST how much hair needs to be trimmed - man, going for this long without trimming has REALLY shown up in my hair - the ends were downright STRAGGLY - not even all curly and smooth like in the twists picture that I took. Now, part of it might be because my hair was dry when I twisted it, and I twisted it without gel, so there was no moisture to encourage my hair to 'curl' up around itself - but YIPES. I would - based on those - cut off about 1/2 to 3/4 of the red I have left.

One more week, and I get to TRIM!!! Whoohooo!

So - henna'd and conditioned my hair over the weekend - then left it out in a wild free fro, and oh, the tangles! The knots! My hair is just plain NOT happy about being left to it's own devices.

Anyhow, I was looking at my hair, and I was moaing over how SHORT it is. Yes, yes, I know it's short - but sometimes I'm - shocked - by how short it is. This awareness in no way shape or form makes me want to NOT trim - as I've set it up in my mind that - well, that I haven't really started GROWING my hair just yet - I'm just getting it to be at a healthy baseline. And in my mind, that healthy baseline is when my hair is all virgin - no bleached, fragile, worn out ends - all fresh hair. And from THAT point - that is when I'm going to seriously start GROWING my hair. *pats head fretfully* I have to keep remnding myself that it's only been - what - 8 months, and I have at least 4 inches of fresh growth - which includes the wintertime (during which my hair does jackall) which means I'm growing a good 1/2(or so) a month - which is rather good. So. *deep breath* Patience, patience, patience, I must always remember and be patient.

So - my hair is neatly bound up now, and I've started doing something new with the ends - twisting, then braiding them into a single braid, and tucking it into the middle. Not only does it hold the whole style more securely, it also 'conceals' the usually fuzzy part in the back, making the whole thing ever so much neater.

In general - the roots are distinctively thicker than my ends. I'm not sure if it's just the curliness of my hair, or if it's the broken offness of my ends, but - I do remember dealing with this before - my roots being so much thicker than my ends, but then again - I haven't had VIRGIN hair on the ends of my hair since - god. Since.................97? 95? I honestly can't remember - I've been dying my hair for SOOOO long. So, this should be interesting. It's also funny seeing how the texture of my hair changes - when I clarify, or when I deep condition, or when I get it wet and let it airdry - each one gives me a different type of curl, a different color of hair - I feel like a hair chameleon at times. Of course, it's always short though - unless it's dripping wet with conditioner, it's barely long enough to be called an actual afro, and pulling individual strands is almost a magic trick along the lines of the never ending hankercheifs.
But occasionally, the rampant difficulty of my hair will give me hope - like when I discovered a shed strand of hair had tied itself to one of the strands that was still atacched to my head, thus giving me a strand that was twice as long, as was CLEARLY APL - which thrilled and delighted me to no end, as that means I'm halfway to APL, which in my mind is another year and a half - which isn't that long at all.

I've also started to think about how I'm going to have to/want to/need to change my supplement list, assuming that I want to get knocked up in the next six months or so. I know that I'm going to have to stop taking the MSM - it can act as a blood thinner, and we want the blood to be nice & thick. The biotin I will stick with, and I'm going to switch to a topical sulfur mix - homemade MTG. The Omega 3/6/9 I'll also most likely stick with - though, I might add some EPO to it as well, if needed, to help regulate my cycles. I've gotta get a basal thermometer, so that I can start taking my temps. I'm actually getting excited thinking about this - the process and so forth. I refuse to even consider how we will handle it if it takes a while - though, after reading more about fertility, really, it seems like a miracle of timing that ANYONE gets pregnant at ALL - especially by accident. OF course, getting knocked up is a grand way to get the hair growing - though, it doesn't stick around, but STILL.

Hrrm. I think that's about it, for now.

So - henna'd and conditioned my hair over the weekend - then left it out in a wild free fro, and oh, the tangles! The knots! My hair is just plain NOT happy about being left to it's own devices.

Anyhow, I was looking at my hair, and I was moaing over how SHORT it is. Yes, yes, I know it's short - but sometimes I'm - shocked - by how short it is. This awareness in no way shape or form makes me want to NOT trim - as I've set it up in my mind that - well, that I haven't really started GROWING my hair just yet - I'm just getting it to be at a healthy baseline. And in my mind, that healthy baseline is when my hair is all virgin - no bleached, fragile, worn out ends - all fresh hair. And from THAT point - that is when I'm going to seriously start GROWING my hair. *pats head fretfully* I have to keep remnding myself that it's only been - what - 8 months, and I have at least 4 inches of fresh growth - which includes the wintertime (during which my hair does jackall) which means I'm growing a good 1/2(or so) a month - which is rather good. So. *deep breath* Patience, patience, patience, I must always remember and be patient.

So - my hair is neatly bound up now, and I've started doing something new with the ends - twisting, then braiding them into a single braid, and tucking it into the middle. Not only does it hold the whole style more securely, it also 'conceals' the usually fuzzy part in the back, making the whole thing ever so much neater.

In general - the roots are distinctively thicker than my ends. I'm not sure if it's just the curliness of my hair, or if it's the broken offness of my ends, but - I do remember dealing with this before - my roots being so much thicker than my ends, but then again - I haven't had VIRGIN hair on the ends of my hair since - god. Since.................97? 95? I honestly can't remember - I've been dying my hair for SOOOO long. So, this should be interesting. It's also funny seeing how the texture of my hair changes - when I clarify, or when I deep condition, or when I get it wet and let it airdry - each one gives me a different type of curl, a different color of hair - I feel like a hair chameleon at times. Of course, it's always short though - unless it's dripping wet with conditioner, it's barely long enough to be called an actual afro, and pulling individual strands is almost a magic trick along the lines of the never ending hankercheifs.
But occasionally, the rampant difficulty of my hair will give me hope - like when I discovered a shed strand of hair had tied itself to one of the strands that was still atacched to my head, thus giving me a strand that was twice as long, as was CLEARLY APL - which thrilled and delighted me to no end, as that means I'm halfway to APL, which in my mind is another year and a half - which isn't that long at all.

I've also started to think about how I'm going to have to/want to/need to change my supplement list, assuming that I want to get knocked up in the next six months or so. I know that I'm going to have to stop taking the MSM - it can act as a blood thinner, and we want the blood to be nice & thick. The biotin I will stick with, and I'm going to switch to a topical sulfur mix - homemade MTG. The Omega 3/6/9 I'll also most likely stick with - though, I might add some EPO to it as well, if needed, to help regulate my cycles. I've gotta get a basal thermometer, so that I can start taking my temps. I'm actually getting excited thinking about this - the process and so forth. I refuse to even consider how we will handle it if it takes a while - though, after reading more about fertility, really, it seems like a miracle of timing that ANYONE gets pregnant at ALL - especially by accident. OF course, getting knocked up is a grand way to get the hair growing - though, it doesn't stick around, but STILL.

Hrrm. I think that's about it, for now.

aMrregh.

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!

So. I've firmly told my husband that I will NOT (not, not, N.O.T.) thank him for wrecking my car - but this is what we will get out of it.

1) A new car - suitably slightly larger for the planned family expansion, as well as KICK ASS mileage, as well as big enough to cart shit home from Home Depot and the Thrift store and the like without having to pay for delivery. Urm - a Toyota Matrix, as I haven't mentioned that yet. All I'm waiting for is MY car. I figure it this way - Dammit, if I'm going to buy a NEW car, I'm going to get every.single.thing I want on it. A 5 speed with ABS and a moonroof and side impact airbags and the rear seat heat? In the pretty, pale, almost silver Cosmic Blue?  Oh, yes, thank you! What? You'll have to tell the factory to make it? Oh, that's fine - it's only fair for me losing a couple of grand in worth AS SOON AS I DRIVE IT OFF THE LOT. *pants briefly* Yes, I hate buying new cars. *wanders off muttering about depreciation and replacement costs* 

2) We get to pay off: Sallie Mae (the last of C's student loans), PLUS (the last of my student loans) CitiBank (the remmants of the WEDDING credit card) and Chase (the remmants of the REST of the wedding that was shifted to a 0% rate card). Which! Which! Besides, ya know, the new house, and the new car, and the store cards (Sears, Home Depot, Department Stores) means we are OUT. OF. DEBT. And dude - those cards are small enough that - I'm not even SWEATING them! And - the car, it'll only be a wee bit more than the old car....so - still! 

*side note* C just asked me what I was doing, and I told him I was writing a journal entry.... he told me to include (and I quote) "Make sure you say that your husband told you that he falls in love with you again every time you smile at him....."  *fans self* *sqqqquuuuue* don't I just have the most SUGARY sweet man ever? (And he's hot).  *end side note* 

So  *silly grin still firmly in place* while, I DID love that car, and while I HATE the fact that he wrecked it - we really did know that if we planned on roadtripping/camping with a wee one (ie. carseat) we would need a bigger car. And seriously, I'm cheap (and stubborn) enough, that if he hadn't wrecked the car, I would have DRRRRAaaaaaggggeeed my feet on getting a new one, and lived with all sorts of irrtation and discomfort.  

And see, I'm telling YA'LL this, as I would never tell him this, cuz then he might start to feel SLIGHTLY less bad about wrecking my car. And sweet, hot, loving man aside - Dammit! I mean, DAMN! What is it with HIM and my CARS!!!  Last time, I said he wasn't driving my car anymore - but I mean really? 14 hour roadtrip? Husband? Yeah, right. *sighs* And it's not like it's just MY car - he's (we've) gone through 3 cars in the six years we've known each other - all totaled by him!! ARRGGHHHH! And I've driven for FEWER years than him.....I mean, WTF?  *deep breath*

Annnndddd.....we are also getting (after! after! those bills are paid off) a NEW BED SET. It's actually going to be here on Wednesday. I'm talking a BED. and....and... a DRESSER. and.... and... an CHEST....annddd *holds back the tears* Nightstands! With - little shelves on them! TWO! So we don't have to share! 

Seriously ya'll, this is like the NICEST bedset I've ever owned. I've tried to find pictures online, but haven't found anything close - cuz - it's LOVELY. And seriously? I haven't owned a PROPER set of drawers since - since I left my mothers house, I think. I faked it for a while with a set of cardboard drawers, and for even longer with milk crates, used as drawers, and lately, with underbed storage containers heaped in closets, used as drawers..in other words ya'll, we have been faking the funk, and I keep my carpets very clean, because otherwise my clothes would get dirty. And sometimes, in the middle of the afternoon, when I think about what I THINK that I 'should' have - I'm rather shamed of how little I DO have. Then, I look at what I DO have, and realize, with some pride, that I tried to buy as little of it with debt as possible, and I'm proud and comfortable, and - maybe not quite content, but definitely pleased and satisfied with what I DO have. It is enough, for among the world, I am still very wealthy.... 

We still have to buy a mattress (because I refused to let the sales guy talk me into buying a mattress then and there - it was out of character ENOUGH for us to buy FURNITURE without doing reasearch (but we loved this set!!), so there was no way in HECK I was going to buy a mattress without at least doing SOME reading up on it!) but, I figure that we will go to Sears, and take a look (and a lay) at the mattresses there. I'm also going to get a dual heated matress pad, so that we can turn down the heat at night and still be comfy, and - *sighs* and, some Brand. new. sheets. I haven't brought a new set of sheets in - YEARS. Since college, most likely, as we are still sleeping on the same size futon - and as for the sheets that I got for the waterbed - one set came WITH the waterbed, the other two sets I got off of Freecycle.  I'm even seriously considering getting REALLY wild and crazy, and buying NEW pillows. *fans self* It'll be like a hotel bed - but AT HOME. And - we already have a huge king size comforter that we got years ago from Pottery Barn Outlet that I just need to make a duvet cover(cuz I refuse to spend 80 bucks on a damn duvet cover) for - which, the sewing machine, and the mondo cheap kingsize sheets I'm going to dig up will make most convienent.

This is a long entry for me, but - I get giddy about money things turning out well. I feel like this - even though it came from something horrid and something that could have changed (or ended) my life - is actually going to further plans that were already in place! I feel - rewarded, I guess - for being so. damn. cheap. And so anal about paying bills off early. This, you see, is my staunchly Puritanical side coming out (money is about the only thing I'm conservative about).

And babymaking? I haven't mentioned babymaking yet, have I? Technically, we are still in an holding pattern - we do not, I repeat, do NOT, have a go on babymaking.  But - make sure the runway is clear all the same.

Um, yes. In slightly clearer words, due to the above mentioned Puritanical streak, it has been decided (agreed) that babymaking should not commence in earnest before March (just in case the best thing EVER happens, and I get knocked up on the first try). But - all the same - in order to try to get conception as CLOSE to that time as possible (only 5 cycles tween now and then) I went and brought a Basal Thermometer today. I realized, despite planning on making my carrer in BIRTH, I really didn't know all that much about the process of the OTHER side of that coin, conception, and am halfway through the 20 lesson online course offered by FertilityFriend.com  - and that convinced me that the best thing I could do right now to prep for right then is to start charting my temps.  I'm honestly in a total state of denial, and chose to believe that we will get pregnant in the first six months or so. If it doesn't happen, then I will handle that then - because I'm NOT going to drive myself crazy by worrying about it NOW. I'm doing all that I can to prepare for that (having these charts, and historical records of my cycles will help - IF I need to go to a fertility specialist) but at the same time, it's helping to insure that hopefully - we WON'T have to go that route.

Speaking of future fertility boosters, my ass is starting to widen again, because I haven't been to the gym in TWO WEEKS. Really, two and a half, because I didn't go so much the week BEFORE Thanksgiving either. Last week, I was sick, and just plain refused to go to the gym and potentially imfect everyone there. I fianlly stopped coughing the bloody crud on Friday, and when I woke up today, I leaned over to push myself up out of the futon, and nearly screamed as I put weight on my right wrist. Something is wrong with my wrist - I have no clue what (I'm hoping I just slept on it wrong)  - but it hurts like HELL - sometimes. Only when I twist it just right, or tilt it justtt so. And when I went to see Dexter tonight - I could see in the way that he looked at me that I had "LAWSUIT" flashing in bright red letters over my head.  After babbling at me about 'hairline fracture" and "carpal tunnel" and "bolts in your wrist" he strongly DISCOURAGED me from even working out, then, after me pouting at him for a while, he gave me a short list of things that I could do that shouldn't impact my wrist.    

It wasn't til I sat there watching Jane (the delightful 80 year old redhead who shares these classes with me) workout that I realized - oh. my. god. I MISSED this. I WANTED to do this. Dammit, I was NOT going home without lifting some weight. I did three exercises out of the six he suggested - I couldn't get a good, non-ouchy grip with the other three. I got a sprint, and have iced my wrist, and I figure if it's still sore on the morrow - I'll set up an appointment to have things checked out.  I don't think I've gained any weight (I've stayed OFF the scale) but my lack of crunches is starting to show itself. If nothing else, I will do those tomorrow. 

*pause* 

My WORD, but I'm chatty tonight, aren't I? Typing, thankfully, does NOT make my wrist twinge. 

It's been a while since I've written, I suppose. I have a whole REAM of words floating around in my head that needs to be spilled in my LJ..... and I think that I will wind up now, and go there before the flood ends..... 

Good night, and if you ACTUALLY read this entire diatribe, Gods Bless....    

I've been looking forward to trimming my hair - it REALLY needs it, for one thing, and - well, I'm just excited about it, because it means that I'm getting closer to having a head full of natural, mostly virgin, healthy, hair. My biggest question now is - how much should I cut? I've been eying the sections over my ears, and muttering under my breath about doing a HUGE chop and cutting off 80% of the dyed ends that are left - but I'm thinking that most likely just a WEE bit unrealistic (ie crazy). I'm still thinking about the ten twists bit, and how that will influence the amount that I cut. I would like to stick to just cutting the thinnest/weakest/messedupest bits off, and leaving the sturdy/healthy/thick bits. It's been interesting FEELING my hair though - I feel like I'm growing out a perm almost - the difference between the density/thickness of the virgin hair vs. the colored, as well as the difference in curl/texture - it's rather obvious, and I'm loving the natural hair.
Hrmmm what else? I'm noticing henna type color in my hair - I can tell the difference between my 'roots', the henna'd bits, and the dyed bits of my hair. Of course, it would take ME to notice it, in bright light, squinting at my roots, but I really do think that as I keep doing it (for many, many, years) my hair will gradually start to go red. The finest 'baby hairs' around my hairline are the most obviously colored - they are so thin that the dye makes a definite difference - the rest of my hair just say's NWAH! But - I'm hoping that it'll show up more clearly in the summertime - my hair gets lighter anyhow, so it should be interesting to see.
Hrmmm. I think that I need to figure out.... *laughs* I love this journal. I was going to say that I need to figure out a new way of dealing with my hair when I put it up under the showercap for conditioning, because slicking all my hair UPWARDs, and then having to comb it out DOWNWARDs - well, not the best thing. But - as I was writing that, I went - DUHH!! twist my hair into a couple of fat twists, wrap them around themselves, and roll on! See - just writing stuff out answers my questions sometimes.
Okay - it's taken me like three hours to write this, and I think I'm done now. I love it when problems solve themselves.
Now - off to investigate insulation!

Hmmm - I've been thinking of random things over the last few days that happened that was hair related...

1) My mother and my hair. She has a LOVELY head of two year old locks (that I talked her into getting) and I'm amazed by how long they are already - but then, I don't remember how long her hair was when she first started them. anyhow - I'm sitting on the couch, combing out my hair to condition it with some HH and retwist it, and she says in this 'Poor, poor *****cat' voice 'Poor thing, you've never been blessed with hair'. Now, at first, I wanted to buck up and get all - I just too kmy locks out! It's breaking off cuz of the dye! Do you SEE all this virgin growth??!?? but then I realized - ya know what? I don't WANNA be 'blessed' with hair - because that implies that it was just - given to me. I take great pride in earning what I got, and I know that I am going to (and have been) EARNING every. single. inch. of hair on my head. I might never be 'blessed' with hair - but I know that I'm going to have full, thick, long, lovely hair at some point, and it's gonna be because I worked for it. Dammit.

2) I started doing my 'style' in a slightly different manner - I'm starting out with tiny bits of hair - thus making the whole thing 'tighter' and smaller. Not only is it MUCH neater, it also seems to 'stay' better - I've got fewer stray bits and pieces - though, the fact that I'm now twisting it slightly HIGHER on my head means that the patchs of hair from in front of my ears tends to escape. If I remember in the morning, I give them a bit of extra love and leave them out to make cute little tendrils. If I forget, I jsut make two wee two strand twists, and tuck the twist behind my ear.
I like the thinner ones though - they are MUCH neater looking, and seem to fit my face better - I feel REALLY cute in them.

3) It's getting closer to trimming time!! I was looking at the thread on the Morrocan method, but I'm puzzled by how he achieved his dates - his date for trimming to encourage length is during the WANING portion of the moon, not the Waxing, as is usually said to be best - so I'm wondering where he is pulling these dates from. I think I'm going to stick with 'old schooll' lunar methods where you know the sign the moon should be in for hair growth, and you trim during the earliest part of the waxing moon in that sign. Hmph. I also think that I will henna -hmmm... I plan on trimming the 23rd (new moon is the 20th, and the solistice is the 22nd - so I'm not only getting the waxing of the moon, I'm also getting the waxing of daylight!), and while I would LIKE to henna the weekend before that (the 16th) I know that I'm going to at least ONE Yule Party that weekend - which pushes it back to THIS weekend - which would make it a full NINE weeks - that's OVER two months. And yes, yes, I did use cassia a few weeks ago, but that's neither here nor there - and besides, it didn't do me as well as my henna does me. So! I shall be *happy squeally noises* hennaing this weekend!! Whoohooooo!!! :) :) :) :hollie: But - I want to do the henna so that I have the BEST hair possible to trim with - as I'm going to base the amount of the trim on general thiness, as well as the feeling of the ends - and henna will let me 'cheat' on both.
I think that I'm going to do *thinks* 10 twists - five on each side - and trim mercilessly. If I trim too short to be able to do my usual style, I'll just switch back to the 'front bang' then 'side twist' style I started out with. I'm really lookin forward to having all virgin hair.

4) I've calmed down PJ wise - I'm still all over my vitamins, and I'm kicking around making some MTG to add to my usual hair oil (CHASM oil? *ROLFLOL*) and maybe trying out this 'Lenzi's Request' stuff...... and otherwise, I'm really satisfied with my hair.

My skin, on the other hand, makes me want to scream, and scrape it all off at once. I have what I like to call 'facedruff' - it's like dandruff, but it's not on my SCALP - it's on my face, and OCCASIONALLY it will creep into my hairline - esp. at my wee widows peak. I've been OCM'ing for - years - which helps CONCEAL the horrid patchs of flaky dry, dry, dry skin on my face, but hasn't really gotten RID of them. And if I 'exfoliate' them off (no matter HOW gently) it'll form little scabs, which then give me wee scars, which leaves me skin TORN up. So - I was reading up on this, because I wasn't really sure as to what the hell was going on with my skin - but I think it's dandruff - just - STUBBORN - dandruff. So - I think that I'm going to get some teatree oil and mix it in with my OCM oil. From what I've read, dandruff is actually an 'over reaction' or 'overgrowth' of your skin to a naturally occuring fungi that normally kicks in on our skin. Sooo.... the TToil usually both calms down the skins reaction AND the fungus - and makes things even better. Other than that - I really don't know WHAT to do with my skin. *sigh* And I drink more water than any one person (who isn't a camel) should so.... yeah.

Okay - I think I'm done now.

I blame it on the moon...

Because despite having run around all day yesterday, gone to a late night meeting, and not gone to bed until almost 11pm (and dragging ass the whole time), I opened my eyes this morning with the amazing realization that - I wasn't TIRED. I was actually - almost - well, rather well rested. I felt like I had slept for roughly 326 hours straight, cooconed in a warm bath, and rocked by the wind. Okay, a little flowery, but SERIOUSLY. 

I stood in the shower almost in shock - like WOW. I'm really - awake! I haven't felt this awake since - oh, since forever. I felt fresh and clear and clean and really, why was I going around growling at people and making the monster clawing face and seriously considering crying because I just couldn't take the cap off the bottle of water?

Maybe it was the vitamins (that I hadn't been taking for two weeks). Maybe it was the moon (today is the actual full moon rather than the dragging build UP to the full moon). Maybe I just got the last little bit of sleep I needed to no longer be 'sleep deprived'. Maybe it was the hoagie I had giving me jsut the right shot of stinky veggies and meats to fill my belly and rest me right. 

Whatever it was - THANK YOU.  

Though, it IS almost 4pm, and I COULD use a nap. But - well, who doesn't?      

I realized that the hairstyle I was rocking wasn't all that good for my hair - at least not all the time. I wasn't sure if it was new growth (hopefully!) or the part starting to break off my hair, but I was feeling a LOT of little hairs all along my part. So, I tossed and turned and thought - and came up with this new hairstyle.




The amazing thing - it only took me about 40 minutes to do this - and my hair wasn't even PARTED when I started. *sigh* and it was soooooooooo tangled at the ends - I used a little Oyin Honey Hemp to soften the ends, then combed out the part.....I so need to trim my ends - just another week until I can....

I'm thinking - seriously thinking, mind you - about trimming off all the red, and putting in yarn twists until I gain enough length to start putting it into twists again. But then, I think that I can do this style, even with a wee bit less hair. Hmmm... maybe not the twist bun in the back..... I'll have to think about it.

Boy, it's really been a while.

Hair related - I've been rocking my 'standard' hair style - I've deep conditioned once, and redone my hair about three, maybe four times. I've cowashed once, and that's been about it.

Thanksgiving was nice - wonderful really, until the trip back home (we drove) where we drifted off the side of the road, spun out, hit a tree, and totalled my car. Praise the Gods that we both strolled away (so to speak) - DH had a few bruised ribs, and I had a wee cut on my hand.

It's actually been really nice to be - casual about my hair. I haven't taken a vitamin for two weeks, I haven't been on the boards for OVER two weeks, and the only thing I've purchased was this ultra cool (and cheap) 'gift set' of Nexxus products the day of the accident - dammit, I was stressed, and needed to splurge! I also got a shower comb - seamless - that I LOOOVVVE - it's called a Goody's ouchless, I think, and it will be my travel comb so that I don't have to fret about traveling with my bone comb and potentially breaking it.

I think that I MIGHT - MIGHT - henna my hair this weekend - but then again, I might be out buying a new car this weekend, so really - who knows?

And I'm SOOOO tired. Despite being on 'vacation' the stress of the accident wiped all that out, and I'm sick, and I was out of town again last weekend (though it was WONDERFUL fun in the woods with mah girls - we don't believe in sleeping when we are together), and it's suddenly decided that it's high time that it gets right and cold - IF I go car shopping this weekend, that will most likely be ALL that I do. When I came home from my trip this weekend, DH was in the kitchen, cleaning, and I wanted to fall down and weep with joy because I was DREADING walking into a house that showed that I haven't had a chance to be home and do things proper for almost three weeks!

Okay. I think I'm done, for now - now I must go and catch up!!

Tired. Tired. Tired.

But I'm not sleepy in the least - I'm just tired. The kind of tired that makes you snippy. The kind of tired that makes doing anything more than laying draped on a couch under a blankie seem not only unfair, but also rather mean. The sort of tiredness that makes you want to throw tantrums and stomp your feet and pout because dammit - if  you could just GO TO SLEEP everything would seem to be sooo much better. But you can't. Cuz you aren't SLEEPY.

Just tired.

This is what happens when I spend a weekend with the girls - I come home fraying on the edges - it's a delight to spend time with them, but my gods - I'm just plain not as young as I used to be. All I really need is a nap, I think.

A 14 hour nap.

On a featherbed.

On the beach.

Yes, yesssss...........................

  

Thankful things....

Thanksgiving started out fabulously - the drive there was easy (though I got snarky over the last hour, as I always do on long trips)

The food was wonderful....

The fellowship was fabulous..... ETA: from left to right - leon, Nee, me, Tam, Corey - all friends - family was too shy for the camera - but we LOOK related, don't we?

And I cried a little - just a wee bit - when it was time to leave.

The trip back was good...... until it wasn't....around 5:30am on Sunday morning - in Bumfucksnitty, E. Tn we were looking for a place to pull off and have breakfast and switch drivers and in the blink of an eye.......ETA: We actually aren't sure HOW it happened - we're thinking that C dozed off for a second, causing us to drift off the road, and he overcorrected and we spun, and hit a tree - the tree caused all the damage....

But I'm fine, and Corey's mostly fine (he was driving, and just ended up with a few bruised ribs) - and we get to pay off some bills, and I get to buy a new car and.....well....

I'm just glad - so very glad - unspeakably, cryingly, praising all that is and shall be glad that WE are okay. Cars are metal and glass and rubber and steel - and as much as I liked it - it compares nothing to how much I love my hubby and myself.....

I've got more to be thankful for than I have to NOT be thankful for - screw a car, I would want to die without my husband.

Kiss the ones you love today - a split second could mean its the last chance you have.

HAVE A HAPPY HOLIDAY!!!

To all my American Friends - eat well, be merry, be thankful, try to NOT physically harm the relatives....


I'll see ya'll on the other side of the Month!!!!


Smooches!!

The latest update....

This is a comparison shot of my dye damge. The first picture is the left side of my head - my texture there is a wiry, tight 4b - and as you can see, almost ALL of the dyed hair has broken of in one patch - this is my constant reminder to myself of the reasons for protective styles, as well as how BAD of an idea it is to bleach/dye my hair chemically.
The right side on the other hand, is 4a like the majority of the rest of my hair - and you can see the difference in how it looks - the dyed hair has not broken off nearly as badly, and it's about 2-3 inches longer than the broken up off side.
*sigh* DYE IS BAD, M'kay????


This is a shot of how my hair would like to stand - straight up. Mind you, in order to get my hair to be this stretched out, it took about a 2 hour combing/detangled session (despite the fact that I had detangled/combed it before putting it into twists) but - I LOVE combing my hair with the horn comb so much, it wasn't even all that bad. Yes, I was bored.



This is my usual hairstyle - from the side and from the back. Really, I don't think my part is THAT huge (I hope not) - I think the flash is just really bright against my shiny hair and scalp. Yeeeeeeeeeeeeah. And I'm slowly learning how to keep that back part straight - but the soft, fuzzy, 3c hair back there - well, it's difficult to keep in place.

hair wise - I fell asleep in the cassia last night (I know, I know) but rinsed it out first thing this morning - or at least rinsed MOST of it out. As I expected it was HARD to rinse out, and when I first rinsed it out, I couldn't really tell a difference in feeling - I could see that my curls were looser again like the first time I henna'd, and I THINK that my ends are a little more brown than red now - the amla, I assume - but couldn't tell much else.

I then put in the DC - SE V05, citric acid, and a wee bit of CASH - and I only left it in for about 3 hours, then rinsed THAT out.

WOW! My hair felt GREAT - it was a PAIN to comb my hair out still - the tangles, the tangles - but once I got them loose, they stayed loose....and then, I split my hair into sections, used some HH and then a lil BS on each section, and twisted them, then twisted them into baby bantu knots. I figured that if I let them dry that way, it'll be easier to flat twist my hair tomorrow. After I had that all bantu'd up, I soaked my hair in some CASH, and started chores. It's been about two/three hours now, and most of the oil has been soaked into my hair.... I figure that I'll add more HH tomorrow and then flat twist them - it should keep my hair nice & soft....

Anyhow! My hair feels nice & strong again - I realized that I missed my 'piano-wire' hair!! I'm thinking every six weeks is a good amount of time - maybe alternating henna and cassia??

Gah. Back to chores......

MErh.

Have been meaning to write for a few days, but just plain haven't - don't know why - I might be hitting one of my quiet times.

Let's see - I tried my usual Wednesday DC - oil, honey and conditioner, and STILL ended up with dreadfully tangled and rough ends. I think now that either I'm using too MUCH oil, or my ends are crying out for a good trimming. I REALLY want to wait til next month and do it by the moon, but I'm not sure that my ends can really handle that - at least not without some help.

So! I'm sitting here right now with a nice thick amla/cassia/CASH/conditioner mix on my head - the cassia I got a while ago in a swap, and it's old, but I figure that it should still give me a nice bit of conditioning, and hopefully thicken & stregthen my hair. I purposely made it PRETTY darn thick, so that I could focus it on my ends more than on my roots - I think I've learned my lesson about henna/cassia & my roots. It's a good bit grittier than the henna from mehendi too - so it'll be 'interesting' to wash out...

They suggest that you only leave it on for an hour - Murph! I think I'll leave it on for about two-three hours, and then do a nice DC overnight with my new conditioner that I got today - it's V05 Split Ends conditioner - it claims to protect hair from breakage and split ends, and is cone free - and was MONDO cheap at Family Dollar, so I'm stoked about that.....though - I'm thinking that since it has protiens in it, I most likely shouldn't put any honey in it - after reading RainKitty's thread about 'flaky' results with honey - I'm thinking that mixing honey & protien might not be the BEST idea for my hair right now. So - just con and CASH and citric acid - and just a wee bit of the last two!

Ah! That's what I wanted to talk about - I did a swap with EbonyGurl000 and got more Whipped Pudding (WP, how I :love: thee!) and some Burnt Sugar Pomade. Now, the BSP does NOT smell like caramel - which is kinda what I was expecting - and I wasn't really sure how I felt about the smell. Finally - I figured out what it DID smell like - caramelized/burnt HONEY. With that awareness, I'm digging the smell a little more - it's VERY strongly honey smelling. And I love it, by the way - I smooth it over my flat twists after getting out of the shower in the morning, and tie my hair down for the drive to work, and my hair is sleek, shiny, and smooth for most of the day - longer if I can keep my hands out of it!

I've put together most of my SHT's goodie box - I REALLY hope that she likes this stuff - I STILL haven't gotten the centerpiece, but I emailed the person I was getting it from, and she SAID it was in the mail, so I'm hoping that it'll be here Saturday - or maybe Monday. *crosses fingers* Hmmm - I need to find a box to put all this stuff in.

*grins* Have a good weekend!!

Historically Speaking.....

So - I was digging around in my old files, and stumbled across this - and since it HAPPENS to be on the same day (jsut seven - SEVEN!!!!! years ago) I figured it would be cool to post it.

Loving U....aint't easy.... - 11/16/99

Yeah.. I'm at work Again....when else would I be able to write in peace??

I had a most interesting conversation yesterday...about falling in love & being in love. I was talking to one of my friends who is sprung...in love.. head over heels. Her man is her life, her heart , her soul. She has said quite often that she would not want to live without him, and that she is in a constant state of depression because he is in NYC and she is here. Okay...well and good. That is lovely and all for her, but when she tried to say that that is what being in love is all about. And at that point I bust out with... " I think that i am too independent to ever fall in love." * laughs * I nearly had the whole computer lab in chaos, as all these women tried to tell me that falling in love doesn't mean giving up who you are, it just means a blending of you and somebody else. * sighs * And yeah, I listened to what they had to say, but all of them were talking about how they started doing things what they never thought they would do... and I asked " That isn't a change of who you are?" they said that I would do these things without thinking about..simply because I wanted to...but why would I suddenly want to do something that I never wanted to do before...because I was in love?? * rolls eyes * Somehow.. I think not. And I don't think they understood what I was trying to say. What I was trying to say... in my own brief words was: I am unable to give of myself fully...I am unable to let myself go all the way. I analyze everything to see how this affects me . My boundaries of how far I let anyone into my heart have been set in stone, and it will take a lot more than love to break them down. I have fought too long and too hard to be my OWN woman to suddenly turn into a creation of someone else's love. And sometimes I regret that...a lot of times. Sometimes I wish that I I couldn't be so coldly analytical, and that I could let emotions run me for more than a few days. But I can't... or at least at this point in my life I won't. Why? *shrugs * I got burnt rather badly as a child... * laughs * Yeah.. I'm blaming this one on my 'parents' cuz going through 3 divorces between the same two people doesn't inspire precisely the greatest faith & trust in love. Going to shelters and cars and other folx houses cuz love led you there...doesn't quite inspire the security and comfort that I want in my life...so I opt out of that whole falling IN love shyt. I love... *nods * oh yes I love totally and fully and with my all. But I love as *thinks * as a part of me that is extended. My love is not so tightly wound around who I am that it can't be released without taking parts of me with it. I love as part of a feeling that I have FOR a certain person...but if that person was gone... I would not be destroyed within myself. I guess that is why I tend to treat my friends and my lovers so much the same. I am not willing to give anyone a higher status.. because that means I would have to do more than just love this person.. I would have to let that person inside of me...let them roam around the solitude that I call my heart..but I want to keep those rooms all to myself... letting no one else in...I need a place to retreat to that I can always call all mine own... created by me for me...and I let my heart be that place. So...yeah... I think I am too independent to fall in love. It requires a amount of change and rapture that I am not warm enough to see. *laughs * as my girlfriend says... 'caught up in the rapture' I *sighs * I ain't strong enough to endure the pain of falling OUT of love... so I never let my self go to fall In in the first place. *sighs * Maybe if I just once saw a happy love affair... that lasted till death did them part... that STARTED and ENDED with them still IN love..and not having gone to them just 'lovin' each other.. I might have a little more faith. But until the fairy tales start to come true... I will stick to loving those who deserve my love...and not fallin...for nothing.

Stay Jazzed.

---

Scarily enough, even afterh aving fallen head over heels in love, and having been married for three years - I still can't really disagree with the 21 year old I was then. I KNOW that there are parts of me that I don't let C into - and every day, I judge what I do for HIM means to ME.

*laughs*

I DO, however, do things for him that I would never have pictured myself doing for someone else - just because he likes it. I'm SO giving, and SO loving, that - I can't really hold back giving to others - I just hold back on giving MYSELF to others.

I think that sometimes, THAT is why I'm so - freaked/eager to have a child - because I think that will be the event that really shows me a hint of the expanse of my love.

Hah! And Hah!

We aren't going to talk about Nano, and that's all I have to say about that.

It's rained everymorning this week - and since it's only Monday, that's not saying much - but at least the sun peeks out a tiny bit for around 15 minutes at roughly 2pm - when I'm usually in some meeting or another.

I got measured yesterday - and I've lost FIVE inches from my waist - not so much from the hips (like a 1/2 inch) and hardly anything from the boobs (1/4 inch - no suprise there) - I'm turning back into an hourglass.  I'm still - meh - about my progress rate. I know, I know, it's only been eight weeks, but STILL. I'm desparately fighting the urge to eat LESS - I know that I'm barely eating as much as I should now (we aren't even going to TALK about my protien intake) and eating less isn't GOING to help - so. Breakfast is GOOD! Dinner is better. Yum.

I've been busily domestic diva'ing it up over the last few days. Over the weekend, I envisioned, measured, purchased, and put together 10 window insulators. You know how people usually put plastic over their windows in the winter for insulation? We have teh old house, so we really did need to do that - but 1) I hate taping stuff to the windows - we have enough nice days that sometimes we might WANT to open the windows in December and 2) I'm far, far, far too cheap to consider having to buy more plastic EVERY year - besides it being utterly environmentally heinous. So.  I built wooden frames, attached the plastic to them, and put foam all around the outside, so that they fit snugly in the window. Easy, inobtrusive, cheap, easily removable, and can be reused until the plastic rips - and then I'll jsut have to fix that one....so YEAH!!

The other thing I have been working on has been installing the sewing machine into one of the sewing tables that I have. It's been a riproaring, growling swearing, cheering experience, I'll say that much. I strongly suspect that I'm doing this the HARDEST way possible, but hell, it's fun. I have to swing by Home Despot this afternoon and pick up some shorter screws and a couple of wingnuts and something else (I made a list) so hopefully, I'll be able to finish installing it tonight, and then be able to clean it and get it working tomorrow.

I've found that I REALLY enjoy putting stuff together/installing stuff/fixing stuff. It's - fun starting with a bunch of STUFF, and ending up with something - functional and useful and CHEAP. Mwuauaahhhaaa!!

Though, I think I might turn into more of a tool queen than my hubby  - I finally gave in and admitted that yes, we could use a dremel tool (and a saw, and a sander, and a better drill, and a worktable, and........)

I've already figured out the first thing that I'm going to make - a simple floor pillow for my 'nook' upstairs.

Ummm... what else? Getting geared up to go to my mommy's house for THanksgiving - I'm excited - looking forward to seeing my mom and my grandmom and friends..... It should be loads of fun - more fun than we would have at the in-laws, that's for bloody sure.

I think that's it, guys and gals...... let the sun shine in.....

Amazing! I actually didn't write at all over the weekend - but that was more because I was barely online over the weekend - I was busy with all sorts of household chores. I didn't get NEARLY half as much done as I wanted/needed to, but ah well.

A few random thoughts/observations....

*) I was washing my hair Sunday night - working BS & condish through it, and it jsut - didn't FEEL right - my hair ran out before my hands thought it should, and I realized that really - I went from shoulder length hair to a pixie cut, and it's going to take me a while to adjust to the fact that my hair is SHORT. I think that's one of the reasons why I love have my hair put 'up' - I can't really tell how long it is, so it feels as long as it should be, which is about twice as long as it is. If that made any sense.

*) I'm sure that my curls are conspiring against me, as my hair is longer now than it was in that 'fresh from shower' picture that I took all of last week, and I KNOW that my hair hasn't GROWN that much, therefore my curls are jsut hanging looser in order to highlight the silliness of me trying to measure it's growth. It'll hang differently depending on whether it's dry, clarified, freshly conditioned, what sort of conditioner I used, etc, etc, etc..... *gives hair a loving glare* Difficult! Just like me! :)

*) Something in my last batch of DC did NOT agree with my hair - I think I either overdid the citric acid, or the CASH oil does not like to be used in conditioner. The ends of my hair were - gnarly - to say the least. It could have been that the baking soda lifted my cuticles, and sleeping on the wet gave them a chance to tangle and become generally grumpy - once I rinsed with cool water though, they smoothed out MOSTLY pretty nicely. So - my next DC will be condish, honey, and CASH - just to see if it's the CASH - though, something TOLD me to put less CA in it. Well - I can't say that it's done any harm - my ends seemed to calm down rather well once they were rinsed out....so we shall see.

*) Another glorious thing about my hair - it's SHINY. I mean - it SHEENS. And okay, it might be the Humectress (which is making a FABLUOUS leave-in, by the way), but I twist my hair up, tie it down with a scarf to tame all the flyaways while I'm driving to work, and when I get here, it's - SHINY. Heck, my hair is shiner than most of my coworkers - and I'm the only one with 'nappy' hair that isn't 'supposed' to be shiny. *sighs* Internal health & hair products (thank you henna!!) really can achieve some amazing stuff.
Speaking of henna! I went to the local halal market to pick up a pack of pita bread, and saw a bottle of henna sitting on the shelf - it didn't have a date on it, but it was only 2.49, so I figured- why not, right?? I plan on trying it on my skin - that's the best way for me to tell how 'potent' a henna is - how dark does it dye my skin, and how long does it stay? I should dye my fingernails again....

*) Someone started a thread asking 'What does long hair' mean to you? - and I wanted to keep my answer here:

Honestly - I think that I am not all that invested in my hair - it's not a sign/indicator/ flag of anything to me - my refusal to get a relaxed has nothing to do with me trying to 'demonstrate' my blackness - jsut like me getting (and taking out) my locs had nothing to do with 'spirituality'.
I want long hair because it feels RIGHT to me - whenever I think of myself, I see myself with a LOT of hair - thick and luscious and long. It's sensual and nuturing and warm and smells wonderfully of me....it's - so very very natural and so very very gorgeous and so much mine. And since I'm a black woman - and usually the refrain is 'The only way you can have long hair is if you relax it or dread it' - and I'm stubborn, and happen to ENJOY being contrary and proving people wrong - just because it's fragile doesn't mean it'll never grow! -so - I'm growing long hair because I love it, and because I want to learn about it, so that maybe I can show other women (and my daughters) what CAN be done with gorgeous, LONG, nappy, natural hair.

So! I remembered what the other thing was that I wanted to type about - trimming.

Usually, when I twist up my hair, I can tell that it needs to be trimmed because the ends will be really thin, or they won't 'spiral' all of the way. This time though, when I twisted my hair - it was well - it didn't LOOK like it needed a trim. In fact, the ends were actually in purty darn good condition. I remember the day that I look at my hair and groaned that it needed a trim, it was fresh out of flat twists, and I'm wondering if the shrinkage factor just made my ends look to' up from the flo' up. I'm hoping that what it was - not that I mind trimming - it's just nice to see that keeping my hair in a truly protective style is good for it.

Oh yeah, let me pause for a second here and go into a brief rant about my people, my people.
I SWEAR - if I hear one MORE black woman get all defeatist and STATE that her hair won't grow I'mma - I'mma SCREAM. *sigh* It seems like such a simple thing to understand - let's say your hair only grows to neck length, right? And lets say you dye your hair. NOW. If your terminal length is TRULY neck length - you won't HAVE to 'grow' the dye out - the hairs will just shed, and be replaced by new, undyed hairs.....so you won't see the slow, creeping roots, and you won't see the dye slowly vanishing. Same thing with a perm - if necklength is your TERMINAL length, you won't get an even distribution of NG - hairs will just grow nappy. Now. NOW. If NEITHER of these things happen (ie, you GROW OUT) the dye - then guess what? Your. Hair. IS. STILL. GROWING!!!!!!!!!!

Now. The fact that you can't RETAIN length is something ENTIRELY different - and it's something that can be corrected by using the right products, techniques, and styles.
And please, just because YOU can't take care of your hair (or choose to NOT take care of your hair) in a way that RETAINS every scrap of growth, don't tell otha sistas that they are 'obsessed' for trying to grow their hair or that a goal of barely 20 inches is 'unrealistic'. Just say that YOU aren't willing to learn how - and work towards growing your hair out.
Back AWAY from the haterade.
Damn.

*deep breath* Okay - with THAT rant out of the way - I still want to trim my hair with the moon, but now, I'm not sure how MUCH to trim. I still have the ulta short section on the left side (which is definitely growing out - but ALL of the dyed hair has broken off in certain areas *strokestrokelovelove*), but I'm not trying to even all my hair up right now - it's going to have a be a GOOD bit longer before I start doing chops like that - and heaven knows, as much as I would like to, doing a 'dusting' well - um, no. Not on these curls.... though, if I twisted em up, I might be able to pull that off. Well, I've got almost 5 weeks to figure it out, so we shall see.

Yesterday's twistout rapidly downgraded itself to a hot mess - the combo of sweating my arse off in the gym and then going home and 'playing' in it for an hour or two - well, no. I hopped in the shower before I went to bed, got it soaking wet, and slapped in some White Rain. Showercapped up, and went to bed. Got up a wee bit early this morning, combed it out (and the love affair with the horn comb CONTINUES - seriously - all of my combs are in the cupboard except for the horn one (which I keep wanting to call a bone comb) and I'm thinking about attaching a leather strap or something to it so that I can hang it - right now, it's in my conditioner mixing cup) and parted it to put into my flat twists. I used a wee bit of the Humectress as a leave in, and *pats head* my hair - despite being totally dry - is still 'slightly damp soft'. I'm liking it - and I used the TINIEST bit - so that's cool to know that it's nice as a leave-in.

*happy dance* As I'm typing this, I have a new PM - and I just KNOW it's about the Oyin trade (score!!) that EbonyGurl000 and I am plotting on - I can get some of the tempting, tempting, tempting henna out of the house, and finally bust into my cocoa butter, AND swap out the NTM that I know I won't use because it's fulla cones - and I get OYIN! Whipped Pudding and the Burnt Sugar Pomade (which I have been ITCHING to try since I read about it, but I'm trying to control my purchases....) *happy dance*

Ummmm...... I think that's it.

Have a good weekend (like I won't be writing sumthin else tomorrow!)