Wedding Bands and Changes

I got our wedding bands in the mail last night!!! They are LOVELY - everything that I had hoped for them to be. There is only one, itsy, bitsy, littttlllllleee problem! My e-ring won't set flush agains the band. and - since I have short fingers the 5.5mm band of my e-ring and the 4mm band of my wedding band is just a WEE bit too wide. Of course I tried it on! What woman WOULDN'T try it on?? I'm leaving htem with Corey when I go down just so that I won't freaking PLAY with them all the time. :)

Soooo....I'm on the hunt for a new setting. :) I think I've found the one I want. Since I can't have what I have now - I want something SUPER simple. This is the ring that I want to have.




See?? That's about as simple as you can get...but if it's super high (I'm dangerous with my nails the last thing I need is a deadly weapon on my hand!!) I might try to get this one


or this one

Crowning Glory

*grins*

So - I told my mother that I found my dress - and she volunterred to get the tiara for me. I'm just scared that it's a one-off kind of thing, so I'm calling them today to find out 1) If it's the last one they have 2)If not, what's the online link to it and 3) Is there any way a woman in PA can buy it?

What else? I placed the order for the paper for the stationary, and I got the new magnets in the mail last night. I like these A LOT better, as they are much thinkcer and are just more durable in general. The sticky stuff is reallly sticky - currently it's holding onto a paper CD holder with CD inside - and supporting both on my refrigerator door. So - I should have the paper by next week, and I can have fun over Christmas putting those together.

:) things are going just SWIMMINGLY!!


Jasmyn

The Bold and the Beautiful

So - I woke up this morning with the conscious thought that I was not going to go and try any dresses on this weekend. :) Yeah, I was going to wimp out AGAIN.
I got dressed, went to the post office to mail off the signed contract to the Flamingo (YAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!)
and then to Value City so I could get some bathroom rugs for my transmation into a domestic goddess. There happens to be a David's Bridal right next to the Value City, and I was going to go in just to get a closer look at the flutter sleeve dress they had in the window - mainly because of the mint green color. I wanted to see if it was a gown or if it was a bridesmaid dress.

20 minutes later I somehow ended up decked out in a gown, tiara and necklace. The dress was actually one of the ones I picked out from their website that I wanted to try on - and it fit perfectly. If I planned on staying the same size between now and the wedding, the only alterations I would have had to get done to it were to bustle it - even the LENGTH was right!!

I had picked up four to try on at first glance - a poufy ballgown skirted one:



A flutter sleeve one (the same one that drew me into the store - and I never found out if the green one was a gown or a bridesmaid's dress):



a strapless one with flower accents (the very FIRST Davids dress I fell in love with):


and a strapless wrap waisted one:



Okay - the ballgown one just plain didn't look right on me. I think the skirt was WAYYYYY to full for my hips. I looked plain old odd in it. I most likely spent about 5 minutes in it.

The flutter sleeve one I liked - I felt like Guinevere in it - VERY medival. :) So, it was pretty - but not really the vibe I wanted.

The flowered one was sooo pretty - feminie, flowery, but - eh.

The wrap waisted one though - it was PERFECT. In every way shape and form, this IS the Dress. It fit PERFECTLY for one thing (if I planned on staying the same size, the only alteration I would have to get would be to have it bustled - even the LENGTH was perfect) and when I put it on - I glowed. :) I kept saying that I felt like a Pretty Pretty Princess in it - but that's not quite accurate - I felt like ROYALTY. THe image that I have of it is in white, but the dress I tried on was ivory - and after I put it on, I had no doubts about getting a 'bridal' gown rather than a less formal gown. The only downside? The price! When I picked out the gowns, before I even tried them on - something TOLD me I would fall in love with the most expensive one. True to form, I did. It's ONLY 550.00 - but to me that's still and outrageous price to pay for a dress I'm only going to wear ONCE. So... as soon as I got home I went hunting to see if I could find a dress LIKE it - for less. That style seems to be popular as ALL get out :) (I think a certain M.S. has something to do with that - and I ain't talking bout Marta Stewart either) and so I found one on bridesave for 200 dollars LESS. :)

So let's do the side by side comparison



The Davids picture doesn't show A LOT of detail - but the main differences that I see between the two are that the davids one has a opening in the front, and the opening is beaded (which would account for the price jump) and I think the wrap bit on the davids dress was a little bit lower than the one on the Ginnis dress.

So - choices, choices. I'm wondering if I can talk my mother into buying my dress as my wedding gift - if she is willing - I can almost guarantee that I'm going to go with the David's dress. I also LOVED a tiara they had there that went PERFECTLY with the dress (and happened to be 150.00 - a perfect example of me and my selection of the most expensive thing I can!) I can't find a picture of it on the website, but it was made from natural colored and pale pink seed pearls, with little crystals and beads on it. The beads are the EXACT same color and style as the ones on my dress. (Notice how I'm calling it MY dress now??)


So - that's my adventure in Bridalhood for the day. :) I'm thrilled and excited all at once. And ya know what? Honestly - even if my mother DOESN't get the dress - I STILL will buy it for myself. *grins* Esp. since if I lose enough weight to get out of the womens sizes, the price DROPS by a hundred bucks. I'm not gonna comment on that at all... I've slowly come to just plain ACCEPT it.

I've found my dress. I've found it found it found it!!!!!

*bouncy* jasmyn

Rings & Things

*grins* He approved of the rings, I ordered the rings, and trust me there will be much excitement when we get them. *grins*
He saw the email I sent him with the ring picture in it -and I think it really hit him - to quote "This means we are REALLLY getting married!!" he-he. He's having his own 'oh shit' moments as the Knot so lovingly calls them.

In other news - we've named our firstborns of each sex already. The boy is going to be a Jr. (We'll call him CJ) and the girl will be Anjali Rylah HisLastName. Her middle name is a combo of our moms first names.
*grins* Something tells me it's going to be an adventure for us to actually wait the two years to have kids. Heh.

Oh yeah - I've decided to take his last name and still keep my own. So I'm going to have a nice long 4 name name, but I don't know how often (if at all) I will use my maiden name.

What else? I think I might go and try on dresses this weekend. I got on the scale last night and was bowled over. I'm in the single DIGITS!! Soon I'll be totally out of the 200's and that is when I wanted to start trying dresses on. Also - I think I may have actually screwed up enough courage to go trolling in the Bridal Salon (Davids - as they are the only place that I trust to have dresses I can truly fit into) on my own.

I'm going to play about this weekend with the invitation paper, and most likely place the order for that on Monday.

I realized one very cool thing about using the credit card to pay for the wedding. Our actual budget is going to be MORE than 7200.00 - since we are going to be paying stuff off as we get it. We are still masking an effort to save, and every month whatever is in the savings account goes to the credit card. So - I suddenly grasp the beausty of revolving credit. :)

jasmyn

The Concept of Conception

Continuing on my family kick -

 
Some point not too long ago (and it's REALLY sad that I can't remember exactly when) we were talking about his 21 yo brother - who currently has two little ones. Then we started talking about when we wanted to start trying to have kids. *gulp* I have an IUD - one of the five year ones. I got it in 2000, and so it's scheduled to come out June of 2005. I suggested that we ust wait until it's time for it come out, and then start having kids.

It was a most interesting conversation. I love him (and he loves me) for the fact that even when we don't necessarily agree with each other, we have so many of the same erratic lines of thinking, that with a few tweaks we can come to some agreement that thrills us both.

I've always been eagerly looking forward to the point when I was actually ready to start having kids. Funnily enough, having a husband wasn't high on my list of things I wanted to accomplish before the little ones arrived, but it's absolutely wonderful that I will have one - and he wants kids almost as much as I do.

Mentally - we know that we are both ready. We've stared the wonder, joy, and pain of having kids in the face, looked at it from every angle - and have accepted that while it's a scary and overwhelming thing beng a parent - we feel comfortable that we will do the best job we can...and we feel that job will be a pretty darn good one.

Emotionally - We're ready. I know that I have done a amazing amount of growing in the past two or three years, and so has he. *grins*  Us being together has helped in that a lot - my only child tendencies (selfish, loner, don't like to share... :) ) have been tamed  A LOT - I mean how can I NOT want to be with and share everything with the man I'm going to marry? So I found out that it's not as hard as I thought, and that when love is there - it makes it almost second nature.
He's grown a lot too - he's matured and is working, living, thinking about his future - our future - and isn't obsessed living fabulously today and worrying about tommorow when it gets here. We balance each other out so well it's sickening. :)

Financially - Eh. this is the main reason why we want to wait a few years. We know that children (at least for the first couple of years) are as expensive as you make them - for instance, why do parents buy their 1 month old clothing that costs more than 15-20 bucks? They are going to wear it once or twice and then grow out of it...*shakes head* what sense does that make? Esp. if they are seasonal specific clothing. And a 700 dollar CRIB?? That does not convert into a toddler bed or anything else...just a crib. *shakes head* 
So...we agreed that while children aren't THAT expensive - if I'm not working, we will like to have a nice little nest egg and have Corey working in a stable position...which he is creeping closer and closer too, but at this point we still have a couple of years to go.

So. It's interesting. Most days - I don't really think about the wedding itself much. I think more of what it means - what it symbolizes - what's going to shift into something solid to the rest of the world. It's so solid, and real and concrete to us - but that dang ceremony will make it real to the rst of the world - and oddly enough (considering that we usually could give a fat fig about what the rest of the world thinks) that matters.

jasmyn

The Grinch Woman's Family

I'm a Grinch. I fully admit to, and have no shame about the fact. Generally, I just plain don't LIKE Christmas. I suppose I could blame it on the fact that I never had Christmases as I was growing up, so instead of catching the feeling of the 'Magic' of the Season, instead I simply observed the materialism, artifical joy, and artifical trees.

This year though - it's been worse. I remember the odd agony of going back to school after Christmas break, and having no exciting news (or gifts) to talk about and prattle over. No visits from family, no big dinner - Christmas was just a chance to not go to school. And suddenly, I'm aware of the fact that - oh my god! I'm starting a FAMILY - me and Corey are about to join together and be a family - including kids...and I don't want those children to have to experience the outsiderness that I felt after Christmas. But at the same time - I just can't get into it. I want to start a tradition - something that we do as a family and that will be carried on to our children - and I just can't think of anything that doesn't feel either patently false or that doesn't feed into the American Xmass excess.

Kwanzaa - I simply can't get into. It's more of a made-up holiday than Christmas is, and heaven knows that if I felt false doing Christmas stuff, I would feel even MORE of an artifical person doing Kwanza stuff.

Solstice - That I can do - could do, with ease. It's roughly the same time of year (which is no accident), it's ancient, and it's all about honoring and being grateful for something OUTSIDE of yourself. It's almost anti-materialistic, and it can incorporate many of the more common aspects of Christmas (once again, no accident). The interesting part might be getting Corey to come along - he understands that I'm more pagan than anything else, but would he be willing to roll with me and to incorporate such a distinctly pagan holiday into our family tradition?? :) And then I feel rather guilty doing it - because heaven knows that I am, at best, an erratic pagan. :) But I feel that if there is any tradition I could accept (in both spirit and action) it would be Solstice.

I've been tossing around the thought since Thanksgiving with his family...because I realized that there was no way that we would be spending many holidays of any sort with them. Thankfully, Corey is NOTHING like the rest of his family - and we have agreed that we want our childrens exposure to them limited and strictly supervised. It's a matter of the young being so innocent and open - and us not wanting them to soak up any of the poison that floats about that house.

We talked about it - in a rather general and vague manner on our way back that night. And ever since I've been thinking about it - I mean it's not like you can AVOID thinking about Christmas from Halloween until the middle of January (when the 'post' Christmas sales finally die down). I've been debating wheter or not to buy a tree...to put up my lights...to burn some candles. And I haven't yet come to a real state of serenity about any of it.

Our conversation about Christmas then morphed into a conversation about religion. I've experienced two of the Big Three (Islam and Christianity) and I have absolutely no intention of indoctrinating my children into either one (and plan on attempting to limit their exposure as well) until they are old enough to truly understand. Corey - who grew up as a nominal Baptist - agress with me. Church will have little to no place in our home, nor will Jesus. But at the same time, I want to expose our children to religion - explain it - without expecting them to follow it...or to believe.

It's interesting how many little things I've started to notice that are missing from what I do today, and what I want to do (and have always planned on doing) once I have a family. As the wedding creeps closer (270 days!) I'm slowly becoming more and more aware that I'm part of my own Family now. That's almost as scary as realizing that I plan on binding myself to one man for the rest of my life. Actually - it's a little scarier, because I'm starting to feel ALL grown up. And I'm still too young for that. :)

jasmyn

Sparkly Warklies....

Is there any time limit before which you shouldn't buy the wedding rings? There's no jinxy type superstition stuff, is there?? I found the rings (680 for the pair!!!) that we want - and they are on sale...and I really want to get them...but should you order the rings like way early? *shrugs* This is going to be our ring






And the only difference between his and mine is that his will be bigger. They are 4mm wide, so it won't look too girly. :) The only thing I'm concerned about is the fact that the band of my engagement ring is already close to 5mm at the widest point, and that's a LOT of metal on my finger. I'm debating switching the e-ring to my right hand, or just getting another thinner setting for the stone. Also, because of the design of my ring, only a custom made band will sit flush with it, so even if I DID wear them on the same finger, it would 'tilt' because the prongs push out from under the stone. Choices, choices.

---

Other Random Stuff:

We got the contract from the Flamingo in the mail this weekend, and I really need to sign it and send it back - like tonight.

We're debating if we want a DJ at the reception. It's going to be a brunch, and if I had my druthers (and a wee bit more money) I would prefer just a band - background music on demand. We don't need a master of ceremonies as there won't be a garter throw, or a bouquet toss, and the cake cutting we can announce ourselves, and our first dance song would be lovely with just instrumentals. Choices, choices.

I'm still dragging my feet about going out to look for a dress. I STILL don't know what kind of dress I want. I waver between a white or ivory 'Maggie' like dress (with the side wrap - not the corsety kind) and a simple flowing gold or reddish dress like the one I posted a while ago. I would look fabulous (and feel bridal) in either one - it's just ARGH. Do I want to be traditional? Or do I want to be all unique and stuff? I think me wearing a white bridal dress would actually suprise more folx than me wearing a non-bridal dress would.

I have 50 magnetic business cards for anyone who wants them. :) I realized that as all the printers I have access to are LASER printers, and you can't run the magnet sheets through a laser printer. *sigh* So, I'm going to have to buy the peel off and stick kind instead. I'll print the image on glossy photo paper, then stick them on. Hopefully, it will look about the same. The only 'fun' part is going to be doing the cutting. I swear - the things I DO to myself. :)

jasmyn

Step 1 (check!!)

Okay. So it's official now - September 1, 2003 - 10am.


*grins* I booked it Frday. I'm sooo excited!!!!! As soon as I get the magnet backings I'm going to start putting together the STD's. Corey actually got ALL but ONE of his addresses in a record 5 days, and we've decided to justgo with whoever we get for a officiant, so he doesn't have to ask his 'home' pastor to fly out to Vegas.

My mother changed her mind about getting us our rings (And I didn't dare to ask why because no matter how I would have said it I would have sounded like a spoiled brat)so I'm now on the hunt for this style of ring that we loved for a reasonable price. *sigh* So far the cheapest I've seen has been 1500 for the set. GAH!

We're trying to be sure that everything is covered. The main things that I DIDN'T include in our budget were the rings and the outfits. So...we are going to work that out somehow.

We are going to register over Christmas. Can I be MILDLY disgusted by the fact that there is NO Crate&Barrel in this area? NONE!!! So - we will most likely register there while I'm down there with him, and maybe we'll come back up here for New Years.

jasmyn

Back In the Groooooveee

Okay. I've been a mildly busy bunny lately. Ever since I made our little magnet (go look at the entry before this one if you missed it!!) I've been on a vertable whirlwind of wedding work.

I finally called the Flamingo, and asked a crapload of questions. Most of them were answered to my satisfaction, even though it seems like they charge a fee for EVERY-FREAKING-THING. I'm going to activate the card tonight, and book the wedding tommorow. *gulp*

I found out through talking to them that the site holds 100 people - not the 40 that we thought they held. So, the guest list is slowly swelling once again. Right now we are at 47 people, and I have yet to talk to my mom to see who ELSE she wants to add.

Me and the Boy *dreamysigh* have (we think) picked out our wedding bands. I need to chitchat with my mom and find out what her planned budget was. We know (more or less) what we want the bands to look like, and we are going to get identical bands.

What else? I've been dress 'shopping' online. It kinda sucks that I haven't made any good girlfriends here - I have no one to go gown shopping with. So.... I have to grind up the balls to go shopping by myself. I'm going to go once I hit my next weight goal. :) The dress that I most likely will end up with is much more 'bridal' looking than what I thought I would end up with.

I just brought part of the supplies for the STD's - the magnet backing bit which I found on e-bay for SUPER cheap. I was able to get enough sheets to make 50 magnets (and I'm only going to need 30 as of right now) for 8 bucks - shipping and handling included. I will most likely come to work realllly late one day or on the weekend *hangs head in shame* to use our absolutely WONDERFUL color printer to whip them out.

The next thing (which I'm DREADING doing) is getting addresses for everyone. Actually - to be more accurate - it's going to be more of a pain getting Corey to get his addresses, because I think I have most of mine already, and the ones I don't have, I can get with a couple of e-mails or phone calls.

What else? The website is almost done - I just need to add Corey's perspective of the proposal, and change the main menu because I have no clue what I'm going to put in one section - and I think we will be set.

I'm REALLY getting married. Is it scary that I'm STILL (well over a year since I

*grins*
said yes) coming to that realization??

jasmyn

DIYBride

Okay - I've been showing this off to everyone jsut cuz I'm so stinking proud of myself I could SPIT. And so naturally - I had to show it to my loverly OD folx too.

I'm split between making this into a magnet or a postcard (simply because I like spending money and I think magnets are cool and it's harder to lose a magnet -it will most likely end up being a magnet) but finally - here are our STDs:

Ain't they cute?? If I do use them as magnets - I'm still trying to figure out what card of car to send them in/on.

What else?? We looked at the guest list and our newly fluid financial state and decided that we would up the guest list. The chapel only holds 40 folx (YAAAYYY!!) and so we are inviting exactly forty people....and they are all people that I TRULY hope will come. :) We might add another 10 or so on the thought that maybe everyone won't come, but it's Vegas so that might be a dangerous assumption.

We also added Corey's home pastor to the list - he REALLY wants to be married by this man - so we will foot the flight out and his room for one night. I'm proud of my baby - he's admitted he's been being himself and procrastinating and he has PROMISED to talk to the Rev. by the end of the month.

*grins* See? I'm back in the flow - I plan on calling the Flamingo tonight (for real this time) and checking on the room rates, the chapel rates, whether that day is booked ( I would be SOOO crushed) and all that kinda jazz.

If anyone wants to take a gander at our website feel free - we need to add some pictures of ourselves to it...hmmm I might do that and scan them in and that will be what's the the First Year bit. Let me know what ya'll think.

*grins*


Have a good weekend all....esp YOU!!!! *giggles*


Jasmyn

Bad Girl...bad bad girl.

Okay - I've got a confesion to make.

Me and Corey were supposed to be saving for the wedding right - 'x' amount of money in the bank every month for 19 months. I even got a second job to facilitate that process.

We have MAYBE 500.00 bucks in the bank account. I haven't looked at it in ages because I would be crushed.
And we were doing so good until he moved - paying for two households is a hell of a lot more expensive than just one.

So - I regularly (since I paid off most of the college credit cards) get these juicy offers in the mail. I filled one of them out, and HELLO - about 5 weeks later got a shiny silver card in the mail. Citibank. Very Nice.

It's currently sitting in my file box, unactivated.

We have every single intention of maxing that sucker out for the wedding (interestingly enough, it has a 7,200 limit - just what our budget is).
And for some reason I feel kinda bad. Yeah - doing this will increase the likelihood of me being mostly debt free by the wedding. It will help him feel less guilty about having to use some of the wedding money to move, and he will hopefully be able to get a nicer car.

So - all in all it's a good thing.

I just would rather that it wasn't.

any other wedding news?

Nope. I still haven't called the Flamingo, mainly because I keep forgetting with the time zone bit and I don't WANT to call from work, but I've gotten my nails painted a 'colorchange' Flamingo Pink last night. No, I did not know that it was a color change when I got it. The warmer my hands are, the paler the pink is. Right now, both me and my hands are freezing, so it's dark Barbie pink.

So - hopefully I will call the Flamingo this weekend (Friday) and get rates and get some stuff booked, as well as get clarity on some extra fees.

I've learned more about Vegas Weddings from UW than I ever could on the Knot. In fact lately, I don't even GO to the Knot anymore. I go in cycles with them, and lately the so-called 'women' on there have been much more like bitches than brides.

So.

Oh yeah - we changed the date (AGAIN) to Septemer 1, 2003.

I just relized that drops us right under 300 days.

*gulp*

Maybe I really SHOULD get on the ball, eh?

:)

Jasmyn.

Huh? What? Who me??

*waves* Hullo.

No, I haven't done a scrap of wedding planning.
No, I haven'teven really been THINKING about the wedding planning.

Clearly, I'm in one of my troughs where anything wedding related is pushed into the realm of 'eh, I've got another 10 months'. Besides - I've done most of the hard stuff already.

I have to admit though - even though I AM in trough, at least I'm still excited about when I will rise up out it. :) Which is much more than I can say I felt about the 'other' wedding bit.

So.

Jasmyn

Decisions

So - the decision has been made. :) We're going with the Flamingo, for several reasons. The main one in my head was the fact that since The Grove couldn't offer a brunch, and since the wedding is going to be 8:30am - it's jsut WRONG to ask people to take a 1/2 hour drive to see a 20 min ceremony - and then have to drive BACK before they can eat. Esp. considering most everyone would be staying on or near the strip. And even more esp. consiering the fact that I hate waking up early. :)
At some point I'm actually going to call the Flamingo and get some clairty about a few things me and Corey thought of (no dealbreakers, just good to knows) and then check to see what their rates are in August/Septemer.
I got an email from the Knot today - telling me that I have 11 months left. *shakes head*

So - things to do, things to do.

jasmyn

The Vows/Order of Ceremony

See - once I get into the wedding, I REALLY get into it. Over the weekend (that I spent with my lovely) we hammered out our  vows. Neither of us really WANTS to have to say alot, as we would most likely flub it all to high heaven - so thus you see that the officiant will be doing a LOT of talking. :)
It's a mixture of several ceremonies, including a handfasting, the blessing of the hands, and the classic ceremony. The music - *grins* Well that's just us. I tried to talk him into walking in to Smashmouth's version of I'm a Believer but he reeeeeealllly wasn't hearing it. :) Party-pooper.

 

---

 

Prelude (Seating of Guests)  (Jagged Edge - Let's Get Married)
Seating of Parents  (Jagged Edge - Let's Get Married)
Processional Music (Art of Noise – Moments in Love)
Entrance of the Groom
Entrance of the Bride (Background Instrumentals – Something)
Welcome of Guests
Address to the Couple
Declaration of Intent
Vows/Ring Ceremony
Blessing of the Marriage Pronouncement
Seal Vows with a Kiss
Presentation of Mr. & Mrs. (End Instrumentals)
Recessional (Dido - Thank You)

 

---

 

Welcome  Of the Guests

Dear Friends and Family - Welcome to the marriage of The Boy  and Jasmyn 

They have found that special someone to love and trust with heart, mind, & soul. They are blessed to have found someone to support them and comfort them in times of trial. They  know they have good reason to be happy together and we rejoice with them in their union.

We celebrate with them the love they have discovered in each other and we support their decision to commit themselves to each other for the rest of their lives. Marriage is an honorable estate not to be entered into lightly but thoughtfully and reverently. Marriage is a commitment to take another person as a lover, as a companion, as a friend.Marriage is not a casual event nor is it simply a private affair between two individuals.

The uniting of two individuals from two separate families and backgrounds to establish a new family is an important and memorable event. The uniting of this couple is an occasion of great significance which we can all celebrate.
As they publicly express their love in this ceremony, Jasmyn  and The Boy  demonstrate not only their joy in the present, but their commitment to share the future together. We share their joy, and promise to do all we can to help bring to fulfillment a future of love and peace and joy  for them and for their family.

Address to the Couple

Jasmyn , please face The Boy , and hold his hands, palms up, so you may see the gift that they are to you. These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and vibrant with love, hands that are holding yours on your wedding day, as he promises to love you all the days of his life. These are the hands that will work along side yours, as together you build your future, as you laugh and cry, as you share your innermost secrets and dreams. These are the hands you will place with expectant joy against your stomach, until he too, feels his child stir within you. These are the hands that look so large and strong, yet will be so gentle as he holds your baby for the first time. These are the hands that will massage tension from you neck and back in the evenings after you’ve both had a long hard dayThese are the hands that will give you support as he encourages you to chase down your dreams. These are that hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of happiness. These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes: tears of sorrow and tears of joy These are the hands that will comfort you in illness, and hold you when fear or grief wrack your mind. These are the hands that will tenderly lift your chin and brush your cheek as they raise your face to look into his eyes: eyes that are completely filled with his overwhelming love and desire for you.

The Boy , please hold Jasmyn ’s hands, palms up, where you may see the gift that they are to you. These are the hands of your best friend, smooth, young and carefree, that are holding yours on this your wedding day, as she pledges her love to you all the days of her life. These are the hands that will hold each child in tender love, soothing them through illness and hurt, supporting and encouraging them along the way, and knowing when it is time to let go. These are the hands that will massage tension from you neck and back in the evenings after you’ve both had a long hard day. These are the hands that will hold you tight as you struggle through difficult times. These are the hands that will work along side yours, as together you build your future, as you laugh and cry, as you share your innermost secrets and dreams.These are the hands that will comfort you when you are sick, or console you when you are grieving. They are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of happiness. These are the hands that will hold you in joy and excitement and hope, each time she tells you that you are to have another child, that together you have created a new life. These are the hands that will give you support as she encourages you to chase down your dreams.

Declaration Of Intent

Know now before you go further, that since your paths have crossed in this life you have formed ties between each other. As you seek to enter this state of matrimony you should strive to make real the ideals which give meaning to both this ceremony and the institution of marriage. With full awareness, know that within this moment you are not only declaring your intent to be joined  before your friends and family, but you speak that intent also to higher powers. The promises made today and the ties that are bound here greatly strengthen your union; they will cross the years and lives of each of your growth. Do you still seek to enter into this ceremony? Yes, We Seek to Enter. Vows/Ring Ceremony

The Boy , Will you cause her pain? I May
Is that your intent? No
Jasmyn , Will you cause him pain? I may
Is that your intent? No
*To Both* Will you share each other's pain and seek to ease it? Yes
And so the binding is made.*First cord is draped across the bride and grooms hands*
Jasmyn , Will you share his laughter? Yes
The Boy , Will you share her laughter? Yes
*To Both* Will both of you look for the brightness in life and the positive in each other? Yes
And so the binding is made.
*Second chord is draped across the couples hands*
Jasmyn , Will you burden him? I may
Is that your intent? No
The Boy , Will you burden her? I may
Is that your intent? No
*To Both* Will you share the burdens of each so that you may grow in this union? Yes
And so the binding is made.
*Drape third chord across the couples hands*
Jasmyn , will you share his dreams? Yes
The Boy , will you share her dreams? Yes
*To Both* Will you dream together to create new realities and hopes? Yes
And so the binding is made.
*Drape fourth chord across the couples hands*
The Boy , will you cause her anger? I may
Is that your intent? No
Jasmyn , will you cause him anger? I may
Is that your intent? No
*To Both* Will you take the heat of anger and use it to temper the strength of this union? We Will
And so the binding is made.
*Drape fifth chord across the couples hands*
Jasmyn , Will you honor him?I will
The Boy , Will you honor her? I will
*To Both* Will you seek to never give cause to break that honor? We will never do so
And so the binding is made.
*Drape sixth chord across the couples hands*
*Tie chords together while saying:*
The knots of this binding are not formed by these chords but instead by your vows. Either of you may drop the chords, for as always, you hold in your own hands the making or breaking of this union.
*removes still tied chords, lays them on the altar* *displays rings* These rings are a representation and constant reminder of these chords of binding, an emblem of your unity, and a symbol of how your two lives are now joined in one unbroken circle.
*hands band to The Boy *Place this ring on her left ring finger & as you hold it in place, repeat after me:

I, The Boy , take you Jasmyn   to be my wedded wife, to have & to hold, from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness & in health, to love & to cherish, till death do us part. With all my heart, and all my love, I make this pledge to you.*hands band to Jasmyn *

Place this ring on his  left ring finger & as you hold it in place, repeat after me:

I, Jasmyn , take you The Boy , to be my wedded husband, to have & to hold, from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness & in health, to love & to cherish, till death do us part. With all my heart, and all my love, I make this pledge to you.

Blessing/Kiss/Presentation

And now, with this union of hearts & hands, & by the power vested in me by the laws of the State of Nevada, it is with great joy and pleasure as I declare you husband and wife.
You may kiss to seal (and celebrate) your union. Ladies & Gentlemen: I now present Mr & Mrs The Boy  and Jasmyn Blank

Table time!!

Since I can't think clearly without comparisons and tables - here we go!

The Grove - 549.99	The Flamingo Chapel - 642.00
One Hour use of Grounds	Unlimited use of grounds (that there are)
Bridal Consultation	Bridal Consultation
Choice of Music (on CD)	Pianist
Officiant	No Officiant (150.00 for the one we want)
1 hour Photog – 36 exp. We keep Negs.	(12) 4X6, (2) 5X7, (1) 8X10 photographs (16 pics)
Two Hour Limo Service	No Limo (but in hotel)
Use of Dressing Rooms	No Rooms (but in hotel....)
Up to 50 guests	No guest limit
150.00 for video	Video
No accommodations	Free night in Mini-Suite
N/A	Leather Bound Wedding Album
N/A	Leather Bound Certificate Holder
Making our own	Medium Bouquet (that I wouldn’t use)
Making our own	Boutonniere (that he wouldn’t use)
Secluded on a ranch	Next to a pool in a hotel
30 minutes away from Vegas	In the middle of the strip

So... that is the condumdrum. I'm STILL leaning towards The Grove more so than The Flamingo Garden Chapel , and I guess what I'm trying to figure out is why don't I just go wholeheartedly with The Grove? The consultant has been responding swiftly and cheeerfully to all my questions - the grounds are gorgeous, the officiant seems quite fun...it will end up costing about the same....

Eh. Maybe I just need to sleep on it.

jasmyn

Updates....

Well - that has gone over (with my folx) much better than I ever thought. Everyone seems more than eager to come to Vegas.

So - I've narrowed it down to two places.
1) The Garden Chapel at the Flamimgo Hotel or
2) The Grove at Silk Purse Ranch.

Personally - I like the Grove better....the only perk that the Flamingo has is that it offers video and a night's stay in the hotel. The Grove however - it just has a better 'personality'...it's just plain PURTY. And it's cheaper (naturally).

So...I'm excited again - the wedding (including airfare, lodging and the reception) has dropped down to 4K. Which is SO manageble.

*grins*

I'm considering buying my dress now - getting a simple one from Watters & Watters or WToo. Corey wants to wear a simple suit. My mom's getting our rings. One of my friends has offered to help me create finalize the website. I'm hopefully *cross your fingers for me* going to get a different part time job that pays more and is more flexible. I spent a WHOLE DAY with the light of my life - and I'm just so freaking happy.

*happy sighs*

jasmyn

Mad Scramble (Change of Plans)

I don't think I've mentioned lately PRECISELY how much I love my mother. As I get older - I see that she's not perfect, but she's damn close. She's got her failings and her blind spots (and don't we all) and while stumbling over a new one kind of sucks - it's still delightful to realize that she is HUMAN.
She's a wonderful human though. :) So - I talked to her about my 'cold feet'. She told me (more or less) to do what feels best for us - and then suggested Vegas.

*raised eyebrow*

I have been just FUNDAMENTALY against Vegas - I don't want the drive through, I don't want the cheese factor, and heaven KNOWS I don't want Elvis (Or even worse - Elvii!!). But - after doing a little research online, it looks like I can still get a nice sweet little romantic garden wedding - in Vegas. Heh. It's close enough that it's not outrageously expenisve, but far away enough that we don't have to worry about a BUNCH of hanger ons. Besides the fact that - it's Vegas...and most of my family hasn't been there. His family? Some have, some haven't, but that's an issues for another entry.

So - *grins* I'm excited again. And besides the fact that it will be cheaper to get married on the date we REALLY wanted (September 1st - a Monday) and I mean - *grins* It's just reallly reallly better.

Lst night Corey FINALLY admitted that he really doesn't care WHERE we get married, HOW we get married or anything else. All he cares about is that we get married (which no doubt, is the MOST important part) - but the trimmings are kinda cool too, ya know? So - I get to be all girly girly. *LOL*

So...I'm about to get the deposit back from our site *sniffsniff* though I REALLLY did love it, and continue hunting for the right 'place' in Vegas. I'm considering trying to talk him into going out there over Christmas (if he has any vacation time) so we can actually preview stuff.

jasmyn

Conscious Bride (Part 2)

See - the sad part is that I know EXACTLY what I want. I want a small simple ceremony with - (from my family) My mom, grandmom, Nee, Mitch, JJ & Leon..and from Corey's Family - his mom, grandmom, brothers. Parents & siblings in other words.

Then a mediumish reception with just everybody there - we could even still have two...maybe in a resturant - a place with REALLY good food and drink.

So that's the thing. I don't WANT a bunch a people there watching us get married. And I don't WANT to worry about hurting anybody's feelings. But at the same time - I DO want the big ole celebration afterwards. Much afterwards... :)

So - the thing is - where can we HAVE the wedding with isn't OVERLY inconvient to any of the above guests, a lovely natural location - yet far enough from Philadelphia and Indianapolis that it will deter stragglers from coming? And at the same time - enough fun & nice enough that people will WANT to come - but not super expensive?

Poconos? Atlantic City? Smokey Mountains? Jamaica?

Obviously Jamaica's my personal favorite.
But...the other places would work too.

*sigh*

jasmyn

Conscious Bride

I think - I will call my mother. Tell her that Nee had the baby (a boy, 8lbs11oz - no name as of yet) and then somehow segue into asking her if she would be simply heartbroken if she wasn't there when I got married.



Me and the Luv talked about it yesterday - and he is perfectly peachy about running off. He doesn't care if his gramma is there, his mother - well he would like her there, but she might be incapacitated - and his brothers - I don't think either shall really care. I would love to have Nee (but with a baby is she REALLY going to want to travel) and Mitchell and Leon and JJ there - but it's not super crucial...and all of them are on the broke side of poor. What it really comes down to - while me wouldn't miind having others there with us, it's really all about us. And to try to force ourselves to have the event that everyone but us wants - it's not really right.


And the biggest sign to me that this is really what I want? I'm not fretting over losing the 300.00 deposit I put down on the site. It would be worth it to get it right.
Mind you - if my mother has a fit - maybe we can just invite her down. Or *rolls eyes* go back to the UTTERLY original plan - invite everyone - let them know it's in Jamaica - give listing of places to stay - and see who shows up - esp. since I now know that my grandmother wil come anywhere I get married at.



Not sure. Not sure. Just plain not sure.

Jasmyn

Top Ten List (in no order)

1: He makes me laugh.
2: He is my grounding.
3: He supports my flights of fancy.
4: He's honest.
5: He can admit when he's wrong.
6: He loves me - truly, madly, deeply.
7: He's hot.
8: He's rooted deeply in himself - centered, focused, determined.
9: He makes me feel like Dido - everytime I talk to him, suddenly the cares of the day fall away.
10: I love him.


And for these (and about 500 trillion more) reasons - I'm marrying him. And while it doesn't matter much where, or by who, or how - it's going to be as close to perfect as we are....

 

Jasmyn

Phases (on the downside)

I go through these phases, right? It's NOT that I'm not excited about marrying Dear Heart - cuz I am. It's not that I don't want to have family and friends there to see it happen (cuz otherwise they most likely won't believe we did it) cuz I do. I'm just not  - sometimes - into it. I think about it and I'm all like 'ehhhhhh'.



So lately I've been fanatsizing about Jamaica again. Or maybe the courthouse...but I don't WANT to do it that way. *sigh* I'm not making any sense to myself. I want to have the wedding - with the cake and the flowers and the purty purty dress and all that jazz - but I'm not really INVESTED in it. And that's not a good thing - but it's not really a BAD thing either. It's not good cuz I'd hate to be haphazard about it and look back and wish I had done better. It's good on the other hand - because it greatly reduces my chances of going bridal. *snicker*



And I've noticed that my phases tend to sharply coincide with times that I'm either 1) missing  Corey (cuz I do - dreadfully most times) and/or 2) worried about money (which I am...most times). There have been occasions in the past few weeks where I almost (please note the ALMOST) wish we 'oops' and got pregnant so I would have a REASON to toss it all...but thankfully that's just not gonna happen. 



And then I feel so guilty for even FEELING this way - I'm mean I'm a girl - I'm a kinda GIRLY girl - aren't I supposed to be engrossed/thrilled/totally overwhelmed and giddy about planning My Very Own Wedding (TM)?? But I'm NOT...and I don't know why. It's the wedding that I'm not thrilled about mind you - not the whole 'rest of life' thing - which is the important bit. And then - it's not very well as if I could tell Corey this - I'm already wishywashy enough. And (because it's a phase) I know that next week or so I'll be slighty more thrilled and more eager to plan and organize and pay and all that jazz - but it still really won't feel like how I expected it to feel. And how did I expect it to feel? Hm. When I was in Upward Bound preparing for a performance - I felt a thrill of excitement - an eagerness to get on the stage and do my thing. I was excited - even slightly obsessed -  practing steps and phrases and everything. That's how I expected to feel - and instead I feel like I'm putting together a dinner party for coworkers. Coworkers I don't even really like. Bleh!



*pouts* Sooooooo.... what to do, what to do?  *shrugs* It's not like we're not HAVING the wedding - cuz dammit we are. And it's going to be lovely. And we're going to have a crapload of fun. But... I just wish I felt that way in my heart as much as I feel that way in my head. Ya Know??



jasmyn

Random Stuff

Okay - these people at my site are making me NERVOUS!!! I get the recipit today (thank gaia they took out the right amount of money) and on it is says I reserved the OTHER site (the bigger, but not as cute one) rather than the one I really wanted. I freaked. I think I'm really turning into a bride. Of course - I called them a few moments ago, and he had just checked the wrong thing on the sheet. We are aware that I will be calling them once every month or so to confirm that I am still booked. They're gonna hate me. *sunny smile*



Stumbled across this HILARIOUS blog (you've GOT to look at her wedding planner).


It's odd - cuz I think I'm more or less done for a while. I do need to start getting together the stuff for the invitations, and start tormenting Corey more about finishing his half of the webpage - but other than that I'm sailing. I think that next month I will get the Sam's card (so that I can start shopping there and get a feel for what food and flowers they have) and order the paper and the envelopes.



I'm so freaking wishy-washy about the favors. Sometimes I'm like 'screw 'em' and other times I have this 'list' of things I think would be cool - but I'm the one getting married! Of COURSE I think they are cool. Okay - so the list is as follows:

1) Bamboo Parasols. The pros: Can be used as shade during the outside wedding, are cheap. The cons: Who the hell is going to want to KEEP the thing and have it cluttering up their house besides our grandmothers (who are willing to have almost ANYTHING cluttering up their houses).

2) Brass Bookmarks. The pros: Useful, small, is a nod to how we met (he walked up to me and asked me what I was reading. I needed a bookmark - get it??). The cons: The minimum order is 100 (we are inviting 80, but HOPING for 50 people to show),they are damn expensive, and most of our guests aren't the huge bookworms we are.

3) Tins of color coordinated M&Ms. The pros: Almost everyone likes M&M's - and for those few who don't, there are plenty more who will. The tins (aluminum with glass tops) can be reused for whatever (we all need itty bitty junk holders) and are easy to transport back home. The cons: I'd have to etch the top of each and every one of them - which I might want to start soon if I'm getting that. They are kinda expensive - more expensive than the parasols, cheaper than the bookmarks...and the biggest thing - it's just so STANDARD. *sigh* I might as well give out Jordan Almonds. *shudder*



I suspect that I will end up with either nothing or the candy - but we shall see. It's kinda scary that I can no longer say "Oh - it's over a year away - I've got TIMEEEEEEEEE". *sigh* Yeech.

And Corey has STILL not asked the officiant or the baker. I'mma hurt him.



Jasmyn

Gifts and the like...

So - we haven't registered yet, though we know what stores we WANT to register at (Target, Williams-Sonoma, Crate & Barrel and Pier One). People have already began to ask us if we have registered - which is cool as that means they plan on getting us stuff - but it's also kinda weird.

So - anyhow, my mother - being the wonderflly difficult woman that she is - decided that there is no way in Heaven's name that SHE (mother of the bride and all) was going to get us something from there. So - instead she said that she will buy us our wedding rings. *smiles* She said that she wanted to get us something that we would cherish and KEEP for all time. *big ole cheesy grin* So - naturally my eyes have gotten REAL big as far as what I want. *grins* So...I told Corey and he was REALLY excited about that (one of the big expenses we foresaw) and we think that we want to get matching bands. Of course - since my ring is funny shaped (it's a cross prong one) our bands won't be EXACTLY identical, but they will be close enough.



At first - I was thinking that I wanted to stick with just one ring - but I've changed my mind (even before her MOST generous offer) and want two. It feels so very MARRIED to have the two rings (at least to me it does). But - even though I LOVE my ring - there is something about the setting that drives me bonkers - and I didn't notice it till after it was set and dammit I wasn't going to start looking for a new setting at that point.



So - for the wedding I would LIKE to get a matching set - an e-ring setting that is almost identical to the one I have (but in platinum, maybe with some pave on it) and the matching band (so I won't have to drive myself batty trying to figure out what band will fit with it). I have as trong suspision that my mom doesn't know how much good jewelry can cost (she is NOT into sparkly stuff at all - don't know HOW she birthed me) so I will have to talk to her about her budget. Heh...cuz no matter WHAT it is - we will manage to spend it.



But that's exciting. And it's one of the few ways I would be willing to take money from her for the wedding -and even if her budget doesn't totally cover what we would want - I'm sure it would be a big ole chunk of it.

jasmyn

More on Divorce and Happier wedding stuff

I  thought about this last night - and actually, I DON'T think I will go and look up that stats for the lifetime of marriages for people my age. I have this creeping sensation that it really might be awful high. Offhand - in RL and online - I'm friends with ONE happily married couple, a couple of really crappily (predicting divorce in the next 5 years or less) married people, and a bunch of engaged people. :) So. I've got hope - but I don't want the numbers.
The question actually came from a Knottie - not the Knot itself.
But, I thought it was a good question, despite the scandalous stats. There are so many stats around marriage that I just KNOW have to be skewed - like that OTHER stat that say people who live together first tend to get divorced at a higher rate than those who don't - but don't take into account the fact that many of the people who DON'T live together first might not because of religion - and thus of COURSE they would be less likely to get divorced. Ugh.

---

 

In wedding realated news - I scheduled an appointment at the site yesterday to look at it again and take some pictures. I was scheduled to be there at 5:00 - I got there at 5:03...and THERE WAS NO ONE THERE!!!!! Argh!! I called both sites on the location - no answer. I paged the guy I saw the place with before - he was off, but  told me that Alex (the guy who was supposed to meet me) had told him at 4:15 when he last talked to him that he had an appointment with me at 5. The hell do you forget something like that in 45 MINUTES??? *deep breath* But yeah, I still sent off the deposit today. I really love this site - as soon as I manage to freaking take some pictures I'll show them off to you guys.
So - that's done. As soon as I am sure that I have the place *giggle* I'm going to buy the paper for the stationary. It's really real. :)

jasmyn

Okay - so I was wrong....

Ah - to refute my previous entry - here is one written by TBU - "That Bride"'s fiance.

Now I'm going to have to go & look up the real statistics. *sigh*

Fifty percent of marriages DO NOT END IN DIVORCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so fucking tired of hearing that "statistic" thrown around like it is so much gospel. It touches on numerous hot buttons of mine.

1. It is used as justification for avoiding / getting out of a marriage. "Well 1 out of every 2 marriages end in divorce. Why should I work to keep mine together?" They have even come up with a cute little term for people of my age group who have gotten married and divorced already - 'Starter Marriages'. What the fuck is that? It contributes to a mindset in our culture that divorce is inevitable. Which, in turn, may become a self-fulfilling prophecy. This could get me off on an entire personal responsibility rant, but I will save that for another time.

2. The willingness of people to simply repeat something without thinking because it is much easier to parrot than think. Did you know that exactly 63.58% of all statistics are made up? Think for piss sake!

3. Using specious numerical logic. This is the one that probably pisses me off the most. How was this "statistic" born? In 1976 (or thereabouts), some reading genius happened to notice that the number of marriages in the United States (as tabulated by the CDC for that year) was 2,154,807 and the number of divorces was ~1,083,000. Dividing divorces by marriages, the person concluded that 50.25% of marriages ended in divorce. Hey moron - the CDC announced that 4,058,814 were born in the United States in 2000 and that 2,404,598 people died. Does that mean 59.25% of all the babies born in 2000 died? Mr Apple - I'd like you to meet Mr. Orange.

What is the right number? It's one of those statistics that is probably next to impossible to figure out. From 1940 to 1990 there were ~ 106M marriages in the US and ~38M divorces (~35%). But this doesn't factor out re-marriages and serial divorcees, so the real rate is probably even lower than that.

**Climbing down off soap-box**

 

Interesting Question...

This question was asked on the Knot - and I thought it was a very good, thought-provoking one. It's not something that us newly marrieds/marrieds-to-be really want to think about - but it MIGHT help prevent it.

Question:
Sad but true - statistically, 50% of us are headed for divorce. So why you think that you and fiance/e will not be included in that 50%. And I mean beyond "I just love my fi so much and he loves me too." Of course you love each other...I HOPE that you wouldn't get married if you weren't in love right now. But the statistics suggest that at least for some of us, that love will fade. So how 'bout it? Share why you think that you and fi will make it when so many others have not.




Answer
Okay - One of my reasons is because we love each other. Our love has made us committed to each other, dedicated to working through WHATEVER problems we may have.  Love is a major part of what makes us WANT to get married – and I hope that love is ALWAYS  a major part of why we stay together,
We are working on our communication - sometimes it's hard, sometimes we miss each other’s meaning - but we STILL come back to each other and work through what ever the issue is, because it's worth it - we're worth it to each other.
Neither of us grew up in a healthy 2-parent family. He was raised by his mother/grandmother & grandfather, I was raised by my mother and my demented (and thankfully EX) step-father. We have taken from those not so nice relationships what we DON'T want us or ours to turn into, and we consciously work towards that.
We are both aware that marriage is NOT easy - it takes work. And sometimes we will be pissed, and sometimes we will be hurt, and sometimes we might not like each other very much. But still - what we have is worth us working through.
Over the time we have been with each other (and it’s only been a short 2 years) our love for each other has grown. We complement each other. We are partners with each other. We trust each other to the fullest of  our ability.  We laugh together, we can have serious conversations together, we have GREAT sex.  We are friends, lovers, partners. We talk about anything and everything (dealing with us and outside of us) and sometimes we don’t agree – but it’s always an interesting path.  We’ve lived together – and so we know the hot buttons and the not so hot buttons. We can say we are wrong when were wrong, say ‘I’m sorry’ when we’ve hurt the other, and tell the truth – even if it does hurt a wee bit.  We can compromise, and recognize that we ARE two different people...and thus we might have different ideas and goals – but we can boil them down to what’s most important and come to an agreement which might not thrill either of us, we can agree on.

And yes, I do believe in divorce. For my mother and me it was the best possible thing.

jasmyn

No Wedding Stuff Today....

I was on an airplane today, one year ago. By now, we all knew what had happened...and I was sad, scared, and concerned about all those I knew in NYC. Thankfully, all those I love and cherish made it through that horrific day fine. Sorrowfully, many others did not.

One year later, I’m not sad. I’m not scared. I am concerned – but most of all, I’m angry.

I'm angry that the people who are 'supposed' to be leading us NEED more than the deaths of 3,000 human innocents on American soil (as they clearly don't care about the deaths of non-American innocents on non-American soil) to understand that the world is changing and they CAN'T continue on they way they have.

I'm angry that as a nation we haven't changed one WHIT in what matters - we are still intolerant, selfish, self-centered, fixated on material wealth, and have the biggest superiority complex in the world.

I'm angry that anyone would SUPPORT going to another country and killing innocent men, women, and children for some sort of spurious 'revenge' - without any proof of guilt.

I’m angry that the United States has SUPPORTED other regimes who have mercilessly killed their own, and is killing hundreds of thousands of innocent men, women, and children in by denying them access to medicine.

I’m angry that the media is no longer the ‘protector of the public interest’ and instead has turned into a puppet of whoever has the most power and the most money.

I’m angry that so few others ARE angry. I’m angry at the fact that America hasn’t changed – and to all apperances isn’t changing.

I’m angry at the men who flew those planes – the ‘statement’ that they wanted to make could have been made in so very many other ways.

I’m angry that in a country that was founded on Liberty and Justice – revenge is still considered an appropiate course of action.

I’m angry. And I’m not quite sure what to do with it. I’m frustrated, and I don’t know where (or how) to relieve it.

I know one thing – I will give a moment of silence for those who lost loved ones, friends and coworkers. It won’t make me feel any less angry, but at least it will give my heart some ease.

God, please bless America, because we really need it.

jasmyn

Location (check!)

Well - I booked the site today. Almost forgot actually, and I only remembered because I got online and was poking around on here. Booked it for two hours the night before (Reheasal/decorations) and from 10 til 6 the day of. I figure that will give us plenty of time to do any setup/breakdown that is needed.

I think this is really going to come together well. I showed my mum the website and she had some snarkish comments *sigh* but eh, well - what else can I expect? I wanted to take pictures of the site before I came out here, but treid to scedule it way too late. Anyhow, I wantto take pictures so that I can have a solid base to determinethe best decorations/centerpieces/ all that other stuff out.

*grins* As my MOH told me - I've done the hard part (figuring out what I want) all that is left is the easy part. And I'm REALLLY trying to believe her too. Really. She helped plan her mom's recent wedding though, so I guess I HAVE to believe her - right?

jasmyn

Thought I forgot??

Even though I AM on vacation (and having a FAB time!!!!) there was no way on the entire GREEN earth I was going to forget.
Now, I MAY be a lil late - but can we HEAR it for less than 365 days to goooo???

*grins*

The friends and family met C. and he was a hit all around. :) He left this morning, and made it backto CIncy okay - sans luggage, but okay. SO far I have heard nothing but sunshie and light about him, and they are all underfirm instructions to be truthful. :) He was his usually charming self - and really I don't think it could have gone any better. :)

Well...I'm in Brooklyn right now, and it's my turn to play...so I will write more when I get back to PA.

jasmyn

A weighty matter

Dear Miss Manners,
I have been married to the girl next door for 22 years and when we married we were both in very good shape. We have three wonderful children and a marriage that lacks for romance.

I have maintained my size and shape after all these years because of my workout habits. My wife, even after the three births, was able to maintain a very sexy figure for years because of her workout habits.

Over the last six years, she has lost most of the joy and a majority of her discipline to work out and has gained weight. She went from a slim 120 pounds to 145 pounds and grew from a size small (6) to a large (10). Over the last year I have mentioned her weight many times. Too many times, to the point that I have hurt her feelings with several of these comments.

This is my question. How can I tell her the truth of how I feel toward her without hurting her? I still love her and would never divorce her but I have lived for the last six years with a women that I did not marry and would not have dated 22 years ago at her current size. She is only 40 years old!


Gentle Reader,
Honesty in marriage is vastly over-rated, Miss Manners has always thought. She can hardly think of a worse topic to be truthful about to your wife than that you feel aggrieved that her looks have changed after 22 years, and now consider her someone you would not date, let alone marry.

Even if you succeeded in upsetting her to the point where she wasted away -- although you would be taking the risk of driving her in the other direction, toward the refrigerator -- what good would it do you? She would only feel aggrieved that she married someone whose feelings had shrunken so unattractively.

The only acceptable way to go about encouraging her to lose weight is with flattery, not criticism. Tell her you are worried about her health because you love her so dearly. Tell her that the greatest present she could give you would be to let you see her once again in her wedding dress. Tell her that you hope she still finds you attractive. Just don¹t tell her that your having maintained your weight makes you entitled to a more attractive wife than you consider her to be.



Ya know - this is the kind of attitude that sends women into anoreixa. FOUR sizes over 22 YEARS and THREE children??? FOUR sizes. And he wouldn't have dated her at a 10? Oh god lord man! Did her marry her for her waistline or for love and compassion and trust and all that other good stuff?

Worried about her health!? *sighs* Since when does a size TEN put in the the 'unhelathily fat' stage? Even if she WAS say - 4'9....145 isn't super fat. Gee Whiz.

And the wife would be wrong if she complained that he couldn't get it up like the 18 y/o she married did.

Ugh.

jasmyn

Puzzlement

Not quite a wedding related entry - more of a marriage related entry.

I have this 'friend'. One of the few I have in Indy, and she is a kinda odd girl. But I don't have her oddity weigning on my mind today. She got married in November (the first wedding I went to) and seemed like the very epitome of a happy, loving, bride.

Move forward about - ohhhh - a little under a year.  She's cheating on her husband. With more than one man. Doesn't seem to have the LEAST bit of shame about it either. I'm pretty srue she's been doing it for about 3 or  months. She's pursuing something with the pionist at her CHURCH, and has done 'stuff' already with the father of her oldest child.

And I'm honestly puzzled. I truly don't understand. I was a bit of a wild child (yes, I DEFINITELY had my moments) but I grew out of them - and heaven knows I wouldn't even CONSIDER getting married if I knew I was still in my wild child stage. So I'm wondering - what makes people stray? Especially married people...and even MORE especially recently married people. Does the vows that they took mean jackSQUAT to them? Do they not see it as a serious thing? Or is it just a matter of plain old triflinginess?

I actually don't have as big of an issue with dating people who cheat...maybe because it's a lesser commitment. Maybe because that commitment hasn't been pledged for life. But when married folx stray...it's so much worse in my eyes - and I'm sure it's because <b> I'm </b> about to get married - and I can't imagine even opening myself to the POTENTIAL of hurting C. that much. Or opening myself to even the VAGUEST chance that something that I do (to 'scratch a itch' nonetheless) would destroy our relationship.

Eh. Just had to get that out.

As far as how I feel about her...I've lost just about all respect I had  for her. I don't trust her. I mean really - if she is willing to cheat on her husband of  TEN MONTHS with TWO men - I'm sure she would have absolutely NO problem lying to lil ole me. Yet my lack of friends who live here is making me very slow to really drop her.  *sigh* Eh.

jasmyn 

Vapors

Is it really sad that I will sit and just stare at the countdown clock for minutes at a time?






Yes...I thought so too.


*silly grin*



jasmyn

stumbling into something....

That might just be wonderful. Okay - this actualy has a kinda long lead in, but you gotta get the whole picture.

Where I work is in a kinda industrial area - not too far from downtown, but not the nicest part of town either. Occasionally, we would drive somewhere for lunch, and we drove past this huge rickety looking building.
Shortly after I got engaged, I noticed seeing what looked like wedding dresses in one of the windows - but they looked - odd. Almost like it was a consignement shop, or a thrift shop or something. I could tell they were NOT the run-of-the-mill dresses - but couldn't figure out why.
Okay - fast forward to today...well yesterday really. I went out last night for a lucious steak dinner, and I had about 5 or 6 oz of sreak left - that I knew I wanted for lunch. However, by the time I got home the LAST thing I wanted to do was put together lunch. Since I only live 8 minutes (I timed it today) from work - I figured I'd go home for lunch. So - on my way home for lunch today I notcied the shop again - and slowing down -yes, those were DEFINITELY wedding dresses. I went home, ate lunch, watched half an old episode of SNL, and then headed back to work. Naturally - I stopped in front of the shop to look better. Yup - wedding dresses - but they looked NEW. So I went in the graveled parking lot, and inside waht turned out to be a rather nice little office building. Wander the halls for a second - and VOILA! A Custom Bridal Desginer. Yup. As in she MAKES and DESIGNS wedding gowns. :) I was almost giggling the entire time I was in her shop. It's a small shop - but the dresses that she had on display actually looked rather nice (from the light inspection I did).
I'm excited. Of course - she said the gowns range from 300 to 5,000 (depending on fabric, intricacy, and decorations) but STILL!

So. An odd little encounter today. :) My next step is to take some time and go to a GOOD fabric store and get a general idea of how much the kind of fabric I want will cost. Oh yeah - and try something like that dress on. Heh.

jasmyn

*does a lil dance*

Okay. I'm excited - ys I am.

I know, I know, I said I was going to leave the dress thing alone right? But then! I was on the Knot (it's like a car wreck most days - sad & scary and utterly enthralling all at once) and was looking at this one girls stuff and she had a picture. What picture, you ask?? This picture:


which looks A LOT like this:

and then, I also found this one:

which also look alot like the one above it. The first one is a Simplicity Pattern, the second is a Mc'Calls pattern. I'm excited. I'm thrilled. I think that even if my mom can't/won't make it.... I could make it myself.

PS: After seeing them all together...I like the Mc'Calls one (with the blue dress) best. It's closet to the B.Moore dress.

*dancedancedance* The only thing is now - I need to be sure that I actually LIKE the dress on me. Wouldn't that just be SAD? After all this - if I don't like the dress. *sigh*

jasmyn

Hachet Job

I just took an axe to my guest list...and there are still too many people on there (for me).

I was talking to another bride, on another board - and she was talking about how she wants to elope. And that sent me back to thinking about how I pictured the wedding in the first place - very few people, very little hoohah - just me & the boy getting hitched. And I know that I'm slowly getting sucked into making it a big hoohah - and I'm not sure why.

My inital dream? No more than 20 people...but I know that's not going to happen because Corey's family alone is more than 20 people. However, I axed the ' & guests' off of everyone (unless they were married or had been together for over two years). And I'm still hoping that the 'friends' of the family all say no. I really wouldn't mind them NOT coming. Really. I wouldn't. The only people that I TRULY want/need there are Mitchell, Nee, Leon, JJ, my mother and my grandmother. That's it. From Corey's family - the only people that he REALLY wants there are his two brothers and his mother. Of course - since his family lives less than 2 hours away - the whole kit & kaboodle is coming (which adds up quickly). *sigh*

So. Don't know where that came from - it's not that I'm tired of planning (most is done and it still feels fun :)) it's more that I'm concerned that what we end up with will be something more than what we really wanted..

---

Okay - on to more cheerful things. We were thinking of having bookmarks for favors - something sweet that speaks to how we met. Instead though - I'm thinking we should have paper parasols - painted on one side with the symbol and on the other side with the date and our names. A nice stencil for both and a can of gold and burgandy spray paint and it will be all set. And - they will be useful as it will provide shade for the guests as they sit and the ceremony procedes. Besides - they are a hell of a lot cheaper. :) This is them:

and they open up to be about 32 inches. :) 24.95 a dozen...

What else? I'm still pondering the whole dress issue. GAH! I don't know. I think I'm just going to push it out of my head for right now - I've got a while to go before I can really start to seriously think about it. If I can't find anything - I WILL wear the cream and gold prom dress that I have - it can double as a causal wedding dress with ease. I need to get it cleaned...dear god.

jasmyn

Danggit.

Well. It would be just my luck that the dress I really like (the Bridgette Moore) is only sold in THREE states (MI, TX, MA) the closet salon is five hours away and the designer - she's Irish. Doesn't even have a website. :(
Hm. We have a project going live in Kinsale next year - maybe I can make it to Dublin on the compnay. *LOL*

Blimey.

Danggit.

Well. It would be just my luck that the dress I really like (the Bridgette Moore) is only sold in THREE states (MI, TX, MA) the closet salon is five hours away and the designer - she's Irish. Doesn't even have a website. :(
Hm. We have a project going live in Kinsale next year - maybe I can make it to Dublin on the compnay. *LOL*

Blimey.

Dresses

Okay. So last night, while I was at LB (being bored) I was thinking about dresses. I have only worn two or three really 'formal' gowns - but I know jsut from clothing what does and does not look good on me. However, I was having the HARDEST time actually visualizing what my gown would look like. At a lull - I went to one of the big mirrors and pulled my hair up ( i rarely wear it up cuz it iwsn't really long enough to look right just yet) just to see what it would looke like. I looked REALLY cute (suddenly more bridal) and I had a vision of what my dress MIGHT look like. I'm pretty stuck on the 'no white, no ivory' but almost everything else shifted.




To start with - I would like this kind of sleeve/neckline (off the sholder - NOT strapless - I couldn't think of what it was called) and the bodice. See how it has all the pretty embroidery on it?





Then - the skirt I like would most likely be an A-line. Not a super full one (a medium to small crinoline) with a nice sized train. The train bit suprised me as I just didn't see myself in one - but hey - I do like the whole princess bit. I like this skirt:



but, I think that I like this one better (and it shows the train - I think I would want it a TINY bit longer unless it's all bunched up bhind her).




Now this dress I actually like overall - The shoulders, the little sleeve thingys, the skirt, the train - but it's by Brigdette Moore and it had a $$ next to it (Affordable- $601-$1500) in the Knot - so ouch. It cracks me up that a 1,500 gown is still considered afforadable. *sigh*




as for color - I think I want gold. Not like gold Lame gold, or even the common satiny colored gold. I think something like one of these colors would be really nice. I put them in order of the shades that I like best.








Of course - this would be SO much easier if I just took my tail to the store and tried some dressed on - but I honestly don't WANNA! Besides the fact that I'm a 20-22(18-20 on a GOOD day) and thus anything I put on is going to look oddly warped - I've noticed that the only dresses most boutiques even seem to HAVE in a 14/16/18 are the not-so-attractive-to-me 'plus size' gowns. Gah. So. I'm gonna wait for a little while...keep working out and watching what I eat and drinking my water - and try dresses on around January. If I manage to find my dress by Feb. that still gives me 8 months to get it, get fitted (rolls eyes) and be set for the wedding...

PS.

Just found this dress. THIS is the color. Right here. *sigh* It's called Antique Gold.






jasmyn

Changes, changes.

Hm. We are considering changing the wedding date. I really liked it because it was on the third anniversary of the day we met, but it's a MONDAY (a holiday Monday, but still). Ick. *sigh* So - maybe push it back a day to Sunday - and actually we will save a little money doing that as you get a cheaper rate for rentals (the full weekend) when it's done on a weekend.
Hm. Don't know. Nothing has been booked yet, so I guess this is the right time to think about it, eh? I just realized I am going to put the deposit down on the site on Friday, Sept 13. *cue ominous music* Hm.
I've found some discounted stuff that I plan on taking full advantage of - for my guests...since all of his live less than 2 hours away.

Airlines
American Airlines,wedding fares,800-221-2255
Continental Airlines, 800-468-7022, www.continental.com
Delta Air Lines,domestic group fares,800-337-4777, www.delta.com
Northwest Airlines, 800-328-2216, www.nwa.com
Southwest Airlines, 800-433-5368, www.southwest.com
United Airlines, 800-426-1122
US Airways, 877-874-7687, www.usairways.com

Hotels
Hilton, 800-321-3232, www.hiltondirect.comMarriott, 800-831-4004, www.marriott.com

Cars
Avis, 800-525-7537, www.avis.comHertz, 800-544-0058, www.hertz.com

The only thing is that for the airlines, I know you have to have a minimum of 10 people booked on it, so I might only pick two airlines. I don't know how it works for the hotels or the cars. But... I'll find out.

*SIGH*

*yawn*

Must decide. Flip a coin? *LOL* I'm so sick. It's gona be Sunday. Now to run this past Corey....but something tells me he won't mind. Gah. The only thing he has minded about thus far has been the food and the officiant. But I'm thinking that might be more than usual. :)

jasmyn

The Dress Dilemna

Something just crossed my mind - what is it that is so darn special about a wedding dress that demands 50 trillion alterations? It's (when you come right down to it) a white or ivory or whatever colored evening/formal gown. In other words - a really dressy dress. I know that most women can stroll into their neighborhood Saks and pick up a dress off the rack that FITS - no major bust/waist/hip/length alterations needed. Why is it then, the second you step into a bridal salon, you are almost EXPECTED to have five or six fittings?? Come on - I can understand that for a custom made dress, but when you are working off of a basic pattern? Is there something right fishy here or is it just me missing something? If everyone in my high school class who wanted to go could find something off the rack to wear (and we varied widely in sizes) why the devil can't bridal manaufacturers do the same thing?? I think they PURPOSELY make the dress shaped 'wrong'. It doesn't cost the designer anything extra as they can custom make ONE for their model - and the dress shops get a HEALTHY boost in their income because women come back to them for alterations. Just think - the worse fitting the original gown is - the more alterations you need. If one designer made rather wonky dresses, giving the bridal shop more alteration money, maybe the bridal shop will buy more of his or her dresses - perpetuating a cycle that only the designer and the bridal shop benefit from.

*shakes head* I really don't know what I'm going to do as far as my dress goes. I don't want to even try ONE on right now because I expect to be a nice bit smaller before the wedding - and what may look good on me now, my not look good on me then, and vice versa. Besides - I don't want to deal with bridal shops AT all. Everytime I walk into one I hear this huge sucking sound. And I might be a WEE bit oversensetive - but I swear the level of customer service has been down right nasty in every bridal shop I have entered. I've gone to about 4 now (2 David's *shudder* and 2 little boutiqey ones) and neither of them gave me a warm and fuzzy - oh I want to give this business 400.00 for one dress for one day kind of feeling. And I don't have the smallest engagement ring - so any observant clerk would have guessed that I was REALLY there shopping. Maybe it's because I either came alone or with Corey - they figured that unless I had an older woman or two or three friends in tow I wasn't serious.
Eh.
I was flipping through Harper's Bazaar a few nights ago - and realized that I really dug some of the gowns they had in there. While the magazine itself is irratating as all get out (who ARE all those people - and are they the dirty rich that aren't famous? Maybe I don't like it cuz it makes me jealous. I wanna be RICH!!! and what's up with the sexy starvation look??) I for some possesed reason used my soon to expire airmiles on a free subscription. At this point, I'm starting to appreciate more though because it is giving me more ideas as to what I could wear. If a style/color is good enough for the Oscars - I'm thinking it will be fancy enough for a wedding, eh?

I bet they only need one or two fittings too.

jasmyn.

Liars!

ARgh. So, I was right the FIRST time - you can't book the Hideaway until the Monday AFTER Labor Day. *sigh* *pout* Anyhow - I wouldn't have wanted to book it now anyhow, as you have to put down half the deposit within ten days, and I don't think the wedding fund (or either of our pockets) is quite ready for that. *Pouts* I want to schedule another time to go out there so that I can take some pictures and get a general idea of how to decorate the place.

The centerpieces have been bugging me. It's not really a 'fall' wedding - and the theme is not really one that lends itself to a centerpiece, and since the wedding is in the afternoon and the rooms that will have the tables set up in have either one or two walls of NOTHING but windows I think candles would look kinda silly. So - being the crafty little bugger that I am (and doing a little more unpacking) I came across my container of glass etcher and had the BRIGHTEST idea. I would get a bunch of the old school glass pitchers from thrift stores, etch them with the symbol (randomly three or four times), color the etched bit with either burgandy or gold glass paint, and then fill them with sangria or apple cider (the apple cider would go in the burgandy etched pitchers and the sangria in the gold etched ones)and put one of each on a table. Then - we could give them away to anyone who wanted one, or keep them. Thus - something colorful, something useful, something kinda cheap, and something that we can re-use afterwards.

What else going on wedding related? Ah! I went to David's Bridal this weekend (just to wander through) and I repeat - YEECCCHHH!! This time, it wasn't even the style of dress that bugged the be-jesus out of me, it was the fabric! The fabric feels like the absolute CHEAPEST polyester that they could find - with the crunciest chiffon. *gag* So - I see that I shall NOT be getting my dress from there. I came home and rummaged through my closet for the prom dress that my mother made me - and oh mercy! THe fabric is PERFECT. It's rich and soft and dense and just lovely. And I know that the dress cost no more than 80 bucks to make - and we used some expensive fabric. I really night have to twist her arm and get her to make me my dress. :) That can be her gift and her oly contribution (money or time wise) to the wedding.

jasmyn

Calming Thoughts.

 Buckethead's note on my last entry really helped me center myself. For a second there I was getting sucked into the madness - the search and total obsession with perfection.

What I will remember - what I will MAKE myself remember - no matter what kind of obstacles, stupid mistakes, money problems, bratty families, or dilly vendors I run into - what I will ALWAYS remember is - no matter what happens (unless the officiant keels over 5 minutes before the ceremony) is that - when Sept. 1, 2003 is all over, said and done - I will be married. I will have joined into an amazing covenent with the man I love and who is my heart. No matter if I spill a pitcher of sangria down the front of my dress or if all the tuxes are a size too small - we will be married. Even if hal the food gets burnt - and the cake is nasty - we will be married. Even if the photgrapher shows up drunk, and the CD's are all scratched - we WILL be married.

And when it really comes down to it - that's all that matters.

Jasmyn

Curiouser and Curiouser

I know I'm odd - I know my wedding is going to be odd. So why do I get so exasperated when I ask questions and get back cookie cutter replies? *deep breath*

So far - there looks like I have about three choices for a photgrapher.
1) Hire a Fine Arts Student (one of my coworkers at LB is actually a photog major - she may know someone)
2) Hire someone from a newpaper to do it (that way I will get more photojoural look and less mushy frou-frou)
3) Beg my Man of Honor to do it (really don't want to do that - I want him to relax)

I figure it's bad enough we most likely won't have many pictures of the reception - though I'm bringing my camera and I plan on taking plenty of pictures - but we reallllly want to take nice pictures of the ceremony. I need to make a list of what pictures we really want.

Addendum:

Okay - I just saw a website that has the EXACT style of photography I'm looking for - and I'm just mad at this point because I knoooowwww it's expensive. Those pictures are just GORGEOUS - and so my style. Most of the photos that I take are in that - catching little moments and tiny details and still managing to give a nod to the big picture kind of style. In a perfect world - I would clone myself and take my own bloody pictures. Gr. So now (as I'm guessing he is in Aspen) I'm looking for a photographer here that might do something similar. *LOL* Oh mercy!! I'm going to have a photographer like ole girl from Diary of a Mad Bride - bouncing around like he is doging bullets. *LOL*


bllleeghhhhhhhhhh.....

jasmyn

Excuse the Dust

*brushes off the last bits*

Well - thus completes the total revamping of my diary - from "My wonderful Life" to "Our Wonderful Wedding".

:)

All else I want to do is find a good, free countdown clock to count down the days to the wedding.

jasmyn

Oh!

It's so PRETTY!! - the paper that is - I've decided which ones I'm goig to use - originally I was going to go with one color for the mailer for the Save the Date, and another color for everything else....but in the paper I chose, I only LIKE one color. So... now I have to figure out how to do this blasted mailer. Hmm... maybe I can use the heavyweight vellum for the mailer - that would be nice, something a little sheer. Yeah - I should be able to find that at a paper store around here....esp. considering as of right now I ONLY need 12 sheets.

*grins* and the envelopes are gonna be soooo pretty too. I'm using this really rich copper color with black writing on it...*wiggles* I'm soooo excited.

Also - reading The Knot and the like - I realized that I had seriously over-estimated how much the flatware and plates and stuff would cost - so that makes me feel a little better. Not a lot - just a little. :)

*wiggles* I do realize that by the time I'm done collecting stuff a little it at a time, it's not going to cost NEARLY as much as I expect it will. Like I plan on buying most of the paper next month. Also, I'll be collecting the paperware, and the centerpieces right after the fall stuff goes on sale and.... well - it's nice to have a year to gather stuff AND save money. :)

We gonna have a NICE honeymoon - yes sir we are.

jasmyn

WHA, Wha, whhhhaaaaaaaaaa???

Okay - I'm addig up stuff and I SWEAR I'm being as penny pinching as I can be - without food we're already up to 2650.00. HUH?? How the hell did THAT happen??? Though I have to admit - our site plus all the doodads (extra chairs, tablecloths, the help, eating stuff (which I guessed the price at so I might be over compensating) and decorations) is about half of that. The stationary, flowers and other random crap takes up the rest. *sigh* And no, no photography has been included yet. Or my dress. Or the suit/tux. or...well you get the idea.

I got my paper samples yesterday (okay, actually I got the little notice saying they are waiting for me in the apt. office)- so I'm going to check those out, then bring one or two in to work tommorow and see if I can print these bloody things myself. That will most likely save about 200.00. *weep* The flowers we're doing (calla lillies for the bouquets and orchids for the corsages/boutonnaires) - the centerpieces I haven't decided on - I can't think of anywhere else to trim cuz I AM KEEPING MY SITE DAMMIT. *blinks* That felt nice.

Oh course - if I wasn't fighting with all my might to INSURE that me and the Boy go on a 7 day honeymoon this would be a lot easier. :) Heh. But dammit - I am. Okay. and of course - I'm hoping and praying there will be a nice fat lil sale going on like the one they have now when it's time for us to go. I figure we will book the honeymoon in May - so we shall see.

I read "Diary of a Mad Bride" last night - such a funny book. I had many sighs over the fact that she HAD an office of her own where she could get away with making wedding related calls at work. I swear - if it wasn't for the internet I would be SCREWED as far as planning this thing goes.
And naturally, I have utterly no intention of having my mother or his grandmother (heaven protect us!) helping us at all. Esp. with money from his grandmother. There would be waaaayyyy too many strings attatched to THAT little package. *grins* In fact - no one has any clue that we are THIS far along in the planning...and I plan on keeping it that way until at least late January - then I can spring it on them all suprising like. I think I'll start looking for a dress then too. I should have lost a good bit of weight by then.


MWA-AH-AH-AH-Ahhhhhh............

AHHHH!!! It's the Attack of the Mad Planner

I lay all this almost toally at the feet of 'That Bride'. *LOL* I've been planning (and budgeting) up a storm over the last few weeks. I'm trying to figure out how to throw a nice elegant yet laid back (cuz we are two of the MOST relaxed people ever) shindig or about 100 people. Maybe. Argh! See this is the hardest part - trying to create a realistic budget when you're not QUITE sure how many people may be coming. I mean if EVERYONE we are going to invite comes - that will most likely run to about 150-160 people (EEKK) but if only the people who I really expect to come come, then that will put me more around the 100 mark.
I have always wondered how in good gracious NAME women have wedding where 300 to 500 people show up. Do they really KNOW that many people? I might KNOW 400 people - but dear god, I'm not going to invite them to my wedding! Maybe it's a side effect of having a brokn family. I don't know my father's side of the family, or for that matter my grandfathers side - so that chops the potential guest list almost in half just for family. I don't have a crap load of friends - so that whittles it down even more.

I'm seriously considering turning this diary into the Wedding Journal - as I have the personal journal on the website and I have the weight loss journal over there too. I purposely didn't create a journal on the wedding website (folx don't need to know THAT much info) so here would be a perfect place. I can't STAND UW enough to use their journaling system - and The Knot (which drives me batty too) doesn't have one.
Ah! I love it when an idea comes together. :)

 Jasmyn

Hard Work

Whhoo.... I've worked hard today. *LOL* I've set up the complete budget for the custom/handmade stationary (invitations, RSVP postcards, thank you notes, STD magnets, and announcements), have come up with a rough menu (of course it has to be vetted by Corey Love), come up with a SMASHING idea for the cakes (it's a mini-meal, so why not have mini-cakes??) and pulled together a rough concept of the beverages. Last night I started working on a playlist - I have over a hundred songs, and assuming a 3 minute average length ( and I know that several of these songs are closer to 7 minutes) that would provide 5 hours worth of music (well over the reception time). There won't be a DJ - so we will have to rent speakers and buy then burn lots of CD's - but *grins* we will get to keep all the CD's afterwards. The only thing that is up in the air right now (in our minds)is the photographer. We want NICE pictures - but GOOD LORD - starting at 1500.00?? *shakes head* I will most likely hire someone from the LLYCamera Club (i've seen some of their wedding pictures and they are great) or a senior student photographer for IU or Purdue or something.

*sighs* I have the dollar figures for the paper stuff - but not for anything else. There has to be someplace where you can get figures for how much beer, wine, and champange costs.

We're aiming for a 3500.00 wedding for 100ish people, and we think *crossing fingers* we can pull it off. Even if we go up to 4500 (we are going to have at least 7000 to use altogether, but dammit I want to spend at LEAST 5 days at Couples Ocho Rios) I would still be happy.

I'm actually starting to get excited - I'm seeing in my minds eye a plan actually STARTING to come together. Have I mentioned how much I LOVE my site? I love it. I haven't actually gotten it yet - but I have been keeping an eye on the local boards and no one has even MENTIONED this place. Ohhhh I'm so excited - two more weeks until I can book it. And I love Excel too... :) it's EXCELLENT... I have my guest list set up there, and linked it to the number of invitations and the amount of food so that as my guest list goes up and down, the food and stationary costs reflect that WITHOUT any work on my part. Thanks Bill....

*grins*

This is going to be an interesting wedding. We want to try to do as much as possible ourselves - that is REALLY the only way you can be sure that you are getting EXACTLY what you want. Of course - sometimes that brings the prices down (as I expect it will with the food) and sometimes it hikes the price up (as I know it is with the invitations) but this is going to be a very unique and individualistic wedding - and for that I'm thrilled.

*grins & starts humming that damn Jagged Edge song*

Also - We've determined that we are going to do this wedding. And by that we mean that WE (me and Corey and no bloody body else) are the sole planners and concievers of this shindig. We respectfully listen to our parents, grandparents, and friends - but the final decision is all on us. :) To me a wedding shouldn't be the last thing parents do for their children - it should be the first MAJOR thing a couple does for themselves.

I'm terrified that I will either burst out laughing or crying on my way down the aisle - depending on the music and the way Corey looks/at me. During my graduation from Spelman all you could really see of me were my eyes and my teeth *LOL* and this - whooo - this is SO much bigger and better than graduation.

I'm considering when I change my name on the marriage cert (yes, I've decided I'm changing it - keeping my full name, but adding his but not USING mine - it's the principle of the matter) I'm also going to add Jasmyn. :) It's one of the names that has become MOST mine - and besides when I become a famouns author and want to write under another name - or just USE another name for whatever reason - I will have a couple of legal ones.

jasmyn