20 Words to Change your Life
Whether it’s an overflowing dishwasher, a cranky kid or an hour stuck in traffic, life can sometimes take the wind out of our sails. But little words can make a big difference.
By Sally Stich
“Words really program our emotions and the way we think about things,” says Maryann Troiani, Psy.D., psychologist and coauthor of Spontaneous Optimism: Proven Strategies for Health, Prosperity & Happiness. “Negative words sap our enthusiasm, but repeating inspirational words to yourself can instantly boost your mood and motivate you.” Make these words your own and let them uplift you every week.
BEGIN
Take charge of your life by beginning something you’ve always wanted to do, like going back to college or cleaning out a closet that’s been driving you crazy. If your goal seems overwhelming, start small. Clean one shelf or take one class. “By daring to begin the life you’ve always wanted, you become energized,” says Mari Tankenoff, L.P. and CEO of MindFitness, Inc., a counseling and consulting firm in Minneapolis.
IMAGINE
Your imagination has no bound-aries. As children we pretend, but as we grow up we gradually lose our appreciation for daydreaming. “Every so often, I let my imagination run wild,” says Vicki Inman of West Point, New York. “By thinking about a fantasy vacation or new career, I visualize what I can accomplish. I think that dreaming about something is the first step toward achieving it.”
LAUGH
“Laughter is a direct route to the soul. It broadens your perspective, keeps you healthy, and makes an unbearable situation easier to deal with,” says Joel Goodman, Ed.D., director of The Humor Project, Inc. in Saratoga Springs, New York. Learn a few jokes to tell your kids, hang up your favorite cartoons or call an old friend and relive a funny moment you’ve shared.
BELIEVE
Tell yourself you will succeed at whatever you’re doing at the moment. Troiani suggests setting your mind to predict success. “Convince yourself good things will happen today and they will. If you tell yourself you can’t possibly achieve your goals, you won’t,” she says.
SEEK
It’s risky to say you don’t know something, but finding your way is half the lesson. Allow yourself to grow by exposing your vulnerability and insecurity. Skip the safe chitchat and take a chance in conversations. Travel someplace new. Don’t live strictly inside your comfort zone. Don’t play it safe.
PLAY
As adults, we can always find something that needs to be done at work or around the house and we forget how to have fun. Every week Pat Stoler of Bloomington, Minnesota, makes a conscious effort to take time off—whether it’s to talk to her daughter, build a sandcastle or take a walk. Afterward she is refreshed and able to think more clearly, she says.
TRUST
Analyze the ways you make your decisions. “I have learned to trust myself and go forward when I’ve made a decision, rather than second-guessing myself,” says Alicia McCollum of Ypsilanti, Michigan. “I’ve realized that being paralyzed by indecision is worse than making the wrong decision. You can’t grow if you don’t trust your inner voice.”
LISTEN
Many times when we listen, we’re distracted or preoccupied by trying to defend ourselves instead of hearing what is said. Try listening to the other person’s point of view first, and she’ll be more likely to pay attention to yours.
CREATE
In a world of accelerating change, creativity maintains balance in our lives. You don’t have to be a poet or a painter to exercise your creative muscles. “Even if it’s taking a new route to work, listening to a different kind of music, or brushing your teeth with your other hand, the more you use your creativity, the more it develops,” says Amy Malkoff, a musician and graphic designer in Marblehead, Massachusetts.
CONNECT
“Sometimes we yearn for something but don’t even know what we’re missing,” says Edward M. Hallowell, M.D., psychiatrist and author of Connect. “Simply put, it’s that we need one another.” Relationships are what pull us through the hard times and make the good times meaningful, so nurture the connections that uplift you. Have a family breakfast if dinner isn’t possible, have lunch with a friend or play with your pet.
TOUCH
In our fast-paced society, we keep each other at arm’s length with technology, the limits of our time and a seemingly endless list of chores. But humans need touch to survive and thrive, says Dr. Hallowell. Every morning hug and kiss your husband for a full 30 seconds before you both rush out the door. Schedule a massage for yourself. Pat your friend on the back, both literally and figuratively.
FORGIVE
Forgiveness is life-giving because it puts you in charge. “It doesn’t mean you’re caving in or letting the other person off the hook, but by giving up your resentment and offering compassion, you become empowered,” says Robert Enright, Ph.D., author of Forgiveness Is a Choice. It doesn’t change the harsh words that were exchanged or the unfair treatment you’ve received. But in time, forgiveness may help you remember things differently.
PRAY
“Prayer is asking God to transform the situation and become the heart of your life, your family, your community,” says David Bryant, chairman of America’s National Prayer Committee, a multidenominational coalition that sponsors the National Day of Prayer. So take a moment each day, whether you’re in the shower or stuck in traffic, and connect with God.
HOPE
Hope is the knowledge that even in the worst of times we can triumph over hardship and sorrow and grow in spirit. Hope is what sustains humanity in the face of harsh realities. Whether it’s the desire to attain a certain goal at work or the belief that tomorrow will be a better day, hope conquers fear and replaces it with a vital optimism.
CHOOSE
“We can’t always choose our circumstances, but we can choose our attitudes toward them,” says Greg Hicks, coauthor of How We Choose to Be Happy. If you lose your job, you probably didn’t want it to happen, but you decide whether to be angry or to see it as an opportunity. Perhaps you can discover a new career. Avoid negativity by asking, “What is the opportunity in this situation?”
APPRECIATE
At least once a day, stop to ask yourself what you appreciate about your life at this moment. Do you love the view from your kitchen window? Your husband’s smile? Instead of focusing on what you think are shortcomings in yourself, focus on what you like. Do you have beautiful lips, cute toes, nice legs? Are you a giving and thoughtful person? Admire the good in yourself.
GIVE
Happiness involves giving freely to others. Whenever Gina Meacham of Richfield, Minnesota, is having a particularly bad day, she tries to reach out and help her family or friends. “I have learned that by giving, I actually get more in return than the recipient,” she says.
READ
“Reading removes boundaries. When you read you can learn anything you want to know,” says Carmelita K. Williams, immediate past president of the International Reading Association. Get a library card for everyone in the family, and use it regularly. Try different genres: mystery, historical fiction, biography. Read about things you’ve never considered.
WRITE
By putting your thoughts on paper you can express emotions, organize thoughts and make dreams more concrete. You don’t have to use perfect grammar or fancy words. Write a letter to your mother or your unborn child. Tell your senator what you think. Keep a journal. Write a letter to your husband when you’re angry with him, then tear it up. Words are freedom. Words are power.
RELEASE
Avoid doing something just because everyone thinks you should. Give yourself permission to relax. Stop worrying about what your neighbor, your boss or your mother will think about you. Grieve for people, ideas or moments you’ve lost, and then let them go.
How to Stay Motivated to Exercise
You know you should exercise, but some days it's tough to get moving: not enough time, too tired, no energy. Counteract those excuses by discovering what motivates you, and use these strategies to develop and maintain an active lifestyle.
Steps:
1. Determine an attainable goal such as exercising twice on weekdays, once on weekends. Creating realistic goals will set you up for success. If your goal becomes too easy, you can always design a new one.
2. Create rewards for achieving your goal. The reward can be a massage, a new workout outfit, a new CD, a session with a personal trainer, or a new piece of sports equipment - whatever you really want.
3. Partner with a friend, co-worker or loved one - someone who will support you and your goals without sabotaging them.
4. Subscribe to a fitness magazine or online fitness newsletter. New tips and exercises can be inspirational and alleviate boredom.
5. Create a competition with co-workers or friends. For example, the team whose members exercise for 30 minutes, three times each week for three months wins a prize. You decide what the prize is.
6. Change into your workout clothes. Sometimes, it's just a matter of getting dressed that causes the biggest barrier.
7. Erase the concept that if you can't do at least 30 minutes you're wasting your time. Exercise burns calories, increases energy, and improves your health - even in small doses.
8. Try a new sport or class. Adding variety, group support and competition can increase your likelihood of exercising.
9. Make a commitment to your dog to go for a long walk at least twice each week.
10. Look for ways to incorporate activity into your day, even if you can't do your normal exercise routine. Take the stairs instead of the elevator, go bowling instead of to the movies, or use a push mower instead of a power mower.
11. Sign up for a race and send in the entry fee. Whatever your activity - running, biking, walking, swimming - there are hundreds of races offered all over the world. Pick a place you've always wanted to visit.
12. Join a gym. For some, paying for a membership increases the likelihood of compliance. It also eliminates the bad-weather excuse.
13. Keep a journal
Keep track of your workouts in a journal. It's a great tool to see your progress on paper.
14. Visualization
It will be a boost to take a moment to visualize your exercise. Imagine the running course; the path, the trees, the wildlife sounds and sights, and the smells of the outdoors. This can be a real jump-start!
15. Fun
There are a few exercise classes that I actually look forward to because they are so much fun. In fact, if my agenda doesn't look too crowded, I often work in an "extra" water aerobics class!
16. Buying exercise equipment.
Classified ads are invariably filled with exercise equipment that is virtually new and reasonably priced. Decide what you want and watch for it.
17. Make an appointment
Put exercise on your calendar or in your day planner. If you treat exercise as an appointment you're more likely to keep the commitment as you would any other appointment.
18. Think about how good you will feel afterwards
When you think about not going to the gym, consider how you will feel afterwards, if you do go. Think about how you will
feel if you don't work out. With this in mind, get yourself into the gym and you've overcome the biggest obstacle - you!
19. While reading e-mail or websites
I do toe-heel exercises, raising and lowering, which helps flexibility. Sometimes I stretch my arms over my head, to the opposite side for five minutes. Shoulder scrunches and finger stretches and wrist rotations are other easy exercises while reading.
20. Staying motivated
Think of being healthy to watch your children grow up and to see your grandchildren.
21. Set goals
Set realistic goals that are somewhat flexible. For instance, I will exercise 3 times a week (but not on specific days). That way if you miss a day you can make it up. Don't start out too quickly. Vary your excersise routine to keep it interesting.
22. Change is good
Don't do the same exercises all the time. After awhile they become boring to you as well as your muscles. Variety is the spice of life.
23. How to get going for your workout
Think about how energized and refreshing you will feel after excersising. Also think about how you can get fit and look fabulous at the same time!!!
24. Start small
Naturally, it's difficult to get started and you don't want to do a 30 minute work out the first time. So, start simple!Start out with a 10 leg lifts, sit ups, jumping jacks, etc..., then gradully add more as you go along!
25. Walk to the beat!
I walk for 45 minutes every day. Some days are tough to get going. I've made myself a cassette with 15 min. of slow-to-moderate songs, 20 min. of fast music, then 10 min. of moderate, then 5 min. at the end to cool down. Get your Walkman, Give it a try!
26. Do it, then think about it
When your mind starts arguing with you about starting your workout, tell it you'll get back to it after you've done the first 5 minutes of exercise. Check in with yourself then after you've done that first 5 minutes--you probably won't want to quit!
27. Sign up for a class
Sign up for a class, you will feel more motivated to go. Instead of just planning it out in you agenda. This works especially well if you sign up with a friend.
28. While you watch TV
Most of us find time to watch a couple hours of t.v at night, so why not exercise during that time? Do cardio during your favourite show and weights or abs on the commercials. The time will fly by.
29. Suit workout to you
Before picking a new exercise, make sure you choose a team sport if you like group activities. If you don't like to compete, choose a solo sport. If you like the great outdoors, head outside - if not, head for a gym. Don't waste your time!
30. Display a current pic on your bathroom mirror
Put up a current or "fat" picture of yourself on your bathroom mirror. Everyday when you get up, you tell yourself that you are moving further from that picture (and the way you looked in it) because you will do your workout that day.
Each day as you mentally prepare yourself to look better than the picture, you will be motivated to keep going.
31. Look in the mirror
When you feel lazy towards working out stand in front of the mirrow and examine the flaws of you body that need to get fixed.. workout will seem a lot more rewarding.
32. Stay Motivated
Cut out a photo of a fit person and a not so fit person. Tape them to your mirror or fridge and think, "Do I want to look like this, or like this?"
33. Write it down!
A goal not written, is only a wish
34. Turn up the music
Play fast-paced music, even before you start working out. Whenever I feel like rolling over and dying rather than working out, I crank up the radio and it always gets me motivated.
35. motivation
Well, motivation can come in any form. For me, I am motivated by certain movies and music. So whenever I really don't feel like working out, I just listen to certain songs that just hype me up. For me, the hardest part is always getting started, so the music or movie gives me a jumpstart.
36. My motivation
To be perfectly honest, being appealing to the opposite sex is what motivates me. I look at girls who I think look good and I want to be the guy that girls think looks good. It might sound superficial, but that's what motivates me.
37. Best motivation
Set your alarm early. I set mine at 5:00 and once it goes off, I'm awake anyway and go do my exercises. Do it during the weekdays and give yourself a rest on weekends if you need it.
38. Increase
Every time you work out, always try to increase your exercise by one weight or an extra 5-10 repetitions.
This will motivate you to keep trying harder and get a better feeling for yourself knowing that you are improving.
39. Give yourself tiny rewards..
I tell myself that if I'm able to complete my tough exercise routine today, I'll reward myself with that long luxurious bath I've been dying for later! For every accomplishment, treat yourself to a little something! You deserve it!
